Orange Crouchless Panties

“Married life comes under the spotlight in BBC ONE’s new late night comedy showcasing the best of black British talent. Brace yourself for The Crouches!” So says the BBC press release about the new Autumn season on BBC ONE. And in the Press Pack (1.32 MB, PDF) it has a section on The Crouches; the upcoming new sitcom with a certain Danny John-Jules in the cast. In case you can’t be arsed downloading it, the following info is given:

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Rob Grant does some fucking work

Or, rather, has been fucking working. With all the fuss about the upcoming movie and DVD releases, it’s easy to forget that Rob is trucking along doing his own completely-non-Dwarf-related things (although we haven’t forgotten that he did at one point promise a sequel to Backwards…) And that at the moment happens to be books. First off is Incompetence, slated for release on the 31st December. Thank Back In The Redfor reminding us all; it had been mentioned on various Dwarf sites a while back as Matt says, but everyone seemed to have forgotten about it. Including us. See BITR or Amazon for the synopsis; it sounds worryingly like an excuse for a load of pointless misguided PC-bashing, but surely Grant wouldn’t subject us to that?

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The Empire Strikes Back

Yes, the shite puns have returned! And it’s all in celebration of Series One of The Brittas Empire being released on DVD this week! I was hoping it would come earlier, but Royal Mail are INEPT, but nevertheless, I have written a (slightly late) review, and updated the Episode Guidewith the full guest cast for Series One.

As well as this, we’ve also got a guide to the Red Dwarf A-Z, as we were getting a tad bored of writing about Series I. Plus, this helps with our goal to have something about every single DVD extra!

In other news, The Red Dwarf Zone has updated with what they say is a new, larger picture of the Series III DVD Cover. However, the BBC logo is too far into the corner, when compared to Series I and II, the two-disc set logo is extraordinarily shabby, the ‘bonus material’ blurb is in the wrong font, the edges of the Rimmer/Lister picture are appallingly edited, the old BBFC logo is used (they changed to a new set at the beginning of this year) and a PG certificate has been given, despite Marooned being classified as a ’12’. Other than that, it looks fine. I would discredit it as a fake, but the version on the UK Shop has these same problems. I would guess that this pic is merely a larger version of this same early draft. The White Hole has also been updated, with some new content, some very bad news, and some excellent praise for us! Ta, Cappsy!

The next update will be on Sunday. This is due to two things: the final of Big Brother tomorow, and the Memorabilia fair on Saturday. Both John and I will be there, so expect a full report soon!

Actual Movie News (Updated)

No clever headline today – let’s get straight to the facts, as movie news has been preciously thin on the ground as of late. Friend of the website Karl Eisenhauer sent us a link to an article entitled Dwarf film in orbit, from the Herald Sun – which is Australia’s biggest-selling daily newspaper, apparently. In which case you’d think they’d have enough resources to be able to tell the difference between a Doug Naylor and a Dave Naylor. But no matter – the point is that that the movie may be shot in Queensland, according to the Pacific Film and Television Commission; indeed, they have confirmed that he has been scouting there for locations. Whoever he is. Was that Dick Naylor? Etc.

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Ian’s Newsround – Reminisces of a genius

What do you do when you’ve just made the second biggest selling BBC DVD of 2002? Why, you try and make sure the next batch are the biggest selling, of course! This is what GNP are doing right now, and once again, they’ve listened to the fans and are giving us exactly what we want. The lovely people at the official site have posted another DVD update – which is an excellent way of whetting our appetites while we wait for November 3rd. The extra which, for us, epitomises GNP’s policy of giving the fans what we want is Building A Better Universe– the tribute to Mel Bibby. When the tribute was announced, we were expecting a brief montage and a caption. A full-length feature, featuring memories and obituaries from his former colleagues, is more than we could have dreamed of.

Also included in the mammoth update-o-detail are the titles of the documentaries – All Change and Built to Last. I’m sure you’ll agree that these capture the goal of each series perfectly. The length of the documentaries has been shortened – they’ll now be 75-80 minutes in length, not 90. Apart from ruining our football analogy, this doesn’t matter at all. The documentaries are still huge, and all the deleted info will be included in the booklet. Following on from Play‘s revelation that the Series III musical featurette will be based on food, the Series IV theme has been announced as Lurve. Another chance to see Lister snogging various GELFs, set to Je T’aime, or something. Finally on the DVD-front this week, Backwards-Forwards, (which, incidentally, has been renamed twice), is to be seperated into a whopping twelves chapters. Good-oh.

The official site also carries an excellent interview with Chris Barrie this week, in preparation for Monday’s release of The Brittas Empire on DVD. Chris reveals how he was the joker on the set, how Fegen and Norris left and how he felt about the new writers. Also, the new Better Than Life is supposed to be out now, but I haven’t got my fucking copy yet. Bring back Nic Farey – he was never this late. Quite alarmingly, the front cover of BTL features Mike Tucker wearing friend of the website Karl Eisenhauer’s deerstalker. Gentlemen, we have created history.

In other news, we’ve updated the DVD and Movie FAQ, in response to yesterday’s news story. Our next update will be on Monday, and will feature, amongst other things, a bloody big argument. We at G&T command you to vote for Cameron, Scott and Steph to win Big Brother. We really hate potential-rapist Ray.

Best. Update. Evur?

We’re not the type to blow our own trumpet, but in this instance the trumpet is particularly long and shiny. The other day, thanks to the wonders of eBay, I managed to buy the original shooting script for The Inquisitor. I’m sure you’ll all concur when I say: “HOLY FUCKING TWATS!” Anyhoo, the upshot is this: “A page planted by non-believers to test our faith”. It provides a lovely preview for the Series V DVDs…

As if that wasn’t enough, we also have three more gorgeous chunks of loveliness for you. Firstly, an article all about the Series II Deleted Scenes. Anyone who is wondering why it took us so long to upload that, can fuck off. We’ve also got a review of Dark Ages, as we felt it deserved a re-appraisal. Hmm. Finally, Stephen Fletcher has very kindly contributed a review of The End. Remember, we’re always looking to publish your thoughts, so get writing.

Preorder-me-do!

Yes, Play.com have now got Red Dwarf IIIlisted, and avaliable to preorder for the frankly ludicrous price of £14.99 including delivery. Blimey. They have also been known to deliver DVDs a couple of days before the official release date, so if you fancy a chance of getting it over the weekend rather than waiting until Monday (the official release date is the 3rd November), I advise you go with them.

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Dr. Graham told me everything

It’s Chris Barrie who plays the man, you know. As you’ve probably guessed, we’ve added a load of Confidence and Paranoia stuff to the Episodes section – reviews, scene summary and supporting characters. The actual capsules for this episode and Waiting For Godwill follow shortly. Before you mention it, only two updates this week is shoddy. But it’s the summer holidays now! Plus, a new system which will allow us to post much more news is in development…

The official site reports that the BBC TWO repeats have been postponed for a fortnight. Fourteen days. Two weeks. Absolutely-dutely. This is shite, obviously. The repeats have instigated massive discussions on various internet fora, which has got to be good for the show. The official site also has an article about the use of food in the show, which is, as ever, marvellous. Once again, The Red Dwarf Zone has beaten us to a couple of newsworthy pieces – ‘smeg’ has been placed at #15 in a list of best sit-com catchphrases, and Amazon have listed the Series IV DVD. Spot the huge mistake in their listing – I certainly won’t be ordering from them.

Thanks to Groovetown‘s Rick Mason for pointing out a spelling mistake in our previous update. Ironically, it was in a sentence about us correct spelling errors elsewhere on the site. Thanks, Rick, you little cnut. In other news – GET THE TICKLE! Jon is back in the Big Brother house! In your face, Leigh Loveday!