Auntie’s Woofers

Bah. The BBC are FORCING us to purchase their latest ‘Greatest Comedy Moments’ collection, which was released on Monday (see how up to date we are?). They’ve teasingly placed a picture of Rimmer, c. Series I, on the front. According to Blackstar, the DVD features “Red Dwarf’s Kryten as he painfully tries to learn to lie”. A scene that doesn’t involve Rimmer, particularly not in his Series I uniform, there. Still, it’s not like the BBC to feature the wrong publicity photos on a DVD. (SATIRE) Unless, of course, there’s another RD clip. I’ll find out when I buy it, which will be when I get paid.

Meanwhile, Robert Llewellyn’s WomanWizard DVD arrived this morning, so I’ve written a review of that. Also included in the package was a little note from Rob, in which he reveals he is “presently planning a new DVD, to promote an even better software package called iSpin. The idea behind this product is that in an ever increasing world of confusion, we need help in developing rapid political opinions on any subject. iSpin will give you a one click opinion solution.” Sounds promising; Robert is officially a workaholic.

Oh, and I’ve finally done the Norman Lovett review. What a bastard I am.

Crime Traveller II

Here’s a few quick links to details of the Crime Traveller IIDVD (which contains the second half of the first and only series), which is to be released on the 26th May:

BBFC Entry – Sins of the Father
BBFC Entry – Death Minister
BBFC Entry – The Lottery Experiment
BBFC Entry – The Broken Crystal
Blackstar listing
Play listing

The extras just aren’t worth bothering with – biographies of Michael French, Chloe Annett, Sue Johnston, Paul Trussell, and creator Anthony Horowitz, episode synopsis, and the ultimate in pointlessness – a trailer for the Crime Traveller One DVD. Are you seriously telling me the BBC didn’t trail this series, and they couldn’t have dug up a couple of original broadcast ones? Anyway, we’ll have a review of this at some point – meanwhile, you can read our review of the first Crime Traveller DVD. Both releases are also avaliable on VHS.

In actual Dwarf news, Jonathan Capps has got in contact with us to mention that Red Dwarf will feature in The Sitcom Story (Dawn French’s series detailing the history of the sitcom), also on Monday 26th May, at 10:55pm on BBC ONE. Apparently, it will feature a new interview with Craig Charles, so it’ll be well worth watching. Many thanks to Jonathan for this, and we’ll bring you all a report on it when it’s broadcast.

Not a major update today – just a Scene Summary for Balance of Power. Ian will have his review of the Norman Lovett gig tomorrow, the bastard.

G&T messes up

Guess what was on yesterday? Something that we announced ages ago? Chris Barrie, driving the car of his dreams, on Top Gear? Something that not only did we forget to remind you lot that it was on, but completely forgot to watch ourselves? Gah. Anyway, the episode is repeated on UK Horizons in a few weeks – we’ll catch it then, and make sure we warn you lot about it as well. Thanks to Peter Naulls, aka Chocky, for the info. Expect a new section to be added to G&T next month, similar to the official site’s Dwarf Tracker, but also containing details of guest appearances on various shows by the cast. And whatever you do, don’t go back and see how we took the piss out of that website for mentioning Chris Berry, after our latest mistake. It’s too painful.

Onto today’s updates. The capsule for Balance of Power is now online. And an article has been added to the Movie section – Model Behaviour, possibly the dodgiest name for an article we’ve come up with, which is an opinion piece detailing our reaction to the revelation that the movie will use a varient of the Re-mastered version of Red Dwarf. Get in contact if you disagree – we’d like to know what you think, as that’s part of the point of being ridiculously opinionated and offensive.

More stuff tomorrow. Oh, and according to Ian, Norman Lovett is “a genius”. Expect his report in the next couple of days. He’s still a bastard.

“The best future echo is in fact the episode itself”

A very short update today, but a good one. Friend of the website Karl Eisenhauer has written two reviews for us – one on The End, and one for Future Echoes. They are excellent, and well worth a read.

Tomorrow’s update should be well worth a look; following the revelation that Movie will use a variation of the Re-mastered version of Red Dwarf, we take a look at how effective the model shots in Red Dwarf have been over the years. Plus, hopefully, the Balance of Power capsule, and (finally) another book review. We really do spoil you.

Ian’s Newsround – Fucking Horrid Models

I’m sorry, but I’m absolutely livid about this. Comet Miniatures have listed two Corgi models, of Red Dwarf and Starbug. Both are due in September 2003, and both are the ‘Movie Version’. The minis themselves aren’t bad – I’ve always wanted a little Starbug, and they’re only a fiver each. The problem here is that it seems that the Movie will use a new version of the ship – similar to the Re-Mastered version, but even flatter. It looks shite, frankly. They’ve even made the front scoop much shorter, so it resembles a giant pencil more than ever before. John and I were both thrilled when we read that physical model shots would be used in the movie, but we wrongly assumed this would mean a return to the ship of Series I-V, which was really good. But no – like Series VIII, Red Dwarf is going to look fucking ugly. FUME!

Meanwhile, over on the official site, (which, incidentally, is yet to acknowledge these models, or the planned Java game), Andrew Ellard has written an excellent article about the use of Time as a plot device in the series. It’s full of Andrew’s pet theories, and makes a cracking read. Deck 5 is clearly the best part of the official site – holding Time Hole and Down Time, as well as links to the Mr. Flibble and news archives. Marvellous. The main news on the official site is about the cast DVDs, The Brittas Empire and WomanWizard, the progress of which have been reported here this week. This proves that Ganymede & Titan is better that the official site. Actually, come to think of it, it proves fuck all. Oh well.

As John mentioned yesterday, I’m off to see Norman Lovett later. Yippee! Expect a full report in the coming week.

Downloads Section Launched

Well, you try and think up amusing headlines every bloody day. Yes, the Downloads section is now online. It’s rather sparse at the moment – just one desktop background, but we’ll keep adding to it. For those of you awaiting our Balance of Power Episodessection, we’ll upload it this Sunday.

As it’s Friday, as usual the official site has been updated. Expect Ian’s Newsround tomorrow as usual. He is also going to the Norman Lovett gig in Birmingham as well. What a bastard.

Hatt’s Amazing!

Continuing our controversial theme of actually adding content when we update, we bring you this: an article all about Hattie Hayridge. Hattie is a lovely woman, and an extremely talented comedian. It seems a shame that she is so often overlooked by fans, so we aim to rectify this.

Fear not – we’ve also got some Brittas news! We spotted some menu shots on The R2 Project. The main menus on both discs contain a ‘Play All’ function. This suggests rather strongly that the series itself will be split onto two discs, rather than having the episodes on one disc and the extras on another. This is a baffling move. As my esteemed colleague said yesterday, Brittas’s master tapes should be in pretty good condition (like Red Dwarf, and unlike most Dr. Who releases). I can’t see a reason why it is necessary to limit each disc to one and a half hours. Also, the Extras menu suggests that no more extras will be added, although this is probably to do with the lack of footage availiable from the BBC. It’s the same with Red Dwarf – hardly anything exists from the early days. We can’t blame Eureka Video for this – they’re good guys, with a good track record. We’re grateful to them for releasing one of our favourite series onto shiny discs, and for their co-operation in our correspondance with them.

Go on, Orson!

Oh dear. It’s been a while since we had any new articles. Luckily, we can rectify this today, with an in-depth look at the Series I Deleted Scenes– including transcripts, and our opinions on them. Expect one on Series II’s to show up in the next few days.

In Brittas news, Play have got the Brittas DVD listed, and it includes one feature not mentioned elsewhere – a Trailer for Series 2. Presumably, (and I must stress that this is merely an educated guess), this means the DVD of Series 2, which is great news, as it means there are definite plans for further releases. On the negative side, trailers for DVDs are this: shit. There’s no point to them. However, the fact that this extra has been added recently, plus the fact that the series is on two discs, brings up the possibility that there might be more extras forthcoming on this release. After all, we’re talking about good quality 1991 videotape here, not manky footage that needs a ridiculously high bitrate to keep the quality up. Anyway, we can but hope. (It’s always possible that this trailer is one broadcast by the BBC for the second series; it’s a pity things aren’t labelled a bit more clearly.)

In Howard Goodall related news, NOTBBC’s forums have got a report from Brig Bother on last night’s recording of episode 2 of QI – a panel game hosted by Stephen Fry. Howard Goodall was one of the guests, and the show sounds marvellous.

Finally, some actual Dwarf related news – friend of the webside Karl Eisenhauer has spotted a little nugget of interest in this jumble of information. So you don’t have to go through the garbage, it states:

Blue Beck is a leading developer, exhibiting on the UK State of Play Pavilion. A superb series of Java games, covering several different genres, comprise a catalogue now being eagerly investigated by a range of clients. In addition the company is now developing a number of original J2ME games all related to prime licences. Baywatch, Red Dwarf plus others which cannot be mentioned yet for legal reasons.

It’s extremely vague, but a Red Dwarf game is what many fans have been wanting for ages – could this be the start of something good? And more to the point, where does Karl find all this? He is magic.

Tomorrow’s update will include yet another new section added to G&T, despite the fact that we’ve hardly got anywhere with the existing sections yet. Hooray!

Craig Charles Fisticuffs News

Bleh. Articles, you say? Up today? Fuck off, I’ve been sleeping. Ahem. Luckily, Ian caught the following in the Daily Mirror, so here’s some “excellent” news. As it’s from the Mirror, I’d take it with a pinch of salt, though; even the article itself says that it isn’t confirmed.

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WomanWizard Released

Good news, everyone! “I am very excited”, Robert tells us (and specifically us, definitely not his mailing list which is open to anyone, honest.) “One of my biggest ambitions has finally been achieved. Bypassing the multi national companies, the TV stations, the media machine that governs what we see, I have struck out alone with a new project. Over at www.llew.co.uk the DVD of my recent one man show is finally released.”

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