The G&T Christmas Message

My husband and I would like you to FUCK OFF.

A rather festive Craig Charles. In that he's FAT and probably DRUNK.You don’t want to listen to that old bat, do you? She ain’t no human being. We at G&T, however, are human beings, and John Lydon is yet to challenge us on that statement. So, rather than going on about natural disasters and terrorism and that, we’re going to concentrate on what’s important – the world of Red Dwarf.

Well, it’s certainly not been an annus horribilis. The highlights have, without doubt, been two excellent DVD releases – Series VI and Series VII. With them came extra features that will be cherished for years to come, most notably Return to Laredo, Howard Goodall – Settling The Score, the two massive documentaries and, especially, Identity Within. This 40-minute Chris Barrie-narrated feature is the closest we’ve got to new Dwarf material for six years, and stands up to repeated viewing much better than the series it accompanies!

Of course, there’s also been other things that could be considered new material this year. There was also Prelude to Nanarchy, an ‘official’ Dwarf comic, written by Andrew Ellard. Plus, of course, there’s the fan films, which dominated the first half of the year for us. We’re very proud of The Movie: Yeah, No, Yeah, No, and I should hope James Hickey is pretty bloody proud of his excellent Attack of the Giant Hand Monster.

Dimension Jump, this year, was held in the “lovely” town of Peterborough. It was the first convention under the command of new club chairman James Bull, who replaced the excellently-tattooed Jane at the start of the year. We all had a great time, despite some niggling issues, and DJ XIII, back in Peterborough in September next year, should be a vast improvement. A copy of BTL every now and then would be nice as well…

The Dwarf cast had a mixed bag of a year. Robert is continuing to be excellent on Scrapheap Challenge, which is quickly becoming a Sunday evening institution. Craig started the year by competing in Channel 4’s The Games, where he was repeatedly filmed being sick. However, he’s since moved to Weatherfield, Manchester and starting working for a cab firm in Coronation Street. Danny appeared in a second, and seemingly final, series of BBC ONE’s appalling sit-“com” The Crouches, but that can’t be helped. Chris got some money from the release of series six and seven of Brittas on DVD, and he’s appearing in the soon-to-be-released movie Back In Business. As for the Hollies, Norman kept us entertained with a rather amusing Barclays advert, and Hattie got her hair cut short.

In fansite news, we mourned the loss of Groovetown and The Red Dwarf Zone, both of which seem to be as dead as a can of spam. But as one website falls, another takes its place, like those skellingtons in Jason and the Argonauts. And this year, Channel 27 and Corridor 159 have been doing sterling work. (Although, Big Blake needs to catch up on the latter…)

It’s been a pretty good year for merchandise too. Especially the gorgeous Mr. Flibble glove puppet and head-knockers, released just in time for Christmas. There’s also been a new calendar, which is the first for a long time. Not forgetting a couple of t-shirts, released right at the start of the year, some rubbish rip-off film cells, and some episodes in a rubbish rip-off format.

There’s no Movie. There’s no Series IX. There’s no fifth novel. But it’s still been a cracking year for Red Dwarf. In a year that’s seen British sci-fi return to our screens with a vengeance, thanks in part to the likes of Mike Tucker and Peter Tyler, there’s been proof that some low-budget sit-com that started nearly 20 years ago is still very much alive and kicking. And 2006 could be even better, with a new magazine, the Series VIII DVD, including a miniature skutter, and rumours abound of new GNP products coming out, just to keep Andrew busy. Not bad for something that had its last series six and a half years ago, eh?

(We would like it put on record that we managed to make it through this entire Christmas message without once making a joke about someone being a bit of a queen, or something about a horrible anus. Merry Christmas, one and all.)

17 Responses to The G&T Christmas Message

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  1. Happy Christmas Ian and John!

    (How do you know Hattie got her hair chopped? I wanna see)

  2. > Chris got some money from the release of series six and seven of Brittas on DVD

    Gotta love that.

    > There’s no Movie. There’s no Series IX. There’s no fifth novel

    Your gonna be saying that for the next 5 years. Or sadly maybe forever. If Rob Grant can’t get his shit together to get Fat released then it’ll be another millenium before we see his follow-up to Backwards.

  3. “There’s no Movie. There’s no Series IX.”

    Let’s pray that after the series VIII DVD release there’ll be no more Dwarf material released ever again, folks! Hope you’re having a great christmas. In the meantime, there’s the remastered series you hope will never see the light of day and the lack of any documentary for series II to accompany them! Here’s hoping, folks!!!!

    RED DWARF IS THE SHITS! SMEHNG!

  4. > (How do you know Hattie got her hair chopped? I wanna see)

    I saw her at the Comedy Store in the summer.

  5. Merry Christmas guys!

    Looking forward to a new year of updates, rants and swearing.

  6. > Let’s pray that after the series VIII DVD release there’ll be no more Dwarf material released ever again

    Ejaculate into your own mouth.

  7. Don’t feed the trolls.

  8. I saw her at the Comedy Store in the summer.

    That picture of her in her younger days, which is above the bar, is utterly lovely. I’d marry that woman tomorrow, if I could.

  9. Sorry to be a complete woman about it but how short is it?

  10. Just above her ears, IIRC. Though, it might be longer six months later, like.

  11. “Sorry to be a complete woman about it but how short is it?”

    How short is what? It’s three months until series VIII is released and that’s about 3 months.

  12. Don’t pretend to be me, man. You’re clearly not.

  13. > A copy of BTL every now and then would be nice as well…

    Apparently Rory is short of material to publish (according to one Lynne Guy who quizzed him on the matter in Birmingham)which is delaying BTL being printed.

    He’s not as versed to just making things up and printing like we did in the old days… !

    Steve

  14. Steve! Nice to see you on here.

  15. If they’re short of material, we’ve always said they can publish any articles from G&T’s back catalogue they like. As long as we get a chance to revise it to, you know, actually make it readable.

    We might even remove the cunts and fucks!

  16. Nice to be here Ian. Although I tend to lurk more than post.

    With BTL submissions, John, it would be easier (trust me on this) if you revised articals first and then sent them to Rory!

    Steve

  17. As I recall, that wasn’t the agreement made – it was more of an informal discussion with James. If they wanted any old articles, they could tell us and we’d revise it.

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