Sniff. Shed a tear, ladies and gentlemen, for Matt’s site Back In The Red. Whilst he doesn’t rule out doing anything to the site in the future, currently he CAN’T BE ARSED. Sob. A great shame actually, as some of the news reporting beat us into a cocked hat. COCK. He did, however, kindly give us permission to publish the following; an article with Pauline Bailey, aka Marilyn Monroe in Meltdown. Good luck everyone, here it comes:

1. How long have you been a Marilyn Monroe impersonator and how did you start?
About 13 years. I’ve always liked vintage clothes and had blond hair – people kept on saying that I looked like Marilyn so I joined a lookalike agency and haven’t looked back!

2. How did you get the part in Red Dwarf?
Through my agency. It was one of the first jobs I ever did.

3. How long were you on set?
It’s hard to remember, but I think it was for about a week (in studio and on location).

4. What did you think of the cast, crew and writers during your brief Red Dwarf appearance?
I thought that everyone was very down-to-earth, friendly and helpful. I’ve not since met such a great buch of guys – they all got on very well together and made me feel part of the show.

5. Bar yourself, in all honesty, which of the other inpersonators was your favourite?
Clayton Mark (Elvis). I’ve known him for some time now and have worked with him on numerous occasions.

6. Have you done any other TV or Movie work before or since Red Dwarf?
Yes, too many to mention,really. I’ve made over 50 appearances on tv, 15 commercials and acted in a UK movie and on the stage. I sing Marilyn songs (live) all over europe. My last appearance was on ‘The Weakest Link”!

I always fondly remember being on the show and consider it one the most enjoyable experiences of my career. It’s not every day that a girl gets to shoot a machine-gun! :-)

Best wishes – (Miss) Pauline Bailey

What a lovely woman. Anyway, what with BITR on hold, a gap exists for a new site – and wouldn’t you know, a new one popped up yesterday. Totally Smegged (You’re Smegged Mate!) frankly wins bonus points from the start with the use of the term webmistress, which made me feel all tingly in my rude bits. It also wins points for this, as well.

What with all the latest developments in various Dwarf sites, you’ll have noticed that I’ve also completely updated the Quick Links; if you have an RD site we’ll add you if you contact us, as long as you keep it vaguely updated. Personally, I’m still looking forward to the The Red Dwarf Zone relaunch. (Ours is still being worked on, incidentally…)

Meanwhile, in case you’re worried about all this getting rather incestuous, expect a nice big article from me tomorrow, for the first time in ages. No, honest.

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