I’m reading IWCD again

Blimey, I’d forgotten quite how good it was. Actually, I think I appreciate it even more now than before. I’m only on Chapter 13 of Part One, and, you know what, I’ve done some LOLs!

The Madame turned to Lister. ‘Sorry to keep you waiting, sir. Would you like a pick’n’mix or an off-the-peg?’
‘No, I don’t want a girl…’
‘No, – uh, this is kind of, uh, embarrassing…’
‘I understand.’ She smiled. Before Lister could stop her, the Madame clapped her hands and a flock of android sheep baa-ed their way noisly into the reception area.
‘No, look… listen…’
‘Baa.’
‘Yes, sir?’
‘Baaaaaaaaaa.’
‘You don’t understand…’
One of the sheep turned, winked at him coquettishly, and wiggled off, hips swaying provocatively, towards the marble staircase.

One I thing I didn’t notice before is that Kochanski’s Learn Japanese book is by a certain Dr P. Brewis

19 Responses to I’m reading IWCD again

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  1. Funnily enough, I dug out ICWD this evening to show my sister the Rimmer exams bit (she’s in the middle of her A-levels), because it’s possibly my Favourite Bit Of Any Book Ever.

    And the line about “he even went out for extra paper” still cracks me up every time.

  2. The whole Rimmer exams stuff is something I appreciate a lot more now, having FAILED UNI BECAUSE I WAS LAZY.

    And I did ridiculously stupid revision timetables for my A-Levels, too…

  3. When I was at school I gave a review of IWCD in front of my English class and read out the very passage quoted above as (at the time) it was definitely my favourite.

    There are several other excellent bits though, such as when Rimmer leans over Lister’s earhole while he’s asleep and yells “STOP SNORING YOU FILTHY SON OF A BASTARD’S BASTARD’S BASTARD!

  4. http://www.bureau42.com/view/2419

    “This isn’t nearly as funny as the show, and I think I’ve finally figured out why. Strictly speaking, Red Dwarf isn’t a sitcom. A sitcom, aka situation comedy, is a show in which characters are put into funny situations for the amusement of the audience. The situations that these characters find themselves in are not funny. The human race has been wiped out, the sole survivor is trapped with a bunkmate that he hated with a passion, and so forth. What makes the show so freakin’ hilarious is the way the characters interact. This is probably why the only moments in the books that are still truly funny are the scenes with heavy dialogue. Without the interaction, it just falls flat.”

    I’ve never heard so much rubbish in all my life. ‘The book isn’t funny because the show isn’t a sitcom.’ Well, it is, and, erm, it is.

  5. “t’s almost enough to overlook the similarities to Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

    If someone drags out this tired and wrong comparison one more time, I swear I shall do something unpleasant.

  6. >The whole Rimmer exams stuff is something I appreciate a lot more now, having FAILED UNI BECAUSE I WAS LAZY.

    Ironically enough, I was reading IWCD when I should have been revising for my first year Mods exams in Old English. Which I failed by scoring a magnificently poor 14% (and only got 40% on the resit that September, to survive on my course by 10%).

    I remember reading it, laughing at Rimmer, and then realising I was exactly the same. And then getting heart palpitations, and the like.

  7. I quite literally used to do huge revision timetables for my A-Levels. And then didn’t follow them.

    Results: DEE. So, it worked then.

  8. “A sitcom, aka situation comedy, is a show in which characters are put into funny situations for the amusement of the audience.”

    This is wrong. The Royle Family is a sitcom. The comedy, however, does not derive from where they are or what happens, because they’re in their house and nothing happens.

    ” Lister introduces Rimmer to the women Kryton has been caring for.”

    and

    ” The editing has a few issues. There were a couple of typos, and some fact checking (such as discussing the “Karma Sutra,” or talking about moving to “Def Comm 3″) just wasn’t done. I give it 2 out of 6.”

    Pot, kettle and black, there.

    “If you’re familiar with the show, it probably won’t live up to expectations”

    Hands up if you’re a Dwarf fan who thinks the book’s almost as good as, if not better than, the TV series?

    Thought so.

    The comment on the review by “Skelpaff” is far more enlightening and, um, *correct* than anything in the review itself.

    But, come on, we could tear these sort of things apart all *day*…

  9. My favourite bit of the book is the pre-accident stuff. Kinda makes me wonder why Series VIII is shit.

    “…Lister stared out of the sleeping quarters’ viewport window, longing to be bored again”

    “Two small beers and three hours of stomach-knotting relaxation later, he would go back to his bunk and spend half the night awake, praying to a God he didn’t believe in for a miracle that couldn’t happen”

    Love it. Even better when read by Mr Christopher Barrie.

  10. > Love it. Even better when read by Mr Christopher Barrie.

    Ooh, yes. I can’t read it, even the passages that have been quoted here, without hearing his voice.

    More annoyingly, I can’t read any of Kryten’s lines in Last Human without hearing Craig Charles’s shit impression.

  11. I’m now glad I avoided the audio novels.

  12. John! You’ve missed a line out of the extract. “We have some lovely boy droids”, or similar.

  13. I’m a smelly prick, clearly.

  14. The books rule. I was so surprised when I first read IWCD because someone had told be it was shit, the cuntface. The books show just how great a movie could be, if someone would just give Doug ?30 million. I wouldn’t care if the movie was based directly on Last Human or sort of a mash-up of IWCD and Last Human. Not that it’s EVER EVER EVER going to happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn.

  15. I like the fact that Lister has a sonic screwdriver.

  16. Isn’t it the Sonic Super Mop? It cleans, it tightens, it can’t be bothered to look up the quote?

  17. Get yer name right, John, there’s a bag of chips in it for ya.

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