• About
• News
• Articles
• Downloads
• Forum
• Contact

• view
• contact

Member for: 2 years 35 weeks
Website: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=798285461
Location: In the corner of the kitchen, With the laptop, Sheffield

Biography

Simon Bromley: man or myth?

Answers on a postcard please.

Simon Bromley is a bespectacled, bearded, balding human male, who has just turned thirty-one, safe in the knowledge that he did nothing in his teens, and nothing in his twenties either. Following an unfortunate experience which saw him being found in the back yard of his flat in just his underpants, and spending two weeks in hospital, he now spends his time back at his parents’ home in the south of Sheffield. The result of only three and a half examples of his parents getting intimate during 1978, he spewed forth in January the following year.
He studied Science Fiction and Drama at the University of Glamorgan, but got a degree in neither. This wasn’t, sadly, because he was constantly pissed in the Union Bar, sleeping with girls he barely knew, but rather because of a far less exciting failure to hand in barely any written work over the course of three years, primarily due to playing Scrabble over the internet in the IT suite.
He finally found meaningful employment (for seven months) working on the checkout at a discount store, ‘bip!’-ping away for eight hours a day, getting cramp in his arse, and occasionally giving people the wrong change. However, after four months on the sick, he finally decided he wasn’t going back, and quit. He is also still single, having not had a girlfriend in over nine years. His last relationship ended shortly after an incident involving his girlfriend, a condom, an epileptic fit, and waking up to find his mum sat on the edge of the bed. Get to know him a little better and he’ll be happy to tell you the whole of that anecdote.

His favourite colour is puce.