Bits and Madges News Surely that’s the weakest headline I’ve ever done? No, don’t worry; there’s a worse one further down. Anyway, more not-particuarly-enlightening news from me, I’m afraid, so I’ve lumped it all together. At least I make up for that by being a rambling cock. Britain’s Worst Programme Just a reminder that this goes out on Saturday 10th, BBC TWO, 9:00pm – 11:55pm. It’s the Top 50 countdown; the 10 argument shows should be on the week after. Yeah, yeah, Ian’s already done a good article about it recently, but not only do I give you the time of the broadcast, but I’ll give you some free snide comments as well. For instance: The Radio Times says “We are told that “The programme-makers are being secretive about which sitcoms have made the top 50, let alone the top 10”, which is presumably why the Top 50 was announced in a BBC press release on the 30th December. OH. Or: If the clips used are from the Re-mastered series, like that twatting pile of Dawn French bollocks, there will be trouble. I could go on. But I’ll spare you. To be honest though, despite the entire concept of the programme being a bit dodgy, it does actually have the potential to be quite entertaining. PLEASE don’t fuck it up, BBC… Incidentally, as Darrell has pointed out, Jack Dee is pictured in a recreation of the Fawlty Towers set in next week’s RT; guess what programme he’s arguing for? If you want an obnoxiously awful link, I feel the same way about that piccy as I do about the recreation of the Series 1/2 sleeping quarters in Back In The Red; a nice idea, but all it does is invite comparisons as to exactly what they got wrong. To be fair, they probably weren’t aiming for accuracy in the Fawlty recreation (too expensive, no doubt) – more just to evoke the feeling of the set – in that, it’s fairly successful. It’s actually a pretty nice idea for the links; I hope that the idea is used throughout the ten argument shows (which seems likely), and wasn’t just done for a publicity photo (which doesn’t). Either way, the Jack Dee one should be good; his argument is: “In a nutshell, it’s still funnier than the rest”. He’s got the right idea; concentrating on how funny it is, rather than trying to appear clever. Of course, when discussing the next week’s RT, what I REALLY want to know of course, is why Dwarf isn’t featured in the article 20 programmes that changed our world. The magazine really has dumbed down these past few years. VII Repeats Starting Sunday 11th, at 11:30pm on BBC TWO. Isn’t it lovely to see it listed as Red Dwarf VII in the RT? Although it seems bloody random whenever a run of Dwarf is on as to whether to list the roman numerals or not; in the original broadcasts of VII, the show was labelled with them on-screen for the first time, but peversely not in the Radio Times, which had previously always done so since Series III. As you all know, VII starts off with Tikka to Ride, so I might as well expound my well-rehearsed opinion: it starts off abominably (the cliffhanger resolution and the lost curry scene being particular lowlights), but picks up considerably after that, especially with the Texas Book Depository scene. “I’ve always been a bit of a technical whiz when it comes to these kinda gizmos!” Actually, once the crew has arrived in Dallas, the show also has a gorgeous look and feel to it; the moments after the crew discover the city is deserted is very spooky, and the actual assasination sequence itself is just brilliantly done. A very different feel to previous series, but if only they could have kept it up, it would have been fantastic. That “Hey, that’d make a pretty neat speech that / It did” exchange can fuck off though. And I still think my version of the ending, where the guilt-free Kryten beats up Lister instead of the entire crew is far better, and I’ll keep saying it until someone agrees. What? News? Oh, OK. The UK Dwarf Tracker shows that the next ep is scheduled on Sunday 18th, also at 11:30pm; hopefully the series will be going out in a regular timeslot. Stoke Me A Clipper is a bit of a mixture; an excOK, OK, I’LL STOP. Hitting My G-Spot Three items added at The Prop Store! And they’re all great. Let’s see what we’ve got in the magic bag, here: One of the photographs from Timeslides, at £145; A Zero G magazine as used in the first two series at £199 (WOO BLOODY HELL WANT NEED WAH); and Melly’s costume from Dimension Jump at £585. Marvellous. Oh, and I might as well use this opportunity to say that the set for Melly’s office in Dimension Jump is one of the dodgiest in Dwarf history, showing its origins rather too clearly. It’s hideous! That’s the best design they could come up with? And finally… Just read this post on ATVRD by the excellent Hercule Platini. And weep.