M-Corp Let's Talk About (UKTV) DwarfCast Review Let's Talk About (Dave)
Skipper Let's Talk About (UKTV) DwarfCast Review Let's Talk About (Dave)

Series II Deleted Scenes

While the scenes deleted from Series I were entertaining purely for the curiosity value, the ones from Series II are actually very funny. Most of them are funny enough to have fitted into the first series, and would have no trouble at all getting into Series VII or VIII…

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Dark Ages

The first episodes of Rob Grant’s historical sit-com were broadcast on the day of my nan’s funeral. I don’t know which event depressed me the most. At the time, I thought it was utter shite from start to finish. Surely, I must have made a mistake. It was written by one half of the team […]

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Preorder-me-do!

Yes, Play.com have now got Red Dwarf IIIlisted, and avaliable to preorder for the frankly ludicrous price of £14.99 including delivery. Blimey. They have also been known to deliver DVDs a couple of days before the official release date, so if you fancy a chance of getting it over the weekend rather than waiting until Monday (the official release date is the 3rd November), I advise you go with them.

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Dr. Graham told me everything

It’s Chris Barrie who plays the man, you know. As you’ve probably guessed, we’ve added a load of Confidence and Paranoia stuff to the Episodes section – reviews, scene summary and supporting characters. The actual capsules for this episode and Waiting For Godwill follow shortly. Before you mention it, only two updates this week is shoddy. But it’s the summer holidays now! Plus, a new system which will allow us to post much more news is in development…

The official site reports that the BBC TWO repeats have been postponed for a fortnight. Fourteen days. Two weeks. Absolutely-dutely. This is shite, obviously. The repeats have instigated massive discussions on various internet fora, which has got to be good for the show. The official site also has an article about the use of food in the show, which is, as ever, marvellous. Once again, The Red Dwarf Zone has beaten us to a couple of newsworthy pieces – ‘smeg’ has been placed at #15 in a list of best sit-com catchphrases, and Amazon have listed the Series IV DVD. Spot the huge mistake in their listing – I certainly won’t be ordering from them.

Thanks to Groovetown‘s Rick Mason for pointing out a spelling mistake in our previous update. Ironically, it was in a sentence about us correct spelling errors elsewhere on the site. Thanks, Rick, you little cnut. In other news – GET THE TICKLE! Jon is back in the Big Brother house! In your face, Leigh Loveday!

Ian’s Newsround – 90 Bloody Minutes!

For each of the previous DVDs, the total running time for extras, excluding commentary tracks, ran to about ninety minutes. For Series III and IV, they’ll beat this with a single documentary. I’ve read the news story through several times to make sure I’ve got it right. I’ve also made my arms raw with the amount of pinching that has taken place. But no doubt about it – each series-specific documentary will be an hour and a half long. The features will be composed of thirteen (13) interviews – Mike Agnew, Chris Barrie, Howard Burden, tall genius Ed Bye, Craig Charles, Andrea Finch (Pennell), ‘Fourth Dwarfer’ Tony Hawks, Hattie Hayridge, Danny John-Jules, Gordon Kennedy, Bob Llewellyn, Ugod Naylor and Sir Peter Wragg. All the interviews were conducted by top workaholic Andrew Ellard, who, I can exclusively report, wore his lucky shirt on Saturday night at DJ. The Cat would not approve. Good job he’s a fictional character, eh?

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Fansite Updates and Me

Good news, everyone! Cappsy’s site The White Hole has a great new section; Red Dwarf and Me, which has fans reminiscing about our favourite show. I’m sending in my answers soon; get in contact with him if you want to add yours. He also warns that his excellent Downloads section will be offline between the 6th-21st this month, so get downloading if you want anything now. He runs his own server, the git. In other fansite news, both Back In The Red and Groovetown have also been updated. The official Norman Lovett site hasn’t appeared yet though, despite it being promised for late June. Wah.

Here at G&T we’ve continued to do some tweaking; hopefully you’ll find the newly-added Quick Links on the navbar useful. Expect some rather larger changes in the upcoming couple of months, as there are some major things happening behind-the-scenes (indeed, it’s one of the reasons why this isn’t a very substantial update…) Don’t forget the update on the official site tomorrow – we’ll have our Newsround Saturday, and an extensive DVD section update on Sunday.

SFX Reader Awards

Sorry this news is a bit late; we couldn’t afford to go to the SFX Event, or even buy SFX on the day of release. Wah. Anyway, as reported a while back, Chris Barrie hosted the SFX Reader Awards there on the 17th May, and by the magazine’s own account, “‘massive balls up’ is an understatement.” Apparently, “the entire video system conked out. It was bad enough that we couldn’t show clips of the nominees; even worse, no-one got to see the acceptance speeches that were specially filmed for us…”. Not that it mattered: “…it did give host Chris Barrie a chance to shine. He later told us he actually enjoyed the experience, ad-libbing his way through. He certainly earnt his money that night…” Excellent. Dave Golder (the editor) even thanks him for saving the ceremony, and “staying a gentlemen when he had every right to throw a star tantrum”. For full coverage of it, buy SFX #106 (July 2003), out in shops now, which features a couple of great (but far too small) piccies of Chris himself. And best of all, no WRONG OPINIONS about Red Dwarf.

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Tie Me Merchandise Down, Sport! (Updated)

We apologise to Australians everywhere. However, we bring good news. The Red Dwarf Shop Australia has now opened! Contained within are some lovely pieces of merchandise, although, like all pieces these days, they are plastered with a pencil-shaped version of the ship. Their clothing is very smart however – I would be proud to walk around in either the Polo Shirt or the long-sleeved T-shirt. Another piece of good merchandise-related news – the mobile phone logosare now ready to download! I recommend #400120 and #400124. Not #400129, however. That can fuck off. They’ve also got rid of the nasty fixed width problem in the Arcade section, which is good news all round.

Onto G&T news, you’ve probably already noticed the excellent search facility on the navigation bar. Google has now indexed 69, count ’em, G&T documents, and they’re fully searchable. Newer documents aren’t currently included; we have to wait for Google to get up to speed. Shouldn’t take too long however, Google are lovely. A few fun stats: 25 pages contain the word ‘smeg’, 10 contain the word ‘fuck’, only one contains the word ‘cunt’ and a whopping 65 contain the phrase ‘Red Dwarf’. There are two documents that are not yet indexed by Google. seeing as we’ve only just uploaded them. Firstly, there’s an examination of the ending to Series VI. We love this ending to bits, and we jumped at the chance to discuss anything and everything related to it. There’s also a review of the Official Companion, which contains a fantastic amount of pedantry. This is something we intend to do for all of the books, and we’re shitting ourselves at the prospect of searching for mistakes in every single edition of the Programme Guide

A couple of little points to finish off with – SmegWeb is now officially dead. It really is the end of an era, even though all we’ve lost is a notice saying that the site would not be returning in the near future. We would also like to draw your attention to this. It is the final, conclusive piece of proof that Jon Tickle should have won Big Brother. Jon Tickle – Chosen by God. Adored by women. Once met Craig Charles.

UPDATE 30/6/03: The Better Dead Than Smeg article has had an update, to add some information and to clarify the questions about the ending shown on Smeg Ups. We would welcome your theories, if you have any. Or even the truth, if anyone who knows is reading. Next content update on Wednesday.