Ian’s Newsround – 05/12/03

Jesus. Eight fans are to appear on a special commentary track on the next batch of DVDs. There’s a competition on TOS, and the winners of this will be part of a team commentating on Back To Reality or Gunmen Of The Apocalypse. Now, calm down. We’re certain that GNP don’t want thirty minutes’ worth of people giggling and saying ‘smeg’ on each DVD. After all, they’ve put a minimum age of 18 on it, which should prevent most people who are guilty of this off (although, I’m only just eligible, but never mind).

To further weed out the fools, there are a series of tiebreakers: “What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?”, to which anyone who answers “got drunk on lager and puked everywhere lol” will be eliminated; “Who would you share a curry with?”, to which the wrong answer is “Lister”; “Who would you blast with a bazookoid?”, to which the wrong answer is “Rimmer”; “Who would you marry in a GELF ceremony?”, to which the wrong answer is “Kochanski”; and anyone who completes the sentence “”I want to record a Red Dwarf commentary track because…” with “I’m a smeghead! lol” will be shot immediately.

This is yet another innovation by the team, who are certainly not resting on their laurels, and are clearly eager to please the fans. But will the commentary tracks be worth listening to? If John or I am involved; yes. If not; no. Simple as that.

In a genuinely excellent move, BBC TWO are repeating an episode of Red Dwarf every bloody day over Christmas! The run, from 20th December to 2nd January, will take in the last three episodes of IV, all of V and damn near all of VI, with Out Of Time being omitted, because they’ve run out of, erm, space. The times vary; and the full list, subject to alterations, is on TOS.

Mr. Flibble has rather kindly interview Paul Augustine and Laura Palmer, two of the head honchos behind the Region One DVDs. According to Paul, comedy releases on each side of the Atlantic are the same. I’ll just go and watch my extra-packed copy of Blackadder, shall I? I shouldn’t mock; it’s a good interview, and the American arm of BBC Worldwide seems more organised than ours.

And finally, TOS brings us news of a Christie’s auction of Dwarf costumes. BASTARDS. We found out about this a week or so ago, but we needed to download a massive PDF file to get the details, and neither of us have broadband. We got a friend to download it for us, and John was going to write an article about it today. But that BLOODY BASTARD Ellard got there first. Gah!

Anyway, the Film & Entertainment auction is on December 16th, with viewings on the preceeding two days. The Dwarf lots are a Series VIII crew costume, Kochanski’s red PVC number, The Cat’s lovely yellow and black zebra-print (presumably a bee/zebra GELF) and a bazookoid. If I were a rich man, diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dum.

Leave a Reply