Oh, it’s all kicking off now. There I was, idly browsing the British Board of Film Classification‘s website, when I noticed that the bloody Series III DVD extras are on there!

Here’s a quick rundown: Hattie’s DJ Diary will last for nine minutes and four seconds. That’s about 2.17 seconds for each attendee! The Mel Bibby tribute, Building a Better Universe will last for almost exactly eight minutes – one minute fifteen for each series that he worked on! Next up, the Food featurette will last for 3 minutes 35 seconds, which, funnily enough, is more or less the same length as James Brown’s I Got You (I Feel Good). Utter glee: 26 minutes and 41 seconds of deleted scenes! That’s more or less an entire episode’s worth of material! The final straightforward extra is 5 minutes and 34 seconds worth of Smeg Ups.

Now, here’s the interesting bits. There’s an extra listed called ‘RED DWARF – POLYMORPH’, which lasts for eleven minutes and seventeen seconds. Is this the Rob/Doug/Ed Six of the Best easter egg? The previous ones were only a few minutes long. It’s certainly baffling. If it’s not the easter egg, I don’t know what it is. Next, another odd one – a bonus deleted scene for Polymorph, lasting just 24 seconds. Very weird – why isn’t it just part of the main deleted scenes feature? It may be an easter egg. But then, given that there’s only going to be three easter eggs, what are the three ‘untitled’ pieces, lasting one minute sixteen seconds, sixteen seconds and thirty-five seconds? Are they menus? Are they trailers? Why were they submitted without names? We simply don’t know.

So far, the All Change documentary and the raw effects footage have not been listed. Backwards – Forwards, however, was listed some months ago. The isolated music cues and talking book chapters are also unlisted, but then, they were never listed for the Series I and II DVDs. Hopefully, the remaining bits will show up in the next couple of days.

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