John’s Newsround – 30/7/05 News Posted by John Hoare on 30th July 2005, 18:44 TOS stuff. And Dwarf wins second place in SFX‘s poll for the best British SF series – first place, predictably, going to Who. Splendid. And a sign that Dwarf is not only alive and kicking (great DVDs, new merchandise, fandom – regardless of no new episodes, or Movie uncertantity). So why is it consistantly ignored pretty much everywhere, even in the SF press? Ah well, at least SFX (probably) deign not to be snotty about the series for once, in the SFX Collection: Best Of British, which goes on sale on Monday – and includes the full poll results, and an interview with Doug Naylor. Excellent. As for the other news item: bloody hell. A quick rundown of the merchandise in development, then – read the TOS article for the information, and read my stuff for the uninformed opinion, as I’m not going to waste time rephrasing everthing. Red Dwarf Headknockers: I can’t find the link in Wormholes, but here’s some from elsewhere. Superb. We’re told that Rimmer, Lister and Kryten ones are in development, amongst others – in a shock move, I demand a Kochanski one. Because I can then set her nodding and pretend she’s sucking me off. Mr Flibble Glove Puppets: OH BRILLIANT WOW EXCELLENT LOVELY BRILL FAB COR. The sad thing is, this will almost certainly mean hex-vision fights at future Dimension Jumps… 2006 Calendars: One Australian, and one UK. Excellent – I was hoping for one of these at some point. I do hope they cover the entire eight series, rather than concentrating too much on VII/VIII, and don’t just feature the Re-mastered versions of the ships, like some merchandise. I know there’s more material available for VII/VIII/Re-mastered, but there is still stuff you can use for previous series. Excellent that the UK one will feature the Space Corps Directives – because dammit, they never fail to amuse. I’ll forego my tedious running jokes argument here. Czech DVD Release: “All four are vanilla (extras-free) releases based on the Czech broadcast versions, which means I to III will be remastered.” I’ll waste no more time on this, I think. RokPlayer: Hooray for us! I reiterate that I think this is pretty pointless, and I certainly won’t be buying it, but if 2entertain think they can make money out of it, good luck to them. Filmcells: “A show shot on video”. I’ll repeat that: “A show shot on video”. Now, could all people who review Dwarf DVDs please remember this, and stop talking about the quality of the picture in filmlike terms? Also: let’s see when VII comes out whether the reviewers go on about the show being shot on film again. Because it automatically renders their opinions irrelevant. Erm, sorry. I think these look great, actually – I love publicity photos of all kinds. I’ve never understood why photo galleries get such a bad rap on DVDs – just because they aren’t moving, that suddenly makes them worthless? Photography is an artform as well, you know. A few of these will be making it onto my wall for sure. Although I can’t deny that I’d rather have a sliver of digi-beta rushes tape in a frame. “It’s an exciting time for series fans and collectors!” indeed. What were people saying about Dwarf being dead, again?