The most futile post ever

Is it worth getting annoyed about Amazon customer reviews? No. Is it worth getting annoyed about Red Dwarf Xtended, which was released in 1997? No. So, let’s get going then. I’ll ignore the Series 6 jibes and get straight to the really gross part.

  • “Rob Grant’s “Backwards” is quite amusing but just recycles old TV episodes.” – clearly, it doesn’t.
  • “The first things we notice about Red Dwarf 7 are the new computer generated effects and lack of canned laughter.” – a) Dwarf laughter is not canned – it was recorded in front of a studio audience. b) There’s only no laughter track on the Xtended release, not Series 7.
  • “It’s even filmed on cinema film rather than video tape for bright colors and an expensive look.” – NO NO NO FUCKING RESEARCH YOR FACTS YOU IGNORANT FUCK
  • “The new effects were mildly shocking at first – a lot of the charm of the old series was that it was obviously filmed in the BBC canteen and the props were painted cycle helmets and old computers they found dumped in skips.”Oh shit off.
  • “Chole Annet (not the original Kochanski either) plays the character far too seriously and politically correctly and it was just no longer funny.” – a) It’s Chloë Annett, and b) What the hell has political correctness got to do with anything? Yet again, someone complains about it rather than having any decent point to make. Nobody who ever moans about political correctness has anything of worth to add to a discussion.
  • “On this video the actual episode where Rimmer leaves (“Smoke Me a Clipper”) is missing!! To leave such an important episode off is bizarre to say the least.” – You know, there’s a reason for that. The clue’s in the title of the video. See if you can work it out.

I could go on, but I believe I will postpone. And fair enough, the effects discussion is really more a matter of opinion. But please – if anyone is going to write a review, could you please try and establish a few basic facts before writing it and save everyone the bother of reading your ill-informed rantings?

9 Responses to The most futile post ever

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  1. I like amazon reviews, and have done loads myself, but it;s no good doing one if you know fuck all about what you’re writing about. Fine, I’m sure if you watched the Xtended video having never seen VII and expected it to be somewhere in the region of V or VI you’d be fucking horrified, especially with the pauses for laughter and the butchering of the Out Of Time ending (notice I’m not mentioning the shit jokes).

    Let’s be honest, the person that did this review is a cunt. As is the person below it, Captain Colostomy *tee hee Hoddle har*. However, it’s clear that it takes time to even accept VII, let alone like it. I do agree that Kochanski was lame (at first), and the comment about her being too ‘politically correct’ I think is relevant only because her character was used in such a bland and predictable way. Fuck knows. Comparing Duct Soup to series I & II just makes me feel ill. Although Soup is probably my second favourite episode. Of VII, that is…

  2. The sad thing is, there’s a vaguely interesting review of VII gasping to get out of the review – and there’s the odd good point. But if people can’t be arsed to get basic facts right, then I quickly lose interest.

    On the opinions front… agreed that VII Kochanski is lame. But political correctness has absolutely sod all to do with it. The claim is used as a crutch for people who can’t be arsed thinking up a proper argument.

  3. I hasten to add, before I come back from work and find a huge load of posts calling me a wanker, that I’m not particularly annoyed by this. I just find it slightly exasperating that people can’t be bothered to research things before writing a review, or come up with tired cliches about the special effects or political correctness.

    And yes, that counts for a few things on G&T in the past, as well…

  4. >”Rob Grant’s “Backwards” is quite amusing but just recycles old TV episodes.” – clearly, it doesn’t.

    Oh, come one! Yes it does. Embellish them? Deepens the plots? Shows them on a level a TV budget could not afford?… yup…But all of the novels recycle the episodes to some extent. More often than not, the episode plots fit beautifully within the structure of the novels but there’s less excuse for the appearance of some of the ‘less-relevant’ (but very funny) dialogue that makes the transistion from screen to page.

    The best transistion has to be Me2 in IWCD which adds so much to the story and even adds an extended ‘Gazpacho Soup’. I’d argue that some of the other novels don’t accomodate the ‘shoe-horning’ of episodes so well. DNA in Last Human feels a little hurried and doesn’t work nearly as well (replacing Kochanski for Lister in the ‘double polaroid’ has always jarred with me).

    Anyway…uh,it wasn’t me who wrote that review.

  5. It recycles old TV episodes, yes.

    But it doesn’t just recycle old TV episodes. Critical bit of wording, there.

  6. That’s amazon for you. It’s just like IMDb: the intelligenct nuggets are buried in a general mudhole of stupidity.

  7. Incidentally, I know I misspelled “intelligent”. Fuck off.

  8. >But it doesn’t just recycle old TV episodes. Critical bit of wording, there.

    Well, whoops.

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