PLOTS FOR SERIES 11

Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum PLOTS FOR SERIES 11

This topic contains 319 replies, has 58 voices, and was last updated by  cwickham 1 year, 1 month ago.

Viewing 320 posts - 1 through 320 (of 320 total)

Jump to bottom

  • Author
    Posts
  • #202953

    Pecospete666

    PLOTS FOR SERIES 11?

    I would like to see serious bad guys in some sort of in ship battle!

    #202954

    srmcd1

    That’s nice, honey. You do that…

    #202955

    genericnerdyusername

    Sounds hilarious. (…)

    #202958

    si

    Plots for RDXI? In a Twenty fifth anniversary special, the crew rediscover the stasis leak, which now only takes them back as far as the events of series one. As they know their future selves weren’t around at the time, they leave again, but not before hiding and indulging in some BTTF2 style revisiting of old events using split screens and stuff. Even though, admittedly, they kind of did that joke in Stasis Leak anyway. Oh, whatever, it was the first thing I thought of, leave me alone…

    #202959

    Seb Patrick

    I would like to see an episode revolving around the fact that the word “butter” has “butt” in it.

    #202960

    Reece

    I always thought about an episode where the crew find an abandoned DivaDroid space station. It would be very much a Kryten-based story. He finds failed experiments and sympathises with them, kinda like Ripley from Alien Resurrection when she finds the failed clones.

    #202961

    si

    Red Dwarf/Hyperdrive crossover.

    #202962

    NoFro

    Strike a light, Si’s a genius!

    #202963

    si

    Well, I try my best….you’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?

    #202964

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    He finds failed experiments and sympathises with them, kinda like Ripley from Alien Resurrection when she finds the failed clones.

    That is when Kryten realises that the chest plate wasn’t just a decorative circle. but it was a ‘0’ and he was the first in a line of experiments where they kept trying…. and failed…

    #202965

    NoFro

    “Beyond an Experiment”

    #202966

    Reece

    but it was a ’0′ and he was the first in a line of experiments where they kept trying…. and failed…

    It’s the perfect plot, I tell you!

    #202967

    Pecospete666

    Another one Could be Cat World! Where his one set of ancestors went to!
    I Think the other ship flew into the sun! Throw in a few advanced Dogs as antagonist!
    The Church of Lister should be in it,Nuns Bishops,Pope! that should appeal to RD religion sant!

    #202968

    Ridley

    That is when Kryten realises that the chest plate wasn’t just a decorative circle. but it was a ’0′ and he was the first in a line of experiments where they kept trying…. and failed…

    I could see this happening.

    #202969

    Pecospete666

    I like Si’s anniversary show but it should be 1 hour+ long!

    #202970

    si

    How about an anniversary show where the cast introduce clips from past shows, but in costume?

    #202971

    genericnerdyusername

    It’ll never happen.

    #202980

    Pecospete666

    Si’s would be cheap to make! And the most fitting or the occasion! but they all would have to be there! plus guest stars!

    #202981

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    I can’t think of ideas for future plots, but I do have a scene in my head:

    LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    LISTER: Yes.

    #202983

    performingmonkey

    I want a VII-done-right, almost-TNG-ripoff one where Kryten is flying Blue Midget alone and is either attacked or hit by an asteroid, resulting in him crashing on a nearby moon. The rest of the crew get to him but he’s badly damaged, with his whole body crushed beyond repair. Barely being able to speak, he manages to get out one clear word – ‘nettie’ before closing his eyes. Rimmer, checking a panel on Kryten’s side, says ‘his systems have stopped functioning’ and Lister says ‘no, man, he’s dead…’ and they walk away.

    Later, back on the Dwarf, Lister goes down to Kryten’s quarters. Realising he’s never actually been inside, he tries the door, only to be prompted for an entry code. Punching in ‘nettie’, as the door opens he’s suddenly bombarded with loud music by none other than Rastabilly Skank! After a brief ‘what the smeg?’ he walks in and there’s a mechanoid with its back to him, ‘hi dad…’ she says as she turns and both she and Lister scream.

    Kryten has spent the past 10 years building his own mechanoid child and…yeah there’s not much that could be done with that idea but Nettie would end up rebuilding Kryten and then have to die somehow (as all female characters must do on this show ;))…that would be it.

    Or the crew find a nudist planet, populated by GELFs.

    #202986

    srmcd1

    Or maybe Nettie could fall in love with a green blobby GELF.

    #202992

    clem

    That reminds me of the Batman: The Brave and the Bold episode where Red Tornado builds a robot son. It is sad.

    #202994

    Ben Paddon

    I think the Cat should do a shit.

    #202995

    srmcd1

    And he should do it backwards.

    #202996

    Pecospete666

    In a litter box?

    #202997

    performingmonkey

    An episode where they do some actual mining.

    #202998

    Ridley

    I think the Cat should do a shit.

    Adapt Carter’s fan comic? They should, yes.

    #203000

    Ben Paddon

    I’d like to see an actual dwarf, painted red.

    #203043

    srmcd1

    I know we’re taking the piss out of this thread, but I just thought of a cliffhanger…

    Lister and co get attacked by another weird space entity that forces them to choose between two of their greatest desires. Some would be funny, like Cat trying to decide between two different suits, and some would be serious, like Rimmer becoming an officer or having real friends.

    But the final one would be Lister’s decision: the creature opens a portal in space big enough for Red Dwarf to pass through that could take them back to Earth, but they don’t know what time period they’ll wind up in, and it’ll close permanently as soon as they’re on the other side. But the choice comes from this: does he take a chance at returning to Earth in an unknown era, or does he stay out in deep space and keep looking for Kochanski?

    #203045

    Carlito

    Why would he choose Earth in an unknown era at all?

    If it was the Earth he wanted to return to (‘present’ day or at least the time period he originated from), then you got a dilemma. Otherwise, he’s been to Earth several times already, out of his own time. He didn’t stay then, why would he abandon his dream now?

    #203047

    Connell

    They should do one with dinosaurs. And it should have eight parts, each more tedious than the previous.

    #203057

    SoundableObject

    I want an episode in which Lister says “Starbug too” and Kryten mishears him. Hilarious consequences.

    #203063

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I want episodes where some really intriguing, interesting concepts were introduced, not just hokey stupid idea like dinosaurs, ideas that make you think well past watching the episo— what? That’s happened already?… So it has!!

    #203067

    Ridley

    Just because for some reason VIII doesn’t hit your G&T-spot, I don’t see how the concepts could never have been turned into better received episodes.

    #203109

    Ben Paddon

    Series VII was choc-a-bloc with brilliant ideas, I thought. VIII had some too.

    #203208

    Kris Carter

    “Adapt Carter’s fan comic? They should, yes.”

    Oohhh, hush you…

    #203452

    peas_and_corn

    >LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    >KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    >LISTER: Yes.

    Look out, Kryten!

    #203526

    takerdemon

    >LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    >KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    >LISTER: Yes.

    THIS!

    #203529

    stubbleless

    I want an episode where Lister gets a rash… on his bum

    #203531

    Pete Part Three

    I want an episode where Lister gets a VD from a vending machine.

    #203533

    CackThosePants

    Rimmer meets Brittas.

    I’d like an episode where they explore more of the ship like everyone elses quarters etc.

    BRING BACK HATTIE AND STARBUG!

    #203535

    NoFro

    I’d like to see them revisit old parts of the ship. Not necessarily key sets like the bunk rooms, but it’d be nice if they had to go to a different part of the ship in an episode and the set design evoked the series 1-2 look or 3-5 look or even the BTE style.

    #203536

    Phil

    I’d like to see them revisit comedy.

    #203538

    mick

    I’d like to see more Native American dwarfs.

    #203580

    SoundableObject

    Episode 1: Kryten is arrested when he is mistaken for a serial killer. After he is exonerated, Rimmer, Lister, and he return to Red Dwarf.

    Episode 2: Simulant television executives approach Rimmer and Lister to write a pilot for a sitcom. Hogey the Roguey begins to stalk both Rimmer and Kryten.

    Episode 3: Cat uses Kryten as his witness when the former refuses to pay for a speeding ticket. In court, they make up a story of why he was he going that fast: Cat was trying to stop Kryten from killing himself because he didn’t get a job as a banker.

    Episode 4: Rimmer’s parents come to Red Dwarf to see a medi-bot for the back pain of Rimmer’s father. Morty Rimmer thinks his wallet has been stolen at the medi-bot’s. So he leaves without hearing the diagnosis. Rimmer is asked to explain to his parents why he does not wear the watch they gave him. Lister has an unsuccessful plan to hold out for more money for their simulant pilot (13,000 all together).

    Episode 5: Rimmer tries to buy his watch back from Uncle Frank, who found it in the garbage, having been thrown there by Rimmer. Lister tries to resurrect the fledgling simulant deal, while Kochanski plans a break up from her psychotherapist with Kryten’s help. Lister gets the pilot back, by accepting less money (8,000).

    Episode 6: Rimmer agrees to visit a boy who lives in a plastic bubble on the way to Holly’s parents’ cabin. Rimmer loses his way, though, and Kochanski, Lister, and Holly visit the boy instead. Kryten goes to the cabin with Rimmer’s ex-girlfriend, resulting in a fire

    #203591

    Pete Part Three

    And perhaps open each episode with Doug doing some observational comedy about telesales.

    #203592

    srmcd1

    I find it funny that Lister is George. Also the visual of Rimmer doing stand up comedy.

    #203594

    CackThosePants

    They need to do a Christmas special. Didn’t Doug plan one a while back?

    #203595

    KyoSo

    We’ll never forget Red Christmas.

    #203597

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    >LISTER: Kryten, I’m home!
    >KRYTEN: What? Already, sir?
    >LISTER: Yes.

    THIS!

    I would prefer the scene be shot without a studio audience, but with pauses for laughter left in.

    #203603

    Pecospete666

    THE WALKING DEAD DWARF. WDD-1

    #203605

    Pete Part Three

    Forget series XI. I want a spin off show with all my favourite characters: Hogey, Irene, the Medibot, the Data Doctor, Bird Man, Kill Crazy, that woman who raped Rimmer, Nice Nigel and Taiwan Tony.

    #203612

    MANI506

    I never saw Red Christmas but I read John Hoare’s review so I think I got the best out of that situation.

    #203631

    Ben Paddon

    All I wanted was a sitcom! Is that too much to ask? A sitcom in a biscuit factory!

    #204171

    dodgelister

    kryten gets a female genital attachment and lister forgets all about finding kochanski.

    #204177

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    The crew find Kochanski on a planet inhabited by her clones (in the same way as Rimmerworld) and decide they can just “have one each”.

    #204200

    Connell

    I want to see an episode set in space. I don’t think Doug has ever thought of taking the show in that direction, could be interesting

    #204212

    Reece

    kryten gets a female genital attachment and lister forgets all about finding kochanski.

    Red Dwarf XXX

    #204240

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I want to see an episode set in space. I don’t think Doug has ever thought of taking the show in that direction, could be interesting

    Computer, set a plot in space…

    #204241

    HelloMabel

    I have already done that, Doug. It doesn’t go well because the audience needs French windows. There is now no need for you to write this plot.

    #204243

    Ben Kirkham

    Here’s one – the Red Dwarf crew wake up one day… and they’ve all got tails. Squirrel tails, fox tails, all sorts of tails.

    No?

    #204249

    SoundableObject

    Kryten buys a new hat and Rimmer is jealous. Meanwhile, Cat loses his favourite needle in a bale of hay and has to try and find it.

    Classic Quotes:
    Lister: Cat, you’re looking for a needle in a haystack.

    Lister: Where is me curry?

    Rimmer: I really like Kryten’s new hat.

    Lister: Smeg head.

    #204250

    Ben Kirkham

    Lister eats a big curry and a can of lager and burps lolol

    #204259

    Connell

    A mysterious vessel known only as ‘CUNTG&T’, inhabited by some of the most unruly and ugly beings in the universe, is spotted dropping large amounts of shit and live trolls onto the less successful vessel, ‘GAZSOUP-7’. Hilarity ensues.

    Can the boys from the Dwarf save the day?

    #204261

    Ben Kirkham

    “A mysterious vessel known only as ‘CUNTG&T’, inhabited by some of the most unruly and ugly beings in the universe, is spotted dropping large amounts of shit and live trolls onto the less successful vessel, ‘GAZSOUP-7′. Hilarity ensues.

    Can the boys from the Dwarf save the day?”

    I want to watch this one, please.

    #204262

    SoundableObject

    Our podcast was getting more downloads than the Dwarfcast at one point.

    I’ll show you who drops shit on who.

    #204289

    takerdemon

    Cat appears on Rolf Harris’ Animal Hospital TV show

    #204298

    CackThosePants

    > Red Dwarf XXX

    What? Wait 20 series for that to happen. Fuck that.

    #204308

    Bexley Heath

    I have already done that, Doug. It doesn’t go well because the audience needs French windows. There is now no need for you to write this plot.

    I award HelloMabel one internet.

    #204363

    anniescribe

    As the climactic scene in Episode 6, a simulant demands that the crew explain what “smeg” means. And none of them can get out of it by crawling out of the drive room.

    #204367

    Connell

    David Brent arrives of the Dwarf. Rimmer and Brent hit it off and decide to try and take over control of the ship, and later the galaxy. Hilarity ensues.

    #204371

    HelloMabel

    Brilliant, Connell. Not only could I picture those two becoming friends, but your scenario also reminded me of this:
    http://www.ganymede.tv/2012/01/red-dwarf-x-episode-4-set-report/#comment-58040

    #204401

    Pete Part Three

    Was Jonsmad thinking of The Office when watching Entangled? I didn’t get that.

    #204402

    HelloMabel

    Just that Connell’s crossover story reminded me of that crossover tangent we did, inspired by Jonsmad’s comment. That was fun.

    Actually, did Jonsmad ever say what he was referring to?

    #204464

    peas_and_corn

    Lister and the rest get arrested after watching a droid being mugged by a simulant and doing nothing to help

    #204465

    Ben Paddon

    Lister and the group spend thirty minutes waiting at Taiwan Tony’s for their order to come in.

    #204467

    NoFro

    > Lister and the group spend thirty minutes waiting at Taiwan Tony’s for their order to come in.

    Racist.

    #204469

    si

    Kryten gets turned into a human (again), travels back in time (again), and decides to write a book about the future to make some money.

    ;)

    #204470

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    No, that’s Robert Llewellyn. He’s an actor.

    #204471

    anniescribe

    And then is sent back to the future (HA I WORKED IT IN THERE) because no big change stays permanent on the Dwarf, after all.

    “Sirs! They’re still not using videocassette tapes again yet in 2012! And the global economy is in a massive tank because of all those lost discs, I’m certain!”

    #204479

    srmcd1

    How about a sequel to Back to Earth where the Dwarfers and the actors who play them switch universes. Rimmer is suddenly doing documentaries about massive tools, Lister has to learn how to be somebody else all day, Cat finds himself in a police uniform, and Kryten becomes the host of Carpool.

    Meanwhile, Craig, Chris, Danny and Robert are having to figure how all this crap works that they’ve been pretending to use for so many years.

    #204482

    anniescribe

    Come to think of it, this probably gets written eventually in every fandom, but there were a couple of great old (and by old, I mean 20 years ago or so) fanfics in Trek where this very thing happened to the main few leads in both TOS and TNG. As I recall, the only switch that really didn’t make that much difference in their lives was Commander Riker/Jonathan Frakes. :-D

    (Also, I’d lay money Chris would be the first to figure out the controls and doohickeys on the Dwarf. Which would be far more hilarious if only a couple of the actors were switched around and half the crew were left wondering how the hell Rimmer got competent all of a sudden.)

    #204483

    Ben Kirkham

    Series XI, Episode 1 – Lister discovers that the Cat has finally lost his virginity – to Kochanski!

    Mayhem ensues.

    #204489

    anniescribe

    Not to mention a deal of medical reconstruction and mental therapy for Kochanski, if “Backwards” is to be believed …

    #204490

    SoundableObject

    Series XI, Episode 2 – The aftermath of Kochanski’s vagina being torn open. Meanwhile, Kryten attempts to create a new flavour of milkshake.

    #204491

    Alex

    Series XI, Episode 2 – The aftermath of Kochanski’s vagina being torn open.

    Ah, they’ve got Rob Grant back on writing duties again then.

    #204494

    Ben Kirkham

    Series XI, Episode 3 – Kochanski has kittens.

    #204496

    Pete Part Three

    Episode 4: Some stuff happens. Then some other stuff happens unrelated to that. Then some other stuff happens. Then there’s a mention of Kochanski. Then some other stuff happens. Then it stops.

    #204498

    anniescribe

    HIRE US, DOUG, QUICK, BEFORE NEW LINE SNATCHES US UP.

    #204512

    Pecospete666

    Cat meets Cat Woman, the hot one,from Bat man. Result Kittens!

    #204514

    KyoSo

    Series XI, Episode 5 “YOU DIE NOW” – Kochanski and her kittens are sealed into the cargo decks. Meanwhile, Lister goes into stasis to pass the time while on hold for a Veg-o-Matic, and Rimmer is forced at gun-point by Taiwan Tony to loosen the drive plate and set off a radiation leak, which destroys them all and mutates Cat into a polymorph.

    Series XI, Episode 6 “The Rebeginning” – Lister emerges from stasis to discover he and Kochanski are the only surviving members of the crew. Unfortunately, the Cat polymorph is still at large. Can a trip to Tijuana and a song-and-dance polymorphectomy by Krytens’s Mexican cousin save the day?

    #204517

    peas_and_corn

    I’m not sure if you’re taking this seriously, Smegerama.

    #204534

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    Is it wrong that part of me wants to see a DVD extra of some of this stuff? A fucked up episode of Dwarf, if you will. Kinda like what they did on the My Name Is Earl Season One DVD with an alternate take on the pilot.

    #204536

    CackThosePants

    > Lister and the group spend thirty minutes waiting at Taiwan Tony’s for their order to come in.

    YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES…….and I’m spent!

    #204554

    Connell

    A foaming twat is loose on board. It’s up to the Dwarfers to hunt it down.

    #204557

    CackThosePants

    > A foaming ropey old twat sandwich is loose on board. It’s up to the Dwarfers to cunt it down.

    I’m going to regret that in the morning. CHEEEERS!

    #204559

    KyoSo

    > A foaming twat is loose on board. It’s up to the Dwarfers to hunt it down.

    “Curiosity Killed the Twat”

    #204563

    Almighty_crj

    “Waiting for Cod”
    Rimmer’s attempt at a traditional Friday night fish & chip supper goes awry when Lister insists on fishing barefoot in the ship’s fish tank and the Cat does diving for live food.

    #204564

    Ridley

    Uh oh, better watch out Kristine! It’s the wrong time of the month and you’ve returned just when Cat is in heat for some reason! Join the crew of Red Dwarf for another classic half hour of wacky shenanigans in this hilarious homage to The Most Dangerous Game as our favourite navigation officer is pursued through the city-sized ship. Is he gonna get you little Krissie?

    *See the two who know their way around Red Dwarf best face off!
    *Laugh as Kryten hijacks all the best hiding spots to tell the contestant that she’s been Krytered!
    *Hear Rimmer call the action on the ship’s speaker system!
    *Enjoy Lister saying that this is just typical of her in a variery of silly voices!

    “Finally, a Cat episode!”

    #204565

    Pecospete666

    “Waiting for Cod”
    That’s good I’m going to steal that!
    Fuck you Ridex! You back stabbing cunt!

    #204566

    srmcd1

    At one point, we find out that Rimmer *didn’t* cause the accident. Holly simply planted the memory in his head so he’d feel guilty enough to stay on as the ship’s hologram.

    #204568

    Ben Paddon

    A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the The Rimmer Experience from “Blue”.

    #204570

    Connell

    “A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the The Rimmer Experience from “Blue”.”

    But why would they do X again?

    #204571

    CackThosePants

    > I’m going to regret that in the morning. CHEEEERS!

    Correct.

    Anyway Iove an episode where Kryten has to wear that old northern head from DNA. Moaning and attacking everyone left and right.

    Rimmer : Kryten have you completed when I requested?

    Kryten : I don’t need no bloody idiot talking me like that. If you want to walk up the hill to buy some bread – you do it yourself you lazy bugger!

    #204574

    Reece

    But why would they do X again?

    #204575

    CackThosePants

    ^ LOL

    Craig’s wig must be made of liquorice. A weave of Bertie Bassett’s pubic hairs.

    #204576

    anniescribe

    A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the dream sequence from “Blue.”

    #204577

    Reece

    A whole series made up of retellings of classic Red Dwarf adventures in the style of the dream sequence from “Blue.”

    “Rimmer! You’re a hologram?!”

    “Yes. That’s because I’m dead. Dead as a can of spam. And it’s all thanks to you.”

    “Oh Rimsy…”

    “Oh Listy…”

    #204579

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    In the Series XI finale, Kryten gets the rejuvenation shower working. However, a giant cock up happens which results in Lister, Rimmer, Cat and Kochanski turning into toddlers and the effects are irreversible. This leads to a spin off entitled “Red Dwarf Babies” – where Kryten becomes the kids’ headless nanny after they destroyed all his spare heads and for some reason, Rimmer now has a tomboyish twin sister who bullies him endlessly.

    #204581

    anniescribe

    As a fan of the long-forgotten Muppet Babies cartoon, I both salute Stephen and point out Kryten doesn’t NEED a head (we never saw Nanny’s).

    #204583

    si

    I have a Muppet Babies LP. Just thought I’d mention it.

    #204584

    Connell

    In the series finale, I want to see Warwick Davis painted red and chased round the ship, it would finally answer that age old question of what the fuck ‘Red Dwarf’ actually means.

    #204590

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    As a fan of the long-forgotten Muppet Babies cartoon, I both salute Stephen…

    I think as long as we have youtube, Muppet Babies won’t be (or stay) long-forgotten :o) *salutes back*

    and point out Kryten doesn’t NEED a head (we never saw Nanny’s).

    I know. I just thought it would be a…. well…umm… I don’t want to say funny idea… if there be a reason like that behind the now Headless Nanny Kryten.

    I have a Muppet Babies LP. Just thought I’d mention it.

    SHOW-OFF! What’s it called and what songs are on it? I don’t think I’ve seen a Muppet Babies LPs on Muppet Wiki before.

    #204597

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    I was talking about Muppet Babies last night, and it occurred how expensive that show potentially was to produce. I believe it was Lucasfilm who made it so the clips from either 20th Century Fox or Lucasfilm-owned that were used were either licensed or fair game given they were created by the same production company.

    But still, it was awesome. I still want it on DVD.

    #204600

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    Same here! Same goes for Season 4 & 5 of The Muppet Show and Muppets Tonight. Of the bunch, I’d say we’re more likely to get TMS 4 & 5, but even they should’ve been released years ago. Hopefully, the success of the latest film will speed that up and maybe even increase the chances of getting Muppet Babies and Muppets Tonight on DVD.

    #204601

    Adam Bailey

    Returning to our Dimension to catch up with Lister for a curry, Ace Rimmer is captured by Gelfs and the Dwarfers must rescue him. Hijinks ensue when Series X Rimmer must pretend to be Ace to carry off the ruse. Close to making a successful escape Lister is confronted by his Gelf wife but manages to comfort her through a rousing ten minute speech on the nature of humanity. Ace Rimmer blasts off back into the unknown, except was it him or the other Rimmer? In celebration of their success they all dig into a pile of kippers. Lister pours ketchup on his.

    Meanwhile onboard Red Dwarf, Kryten struggles to make the perfect souffle.

    It has never occurred to me before this moment just how many episodes feature multiple Rimmers.

    #204617

    CackThosePants

    Tiny Toones > Muppet Babies

    I heard the new Muppets film is good, it’s on Sky Movies this Christmas, so will check it out.

    Good old Father Murdoch :D

    #204622

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Tiny Toons and Animaniacs were fucking amazing work. In terms of educational value they were absolutely fantastic. Muppet Babies is one of those things that will always make me feel insanely nostalgic, like Trap Door.

    I do have heard good things about ‘The Muppets’, any film that can get Dave Grohl as a cameo gets my vote.

    #204625

    Connell

    Fuck, I remember watching Trap Door on a mangey VHS I got from a car boot sale when I was about 8 or 9, I took it home thinking it was a Sooty video and was greeted to that, more than made up for it!

    #204626

    si

    The Muppet Babies LP is called ‘Rocket to the Stars’. Here it is with my ‘collection’ of Muppet Show LPs:

    Tracklisting:
    Side One:
    The Muppet Babies Theme
    Merry Go Round
    Keep Rockin’
    Dream For Your Inspiration
    Good Things Happen In The Dark
    Side Two:
    Camilla
    Rocket To The Stars
    Practice Makes Perfect
    It’s Up To You
    I Can’t Help Being A Star
    The Muppet Babies Theme (Reprise)

    Somewhat unbelievably, that album dates from 1985. No, I haven’t listened to it recently. Yes, my living room rug does want a run over with the hoover.

    #204627

    Pete Part Three

    >I do have heard good things about ‘The Muppets’, any film that can get Dave Grohl as a cameo gets my vote.

    I liked it but I found the second half a little weak. There are rather a lot of meta-jokes and I found these a little wearing after a while as it seemed to be where 95% of the comedy was derived from.

    Muppet Christmas Carol still top of the heap.

    #204630

    Phil

    >The Great Muppet Caper still top of the heap.

    FIXED WHAT YOU SAID BY CHANGING IT TO SOMETHING THAT I AGREE WITH

    #204631

    anniescribe

    Glad to see so much Muppet Babies love all over this thread. I was pretty well in junior high or high school when that was on, I believe, but I had a little sister who liked watching, and it was fun for me, as well. That show had a good deal of adult humor that flew over the heads of the little ones. :-)

    On another note, I’ll just say this is one of the very few websites featuring the phrase “multiple Rimmers” that I’m allowed to pull up here at work.

    #204632

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    Tiny Toons and Animaniacs were fucking amazing work.

    SO AGREE WITH YOU! I’ve been rewatching Animaniacs this year (along with Pinky and the Brain). I haven’t rewatched Tiny Toons yet, but plan to. I WANT THEM ALL ON DVD DAMMIT!

    I liked it but I found the second half a little weak. There are rather a lot of meta-jokes and I found these a little wearing after a while as it seemed to be where 95% of the comedy was derived from.

    I loved it, but I can understand what you’re saying, Pete. I can also understand some of the criticisms Frank Oz has come out with aswell, but for me personally, I was just so happy to have Scooter and Rowlf back with the main gang where they belong and not have Pepe taking up a lot of screen time. I hope they keep it that way for the next film. I don’t so much mind Pepe getting more to do, but if Scooter and Rowlf get pushed away into the back again, I won’t be happy. They deserve better than that IMO.

    Si, I love that pic! Though I wish I had that LP, I was lucky enough to get some downloads of The Muppet Show albums (and some other old Muppet Soundtracks, too) to put on my iPod.

    #204633

    Stephen R. Fletcher

    Glad to see so much Muppet Babies love all over this thread. I was pretty well in junior high or high school when that was on, I believe, but I had a little sister who liked watching, and it was fun for me, as well. That show had a good deal of adult humor that flew over the heads of the little ones. :-)

    When I was a kid, Muppet Babies was really the only Muppet thing I watched. I loved it. I also did watch The Muppets Take Manhattan and I actually thought for a while that Muppet Babies came first and that film, and all the other stuff were made afterwards. So it was really baffling to me when Skeeter just disappeared and seemed to be forgotten about.

    And when I first saw Muppets Tonight, The Muppet Christmas Carol and Treasure Island, it really confused and upset me that Scooter seemed to disappear and Rowlf would get a cameo or two. Of course, not knowing anything about the Muppet Performers and the behind the scenes reason for that happening.

    #204635

    Ben Kirkham

    “Tiny Toons and Animaniacs were fucking amazing work.”

    Fuck Yes! I used to have the Tiny Toons game for the Mega Drive, bloody loved it. And Animaniacs had the fabulous Pinky and the Brain.

    #204638

    Pecospete666

    Fritz the cat is my childhood cartoon!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_the_Cat_(film)

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    Before most of you were born!

    #204639

    Pete Part Three

    Isn’t it your childhood now?

    #204642

    Pecospete666

    I’m on my third!

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    “FaceOver” great free photo app

    #204644

    Pecospete666

    Though I do not know” Ian” personal his Internet personally reminds me of “Fritz”

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #204645

    Reece

    Wow.

    #204646

    Blisschick

    Yeah.

    #204648

    Ben Kirkham

    Er… um… that’s just… wrong.

    #204799

    Ridley

    Lister builds a Cat flap into the hull of the ship. He immediately regrets it when another member of Felis sapiens arrives on board and starts pelting him with dead pigeons.

    #204800

    Connell

    Half an hour of Rimmer’s slideshows

    #204802

    clem

    The Mugs Murphy Show

    #204803

    anniescribe

    “Half an hour of Rimmer’s slideshows” – Yeah, no. Only if Rimmer will narrate it. With his ass to the camera the entire time. 0:-)

    #204805

    Blisschick

    :)

    #204806

    Pecospete666

    Blisschick drinking that white lightning again?

    #204809

    CackThosePants

    White lightning enema, because your worth it.

    #204814

    Pecospete666

    Crack! does crack in your name mean you smoke it?
    I ride the horse!

    #204818

    CackThosePants

    Love to sniff your crack. I bet it smells like skittles because your one fruity slut.

    * Sniffs……..”Aah, Pecos!”

    #204825

    SoundableObject

    Series XI Episode 1

    Holly returns! And this time it is two for the price of one as we have the male Holly on Red Dwarf and the female Holly on Starbug. Hilarity ensues as Red Dwarf is blown up and they have to spend the rest of the series on Starbug.

    #204826

    Reece

    Holly returns! And this time it is two for the price of one as we have the male Holly on Red Dwarf and the female Holly on Starbug. Hilarity ensues as Red Dwarf is blown up and they have to spend the rest of the series on Starbug.

    ~Fin

    #204839

    CackThosePants

    > ~Fin

    More like “sued” …..he stole my idea.

    Though to be fair only the first part. I never said it could be funny or the blowing up bit. We’re split the profits.

    #204840

    applemask

    David Ross and Robert Llewellyn fight to the death inside a barbed-wire thunderdome

    #204841

    CackThosePants

    Applemask your evil idea is rotten to the core.

    #205045

    SoundableObject

    The gang find out they are just characters in a TV show called “Red Dwarf”. They have to stop the show being cancelled by fixing some frame dropping.

    #205046

    SoundableObject

    Vicar of Duane Dibbley

    #205048

    Ben Paddon

    Red Dwarf is on a collision course with a star, and their only hope is a JMC data disc that’s supposed to be compatible with every current-model computer system in the fleet! However the files are stored in a format that the on-board JMC computer can’t open…!

    (Yes, this is me being bitter about the 1080i50 Bluray.)

    #205068

    Connell

    Dibbley or no Dibbley – The thrilling spinoff.

    #205069

    genericnerdyusername

    I choose No Dibbley.

    #205076

    Blisschick

    >Blisschick drinking that white lightning again?

    Only because you’ve driven me to it.

    #207273

    Ridley

    All the vending machines form a UN and put trade sanctions on the crew for upsetting the French and Chinese delegates.

    #207277

    SoundableObject

    Taiwan Tony takes over Red Dwarf and begins to transform the ship into a giant fortune cookie. Meanwhile Lister can’t get free of a Chinese finger trap.

    #207283

    Jonsmad

    In reply, yes, I did mention twice in other threads I think, that the sitcom i refered to in the set report was Gerald in the midst, episode of “Nightinggales” which had a gorillia joining the cast, as a guest.

    So In Red Dwarf XI I want cat to turn into a werewolf.

    #207284

    peas_and_corn

    A businessman convinces Lister that Red Dwarf needs a monorail

    #207286

    Ben Paddon

    Fed up of getting food from vending machines, the Dwarfers decide to head down to the ship’s forgotten nightlife district and eat at a Chinese restaurant on their way to the ship’s cinema, only to find the AI serving the front counter insists the place is full and they’ll have to wait for a table.

    #207287

    Ridley

    Over the course of one evening, Lister finds himself on a losing streak to Rimmer when the Second Technician shows an uncanny talent for table tennis.

    Determined to win, Lister demands a rematch. However, the ship’s autocorrect sends out the message that he “had never given a smeg about Ping Ping before tonight.” leading to an uncomfortable situation with Red Dwarf’s Chinatown AI.

    #207292

    Phil

    A woman shows up and they all sit around masturbating.

    #207298

    genericnerdyusername

    If they don’t have every version of Rimmer in the 50th Anniversary special then fuck Naylor and his giant ego for betraying the fans.

    #207299

    Connell

    Pre-titles sequences, Lister is sat in the drive room, a foreign object appears on the scanner. Kryten informs Lister is appears to be a blue police box heading straight towards them. Lister immediately destroys it.

    #207300

    Connell

    The creator informs the Dwarfers he is no longer interested in the type of audience they attract anymore.

    #207301

    Seb Patrick

    I want an episode where it’s revealed to the cast that their entire lives are a TV show.

    And that TV show is Michael Barrymore’s Strike it Lucky.

    #207302

    Ridley

    Things backfire for Kryten when he tries an experimental robo-curry, threatening the local seabird population.

    #207311

    Tarka Dal

    How about an episode where Kryten is human and everyone else blacks up?

    #207313

    takerdemon

    Lister uses a jet ski to jump over a giant shark on an ocean planet

    #207316

    HelloMabel

    The crew travel to a city called Birmingham in the year 2013. They land in a small hotel room with 17 people spouting bollocks and recording themselves. Kryten whips out his sci-scan and hilarity ensues.

    #207331

    anniescribe

    … And then they realize it’s in Alabama and the 17 people are the entirety of a Safeway sales convention. :-P

    #207334

    Connell

    The crew find Ackerman living in one of the cargo bays, having lost his eye centuries ago. It’s up the crew to hunt down Ackerman’s eye in time for his date with Taiwan Tracy! Graham McTavish guests.

    #207354

    Pecospete666

    DWARFS! there’s no dwarfs in Red Dwarf! A episode featuring a dwarf or dwarfs would be appropriate. Should be Native American Dwarfs, then it would truly be Red Dwarf!

    #207364

    Ben Paddon

    The crew find Kochanski when they discover that not only has she been using Twitter over the last couple of years, but she’d forgotten to turn location tracking off. Kochanski is once again recast, this time portrayed by Patricia Routledge.

    #207393

    Phil

    The crew journey to America in the year 2016, where they find Pecos Pete and Ben Paddon living together for financial reasons. The episode serves as a backdoor pilot for “Pecos ‘n’ Paddon: Murder Detectives” and as such finds them working together to solve the mystery of who killed Archie. In the B-plot Lister has graphic intercourse with Ben’s refrigerator.

    #207410

    Ridley

    Dispenser 34 reveals that she is pregnant with Lister’s child but the fruit of their loins gets caught in the mechanism. Guest appearance by Gynae-Bot.

    #207422

    Pete Part Three

    Lister discovers that the human race isn’t extinct after all. They were all just hiding.

    #207665

    Jonsmad

    An Episode set entirely in the woods, made up of White Hole like time dilation loop problems faithfully re-created using the drop frames of the red cameras.

    #208295

    Magic Me

    I think that that guy that Craig Charles plays will be in it.

    He might eat curry. Or mention it.

    #208297

    SoundableObject

    Kryten gets more RAM. Hilarious consequences.

    #208377

    tanya

    They stop trying to advance the show and make it look like it did back in series 6! That’s not a plot though.. as for plot they kill off kochanski!! ^_^

    #208378

    Ridley

    The Dwarfers discover the terrible truth that Red Dwarf is, in actuality, a miming ship.

    #208379

    Connell

    The Dwarfers almost find another Stasis leak and have to avoid their past selves in footage taken from earlier series’, until they realize the budget won’t cover it. The stasis leak timely disappears and Lister fucks a Portuguese tin opener instead.

    #208387

    anniescribe

    Hey, as each actor has at least one son; they could film flashbacks that way. Although it’d probably get weird when Lister is almost twice as tall and years older than Rimmer … but that can be explained away by timey-wimey. Or that Rimmer’s boothing has just been working really super well …

    #208388

    Pete Part Three

    Kochanski celebrates her 32nd Birthday with a party, gets drunk and fucks The Cat. Meanwhile. Kryten discovers he has early onset-Droid rot and struggles to come to terms with the news. And Rimmer waits in all day for a postpod to be delivered – but it never turns up.

    #208389

    clem

    Spare Hand One goes berserk and molests a coffee machine. Meanwhile Rimmer takes up topiary and Lister finally looks up ‘iguana’ in the dictionary.

    #208399

    tanya

    heheh wow mine was serious guess that is not the name of the game ^_^

    #208713

    peas_and_corn

    In a bizarre retooling, the Dwarfers are given morphers to have the powers to become the Dwarf Power Rangers. They fight GELFs and the ship becomes a humanoid robot somehow.

    #208717

    anniescribe

    “Somehow.” And this, kids, is how sci-fi was born – “Somehow, there has to be something worse than a monster … I know, the asshole doctor who created him!”

    (Don’t mind me, I’m just missing some sleep. Stupid epiphanies with dumb timing. I just want an episode with Cat race survivors …)

    #208720

    si

    the Dwarfers are given morphers to have the powers to become the Dwarf Power Rangers

    Mighty Dwarfin’ Power Rangers.

    #208722

    Phil

    “the Dwarfers are given morphers”

    I thought you were going to start rapping. :(

    #208726

    Ridley

    Rimmer declares himself emperor and changes all of Red Dwarf’s systems so that the ship runs to the new Rimmerian calendar. On Arnday, the ship is pulled through a time hole. They don’t know when they are when they are approached by a species of GEL-Th who Generally Eat Lifeforms on Thursdays thus leading to a race against time maybe.

    #208727

    Pete Part Three

    Kochanski dies.

    #208728

    Pecospete666

    “Kochanski dies”. While filming a “Little People” Porn Movie! Directed by the Cat! Working title. “Little Pussy”

    7 dwarfs comes to mind!

    Somebody shoot me!

    #208730

    Ben Paddon

    The Dwarfers find themselves locked in a duel across time and space.

    #208741

    clem

    In a Bob Newhartesque twist it turns out that all of Red Dwarf was a dream had by Captain Butler.

    #208742

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    Lister eats a curry and spills some but he doesn’t care because he’s Lister. Someone says smeg.

    #208745

    evarofzentral

    Episode 1 – Hogey Part 1 – The Dwarfers face off against Hogey the Roguey in the promised cookery contest from Series X. Ainsley Harriott beams in to adjudicate only to be killed when he trips over a box and a bathtub of water falls on him. Antony Worrall Thompson replaces him, but steals the last bib from the denti-bot and havoc ensues.

    Episode 2 – Hogey Part 2 – Hogey asks the crew about their past adventures, prompting Kryten and the Cat to tell Marooned from their perspective. However, they are interrupted constantly by Taiwan Tony (to the extent that we are only shown clips with them in from the original Marooned) and havoc ensues.

    Episode 3 – Our robo Ross – Lister decides to change his name to Ross Lister but when the Dwarfers decide to return to the DNA ship Ross is turned into a robot and havoc ensues.

    Episode 4 – Hogey Part 3.33 recurring – Captain Hollister and the rest of the non-original crew return to Red Dwarf only to find that Hogey doesn’t like them much and havoc ensues.

    Episode 5 – Duct Loop – The tv channel Dave accidentally put Duct Soup on a constant loop for two days and havoc ensues.

    Episode 6 – Nan-achey – In a flashback episode Ross remembers back to when his Nan had an ache in her foot and havoc ensues.

    Episode 7 – 101 Kochanskis – Ross is delighted when Red Dwarf finally finds Kochanski on its scanners. However, when he, Hogey, and TT get down to the planet they soon realise they’ve got more than they bargained for. Kochanski has been cloned and the only way to find the real Kochanski is to search for the one that can stand on its hind legs like a little Rory Calhoun – havoc ensues.

    Episode 8 – Rimsy TV – With Kochanski returning to the ship Rimmer sets up a pay-per-view tv service of Kochanski in the showers and havoc ensues.

    Episode 9 – Last of the Summer Whine – Kryten makes the decision to stop whining about Kochanski only to go crashing down the cargo decks in a bathtub with Cat – havoc ensues.

    Episode 10 – The Black Seal – Rimmer is demoted to Third Technician by King Tony and decides to assemble the seven most evil scutters on Red Dwarf in order to have his revenge. But when Rimmer’s old adversary the revolving toilet from Balance of Power comes back to haunt him havoc ensues.

    Due to ten episodes being produced Series XI had to be shot exclusively in Shepperton woods to cut costs. However, this situation is not acknowledged in the series, with the characters just acting as if they are on Red Dwarf or wherever they happen to be. Nevertheless, fans will be pleased to note that perennially reliable games studio Gearbox has been hired to undertake the CGI required for the season, although they will be outsourcing some of the work to the makers of the acclaimed E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial on the Atari 2600.

    #208746

    KyoSo

    Series XI opens with the reveal that Red Dwarf itself was actually projected by Rimmer’s light bee. Shortly after learning this, Taiwan Tony breaks up with Rimmer, who suffers a resentment attack causing the ship to vanish. Lister and the Cat, unable to breathe, swim to a nearby island. Then they are rescued by a passing GELF ship which takes them back to Hawaii.

    In the following episode, Lister and the Cat meet a genie who grants them three wishes. The rest of the episode follows their adventures with the genie in Hawaii, which goes horribly wrong when the Cat repeatedly wishes for fish. All three wishes wasted, Lister is forced to turn the largest fish into a submarine. The rest of Series XI revolves around them driving the dead fish through the ocean, searching for Kryten while fighting off vicious head-hunters and Ernest Borgnine.

    In the final episode, they find Kryten ship-wrecked on an island with Gilligan, who tags along back to Hawaii. In a shocking twist ending, they recover Rimmer’s light bee and power him back up along with Red Dwarf. The episode ends with Red Dwarf being commissioned as a cruise ship with Rimmer as captain, a set-up for the show to be retooled as the “Funtastic Arnold and Gilligan Hour” in Series XII.

    #208747

    Phil

    For budgetary reasons series 11 features a bottle episode that doesn’t include any of the crew. Instead they are forced to abandon Red Dwarf (off-camera) due to an asteroid storm (off-camera) and only return at the end of the episode (off-camera).

    The entirety of the half hour is given over to Taiwan Tony, the Medi-Bot and the Denti-Bot in the same room, talking about past loves and generally being really fucking annoying.

    Hilarity ensues when they are joined by Kerry Shale’s newest embodiment of a lazy stereotype, Rapey the African.

    #208751

    Paul Muller

    Ep.1: After a malfunction with a DNA modifier, the Dwarfers suddenly find themselves turned into women. The episode then centres around an extended joke about periods, until, whilst discussing their love of horses, men and the mystery of the offside rule, they accidentally manage to flush themselves out of an airlock like a bunch of idiots. Taiwan Tony offers the final punchline: “What a load of sluts”. Cut to credits.

    #208777

    Ben Kirkham

    200.

    #208782

    Seb Patrick

    Now that we’ve hit 200 I’m going to print this out and give it to Doug. So get your last few suggestions in quickly, folks!

    #208783

    si

    Lister and Rimmer desperately try to avoid the Zero-Gee Football results.

    #208784

    si

    Rimmer goes mad and starts hitting Starbug with a branch.

    #208786

    Ridley

    Flashback episode: Grateful to Lister for his moving farewell, Rimmer’s first act as Ace is to jump to an earlier period in Lister’s lifetime and rid Liverpool of its ethnic Chinese population. After toppling the arch, Ace decides he’s a bit bored with being a hero and goes back to Red Dwarf. Meanwhile, Lister uncovers evidence that he’s actually from Manchester, specifically his memory of leaving himself at the Rovers Return 2099 with a smudged post-it note instruction to “leave at pool”.

    #208787

    si

    Rimmer and Lister are “on a break”.

    #208788

    Pete Part Three

    Due to some weird space thing, all the good ideas in the universe are suddenly used up and, with no more adventures to take part in, the dwarfers wither away and die.

    (This’ll be a multi-series arc)

    #208789

    Pecospete666

    At least 1 Cat episode! I’m tired of Kyten hogging all the shows!

    #208790

    Ridley

    Chris Barrie is replaced with a silent, life-size cardboard cutout of Rimmer for an episode. Neither the script nor the cast acknowledges the change in any way.

    #208791

    Ridley

    Epideme II: Syphilis

    #208792

    Phil

    Birdman is back…and he’s getting married! Lister, Rimmer, Kryten and Cat all fall over themselves (and each other!) in the hopes of becoming his best man. In the end he tells them that they’re all great men…and therefore none of them can truly be the best. He then rides Pete into the sunset.

    In a fun B-plot, Lister finds a stranded human being in need of aid. His actions directly result in her gruesome death and he doesn’t give a shit.

    #208793

    si

    The Dwarfers’ friend Ace turns up, and takes Lister, Rimmer, Cat, Kryten and Kochanski out clubbing.

    #208794

    Ridley

    In a fun B-plot, Lister finds a stranded human being in need of aid.

    “You make Birdman?”
    “No… Birdwoman.”

    Bird Science!
    Birdfantasy and microchips

    Starring Michael Birdmanasseri and Birdvanessa Birdangel

    #208795

    si

    1) Lister goes to donate blood, hilarity ensues.

    “A pint? That’s nearly a smeggin’ armful!”

    2) Rimmer goes to donate blood, hilarity ensues.

    “A pint? That’s very nearly a smegging armful, miladdio!”

    #208797

    Pete Part Three

    Everyone gets gay.

    #208798

    SoundableObject

    Roboship:

    Kryten joins a crew full of androids but eventually leaves because something happens.

    Meanwhile, Lister auditions for Kryten’s replacement. Taiwan Tony is chosen over Talkie Toaster and that vending machine from ‘Only the Good…’.

    #208800

    peas_and_corn

    But he knows so much about Rimmer, like his taste for chocolate.

    #209341

    Ridley

    Pete: Part 2 – Tabby Ranks Mix

    #209342

    Hesperus

    I’d like to see an episode where they find an old store of musical instruments on board.

    I can imagine Rimmer trying to play the trumpet (badly) and winding up Lister with it. Of course, that would then need to have some greater significance in saving the/helping them with something else that happens later… not sure what though.

    I’d also like it to be just the 4 Dwarfers staying on the ship, or at most raiding an empty moon/derelict etc.

    #209343

    Phil

    Blue Midget forgets how to dance. The Dwarfers each take turns trying to teach it.

    This is a five part episode.

    #209344

    Ridley

    Whenever the crew asks Rimmer a question, he whispers “Magic!” then – with accompanying twinkly sound effect – throws glitter in their eyes.

    #209345

    Ridley

    “Rimmer, am havin’ a heart attack!”
    “Are you?”
    “Look at me arm, man!”
    “Oh yeah.”

    #209407

    Pecospete666

    Kill off a character! The Simpsons are killing off a character this year! Bobbyllew is a good choice! Put him out of his misery of that mask!

    #209408

    Pecospete666

    Kill off a character! The Simpsons are killing off a character this year! Bobbyllew is a good choice! Put him out of his misery of the mask! Vogons intercepted this post the first time I put it up.

    #209412

    Ridley

    Whenever Lister tries to visit Kochanski’s quarters, John Barrowman’s head suddenly appears and sings at him, causing the last man alive to fall into a nearby space hedgerow.

    #209413

    si

    John Barrowman’s head suddenly appears and sings at him, causing the last man alive to fall into a nearby space hedgerow.

    Death by jazz hands.

    #209414

    Phil

    Red Christmas: Xtended

    #209415

    Ben Paddon

    Even better: Show Red Christmas to an audience, record the reaction, and add it to the episode. “Red Christmas, now with embarrassed coughing!”

    #209416

    performingmonkey

    The boys hit the edge of the universe, which turns out to be nothing more than a giant black cloth covered with thousands of LED bulbs (4.5W GU10s, cool white).

    #209417

    ori-STUDFARM

    Kryten discovers he has another brother called Kane who is residing on a remote and seemingly deserted colony. At first things seem to be going swimmingly until Lister discovers the evil plot that Kane has been hatching. Kane has been working with a giant intelligent snowflake entity that feeds off organic lifeforms. He has already given the lives of the colonists to the entity and now plans to feed it the crew. Lister tries to warn the others but nobody believes him because he is stupid and now no longer even knows what an iguana is… again.

    #209486

    steven87gill

    The only thing I ask for series 11 is that the production people don’t cake Chris Barrie with make up and slap (what look like) hair extensions on him.

    I mean, look here.

    http://www.ganymede.tv/wp-content/uploads/sfx-seriesx-rehearsals-350×422.jpg

    Look how much more he actually looks like Rimmer in that photo, when they’re not trying to force it with OTT make up and weird flat looking, overly gelled/extension-ised hair.

    Okay, so his hairline has receded a bit, but so what? Here, he naturally oozes *Rimmer-ness*

    (is that a word?)

    #209487

    Ridley

    I don’t want them to cake Robert Llewellyn in make-up or slap hair extensions on Craig Charles and Danny John-Jules.

    #209488

    peas_and_corn

    Put makeup on Robert? It gets worse than that, Ridley. I’ve heard that there’s talk of putting a weird mask on his head.

    #209490

    anniescribe

    I thought he looked a lot like Sam Rockwell in that one, actually.

    #209715

    Ridley

    It’s an awkward Valentine’s Day for Lister when he opens the card and his secret admirer’s handwriting is a match for his mother’s. Again.

    #211471

    Ridley

    Roboship:

    Kryten joins a crew full of androids but eventually leaves because something happens.

    So close.

    —-

    [Citation Needed]

    The absence of Holly begins to seriously affect the running of the ship. The crew decides to make Red Dwarf free access so that anyone can program. With hilarious consequences.

    #211474

    KyoSo

    Red Dwarf is blown up by Social Justice Simulants over Taiwan Tony’s voice.

    #211476

    Phil

    They all become Kryten.

    And by that I mean everyone chases Archie around the ship for 30 minutes.

    #211477

    SoundableObject

    The gang find a phone app that turns them all into Dwayne Dibbley. There are hilarious consequences.

    #211478

    Ridley

    They all become Michael Crichton to reuse the dinosaur and gorilla assets from series VIII.

    Amy no like Peter no like Amy Amy sad sad.

    #211479

    Phil

    They all become the Medi-Bot.

    #211483

    Nick R

    MEH-DI-BOT

    #211486

    Pete Part Three

    Continuing the theme of cast dictating the plots by wishing to try on alternate make-up, Lister, Cat and Kryten all die. 25 minutes of H-based hilarity ensure.

    #211487

    si

    Kryten gets dreadlocks.

    #211488

    evarofzentral

    They all become computers, have a sex change between XI and XII and then get written out of the show.

    #211489

    Ridley

    The Dwarfers go on a live tour but Lister is replaced by his doppelgänger from Cyberia played by Craig Bierko.

    Guest starring Peter Kay as Ricky Gervais.

    #211492

    Brayds2006

    They all become Holly, all at once. Hi-jinx ensue, until they all leave the ship when their legitimacy is questioned.

    #211493

    Phil

    They all become PecosPete666.

    #211494

    Ben Kirkham

    Now we know there’ll also be a Red Dwarf XII, is it possible XI will end with a great big cliffhanger?

    #211495

    Ridley

    They all become Celebrities Disfigured.

    #211496

    si

    They return to Coronation Street, only to find that Craig Charles has left.
    Simon Gregson finds it difficult adjusting to life in deep space.

    #211500

    performingmonkey

    Rimmer is about to ‘die’, and the only way of saving him is for Lister, Cat and Kryten to be miniaturised and injected, by a skutter, into his light bee. A sort of sequel to Terrorform, though not copying it, obviously……

    #211501

    Phil

    They all become bone marrow donors.

    #211502

    Ridley

    They all become man to man with Birdman.

    The Birdman Centipede

    #211511

    Brayds2006

    They all make blueberry muffins, like Martha used to make.

    #211535

    si

    Here’s a thought. Bring back Norm *and* Hattie as Holly. We know Holly’s been out of action, so now he/she can be back, but with the odd glitch – a ”fzzzt ” mid-sentence where they change, and back. I think that’d be funny, even if it’s just for one ep.

    #211536

    Ridley

    P2P already thought that and put it in a (Red Dwarf IX?) trailer.

    #211542

    si

    Oh. Didn’t know that. Oh well. It’s a good idea. Great minds, and all that.

    #211546

    Ridley
    #212000

    By Jove its holmes

    Rimmer – who treats women like garbage – wakes up to find out that the others have adjusted his hologrammatic settings so he looks just like this, clothes, accessories and all:
     photo 10648747_1477970135803170_8169610126313989634_o 14_zpsxon6gcq8.jpg

    #212176

    Pongo

    Rimmer mentions he had a secret dog on Red Dwarf before the accident. They open up some vents and find a race of humanoid dogs. The Cat gets tired of not being the only evolved pet and swaps bodies with Kryten. Then, a knock on the airlock: Kochanski is back – and she’s on her period.

    #212177

    si

    Camille returns, and Taiwan Tony falls in love with her, thinking that she is a female racially stereotypical vending machine called Ah-so Suzi.

    #212180

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    Camille returns, and Taiwan Tony falls in love with her, thinking that she is a female racially stereotypical vending machine called Ah-so Suzi.

    That’s the arc plot stretching across XI and XII.

    #212181

    Phil

    The crew encounters a rapping vending machine called Taiwan Tone-Def.

    #212182

    Pongo

    Holly reveals he actually put Lister in stasis to keep Rimmer sane. This episode is also a musical.

    #212183

    si

    Frankenstein awakes from a horrible dream whilst on Titan, and decides to stay away from that big black Tom.

    #212191

    Brayds2006

    Rimmer’s body is crushed by a Mexican vending machine (named El Taco Loco Chico) and his head is sewn onto Lister’s shoulder. No mention is made of how this is possible.

    #212192

    Ridley

    Rimmer discovers that he’s an extraterrestrial and a big fuss is made about him being an alien for thirty minutes before he remembers that he’s from Io. Episode ends with Lister winking at the cameria but it’s, like, a lizard eye or something.

    #212194

    peas_and_corn

    The crew lose Starbug and spend the whole of series XI looking or it. The arc ends when Rimmer asks “why are we looking? we have dozens of them”.

    #212198

    guvnor

    Since nobody from Red Dwarf has reported for duty or submitted any paperwork in over 3 million years, a “policies and procedures” drone is dispatched to ensure that all Jupiter Mining Corp employees abide by the rules and regulations of the Space Corp Directives handbook. In a hilarious B plot, regulations state that Cat must be neutered.

    #212209

    Ridley

    The musical episode has different songs depending on the individual viewer.

    #212210

    SoundableObject

    Rimmer realises he really likes curry. Lister gets annoyed as it is one of his two character traits. The episode ends with Archie landing in Rimmer’s curry and he declares that he is so disgusted that he’ll never eat another curry again. The hilarious coda is Cat walking in and declaring he really likes larger.

    #212211

    si

    Larger what?

    #212212

    SoundableObject

    Larger spelling mistakes.

    #212219

    Paul Muller

    Kill Crazy’s back, and he’s crazier than ever!

    After drifting in space for 16 years in a cramped Canary shuttle, he’s suffering from severe muscle wastage and bone loss, malnutrition and advanced thyroid cancer caused by solar radiation, alongside acute post traumatic stress disorder after being forced to feed on his dead crewmates to avoid starvation.

    Hilarious hijinks ensue!

    #212220

    Ridley

    Cat opens a real estate company called Realty Sucks on an anicent Indian burial ground haunted by Roman soldiers.

    #212493

    Pete Part Three

    Rimmer, Lister and Cat all become robots because why the fuck not? Then they all go to the circus.

    #212495

    Ridley

    Even though he’s wearing a cape out of season, the Dwarfers don’t realise that Cat has become a vampire until he starts trying to suck Rimmer.

    #212498

    Pete Tranter’s Sister

    The boys from the Dwarf stumble upon the near derelict base made out of the escape pods, shuttles and salvaged vessels that the regenerated crew and prisoners were forced to flee in for their lives and make their home for eternity.

    Mutiny, starvation, catastrophic engineering failures and sheer corruption have dwindled the population of tens of thousands down to only one man, Kill Crazy, who is seen chomping on Captain Hollister’s left buttock in a psychotic frenzy for survival.

    Rimmer promptly kicks him in the bollocks, eliciting pained laughter from Lister and they all go on their merry way again with nary a thought to the thousands they left to die in deep space while their city-sized mining vessel could comfortably hold numbers many times that.

    In the distance, an ice-cold, humanoid figure hurtles towards the surface. It’s Irene Edgington. The frozen, dead projectile smashes through the last of the frail shuttles and whacks Kill Crazy once more in the bollocks before his life is slowly taken away in the vacuum of space, all while having bruised and very tender testicles.

    Lister and Rimmer share a chuckle about how they could’ve easily saved Irene’s life as humans can easily survive for a few minutes in space without any major effects to their health.

    The theme tune plays, but there is a strange, almost unnoticed change to the words…

    Let me die, far away from here…

    Fun, fun, fun…

    #212503

    Pete Part Three

    Ainsley Harriott arrives and the crew have a cooking competition. Because that’s what this series needs. You twat.

    #212512

    Pete Part Three

    Lister gets his cock out and we all have a look.

    #212514

    Pete Tranter’s Sister

    Doug Naylor receives a new leg which is hilariously racist.

    #212516

    Brayds2006

    The Dwarfers meet the Go Compare guy. He sings for 19 minutes straight. At the end of the episode he trips over a box filled with forms and is flushed into space. Ironically, he wasn’t insured.

    #212536

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    Taiwan Tony and Kryten do a mind swap.

    #212540

    Pete Tranter’s Sister

    Ruby Wax and Ed Bye guest star as two rutting Pleasure GELFs in their natural form to a nauseous but curious audience.

    The audience wants to look away, but they can’t.

    #212564

    By Jove its holmes

    Clayton Marks comes back as Elvis and sings “In the Ghetto” to a sobbing Lister.

    #212565

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    In a sequel to Lemons, the crew meet God, but it turns out to just be another bloke who happens to be called “God”.

    #212566

    si

    In a sequel to both Lemons and Backwards, the crew meet a dog.

    #212567

    si

    Who, in a bizarre twist, just happens to have created the world.

    #212568

    Ridley

    Limes: a sequel to Lemons where the crew is sent back in time to a 19th century ship – the Scarlet Lilliputian – in a flat pack bookcase.

    #212569

    By Jove its holmes

    The Low Rimmer from Demons and Angela comes back and everyone admits he’s just a rip off of Tim Curry’s character from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    #212570

    Pete Tranter’s Sister

    Alexei Sayle makes a guest appearance as the creator of Better Than Life.

    #212571

    Phil

    ALF dreams he is a famous stand-up comic. David Spade guests stars in this episode.

    #212572

    Ridley

    Richard Armitage guest stars as The Great Red Dwarf.

    #212573

    SoundableObject

    Lister falls in love with Spare Hand 1.

    #212575

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    In a sequel to Entangled, nobody knows what the fuck’s going on.

    #212579

    Phil

    Is anyone else worried the Doug isn’t reading these?

    #212580

    Jonsmad

    An episode called “that fan that won a part on twitter” where the bloke who blacked up as Dwayne Dibbley at Dimension jump gets beamed aboard the ship via a UKTV competition. And hilarity ensues. With the catchphrase. What a dodgy dibbley!

    #212581

    By Jove its holmes

    some fan actually did <i>blackface</i>?! What’s next, a racist “Herrow Mistah!” vending machi – oh, wait…

    #212582

    Brayds2006

    Rimmer believes he has rediscovered the Luck virus, but it turns out to just be dishwashing liquid. He makes a face.

    #212583

    Bowen

    The blacked up Dwayne Dibbley. I remember him. What a …..

    #212584

    Bowen

    The blacked up Dwayne Dibbley. I remember him. What a ….. We could have nicked his camera Jon on the Sunday and probably should have.

    #212585

    Bowen

    There’s always a big cliffhanger when they film two shows or films back to back together. Think Back to the Future II and the like.

    #212586

    Jonsmad

    I wasn’t at Dimension Jump that year Mark. I only saw the online reports mate.

    #212587

    By Jove its holmes

    I think there’s a cafe in Dili, East Timor, poking fun at racist Westerners, that’s actually called the Herrow Mistah. This was reported a few years ago when Dili was teeming with fast talkers from the United Nations.

    #212588

    Pete Part Three

    Lister and Kochanski go to a wedding but forget to bring a present. Rimmer eats some shit. And then something about bone marrow, I suppose.

    #212596

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    The Dwarfers all go to an art gallery and play ‘Smeg’ (very similar rules to ‘Bogies’).

    #212723

    Ridley

    Fuzzy-felt episode.

    #213138

    pouncingmonkey

    How about a ‘Predators’ style episode. The crew are kidnapped while sleeping and wake up on a planet/moon controlled by stimulants to use as a luxury hunting reserve, and obviously they must find a way to escape back to the dwarf before being killed. The best part is how the story can be adapted to include almost any past monsters of the show, whether it be gelfs/beggs in league with the stimulants, or polymorphs, wax droids and psirens could be their as fellow prey ( cant think how the curry monster could be realistically recreated here). It would work well as an anniversary episode. I thought itd be so cool if xenomorphs were in ‘Predators’, I think it was hinted, but would have detracted from the main focus, it could have been lightly modified to be AVP3, it could even have been that before 2 flopped.

    #213143

    KyoSo

    The Dwarfers time travel to the Titanic, have a lovely meal in the dining hall, and leave. Meanwhile, Taiwan Tony puts on a one-man show for the skutters.

    #213327

    Magic Me

    Lister takes that library book back and receives his fine.

    #213330

    Phil

    They objectify then kill a woman.

    #213332

    Brayds2006

    Krytie TV is revived, now hosted by Dara O’Briain

    #213333

    Ben Paddon

    How about a ‘Predators’ style episode. The crew are kidnapped while sleeping and wake up on a planet/moon controlled by stimulants to use as a luxury hunting reserve

    Didn’t this basically happen in “Backwards”? (The novel, not the episode.)

    #213337

    Taiwan Tony

    Phil have you been reading my comments on the latest set report?

    http://www.ganymede.tv/2016/02/red-dwarf-xii-episode-3-set-report/#comment-82156

    I hate to say it but I was only speculating about it being about murdering women.

    #213354

    Magic Me

    Lister shouts “SMEG!” after stepping in some discarded chewing gum.

    #216511

    Pete Tranter’s Sister

    Twenty’s Plenty – The crew travel to an alternate dimension where all technology is gay and Kryten and Rimmer have to act camp in an overtly ’70s BBC sitcom-esque manner.

    #216513

    cwickham

    Astonishingly, I believe there are three posts in this thread that genuinely predict real plots from XI and XII.

    Also:

    Cat appears on Rolf Harris’ Animal Hospital TV show

    There’s a whole new angle they could go with this now. Doug is missing a trick if it doesn’t appear somewhere.

    #216517

    SoundableObject

    What are the three posts?

    #216518

    Pete Tranter’s Sister

    They are…

    – Doug Naylor receives a new leg which is hilariously racist

    – Rimmer goes mad and starts hitting Starbug with a branch

    – They all become Celebrities Disfigured

    #216519

    cwickham

    I’m not saying which, as some of them are in XII.

Jump to top / Jump to 'Recent Replies'

Viewing 320 posts - 1 through 320 (of 320 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Comments are closed.