Red Dwarf is Back on Netflix Streaming, but…

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  • #205644

    KyoSo

    …what the hell is this? I mean, I was excited that they didn’t have the Remastered I-III, but I hope someone tells them they accidentally replaced Epideme with the long-lost necrophilia episode.

    #205647

    Jonsmad

    Later the SS Herpes is infected with a chalmydionic microbe.

    #205648

    KyoSo

    I’m really curious now as to what they say about “Blue”, but I’m too scared to check.

    #205649

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Later the SS Herpes is infected with a chalmydionic microbe.

    Hall of fame.

    #205653

    Seb Patrick

    That is pretty much what happens, though, no?

    #205655

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    It wasn’t sexually transmitted, though.

    #205656

    John Hoare

    G&T Admin

    KISSING IS THE SAME AS SEX

    IT MAKES ME DO A NAUGHTY

    #205660

    Sam Johnson

    The synopsis for Krytie TV is also quite… er… questionable:

    “After being cornered and reprogrammed by restless, sex-starved prisoners, Kryten launches his own television station called Krytie TV.”

    Is “reprogramming” a euphemism for something else?

    #205663

    si

    No one’s even thought about reprogramming me for nearly 15 years now. :/

    #205664

    ori-STUDFARM

    Good job you have the ability for self programming. You’d ‘splode otherwise!

    #205668

    Jonsmad

    Unpack Rachel and get out the reprogramming kit.

    #205671

    anniescribe

    The description for Blue is adorable. Mama approves …

    #205678

    Reece

    The description for Blue is adorable. Mama approves …

    “Lister is feeling lonely, Rimmer rejoins the crew to give him a sympathy-fuck.”

    #205698

    anniescribe

    Hey, by his own assessment, Lister’s pretty good at it. At least as good as his pool playing. ;-)

    #205699

    Renegade Rob

    I wonder what it’ll say about Dear Dave. Something along the lines of “Lister exchanges fluids with a coffee and tea vending machine.”

    #205708

    anniescribe

    Lemons: “The Boys from the Dwarf accidentally end up back in time; Rimmer gets freaky with the savior of mankind … or does he?”

    #205709

    Pete Part Three

    Entangled: “28 minutes of stuff”.

    #205716

    anniescribe

    Trojan: “Not at all what you envision when you think of Trojan and Rimmers. Also, some moosing about aboard the Dwarf.”

    #205723

    mick

    >No one’s even thought about reprogramming me for nearly 15 years now. :/

    The last time I did that it took a week to dry the mattress.

    #205725

    Connell

    Back In The Red Part 3: “No, that’s not a typo – they actually made a third part.”

    #205885

    Ben Paddon

    Backwards: “After starting a fight in a pub, Kryten and Rimmer are hired as entertainers in a pub. Lister and the Cat drink lager.”

    #205902

    Ben Kirkham

    Pete Part 2: A weak plot device creates a dinosaur and the crew decide to feed it a cow and it shits everywhere.

    … or am I confusing that with a Shakespeare play?

    #205903

    Ben Paddon

    Blue: Lister’s wet dream about Rimmer leads the crew to a disaster in the ARG Unit.

    #205912

    SoundableObject

    Duct Soup: Lister needs a wee.

    #205914

    Connell

    ‘Backwards: .sdrawkcab sklat dna sklaw enoyreve ylsuht ,esrever ni sevom emiT .htraE fo noisrev sdrawkcab a si hcihw ,ytilaer etanretla na otni dna eloh emit a hguorht ylf werc ehT’

    #205940

    Alex

    Future Echoes: After Rimmer watches him explode, Lister tries to stop The Cat from getting a fishy mouthful.

    #205946

    ori-STUDFARM

    D.N.A.- Kryten the mechanoid becomes human, plays with his own nipples and then experiences his first erection. He doesn’t like it and so goes back to being a mechanoid again.

    #205954

    Connell

    Only The Good: Troubles ahed for the gang as the show faces cancellation. Can the writers pull of a quirky yet thrilling series finale to save the show from the scrapheap?

    No.

    #205955

    si

    Emohawk – Polymorph II: The crew encounter a domesticated Polymorph as a halfway plausible excuse to bring back Duane Dibbley and Ace Rimmer.

    #205956

    Ben Paddon

    Parallel Universe: Lister masturbates, with dire consequences.

    #205957

    SoundableObject

    Krytie TV: Lister masturbates, with dire consequences.

    #205958

    MANI506

    Back In The Red Part 2: Rimmer becomes the ship’s bike after downing the sexual magnetism virus.

    #205959

    MANI506

    Pete Part 1: Erections.

    #205962

    SoundableObject

    Krytie TV: Erections.

    #205963

    MANI506

    Pete Part 2: A disembodied erection right up the Cat’s arse.

    #205964

    genericnerdyusername

    I was going to make a comment on Pete Part Three, but I don’t I’m good enough friends with him to call him a knob without actual offence being taken. So I won’t.

    #205966

    anniescribe

    Out of Time: Rocks fall, everybody dies. Or reboots, whatever.

    #205967

    Pete Part Three

    >I was going to make a comment on Pete Part Three, but I don’t I’m good enough friends with him to call him a knob without actual offence being taken. So I won’t.

    It’s OK, I am a knob.

    #205969

    Seb Patrick

    Backwards: The crew land on a planet that seems similar to Earth in the year 1989. The Cat does a shit in some grass. They pay a taxi driver in advance to take them to a pub. They start an unprovoked fight with the patrons of said pub, then in retaliation eat a man’s pie. As punishment for the fight, Arthur Smith angrily gives Rimmer and Kryten a job. Lister and the Cat each drink a pint of bitter and then leave, in order get a lift to a local park. From there, they find a bicycle lying on the ground and generously return it to its picnicking owners, before leaving the planet in Starbug. Meanwhile, Kryten and Rimmer decide to quit their new job, and head to a cafe to watch a woman eat a snack before going for a swim in the same local park. While at the bottom of the lake they find the other Starbug and fly it back to Red Dwarf.

    #205970

    MANI506

    Arthur Smith could have said ‘after tonight’s gig, you’re out’? I don’t think I can explain away much else but this tiny detail works for me.

    #206180

    HelloMabel

    Marooned: Lister and Rimmer wait for Lister to die. They can’t hide how happy they are.

    Blue: Lister and Rimmer kiss. They can’t hide how happy they aren’t.

    #206190

    Pecospete666

    “It’s OK, I am a knob”

    I agree!

    Photobucket Pictures, Images and Photos

    #206192

    Ben Paddon

    Thanks For the Memory: Lister does a jigsaw so mundane he immediately forgets doing it.

    #206198

    ori-STUDFARM

    Back In The Red Part 2- Picking up where part 1 left off, the Red Dwarf crew stumble along and stretch out a story to the point where part 3 will take up the inaction.

    #206199

    Blisschick

    Not sure if it’s our player or Netflix, but the hubby started watching the series again, and for some reason the show looks as if it’s on film, rather than shot in video. It looks that way (so far) in the first two series. I hate the look. I’ll stick to my DVD’s, thanks.

    #206201

    Danny Stephenson

    G&T Admin

    Thanks For the Memory: Lister does a jigsaw so mundane he immediately forgets doing it

    I want that fucking jigsaw…

    #206202

    Jonsmad

    Bliss chick. Is it The remastered series then? cus that was film effect.

    #206203

    Blisschick

    I’m not sure…it was some version different from the DVD’s. Ben could probably tell you. I do know it had a video effect, though.

    #206205

    si

    Thanks For the Memory: Lister does a jigsaw so mundane he immediately forgets doing it

    I want that fucking jigsaw…

    If that’s not crying out to be Official Anniversary Merch, I don’t know what is.

    #206206

    Jonathan Capps

    G&T Admin

    It could be the PAL to NTSC conversion…

    #206207

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Something along those lines. It’s definitely the original series, but a really lossy compression/conversion has taken place at some point and changed the bastard frame rate.

    #206214

    anniescribe

    “Blue: Lister and Rimmer kiss. They can’t hide how happy they aren’t.”

    Mabel, much as I like this pairing, I think you nailed it. LOLOL

    #206224

    Blisschick

    >>Something along those lines. It’s definitely the original series, but a really lossy compression/conversion has taken place at some point and changed the bastard frame rate.

    Whatever the technical reason is that is totally over my head, it sucks.

    #206251

    Ben Paddon

    That’s BBC Worldwide for you. It took them years to fix Doctor Who, and they’re still missing “Planet of the Dead” and “A Christmas Carol”. Plus Hyperdrive is currently in 4:3 (it was in 16:9 when it was on the service two years ago) and the encode for The Office is terrible.

    I actually know one or two people at the executive level at BBC Worldwide. And, uh, yeah. They’re a bit shit.

    #218324

    flanl3

    So what if it’s a dead thread? I was too proud of thinking of this.

    Give & Take: After much debating, Cat finally gets tricked into filling Lister’s hole, before it’s discovered that Cat’s incapable of such and Lister will have to fill it himself.

    #218325

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Oh, so *this* is where I got the idea for “in brief” synopses for The Complete Guide. I’d forgotten about this thread.

    #218334

    KyoSo

    Hooray, I indirectly contributed to G&T.

    #218349

    McAleeCh

    Oh, so *this* is where I got the idea for “in brief” synopses for The Complete Guide. I’d forgotten about this thread.

    Please tell me you guys will be updating the guide once you’ve had the chance to go through the XI Blu-ray/DVD – I’m looking forward to seeing the ridiculous mini-synopses for the latest batch of episodes. XD

    #218350

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    There’s a plan. I planned it.

    #218352

    flanl3

    Okay, but what will you do once your plan gets a little messed up after you get three mill years out into space after one of your buddies couldn’t properly repair the site in time and it blows up on everyone?

    #218781

    Hamish

    Just spotted this beauty from Edmonton Public Library:
    “An unambitious slob has been awakened from a 3 million year sleep to find out he may be the last human alive. Hopelessly lost in space, this crew of mutant bachelors kill time and share adventures aboard the mining ship Red Dwarf.”
    https://epl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/1865690005_red_dwarf_xi

    …Mutant Bachelors?

    #218782

    Darrell

    You remember them, they toured with the Abnormal Platters, the Deformed Tremeloes and Freddie And The Fucked-Up Dreamers.

    #218815

    By Jove its holmes

    Well, we know from Timeslides that Rimmer evidently has a thing for underage teenage “temptresses” so is Lister/Caroline Carmen necro really implausible ;)

    #218830

    KyoSo

    Meanwhile in 2016, Red Dwarf is not available for streaming in the US period.

    And some of my discs are lost.

    #218832

    Jason aka Smeg4Brains

    And some of my discs are lost.

    You monster!

    #218833

    Ben Paddon

    The good news is that Red Dwarf is surprisingly affordable on DVD in the US – the individual series sets range from $6 to $22, or the complete I-VIII set is $60.

    #218834

    flanl3

    I think I bought my complete set for around $67, and the only problem I encountered was that I had to reassemble the box (it had come apart a little).

    #218835

    flanl3

    Well, not the Dave series, clearly, but the fact that I spent almost as much on those three as I did on the first eight isn’t really much of a surprise.

    #218837

    KyoSo

    The good news is that Red Dwarf is surprisingly affordable on DVD in the US

    I’m missing the episodes for I and V.

    #218841

    Jonsmad

    Twentica “Lister clamps Kryten’s Nipples to get him going before the discussion of a Big Bang”

    #218842

    By Jove its holmes

    I always thought that Lister could sing the 1997 Candle in the Wind about Rimmer: “You called out to our country, now you belong to Heaven – Shut up, Lister!”

    #218844

    flanl3

    Officer Rimmer: “Rimmer nuts everywhere in a dream then in his pants in real life.”

    #218864

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    we know from Timeslides that Rimmer evidently has a thing for underage teenage “temptresses”

    Wait, what?

    #218865

    By Jove its holmes

    RIMMER: “…if one of us had a photograph of a female-only naturist beach in Acapulco, full of bronzed, naked, uninhibited teenage temptresses, we could go there for a holiday?”

    #218866

    Ian Symes

    G&T Admin

    Yeah, that extra word in the original post is quite key.

    #218869

    Pete Part Three

    Is it OK if I burn Lolita?

    #218870

    Dave

    You know that thing when an ‘r’ and an ‘n’ right next to each other can look like an ‘m’?

    #218873

    KyoSo

    “Cat finds a lady cat. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not even close.”

    #218874

    By Jove its holmes

    Ian: But most people don’t refer to 18 and 19 year olds as “teenagers”, they call them “young adults”. That’s what gave me pause and wonder.

    #218875

    flanl3

    Is it OK if I burn Lolita?

    You know that thing when an ‘r’ and an ‘n’ right next to each other can look like an ‘m’?

    Eleven and sixty-seven hundredths out of ten on that comment there.

    #218876

    si

    most people don’t refer to 18 and 19 year olds as “teenagers”

    I refer to 18 and 19 year olds as “far too young”.
    Mind you, i refer to twenty-somethings in the same way.

    And some thirty-somethings.

    #218877

    si

    I don’t want to suggest how they refer to me.

    #218878

    By Jove its holmes

    Still makes you wonder how old Rimmer was when he photographed the girls at the nudist beach and why they didnt call the cops on him as a dirty pervert.

    #218879

    International Debris

    I just assumed it was a photograph he had acquired, rather than one he’d taken himself.

    #218880

    flanl3

    Except it would need to be developed.

    #218882

    Hamish

    Just like with Hitler in Fascist Dictator Monthly?

    #218884

    International Debris

    If we’re getting into ‘how do they redevelop photos from prints?’ territory we might as well do a scene-by-scene ‘hold on this doesn’t make sense’ thread.

    #218887

    flanl3

    we might as well do a scene-by-scene ‘hold on this doesn’t make sense’ thread.

    Might as well indeed.

    #218891

    Darrell

    You can turn photos back into negatives. It used to be a thing you could get done.

    #218918

    peas_and_corn

    So does that make a photo a positive?

    #221190

    Jonsmad

    Cured: Lister finally receives treatment, for the ancient necrophilia incidental STD.

    #224903

    Hamish

    Another winner from Edmonton Public Library:

    “The Emmy-winning comedy returns for more hilarious intergalactic adventures, with the original cast on board. Viewers see the gang stranded in a scientific research center, contending with out of control, and Rimmer decides to leave Red Dwarf in search of a dimension where he isn’t such a giant loser.”

    https://epl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/2017535005

    #224904

    Ben Saunders

    Contending with out of control what?

    #224905

    KyoSo

    Series XII was shit. The show’s had the crew contend with out of control before, and I can’t imagine why they thought it could ever live up to the same heights. 8/10.

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