Only The Good Is Alright

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This topic contains 188 replies, has 20 voices, and was last updated by  Ben Saunders 6 hours, 38 minutes ago.

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  • #225201

    Ben Saunders

    …but in the mirror universe, does Rimmer have an enormous cock, or a fanny? When I was young I assumed it was a fanny, but now I’m older I’m thinking enormous cock.

    #225202

    bloodteller

    in the mirror universe, shouldn’t Rimmer have become a black female mechanoid called remmiR? since it’s meant to be a universe where everything turns opposite, after all.

    by that logic, Red Dwarf would be blue and also not in space but on land. a landship.

    (to answer the question, yes his cock is huge)

    #225210

    quinn_drummer

    I always assumed it was lady bits too. Bet then he doesn’t have tits so who knows.

    #225211

    quinn_drummer

    I always assumed it was lady bits too. Bet then he doesn’t have tits so who knows.

    #225212

    Ben Saunders

    My nine-or-whatever-year-old self didn’t know that differently sized penises/anxiety thereof was a thing, so defaulted to “the opposite of a willy is a vagina”, and laughed at the joke anyway.

    It doesn’t matter in the slightest, but if I ever see Doug Naylor I’ll be sure to ask him.

    Shouldn’t a mirror universe not exist, because ours exists? Etc

    #225216

    International Debris

    Only the Good definitely isn’t alright.

    #225218

    Lily

    It never occurred to me that it would be anything other than a massive cock.

    How many other dick jokes went over nine-year-old you’s head? Bodyswap and double polaroid spring to mind for a start.

    #225219

    bloodteller

    i still don’t quite understand the dick joke in Bodyswap

    #225220

    bloodteller

    what was in Lister’s pants that shocked Rimmer so much?

    #225221

    GlenTokyo

    A big dick because Rimmer has never seen one.

    #225222

    Pete Part Three

    I think we debated this fairly recently.

    Huge cock / manky cock

    #225223

    Lily

    I think we debated this fairly recently.

    Huge cock / manky cock

    I’d go for huge cock. The manky hygiene jokes are in the following shower scene.

    #225224

    Hamish

    Giant death worm.

    #225225

    Ben Saunders

    With the hindsight of Only The Good, I now assume Lister has an enormous penis (compared to Rimmer, anyway), but when I was young idk what the fuck I thought it was. A manky piss colour, I should think.

    The double polaroid definitely went over my head. Even now, how enormous must Kryten’s cock be for it to take up two pictures, and how strange does it look that it isn’t immediately obvious what the photograph is of from just one of them?

    Do all the Red Dwarf crew members have really strange cocks? Cat’s would be barbed, right?

    #225227

    quinn_drummer

    > what was in Lister’s pants that shocked Rimmer so much?

    I always thought this was his urine being green … he sees it, is shocked, then tells Lister it isn’t right.

    #225228

    Pete Part Three

    >Even now, how enormous must Kryten’s cock be for it to take up two pictures

    These cocks are far away.

    #225230

    Hamish

    > Do all the Red Dwarf crew members have really strange cocks? Cat’s would be barbed, right?

    Someone has obviously not read Backwards…

    #225233

    Ben Saunders

    I’m working on it mate I’ll have it read by 2020

    #225237

    bloodteller

    does kochanski have a big penis in the mirror universe?

    #225238

    GlenTokyo

    does kochanski have a big penis in the mirror universe?

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/354/018/b57.gif

    #225244

    Ben Saunders

    This just in: The Series VIII deleted scenes confirm that Rimmer does, indeed, have a gargantuan knob

    #225248

    bloodteller

    but what about kochanski

    #225250

    Lily

    >The double polaroid definitely went over my head. Even now, how enormous must Kryten’s cock be for it to take up two pictures, and how strange does it look that it isn’t immediately obvious what the photograph is of from just one of them?

    Men are generally -really- bad at taking photos of their dicks. Too close up, over-exposed, bad angles. If he’s holding the camera so close that he needs a double polaroid, it’s just going to look like a random veiny body part. Trust me on this one.

    #225254

    Jawscvmcdia

    Lily, may I ask, presuming you are a girl, how do you know this?

    #225256

    Rubber

    My experience of photographing my own dick is that it’s difficult for me to get the angle right.

    #225257

    Ben Saunders

    It’s really easy if you’re lying down.

    #225262

    KyoSo

    does Rimmer have an enormous cock, or a fanny?

    Technically, having a pair of buttocks on the front would ALSO count as opposite, so the question still holds if you go by the American meaning of “fanny”.

    I’d love to see how the BBFC deals with the fact that we use it as a harmless child-friendly word for bum.

    #225263

    Dave

    Well, they used to happily show “The Nanny” on TV before the watershed over here.

    #225267

    flanl3

    Well, Kryten was laying down the entire time in DNA, and if the underwear elastic went “across the room” then I’d absolutely go for it being monster and not just a bad photograph. Maybe the first one looked more like a picture from Rimmer’s telegraph pole collection, and the second one more like the front cover from “In Search of the Far Side”.

    #225268

    flanl3

    Oh, and in Bodyswap, that’s the face of being shocked at the size, not disgusted by poor hygiene. That would be a completely different face.

    #225269

    flanl3

    Also, in Only the Good…, in the mirror universe faces and genitals could also swap since they’re opposites, and it “just so happens” that the censor bar they’ve put over Rimmer’s genitals looks exactly like his face (and with everybody else), and in face when he lifts the covers under there is his face looking at a willy (or maybe twat) looking back at him from off his head. Gives a whole new meaning to Belgian kissing doesn’t it? Then again, one could also make the argument that raping your sister in public whenever you see her is standard reaction in an opposite universe. Also, does she really mean it when she’s disgusted? If it’s opposite, then maybe what she says is the opposite of what she means? Also, why would he be in bed to rest when he should be exercising by running on a treadmill on the roof to rest? And why isn’t every color inverted? And why are they in space when they should be in a Jeep? And why aren’t there 961,1 people instead? And why does Rimmer drink through his genitals and not with his face? And why doesn’t he have legs where his arms should be and buttocks on his chest and an anus in the back of his neck? And why wasn’t everybody dead?

    #225270

    flanl3

    Good night, everyone.

    #225271

    Pete Part Three

    Only The Good is a brilliantly, meta deconstructionist piece of television as it’s the complete opposite of what Red Dwarf should be.

    #225272

    KyoSo

    As a kid I always interpreted that line as “underpants-o-lastic”, as if it was some strange term he made up for stretchy underwear.

    #225273

    Rubber

    The thing I always hated the most was the ellipsis in the title. When did Red Dwarf become a programme with terrible little cliche sitcom/Casualty-style episode titles based around bits of well-worn phrases and adages? Plus it totally fucked up the alignment of the lists of episode titles I used to enjoy making as a kid. YOU WERE ALL THE SAME, shut up.

    #225277

    Ben Saunders

    Hollister has a massive cock too if Pete is to be believed. Stopping a lift door from closing when you aren’t catching a lift etc.

    #225280

    bloodteller

    why oh why didn’t they just call it “Mirror/rorriM” like it was originally called? that’s a much better title than “Only the Good…”

    also, what the FUCK does ‘only the good die young’ even mean? it sounds like a song title

    #225282

    bloodteller

    rimmer’s not even particularly young

    #225283

    Ben Saunders

    It’s a saying, innit. And Rimmer is supposed to be the she he was in Series I, which is……………

    #225284

    Ben Saunders

    The age*, he’s not trans

    #225287

    bloodteller

    still not that young though, is he? he’s around 30-something

    #225288

    Plastic Percy

    For the record, it is a song by Billy Joel. There’s also an Iron Maiden song of the same title.

    I always took Rimmer’s use of it to mean that only the good die young sacrificing themselves in a heroic, noble manner. But complete cowardly custard gits and connivers like him would put self preservation above everything.

    #225289

    Lily

    Bit older than Billy Joel.

    “He whom the gods love dies young” Menander, greek playright, 300BC

    The gods loving the talented, virtuous, heroic ‘good’ and wanted those mortals with them in the afterlife so took them young.

    #225296

    Me Own Stunts

    Only the Good is not alright. It is deeply shit.

    /thread

    #225300

    Ben Saunders

    It’s a series of skits and the mirror universe thing comes out of nowhere, but at the end of Series VIII I’m just glad to have a couple of laughs

    #225301

    International Debris

    There are laughs in Only the Good…?

    #225302

    Ben Saunders

    A few, yeah.

    Funniest thing about it though is the cast pissing themselves laughing at Ackerman’s “super suck” on the commentary, though

    #225306

    bloodteller

    i might’ve liked Only The Good… if it were executed better. as it stands, it’s way too focused on stuff like Talia (who IS she?) and the escalating pranks shit, wheras it really should have had more of a focus on the Dwarfers’ actual escape from prison and the Mirror Universe.

    #225307

    bloodteller

    for the 3 episodes of setup it took to actually get them INTO prison, it felt like such a copout for it to just jumpcut to them smashing open an airvent and crawling out.

    #225308

    Plastic Percy

    I’m not in love with VIII, but I thought it would have been a better use of it’s time if we’d had Back in the Red as one episode (extended or not) and then the next seven being a mix of Canary missions and Porridge-esque prison scams.

    #225309

    Dax101

    Just think if Doug had his way originally Red Dwarf would have ended with Series 8 with the crew getting back to earth in that kinda VIII shinanigans sort of way.

    Can only imagine that would have either stopped BTE to XII being made or it wouldn’t have and Doug would have ignored or made up some parallel universe excuse to allow the show to keep going.

    After all its not like he cares all that much about the ending of Only the Good.

    #225310

    bloodteller

    >I’m not in love with VIII, but I thought it would have been a better use of it’s time if we’d had Back in the Red as one episode (extended or not) and then the next seven being a mix of Canary missions and Porridge-esque prison scams.

    THIS. so much time is spent in Back In The Red setting up the whole prison ordeal, and it only ends up lasting for 4 and 1/2 episodes- it ends up feeling like a waste of time.

    #225311

    bloodteller

    >Just think if Doug had his way originally Red Dwarf would have ended with Series 8 with the crew getting back to earth in that kinda VIII shinanigans sort of way.

    checked in the scriptbook and yeah, they were going to get back to Earth by using “the antimatter generator found in the Mirror Universe” which is a bit of a weak way for them to get home tbh.

    wait a minute, was the line in Back In The Red Part 1 about the ship now having an “antimatter generator” supposed to foreshadow the “Earth” episode? i suppose them mentioning it beforehand would’ve made it feel slightly less shoehorned in, but either way what would a mining ship need antimatter generation for?

    #225332

    Ben Saunders

    Watching Only The Good and then immediately watching Back to Earth made me realise they use extremely similar plot points – in both, the Dwarfers invent some fucking gun out of thin air that allows them to travel between dimensions. At least in BtE, we have a smart sciencey person invent it, and we’re given a lovely montage of Sophie Winkleman being smoking and building it.

    (and it’s not real)

    #225337

    GlenTokyo

    To be fair, Katerina is supposedly a science officer of the crew, so would have been present in Only the Good too, along with a lot of other intelligent people you’d assume.

    I always thought that if you’d gone with the crew, all the ships, intelligent people and supplies, they would have got back to Earth pretty quick sharpish. They also had the good Holly. If the shit one can make the hop drive, the good one could probably get them back to Earth and probably even to the correct time period with a bit of wibbly space thing assistance, or another time drive from a derelict.

    #225338

    KyoSo

    and we’re given a lovely montage of Sophie Winkleman being smoking and building it.

    I’m pretty sure that was a fog machine.

    #225339

    Ben Saunders

    The vibe I got from the crew in VIII was everybody was far too concerned with “how the hell did we get here” as opposed to “how the hell do we get back”, like it never occurred to them to try and return because they were all too preoccupied with being confused.

    And nah, you don’t need a smoke machine when you have Sophia Winkleman on your set

    #225340

    Ben Saunders

    Good Holly didn’t have three million years of boredom that led him to tinkering with dimension jump technology to pass the time

    #225341

    quinn_drummer

    The other thing BTE has going for it is that they don’t actually invent anything or go anywhere

    #225344

    GlenTokyo

    Possibly, but considering in later series space is basically the middle aisle of Aldi, they’d have picked up a time drive or dimension ripper or Supralight FTL drive or something that would have them back.

    I always thought that conversation between Hollister and Newton showed Hollister in a good light, as though they’re on it and they’ll have possible solutions soon, which is contradicted unfortunately later on, of all the series VIII issues, Dennis the donut boy annoys me more than most.

    #225350

    Ben Saunders

    They go on a metaphysical odyssey, quinn

    I don’t really see anything wrong with Donut Boy but I feel like everyone else on the entire planet does

    You could go from Donut Boy to Good Captain if you tried hard enough, one doesn’t disallow the other

    #225351

    Ben Saunders

    When I say I don’t see anything, I understand why people think it undermines the character

    #225353

    International Debris

    I’m not very fond of Comedy Hollister in general – in the first two series, he’s played straight, which allows humour to happen around him, without compromising the fact that he’s meant to be captain of a massive fucking spaceship.

    #225354

    Jawscvmcdia

    TWO MONTHS IN THE HOLE!

    #225355

    bloodteller

    to be fair you don’t see much of him in the first 2 seasons, maybe he was eating donuts while we weren’t looking

    #225356

    GlenTokyo

    Yeah you could do a good job having got there in the wrong way, there are people practicing law and even medicine that are perfectly good at it until it’s found out they never passes their exams or something, and maybe the situation they’re in would bring something out of him and he’d be immense in a time of crisis, but it’s just a bit unnecessary to turn every character into a comedy one. In Series VIII when you have Ackerman as the ridiculous authority figure can’t Hollister just be the captain? It can still be funny, the chicken costume was funny, probably more funny because the character has been established as competent and respected so it’s unexpected.

    It’s nice to have a serious character to act as a bit of a threat or pallet cleanser.

    #225358

    GlenTokyo

    *Passed *Palate

    If somebody would clean my pallets though I’d appreciate it.

    #225363

    flanl3

    Could somebody clean up my pellets please?

    #225419

    Captain Bollocks

    But she wasn’t real, so she wouldn’t have been there. Unless they managed to hallucinate someone they’d never met but who did actually exist, which would be next level weird.

    More pressingly, the question remains; If she *was* real and had crossed over through the mirror universe, would she have had a big fat throbber of a cock? Even though the men were clearly still men and the women were clearly still women?

    #225420

    Captain Bollocks

    Well, I fucked up that attempt at quoting.

    #225441

    flanl3

    Well, I fucked up that attempt at quoting.

    I mean, who hasn’t, though?

    #225442

    Ben Saunders

    Resorting to >meme arrows seems to be the way to go

    #225445

    flanl3

    Resorting to >meme arrows seems to be the way to go

    #225447

    Dave

    Resorting to

    meme

    arrows seems to be the way to go

    #225449

    Lily

    Show off.

    #225450

    flanl3

    Resorting

    to

    >meme

    arrows

    seems

    to

    be

    the

    way

    to

    go

    #225453

    Dave

    Not as easy as it looks, is it.

    #225474

    bloodteller

    so… is Only The Good alright?

    #225478

    Ben Saunders

    For Series VIII yeah

    #225479

    bloodteller

    i do quite like the metal-eating virus appearing at the start of the episode and then finally coming into play towards the end, that was quite clever.

    but then again, Justice already did that much better

    #225482

    Ben Saunders

    Tfw basic plot setup and payoff is described as “clever” in Series VIII – that’s how bad it is

    #225485

    International Debris

    It’s not much of a payoff, either. Virus lands on ship. Virus starts destroying ship. No conclusion.

    #225488

    Ben Saunders

    I take it you haven’t seen Season XI

    #225489

    Ben Saunders

    Season IX, I mean. Pesky Roman numerals.

    #225493

    bloodteller

    there’s a lot of bloody captions in Only The Good, isn’t there? “Six Hours Later”, then ” Five Minutes Shhhlater” then “Two Hours Later”. whatever happened to using model shots to show passage of time? captions feel very unlike Red Dwarf tbh

    #225495

    Dave

    Season IX, I mean.

    What is this ‘season IX’ you speak of?

    #225497

    GlenTokyo

    Watched the deleted scenes for VIII recently due in part to this thread. To be honest, I have never wanted to see more of VIII so didn’t bother in 2005 or whenever it came out, or any year since, but I have to say with a few reshoots of the cesiumfrankolithicmixyalibidiumruxydixydoxydexydroxide bits from Chloë and Robert, the ending where Rimmer is a twat and leaves the crew to find their own way is miles better. Obviously it’s a bit heartless but compared to the one we got I think it’s funnier and more in universe than having the grim reaper appear.

    #225502

    bloodteller

    yeah the original ending is a lot better, it also serves as a nice conclusion to Series VIII- the dwarfers are out of prison at last, they’ve once again got the ship to themselves and the revived crew are left behind. it ties up all the loose ends.

    in the ending with the grim reaper, the revived crew just exit the narrative as soon as the microbe shows up, the dwarfers just exit the narrative when rimmer comes back to the decaying ship (why did they disappear?) and nothing is concluded.

    i think even on the VIII Documentary, doug addresses that the original ending worked a lot better “but for some reason, we went past that and did the second ending which truly didn’t work”

    #225503

    International Debris

    I’m really glad Doug’s moved on from cliffhanger endings to season closers, as none of them worked. I know the ending of Out of Time is dramatic, but I’d love to see a version of VII that didn’t have to cope with it.

    #225565

    Rubber

    General series VIII question: when they’re in prison, there are often these scene-setting prison ‘exterior shots’ – or at least that’s what I assume they are. An orangey capsule thing in the foreground with a turquoise-grey background which looks like dozens and dozens of floors/balconies with little dots of light scattered over it. I could never work out what the fuck any of it was supposed to be, from which angle we were viewing it and to what scale. Anyone?

    #225566

    Ben Saunders

    The Tank?

    It’s The Tank.

    #225567

    Rubber

    It’s The Tank but what is the CONFIGURATION of the whole thing, is this some top-to-bottom ship-spanning facility? Do all the floors across the ship come to a halt around the prison? How is the prison on a single floor? It all just seems a bit bollocks tbh.

    #225568

    Ben Saunders

    The bit in the middle’s G-Tower. From the looks of it, it’s not a “floor”, but rather a restricted “area”, given the name “Floor 13” to sound spooky or something. Red Dwarf is MASSIVE so it’s not out of the question that they could hide shit.

    Also The Tank is called “The Brig” several times in VIII, and “The Brig” is referred to in The Inquisitor, so…

    It’s a bit silly honestly

    #225572

    Rubber

    Thanks! Sometimes I wonder if series VIII wasn’t maybe a bit ill-conceived and shit in some minor ways.

    #225573

    bloodteller

    you have to wonder since that tower’s right in the middle of the prison and connected to FUCK ALL, how anyone ever actually goes in and out of those cells

    #225575

    International Debris

    Or, y’know, why it has such a ridiculous convoluted design.

    #225579

    GlenTokyo

    you have to wonder since that tower’s right in the middle of the prison and connected to FUCK ALL, how anyone ever actually goes in and out of those cells

    The DVD would suggest retractable bridges.

    It is a shit design though.

    #225580

    bloodteller

    having to retract multiple bridges every time you just want to go in or out of the cells seems really really ridiculous.

    i suppose it does stop the prisoners getting out though, doesn’t it? if they’re imprisoned in a tower connected to nothing then their attempts to escape would only result in death

    #225581

    Rubber

    Having said all that, my favourite thing in all of series VIII was the LOVELY COSINESS of Lister getting anything he wanted from his cell by hammering on a pipe. Even if it was in one of the shite episodes.

    #225582

    International Debris

    i suppose it does stop the prisoners getting out though, doesn’t it?

    Like in Krytie TV, where Lister and Rimmer quite easily sneak into the main part of the ship to sabotage ‘ex-boyfriend Tim’/Ackerman’s quarters.

    I had considered that it could be part of the tank somehow, only it looks like the main ship, Lister believes it’s Tim’s quarters, so it would have to be in the main ship, and even on a badly run ship like Red Dwarf, I still find it hard to believe that Ackerman would be allowed to bring a date back to the secret prison (or even willingly live in the secret prison).

    #225585

    bloodteller

    >Like in Krytie TV, where Lister and Rimmer quite easily sneak into the main part of the ship to sabotage ‘ex-boyfriend Tim’/Ackerman’s quarters.

    Kryten explains he’s “paid off the guards” presumably so Lister can do this. Though given that crushed beer cans are used as currency in Krytie TV, i’m not exactly sure what he’s paying them off with. Krytie TV is a bit weird like that

    >Having said all that, my favourite thing in all of series VIII was the LOVELY COSINESS of Lister getting anything he wanted from his cell by hammering on a pipe. Even if it was in one of the shite episodes.

    yes, this was quite a nice moment

    #225586

    flanl3

    …but in the mirror universe, does Rimmer have an enormous cock, or a fanny?

    An enormous fanny.

    #225595

    Ben Saunders

    Have you ever seen Harry Potter, teller? Imagine you’re late for class and you need to wait for the fucking stairs.

    #225596

    bloodteller

    they had multiple forms of magical teleportation in Harry Potter though, didn’t they? who would even need the stairs

    #225598

    Ben Saunders

    Can’t do any of the magical teleportation methods within school grounds because of school rules/plot reasons

    #225613

    International Debris

    Kryten explains he’s “paid off the guards” presumably so Lister can do this.

    And then Rimmer manages to get out as well. It totally breaks the reality of VIII for me.

    Though given that crushed beer cans are used as currency in Krytie TV, i’m not exactly sure what he’s paying them off with. Krytie TV is a bit weird like that

    Probably the same stuff he used to buy his gold Series 4000 mechanoid plating in a prison on a ship that was around long before he was invented.

    #225614

    Dollar Pound

    when rimmer looks under the sheets his nob is on upside down

    #225615

    bloodteller

    just noticed they use the line in Only The Good… about how if their prism laser isn’t perfect, the mirror universe could be an “imperfect version of our own” so that presumably explains why everything isn’t opposite in the mirrorverse.

    makes you wonder how horrific it would’ve been if the mirror universe genuinely worked properly. for one thing, everyone’s skin would be inside out and rimmer wouldn’t be able to breathe since the atmosphere would’ve been whatever the fuck the opposite of oxygen is

    #225616

    Ben Saunders

    I think I said this earlier in the thread, but the logical conclusion to “everything is opposite” means the universe wouldn’t exist, because ours does

    #225617

    Ben Saunders

    Rimmer’s skin would be inside out, but “inside out” would mean the opposite, so it’d be the right way in

    He couldn’t breathe anti-oxygen, but in that universe humans breath anti-oxygen, so he’d be fine

    #225626

    Dollar Pound

    to the extent that the concepts they are about don’t quite hold together, the show’s episodes exist

    #225628

    KyoSo

    Krytie TV is a great episode of VIII if you pretend it only consists of “The post has arrived.”

    #225629

    Hamish

    Personally, I thought it started well but fell apart. All that stuff from back when the script was still entitled “No Strings Attached” — that was great. Then it all went cringe worthy and sexist and I fell into a dull torpor.

    But sir, that was the cartoon that had taken over the main programme!

    #225630

    International Debris

    Ok, enough replies to this thread. We don’t need the words ‘Only The Good Is Alright’ on the front page any more.

    #225634

    GlenTokyo

    Then it all went cringe worthy and sexist and I fell into a dull torpor.

    It’s an interesting topic is sexism in Red Dwarf. I was watching The Bodysnatcher collection commentaries from Ed and Doug and there’s a bit where Ed says that Ruby was in the edit for Kryten and remarked “and they say you can’t write for women” upon the reveal.

    Seems to flop around from casual sexism, to simple feminism like the Parallel Universe male models stuff, then to creepy or actually offensive sexism (elbow titting anyone?). The shower stuff in Krytie TV is particularly awful if you ask me. There’s sort of a suggestion that they’re getting paid until Kochanski sees herself, and then you realise Kryten is at the centre of the Red Dwarf iCloud leak and should probably be charged for that too.

    #225635

    Ben Saunders

    Should be pointed out that the voice of a character is not the voice of the author

    Writing a character who elbow-tits is not condoning elbow-titting, especially when the joke is that it’s an awful thing to do (also Rimmer complaining about wheelchair ramps is not Doug Naylor complaining about wheelchair ramps)

    Krytie TV though, even I’d have a hard time defending that

    #225637

    GlenTokyo

    Yeah definitely. Just an interesting thing to look at over the years. Probably more for an essay or something though.

    #225648

    bloodteller

    why does Krytie TV even exist? the subplot about The Appeal is pretty good, but pretty much everything involving Kryten in the episode is horrifically out-of-character and borderline offensive.

    okay i get they reprogrammed Kryten to become sexist and such (how?) but why even go to those lengths? if you’re going to do a Red Dwarf episode about Kryten exploiting naked women then surely all it requires is the male prisoners ordering Kryten to film them- Kryten obviously wouldn’t want to, but since he can’t disobey human orders he’d have to do it anyway and he’d be all guilty about it.

    #225649

    bloodteller

    an episode where Kryten is forced against his will into exploiting naked women isn’t really much better though i guess

    #225652

    Ben Saunders

    But then Lister could just order him to stop.

    I think the appeal stuff was from the pen of Doug Naylor while the rest was Paul Alexander, if I remember the VIII doc right

    #225653

    International Debris

    Both are awful, but it’s particularly unpleasant watching Kryten enjoying it. It’s a low point of a very questionable series, regarding sex-and-gender issues (to be fair, it’s a questionable series on all issues). Most earlier examples of potentially dodgy stuff are generally characters being awful in character, or Rob and Doug being a bit clueless. But the pervy, rapey stuff in VIII is difficult to watch.

    It also totally undermines Lister who, for all his laddishness, is always seen to have a certain amount of morals, and be generally a romantic sort of person. From wanting to ask out a hologramatic Kochanski to lending his coat to Irene, he’s always been able to see past sex when it comes down to it. Given that he and Kochanski are meant to be good friends by the time they get to Krytie TV (despite his tricking her into kissing him more than once), it seems totally wrong that he’ll happily watch video footage of her in the shower.

    #225654

    International Debris

    And yeah, the whole appeal plot has potential. There’s definitely a character-based episode in that, one where they all end up in several tricky positions but have to hold their tongues, do things they don’t want to, in order to win the appeal.

    I mean it’d still be all VIIIed up with terrible jokes about knobs and stuff, but it’d still be much better.

    #225656

    bloodteller

    i think somebody mentioned it above, but originally there was a VIII script entirely about the appeal, called “No Strings Attached” which honestly sounds a lot better than what we ended up with.

    also mentioned in the VIII scriptbook is a script called “Phwoaarrrr” about the crew all getting sexed to death, which sounds fucking awful

    #225658

    Phil

    “also mentioned in the VIII scriptbook is a script called “Phwoaarrrr” about the crew all getting sexed to death, which sounds fucking awful”

    Is it, though? I thought that was a working title for Krytie TV. It’s been a while since I lost my scriptbook, but I don’t remember it being a different entity with a distinct plot.

    #225660

    bloodteller

    oh my bad, it’s not in the scriptbook, it’s in the DVD booklet for VIII. and yeah, Phwoaarrr was an entirely different episode about “a ship where a new perfume was being tested that was so effective that it caused insatiable attraction between those who smelled it- the result being some nocturnal activity between Rimmer and Kochanski, and much subsequent Lister jealousy. The tone and content of the story-including piles of nude, dead bodies- was considered inappropriate.”

    why the fuck was Phwoaarrr considered inappropriate when they had the sexual magnetism virus in Back in the Red, and the penis in Pete, and the sex in Cassandra, and the sexual harassment in Krytie TV, and the incest in Only The Good?

    #225661

    GlenTokyo

    When you see it like that it makes you think that 1998’s chapter in Doug’s memoir will be called “Randy”.

    #225662

    Hamish

    > Ok, enough replies to this thread. We don’t need the words ‘Only The Good Is Alright’ on the front page any more.

    *bump*

    #225669

    Lily

    >sexual magnetism virus in Back in the Red,
    yup, rapey

    >and the penis in Pete,
    just a sound effect and bits of string

    >and the sex in Cassandra,
    or the total lack of, which was rather the point

    >and the sexual harassment in Krytie TV,
    yup, awful

    >and the incest in Only The Good
    Sister Talia, spiritual advisor … that was the joke

    #225670

    International Debris

    also mentioned in the VIII scriptbook is a script called “Phwoaarrrr” about the crew all getting sexed to death, which sounds fucking awful

    I wonder if Chris Chibnall got his idea for the second episode of Torchwood from this.

    Can’t wait for the new Doctor Who. :/

    #225680

    bloodteller

    the point is, it seems kind of odd that Phwoaarrr was considered inappropriate, considering the content of the rest of VIII. it doesn’t really seem any more rapey than the sexual magnetism virus

    #225682

    GlenTokyo

    It’d be harder to do Phwoaarrr visually. That’s probably the only reason it didn’t get done. Would be straight up VIII’s flagpole otherwise.

    #225684

    bloodteller

    well they could’ve just gone down the Samsara route of having it be skeletons who’d fucked themselves to death

    #225690

    Phil

    Well I’ll be. For some reason I’d retained the knowledge that it was just a working title with no distinguishing substance attached to it. Now I’ll spent the rest of my life trying to scrape that distinguishing substance out of my brain.

    #225712

    Dollar Pound

    viii = lad

    #225713

    Dollar Pound

    also what rubber said about casualty style titles… do the last day and beyond a joke count? or is it strictly half a saying? if so i’m having ‘a bird in the hand: part etc’ for pete. i’m surprised the writers’ room haven’t caught onto this one already

    #225717

    Dollar Pound

    when life deals you lemons

    #225730

    International Debris

    The Last Day always bugged me, as the rest of III is one word titles, a la The Young Ones, Blackadder II, etc.
    When I was writing a sitcom – back in the day when I was an interesting, creative person – I planned every episode to have a one word title. It felt like a very sitcommy thing to do.

    #225732

    flanl3

    The Last Day always bugged me, as the rest of III is one word titles, a la The Young Ones, Blackadder II, etc.
    When I was writing a sitcom – back in the day when I was an interesting, creative person – I planned every episode to have a one word title. It felt like a very sitcommy thing to do.

    Friends is a very bad sitcom.

    #225733

    flanl3

    That post would have been perfectly true had I left out the blockquote.

    #225735

    Ben Saunders

    Friends is actually pretty good, for America

    #225737

    Dave

    The America that also gave us Frasier, Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Louie, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Veep, The Simpsons, Malcolm In The Middle, and many others?

    No, it’s not.

    #225739

    International Debris

    Friends has lots of good jokes, but very few good episodes.

    #225743

    Ben Saunders

    Yeah, that America. Frasier, The Simpsons and Malcolm are good. And Scrubs. I caught some of the first series of Friends recently and I remember one joke in particular that was just incredibly well set up, but I can’t remember what it was.

    #225745

    si

    Community. American, great.

    #225746

    flanl3

    BoJack Horseman isn’t a sitcom per se, but it’s American and better than Friends.

    #225747

    GlenTokyo

    Friends is amazing compared to some of the dross that comes over from America. You might be able to write a list of things better than Friends, but you can write a bigger one of things a lot worse, The Big Bang Theory, 2 Broke Girls, The Great Indoors, most Netflix attempts at sitcoms etc

    #225748

    Dave

    “Pretty good, for America” sounded like a suggestion that America wasn’t able to make decent sitcoms.

    Even if there are lots of US sitcoms worse than Friends (and I’ll take your word for it), it still doesn’t mean that Friends sits among the best sitcoms that the US has to offer.

    #225750

    International Debris

    Yes, it’s hard not to read the original statement as one of those “America is shit at comedy” remarks, which is just daft. Especially given how good it’s been in the last 15 years compared to the UK.

    #225751

    Ben Saunders

    Many of the supposedly good American sitcoms mentioned here just don’t hit the spot for me. A couple of them do though. And in the past 15 years we’ve had Peep Show, The IT Crowd and the small rouge one representing us so we’re not doing too badly. Just ignore all the shite like Mrs Brown’s Boys and you’re good.

    #225752

    Dollar Pound

    i always wanted a friends style ep of the show. it’s in an apartment in a block on the roof. between scenes there are soft rock interludes as it zooms out from the block.

    #225753

    Dollar Pound

    or goodall does a slap bass version of the theme accompanied by lister drumming his cheeks

    #225754

    Dollar Pound

    yes, goodall’s cheeks, butt cheeks

    #225755

    Ben Saunders

    Holly should open an episode with a “what’s the deal with JMC standard issue food?”-style standup bit like on Seinfeld

    #225756

    Dollar Pound

    it could be the old meta ‘let’s make a sitcom’ trope. seinfield did that and also rosanne

    #225758

    Me Own Stunts

    The *only* good thing to come out of ‘Only The Good’ is Mac McDonald’s joke in the series VIII documentary that he could play the violin with his left hand in the mirror universe, because that is the opposite of not being able to play the violin.

    #225759

    bloodteller

    that was a joke? i thought he just miraculously learned how to play violin during the filming of VIII

    #225845

    Rubber

    also what rubber said about casualty style titles… do the last day and beyond a joke count? or is it strictly half a saying? if so i’m having ‘a bird in the hand: part etc’ for pete. i’m surprised the writers’ room haven’t caught onto this one already

    ——-

    Can be a full saying but it usually isn’t. ‘Stoke Me A Clipper’ was the worst. It’s not a real saying in the first place, even before Rimmer FUCKS IT UP.

    #225846

    Plastic Percy

    I still think they should have gone with Natural Born Rimmers.

    #225849

    Rubber

    Still too derivative of something completely unrelated. Series VII should have been:

    1. Curry Death Loop
    2. Hero Destiny Loop
    3. Ouroboros
    4. Duct Slog
    5. Gay Kiss
    6. Robot Tank Fury
    7. Epideme
    8. Nanarchy

    #225850

    Rubber

    1. Resurrection
    2. Sexual Magnetism Virus
    3. Plasticine
    4. Cassandra
    5. Revenge Porn
    6. Boing!
    7. Dino Shit
    8. Don’t Bother

    #225851

    Rubber

    I mean these do both sound like more interesting series now.

    #225852

    bloodteller

    1. Rimmer Takes Drugs
    2. Rimmer Fucks Everyone
    3. Prison Rape
    4. Sexual Frustration
    5. Ogling The Naked
    6. Mass Erections
    7. Just One Erection
    8. Incest

    #225853

    Rubber

    1. Kochanski Gets Ratarsed
    2. Kochanski Disguises Herself As A Black Person
    3. Kochanski Is Stopped From Making A Fool Of Herself Sexually By Men
    4. Kochanski Is Put Under Quite A Lot Of Pressure To Put Out
    5. Kochanski Has A Tit And A Second Tit On A Big Screen
    6. Kochanski Wants A Boob Job Like All Women
    7. Kochanski Contributes Nothing
    8. Kochanski Has A Menstrual Cycle And Her Bleeding Advances The Plot

    #225854

    Ben Saunders

    1) The cat flies a spaceship
    2) The cat ????
    3) The cat dresses as a nurse
    4) ???
    5) ???
    6) The cat gets raped or something
    7) Idk
    8) Danny John Jules says a big word

    #225855

    Dave

    1. There’s a problem with Red Dwarf and it has a full crew.

    2. Lister and Rimmer get caught out when they realise that things they thought were really happening to them haven’t really happened.

    3. Rimmer and Lister try to outwit each other in a story that seems like it ‘s going to end with an important development but ultimately just spins its wheels and doesn’t really go anywhere.

    4. Waiting for God

    5. Confidence and Paranoia

    6. Me2

    Aaaahhhhhhhh

    #225856

    Ben Saunders

    4. Some old cunt dies when Lister whips out his enormous sausage
    5. A Scottish man plays a loud annoying American. Honestly not that good
    6. Rimmer shouts at himself and then dies again.

    Was it ever specifically mentioned that Lister lied about getting promoted or is it just ignored forever? I think it’s the latter

    #225857

    Dave

    Apart from by Holly, you mean?

    #225858

    si

    This thread has taken a strange turn.

    #225861

    Ben Saunders

    Oh is the opening for the next episode not just a recap of Balance of Power lmao, forgot that

    #225864

    flanl3

    Part 1. Rimmer nearly kills his three crewmates
    Part 2. Rimmer kills a hologram
    Part 3. It is explained to Rimmer by Kryten that he, in fact, did not just kill an entire universe full of people.

    #225865

    flanl3

    1. Science Affair
    2. Fuck For Your Lives!
    3. Here, Have My Hole
    4. A Massive Tug Gone Wrong
    5. Kryten Screeches to Make Himself Feel Cool
    6. Octoinfanticide: Pipe Me!: Polymorph III

    #225866

    flanl3

    1. The One Where Everybody Becomes a Sperm (TOWEBS)
    2. Rimmer and Lister Discuss Having Sex While Eating Dog Food
    3. Kryten Finally Gets Lister’s Pants Off
    4. Rimmer and Lister Touch Each Other’s Dicks Without Consent
    5. Supermodels Will Fuck You Because You Are Rich
    6. I Mean, What Do You Think an Insane Guy Who Likes Being In Control Of You and Could Kill You If You Didn’t Comply and Loves Showing Off His Massive Powerful Dick Is Going To Do Once He Has Taken Over the Entire Ship?

    #225895

    KyoSo

    1. Ovationtopia
    2. Fathers and Fucking
    3. Lister Forces Himself on Rimmer Without Consent
    4. Naked Ass
    5. Catch Those Genitals!
    6. Masturbation2

    #225896

    KyoSo

    1. Lister Pretends to Be a Doctor in an Attempt to Molest a Stranger
    2. Please Put the Mask Back On
    3. The Non-Shitty Prison Episode
    4. Blonde Women Are Stupid
    5. The One With a Shit Ending (TOWASE)
    6. Hitler Part 2

    #225899

    Dave

    1. Rimmer has sex
    2. Lister finds a special use for his own hand
    3. Rimmer is stripped and oiled
    4. After Lister finds a way to boost his sexual magnetism, Rimmer gets into a dress
    5. Rimmer, in fishnet stockings, threatens to bum Lister to death
    6. Everyone wants to kill themselves

    #225900

    Rubber

    1. Tight PVC
    2. Gold gimp suit
    3. Cowboy fantasy dress-up
    4. Bestiality in a veil
    5. Roman fantasy dress-up
    6. Pubic wig

    #225902

    bloodteller

    1. Lister kills the President
    2. Rimmer kills a Knight
    3. The crew kill Lister’s wife
    4. Kryten kills the ship’s power
    5. Lister misses a man who killed himself
    6. A Simulant kills himself
    7. Lister allows himself to be killed
    8. Lister tries to eat sweets

    #225903

    bloodteller

    1. Rimmer kills everyone
    2. Rimmer watches a man get killed
    3. Lister kills his chances of becoming a Chef
    4. An old man is killed
    5. Two men are killed
    6. Lister delights at watching Rimmer be killed

    #225910

    Rubber

    1. Pretend cola
    2. Dead insect
    3. Raw coffee
    4. Fourth round of toast
    5. Spacenettle soup
    6. Chocolate finger picket fence

    #225911

    Rubber

    1. Evil Kevin Eldon spaceship
    2. Sunken immorality spaceship
    3. Insane medical robot plus vending machine spaceship
    4. Paper elongated face man cock-and-balls-shaped spaceship
    5. Art galley spaceship
    6. Polymorph-frying suicide mission spaceship

    #225913

    flanl3

    5. Two men are killed

    I count three.

    #225914

    flanl3

    1. Only Everybody…
    2. Only Your Son, Bexley…
    3. Only Holograms, If You Count Switching Holograms As Death…
    4. Only The One Cat Ark…
    5. Only Hallucinations…
    6. Only Duplicate Rimmers…

    #225917

    Dave

    1. Back in the Red, part one
    2. Back in the Red, part two
    3. Back in the Red, part three
    4. Back to the Future
    5. Back on the Sex Offenders’ Register
    6. Back in the Captain’s Office
    7. Backside of a dinosaur does a big shit
    8. Glad to see the Back of it

    #225919

    bloodteller

    on the original point of Only The Good being alright though, it is sort of an okay episode isn’t it? the stuff with the vending machine at the beginning is really good, and it’s one of the few VIII episodes where Holly actually gets a funny joke. i think its sadly one that suffers a lot from keeping scenes in that should’ve been cut, and cutting scenes that really needed to be kept in. you could probably assemble a fairly decent episode out of it if you felt like it

    also the “6 HOURS LATER” caption is really unnecessary and this annoys me more than it should

    #225921

    GlenTokyo

    All captions in VIII are shit and almost entirely unnecessary.

    Font, accompanying sound effect, content.

    #225925

    Ben Saunders

    The 6 hours later caption annoys me because it’s a different style from every other caption in the series

    Apart from the mirror universe machine asspull, Only the Good is FINE. Not very good, though.

    #225931

    bloodteller

    maybe the mirror universe machine was a Blue Peter project, and Kryten just nicked the one they prepared earlier

    #225939

    International Debris

    Rimmer and the vending machine is the only thing I like about Only the Good.

    #225941

    Ben Saunders

    I like “I’m giving you a big wet snog with oodles of Tommy Tongue”

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