The End: Re-Mastered

This document is a comprehensive guide to all the changes that took place to create the Re-Mastered version of the episode. As it happens, The End has just about the most alterations made to it, and was previewed on BBC TWO on Friday 13th February 1998, two days short of a decade since the original was first broadcast. Never before had Friday 13th been so scary…

For more general changes, see the Re-Hamstered article. These include the addition of a film effect, the picture being cropped and the sound being remixed to stereo.

Old Time New Time Change(s)
0.00 0.00 Replacement: Opening titles. The Re-Mastered titles are an amalgamation of the opening part of the Series I and II sequence, and a compilation of clips from the series, in the style of Series III onwards. The clips used are the same for each series, hence Robert Llewellyn appearing in the titles of twelve episodes that he had nothing to do with.
0.58 1.04 Addition: A new CGI shot of the ship in space, with a standard piece of music underneath.
0.58 1.27 Replacement: A change is made to the on-screen credits. In the original version, it simply reads:
THE END by ROB GRANT & DOUG NAYLOR. However, the Re-Mastered version has three sets of titles – firstly: CREATED BY ROB GRANT & DOUG NAYLOR; then THE END RE-MASTERED; and finally WRITTEN BY ROB GRANT & DOUG NAYLOR. D’you think Rob Grant and Doug Naylor were involved?
2.13 2.41 Addition: Two little skutters whizz past Rimmer and Lister.
3.01 3.26 Replacement: New whooshy noise and ‘bing’ as the dispenser delivers the chicken soup.
3.22 2.44 Addition: An announcement is made in the background, as Lister and Rimmer discuss the service droids.
5.48 6.13 Addition: A new CGI shot of the drive room area, with a new piece of melancholy music, which continues to play during the funeral.
5.48 6.21 Deletion: A wide shot of the congregation at the funeral, with Todhunter walking in to join them, has been removed.
6.14 6.43 Addition: A computer generated panel has been added in front of the cannister ejector, in an attempt to disguise the pedal bin system.
6.18 6.46 Addition: Some heads have been superimposed onto a wide shot of the congregation, in a rather unconvincing attempt to suggest that the drive room is packed with mourners.
6.29 6.56 Addition: A CGI shot of McIntyre’s cannister speeding away from the ship.
6.30 7.04 Addition: We see the cannister through the porthole.
7.37 8.10 Deletion: LISTER: I’m not the lowest rank on this ship.
8.30 9.00 Deletion: LISTER: That’s why the animals are going to have to be quite tall.
RIMMER: Nice plan, Lister. Excellent plan! Brilliant plan, Lister!
9.12 9.34 A collection of changes leading up to the reception, which all overlap one another.

Replacement: Holly’s speech changes from:

“The Welcome Back George McIntyre reception is about to begin in the refectory. George says he’d like to invite everybody, especially those who weren’t able to attend his funeral.”

to:

“The George McIntyre welcome back reception is about to begin in the refectory. Now George is dead, he hopes everyone will make an extra special effort to attend, so he can thankyou personally for all the flowers you sent to his funeral. Why I have to make these announcements when I’ve got an IQ of 6,000, I don’t know. It’s just so demeaning. I could have invented a new theory on quantum mechanics instead of saying that. It’s just not right, it really isn’t. Instead of saying that stuff about quantum mechanics just then, I could have rewritten Hamlet and made it really good. It’s just not right. Not right at all.”

The speech continues over the forthcoming CGI shot.

Deletion: Lister kicking Rimmer very hard.
Replacement: New CGI shot of Red Dwarf in space, set to the same music as the old one.
Deletion: The establishing shot of the refectory, in which a skutter takes an empty cup off someone, has been removed.

11.03 11.13 Deletion: The vast majority of McIntyre’s speech has been removed, the deleted parts being:

“I want to thank everybody for giving me such a marvellous funeral. I’ve just seen the vid. And I want to thank the Captain for his beautiful eulogy. Beautiful. But I still don’t understand why he didn’t use the one I wrote. (laughter) This must seem pretty spooky for everyone, but I don’t want you to think of me as someone who’s dead, more as someone who’s no longer a threat to your marriages. (laughter) I think Joe knows what I’m talking about.”

11.54 11.48 Deletion: A couple of reaction shots have gone – Lister laughing and McIntyre nodding.
12.36 12.19 Addition: Yet another CGI shot of Red Dwarf in space.
13.54 13.45 Replacement: Holly’s announcement has been altered from:

“Will entrants for the engineer’s examination now make their way to the teaching room.”

to:

“Bing bong. Will all entrants for the engineer’s examination please make their way to Lecture Hall 14 on Level 21. Examinees are reminded that learning drugs are forbidden, and urine testing could take place. Any urine found cheating will be automatically expelled.”

Interestingly, despite the name of the teaching room being changed, to suggest that the ship has many learning facilities, the original name is clearly visible on the set.

14.17 14.18 Addition: New beeping noise as the door closes.
18.34 18.35 Deletion: LISTER: Sir.
19.26 19.24 Addition: New sound effect as Todhunter opens the stasis booth door, reminiscent of a strong wind.
19.32 19.33 Replacement: The windy sound effect is repeated when Holly activates the stasis field, then a freeze frame of Lister waving and a model shot are replaced with a montage of CGI shots, showing the ship travelling past various planets and nebulae. The music has also changed, from a military-sounding piece to a more solemn number.
20.09 20.22 Deletion: The “everybody’s dead, Dave” dialogue is no longer set to music.
20.23 20.36 Replacement: Holly’s line “They’re all dead. Everybody’s dead, Dave” has been re-recorded.
20.28 20.41 Replacement: Holly’s line “Everybody is dead, Dave” has been re-recorded.
20.32 20.45 Replacement: Holly’s line “Gordon Bennet! Yes, Chen. Everybody. Everybody is dead, Dave” has been re-recorded.
20.37 20.50 Replacement: Holly’s line “He’s dead, Dave. Everybody’s dead. Everybody is dead, Dave” has been re-recorded.
21.24 21.37 Replacement: Holly’s line “He was explaining to the captain why he hadn’t sealed the drive plate properly” has been re-recorded.
21.37 21.50 Replacement: Holly’s line “Three million years” has been re-recorded.
21.51 22.04 Replacement: Holly’s line “I don’t suppose it’s any consolation, but if she were still alive, the age difference would be insurmountable” has been re-recorded.
22.10 22.22 Replacement: Holly’s line “Well, she won’t be much use to you on Fiji now. Not unless it snows, and you need something to grit the path with” has been re-recorded.
22.25 22.39 Replacement: Holly’s line “I think I’ve gone a bit perculiar to tell you the truth” has been re-recorded.
23.05 23.18 Addition: A new whooshy sound as Lister passes his hand through Rimmer.
24.59 25.10 Deletion: Rimmer no longer falls through the console, nor does he say: “Lister, will you listen to me? Just listen to me. Just shut up. Shut up.”
25.11 25.10 Replacement: The Cat’s leitmotif changes from a variation of the main theme, to a James Brown-esque funky riff.
25.18 20.16 Addition: More silly sound effects, this time as the Cat performs forward rolls.
26.01 25.56 Deletion: Lister and Rimmer’s first meeting with the Cat is no longer accompanied by scary music.
26.09 26.04 Addition: For some reason, the Cat has the ability to roar like a tiger, which he does as he makes himself look big.
26.46 26.39 Addition: Holly’s explanation of the Cat evolution is now illustrated by a diagram. A pause has been added to his speech to allow time for this to be seen.
27.12 27.09 Addition: Shortly after Rimmer passes through the Cat, we hear what can only be described as somebody crashing into some pots and pans, despite Rimmer’s hologrammatic status.
27.16 27.13 Addition: Another CGI shot, in between the scene in the teaching room and the one in the sleeping quarters.
27.33 27.39 Addition: Sound effects of the Cat slurping as he eats his crispies.
28.15 28.21 Deletion: CAT: Did you say Frankenstein?
LISTER: Yeah, she was your great, great, great, great grandmother, or something.
CAT: The Holy Mother? The virgin birth? No-one believes that stuff.
RIMMER: The virgin birth?
LISTER: No, it was a big black tom on Titan.
29.01 28.52 Addition: Holly interrupts Lister’s line “Holly? Plot a course to Fiji”, by responding with “Yes, God?” after his name is called.
29.08 28.59 Replacement: The final caption, “THE BEGINNING”, has a new font. Also, it now appears on-screen straight away, instead of wiping across as it did before.
29.11-
30.01
29.01-
29.57
Replacement: The end credits. Aside from being placed over the CGI version of the ship rather than the model version, the credits are now in a dull, serif font. There are also some additional credits, notably Chris Veale (digital effects), Mark Wybourne (editor) and Geoff Moss (post-production sound).

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