Red Dwarf: The Complete Guide To Almost Everything

Do you remember a time, a few years either side of the turn of the century, when the internet was mostly comprised of auto-playing midi files and non-HD porn? Back then, if you searched Yahoo, or Alta Vista, or Lycos, you could find tonnes of Geocities-hosted web pages for each and every one of your favourite TV shows, which invariably featured the same handful of low-res jpegs, lists of quotes, episode guides and those ubiquitous auto-playing midi files. Then blogging came along, and we all realised that we could just write about our opinions on our favourite shows, rather than trying to provide a comprehensive mine of information, given that new-fangled things like Google and Wikipedia could do that much better.

So things like episode guides disappeared from fansites. Not entirely, but they were no longer an essential component. It was only recently that we realised that G&T had nothing even resembling such a guide – not even a list of episodes anywhere. When we started, in 2002, we launched an ambitious project of producing detailed “capsules” for every episode, but, well, you can see how that went. We got to thinking that it might be fun to try and write an episode guide now, and see where it ended up. As it turns out, it kind of got out of hand…

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GO AND BUY JUST THE SMEGS AT SOME POINT

Well, cuntie, today’s the day. Just The Smegs should be in shops all over the country as we literally speak. We might have had the review up already, but the test disc got delivered to John Hoare’s house, and now it needs to go to a special cleaners to remove the semen and faeces. In the meantime, why not go to the new microsite, with its stupid fixed width, annoying intro and genuinely excellent Rob and Doug interview!

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Gany Made in Titan

You see, because the box says “Made in Titan”, and we’re Ganymede and… oh, look, forget it.

Anyway, do you want to win a copy of Bodysnatcher? Of course you do. And you already can. But do you ALSO want to win a copy of Just the Smegs AND a weird funky headset thing worn by Ed Bye during the making of the Remastered episodes? You do? Well, aren’t we a greedy ungrateful bastard? Luckily, GNP, BBC Worldwide and Youtube are your friend.

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