The Insult List

Do you have trouble coming up with a witty retort? Are you a disgusting, rotting, fetid piece of congealed monkey vomit? Or even a putrid, amphibious gill-breather with less brains than a mollusc? Do you like it when they say ‘smeg’? Then have a look at The Insult List – an utterly comprehensive list of all the put-downs and criticisms used in the 52 episodes of Red Dwarf. Go on, don’t be a neurotic, under-achieving emotional retard!

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But it’s the middle of the night! G&T’s on downtime!

Yes, it’s true. We’re leaving you. We hate you all, so we’re shutting the site down. We are, however, re-opening it shortly afterwards. The site will be down from 21:00 on Thursday 4th September until 04:00 on Friday the 5th. And we expect you all to hang around until four o’clock in the morning, frantically hitting the refresh button, awaiting the return of your favourite site. What is more likely, however, is that you won’t even notice we’re gone. You set of bastards.

The reason for this downtime is simple: the fabled relaunch we’ve been promising for a while. Relax, gentlemen, you are quite safe…

Rob Grant’s Incompetence

No, I’m not talking about Dark Ages!!!!!1 This is Rob Grant’s latest novel, which is not due for release until December. However, under the cover of Darkness (I disguised myself by dressing as Justin Hawkins), I managed to break into Rob’s house, being careful not to disturb Doug’s snoozing, satisfied wife, and swipe a proof copy for myself. Okay, I bought it on eBay. It was much easier that way. Anyway, the upshot of all of these exploits is this: a preview. Rest assured, there are no major spoilers, so you are safe to dive in willy-nilly.

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