TOS is a curious beast. One week, it makes us all want to ejaculate into our corn flakes, the next week we react with a simple “oh”. And that’s the case this week, where the main story is that some people are selling a game. I shouldn’t mock; Simulant’s Revenge does look good, and I really want to play it. Unfortunately, my phone can barely handle text messages, let alone snazzy games. Nevertheless, if you’ve got one of those combinations of numbers and the occassional letter, you too can marvel at the utterly undetailed Starbug on the menu screen. I wonder if the Arcade will ever be updated?

The other update (yes, they’ve updated it twice, twice, two) this week is a Series IV Quiz. I only got 19 out of 20. Wah! I hereby resign my post as the most knowledgable guy on the ship. Still, this score was enough for me to be rewarded with a picture of Ace Rimmer, and the exclamation “What a guy”. Hooray!

NEWSROUND EXTRA: Better Than Life #46 arrived today. Hooray! It’s a whopping 36 pages long, and features all the latest news, such as Red Dwarf IV and Brittas Series Three coming out on DVD. There’s also a “Memories of Red Dwarf” feature, a top ten of Red Dwarf romances, some limericks by Cpt-D, loads of reviews, Ruth Latchford’s commentary report and a piece of fan-fic by TV’s own Curtis Threadgold. Chairman Jane (tattoo lady)’s editorial says “I can’t believe how fast the time goes between BTLs”. It’s been half a year since the last one!

There’s going to be a site update later, unless I fall asleep, slumped over my keyboard. Stick around, we’re building up to a big climax.

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