Today I received a lovely new Aston Villa goalkeeper replica shirt. I had stipulated that the name and number “Rimmer, 1” be printed on the back. I did this for two reasons. Firstly, to acknowledge Jimmy Rimmer, former Villa keeper, and secondly to show my devotion to all things Dwarf.

All was well until my friend reminded me of the other meaning of Rimmer and then started to laugh uncontrollably. The bastard.

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