Oh, bog all.

How long have we been out? According to the navicomp, over a week. Strange – the drive interface has been upgraded, and so have the engines…

So, fuck all has been going on, then. Nevertheless, I shall try and dredge up some of my bollocks. Ouch.

• Even the TOS is finding it difficult at the moment. There was one interesting article about The Stamp Centre though; some new mugs with “funky cast-and-spacecraft designs” are planned for August-September release. Presumably August 2047 ha ha ha ha fucking hilarious well done. Also to be released soon is a Cat First Day Cover (probably signed), and – this is the biggie – proper Red Dwarf stamps! The prototype collectors sheet shows the designs; a few too many from Series VII/VIII, I fear. Six of them, if my histo-chip serves me correctly.
• The Red Dwarf Zone has a bit of news about a BBC DVD publicity launch that Robert Llewellyn mentioned on his guestbook the other day. A guestbook that I can’t link to, and therefore generate more traffic for, but never mind. So I’ll link to RDZ’s image instead. Basically, lots of sales = good, and Iain Lee is a stupid fool who can’t be bothered researching who the fuck he is supposed to be announcing. Honestly – if only we’d known about it, we would have turned up and caused trouble. Why the fuck weren’t we told? Oh.
• Following on from this, Rob also mentions that him and Craig have been talking about “not resting on our histories/laurels and actually doing something new, together, that’s funny”. Apparently they “get on very well, and have a couple of ideas stewing away which we really must get into shape”. This can only be excellent; Rob is lovely and hilarious, and Craig Charles, whilst acting a bit of a prick recently, can also be hilarious. Do you know anyone else who could have made the “Yeah, I’m appealing!” joke so amusing?
• Oh, and it’s Beyond A Joke tonight, BBC TWO, 11:20pm. As least scheduling it near Dead Ringers makes it seem better than it is. How can the dream team of Robert Llewellyn, Doug Naylor, and Ed Bye make something that is mainly so rubbish? Standard great bit, mind you: “Mmmm, you smell good. / Thanks!”
• Some Prop Store stuff then; the prize item being Lister’s Cod Piece from Polymorph. This frankly iconic prop (and only Dwarf would have an iconic prop that is a cod piece) is going for the princely sum of £349, and is “painted black” with “black straps for a comfortable and secure fit”. And now, the funniest DVD grab ever: Ho! There’s also a couple of Series VIII ship uniforms going for £155 and £125 respectively. Bastard random Prop Store watermarks.
• Continuing our impromptu awards ceremony: Sci-Fi Online wins the award for best news report ever, honest. Coughing a month too early there. Sci-Fi Online also win “best site design”, naturally. Still, this does come from a site which has a writer whose biog states that she “aims to prove that the genre is sexy and that not all fans are anoraks”. Oh, fuck off!
• And finally – it’s always nice for people to link to us. We really appreciate it. We don’t care who you are, or what you do; we’re always happy if you want to tell people about the magic of us. However, you might wonder whether the person who runs Titan Exploration (scroll down to the bottom) has actually read the site…

More from us later today, probably; I’ll get my arse in gear and do something. Maybe. I might just wank off to pirated R18s instead.