Unabandoned Shop

In amongst all the excitement of Twentica being unleashed to the world, the launch of the brand new Red Dwarf shop has understandably taken a back seat. But on any other day, this would be a huge deal, so let’s take a closer look. The first impression is that the site is functional but attractive. Nice big pictures and prices of everything on offer on the front page, with sub-indexes divided between “clothing” and “accessories”. It’s a bit of a shame, however, that the pictures are quite low-res, and that there’s no option to zoom in to take a closer look at the items you’re expected to pay good money for. There are details you can make out in last week’s TOS update that you can’t actually see on the shop itself!

As for what’s for sale, we have a choice of nine t-shirts (one long-sleeved, one polo, the others regular), all of which are available in S-XXL and presumably intended to be unisex. There’s also two hoodies, a mug, a bag, a poster, a postcard set, a lanyard, a badge set and a keyring. It’s worth noting that none of these things are actually available yet – you can order them all right now, but they’re all listed as shipping in October 2016. Prices are decent, particularly for the clothing, although the lanyard and keyring seem a bit steep at £8 each, before p&p. I placed a massive order earlier, and the shipping cost seemed very reasonable, but I’ve since seen unconfirmed reports that there’s a minimum shipping cost of £5.60 per order, no matter how small.

On the plus side, while we’ll have to wait to inspect the quality of the finished goods before making a declaration on value for money, the designs are consistently good, with a mixture of subtle and blatant branding to suit every need, and great use of the show’s iconography. A handful of the designs appear to make references to specific episodes and characters from Series XI, and it’s strange to see potential spoilers being put out there in this manner, especially as these are all pre-orders anyway – they could have been held back until the episodes in question have been on TV. Aside from anything else, they don’t know yet how the fans will react to these episodes – what if we end up all hating whatever “Captain Bollocks” means?

The single most intriguing item in terms of episode teasers has to be the postcard set. Six photographs feature: two of them are previously released stills (top left, middle left); two were first glimpsed in yesterday’s SFX (middle right, bottom right); and the other two are completely new (top right, bottom left). Again, the image available on the site is irritatingly small, but we can make one assumption: we know that the first still is from Twentica, the third from Give and Take and the fifth from Krysis, so it would make sense if there’s one from each episode, and that they’re presented in order.

In other news, it really is all go in the world of Red Dwarf on the internet – TOS has been redesigned, including a new banner which indicates that it’s now actually called “TOS” for the first time. The basic chassis of the site appears to be the same, but a new stylesheet has provided a simpler, cleaner, more up-to-date look to the content. Navigation is greatly improved, with big friendly blocks in the sidebar of each page, a much more intuitive nav bar at the top, and a rejigged front page, with thumbnails and lists replacing the old image slider, which makes it a lot easier to find updates that are more than a week old, and indeed to notice new content when they post two things at once. Basically, I approve.

And, it has to be said, UKTV Play’s servers coped very well with this morning’s demand. It took us by surprise by being so damned early – the episode was live just after 9am – but it all seemed to go smoothly from where I’m sitting. I’m not hugely enamoured by the picture quality on offer, and it’s a shame that many people’s first experience of the new series will be in inferior quality to how it will appear on TV, but I can confirm that the version on Sky set-top-boxes is HD, and looks pretty close to broadcast quality to my semi-trained-but-admittedly-quite-sleepy eye. Sky Go, on the other hand, looks dogshit, so don’t watch that.

So, if you have watched Twentica on demand, the place to discuss it is right here, and you can be as candid as you like in the comments. If you haven’t watched it yet, you can read the post itself, but don’t venture in to the comments. It’s worth everyone taking a look at our updated spoiler policy, if you haven’t already.

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35 Responses to Unabandoned Shop

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  1. G&T Admin

    In other news-that’s-suitable-for-everyone-regardless-of-whether-they’ve-watched-the-episode-or-not, the audio from Monday’s BAFTA Q&A is now online.

  2. The £5.60 is a bit much for delivery. I’ll wait until the series is over before buying to save on the delivery rather than buy some now and then buy more later as they are released throughout the series.

    I’ve been keeping an eye on the Google Play store and the game isn’t up yet. It was supposed to be out today, wasn’t it?

  3. G&T Admin

    No, that’s next Thursday!

  4. In other news-that’s-suitable-for-everyone-regardless-of-whether-they’ve-watched-the-episode-or-not, the audio from Monday’s BAFTA Q&A is now online.

    Just listened to that, and I’ve got to say that there are a couple of details and references to scenes within that sound – to someone who *has* decided not to watch til next Thursday – a bit spoilery.

  5. I’ve since seen unconfirmed reports that there’s a minimum shipping cost of £5.60 per order, no matter how small.

    After thorough investigation, I have compiled a complete list of shipping prices.*
    Postcards, Lanyard, Badges, Krysis keyring – £2.75 p&p each.
    Totebag, all T-shirts – £3 p&p each.
    Hoodies and Poster – £5.60 p&p each.

    *clicked on a few things

  6. Posters are presumably so much ‘cos they’ll get shipped in one of those tubes, innit.

  7. Is postage combined for multiple items, or is it charged per item?

  8. G&T Admin

    Combined to be as cheap as possible I think – I bought about 14 things in one go, and only paid a tenner or so for shipping.

  9. Oh, that’s OK. I thought it was per item which would be very strange, and also expensive!

  10. I’m rather hoping they release a few more posters but I hope I don’t have to pay £5.60 delivery for each one otherwise I might just buy the one.

  11. Personally i think the merchandise should have been more timeless, i mean clothing with Red Dwarf XI on it will be out of date by next year, it should just have been the logo IMO

    But hey maybe thats the point, the XII t-shirt will be out by next year ;p

  12. I originally questioned the XI branding, but imagine how much cooler it’ll get over time as it becomes more esoteric. Every day I wish I still had my “Red Dwarf VII: Back From The Dead” T-shirt, for example.

    If we’re really lucky after XII they’ll do some classic branded stuff as well.

  13. For the shirt I want, it’s $8.00 to ship, which is not bad for an international order.

  14. The mug’s jumped from £5 to £12, which is quite the uplift.

  15. Really? Wow, that’s harsh.

  16. I think the £5 might have been a mistake, it seemed conspicuously mega-cheap.

    £5 is what I paid in 1997 for my black serif logo mug which I treasured until my mum broke it about six months later. The Slow Dazzle merch was very nice wasn’t it. Loved the calendar that had the free Starbug standee, and they also did the best poster there’s ever been.

  17. God! I forgot about the Starbug standee!

  18. Just had an email. Stock arrives at dispatch warehouse this week. And Ships then shortly.

    Then 3 millions years if you post pod is second class.

  19. I wonder what the story is behind Doug’s evident self-appointment as online customer service operative for this shop? It’s extraordinarily strange to see.

    Have people genuinely not got their deliveries yet? That’s insane, the stuff’s already all half out of date!

  20. https://twitter.com/Thursoloon/status/793846771487244288
    I’m more interested in why that person thought that Doug, rather than the company actually dealing with the merchandise, was the best place to tweet, to be honest. Doug probably wasn’t aware that there were delivery issues, (and that’s not a criticism, he’s been pretty busy), and would of course want to try and resolve any issues… unfortunately he probably isn’t aware just how widespread the problems are, because his very kind offer to help may open the floodgates.

    I have seen A LOT of complaints about lack of deliveries, but so far I’ve not seen reports of deliveries arriving. :-/

  21. G&T Admin

    I’d recommend those that are waiting for orders email CustomerService@sandbaguk.com – they seem to need to be prompted into action. I’ve been informed that it was the Krysis keyring that was causing the delay, but that they’ll now send the rest of my order out asap. God knows how long it would have taken if I hadn’t have got in touch, which isn’t really the way things should work. Also, I know lots of people who are still waiting for orders that *don’t* include the Krysis keyring.

  22. Funny enough I’ve been waiting over three weeks for shipment confirmation from Sandbag for an album I bought. The record label were baffled.

  23. I ordered a t-shirt on behalf of my mum last night. It’s going to make up part of my christmas present. Hopefully there shouldn’t be too much trouble.

  24. Depends which t-shirt…

  25. Starbug Manual.

    Oh shit! That’s my christmas present surprise ruined.

  26. Unfortunately that’s one of the items they’re waiting for stock on (along with Krysis keyrings and also possible the pin badges) and has been holding up orders.

  27. Oh well. It’s my birthday in January, it’ll have to wait.

  28. Hoorah my badges and exponoid T shirt have shipped.
    And the new Madness album is 5 in the charts. (2 on vinyl)
    Its a good day to be Jonsmad.

  29. Huzzah. All aboard the Nutty Dwarf.

  30. My order apparently shipped on October 21st, but then I only got the poster. I don’t have it yet, but considering that it was my Brexit purchase to take advantage of the low pound versus the Canadian dollar, I will give them some time to ship it across an ocean and a continent.

  31. Huzzah. All aboard the Nutty Dwarf.

    Driving In My Carbug
    Smeggy Trousers
    The Return Of The Los Palmas VII
    Uncle Frank
    Bed And I’ll Be Back For Breakfast Man
    Yesterday’s Chen
    Embarrassment (Theme From Pete)
    The (Hud)Sun (Ten) And The (Nirvanah C)Rain
    Something About A Cloche
    Please Send Help

  32. ^Excellent.

  33. Voorhese (In the middle of our street)
    The Last Grey Day
    Kinatowowi Are London
    Pac-A-Mac McDonald
    Black And Blue Midget
    Tomorrow’s Dr-emohawk
    La Luna City Seven

    Okay, I’m done.

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