Ungrateful Bastards, Part Two

I’m sure we’re all agreed that TOS is one of the best official sites for a TV show around, if not the best. I can’t think of any other DVD releases that get frequent production updates posted online by the actual bloke responsible. But even so, remember this?

Let’s have a look at what we could have won…

• “An animated Grant Naylor series created in 1992 which I’m developing for TV called: Weird City. You’ll be the first people to see the storyboards.”
• “A weekly column called D-Tales: anecdotes from past times on the small rouge one – a bit like the stuff I wrote for the Red Dwarf VIII book.”
• The requirement to pass tests to gain entry to a special section of the Officer’s Club.
• “At some point we’re going to try and include Red Dwarf animated shorts and also an animated version of Asso – Spanish Detective – based on the character Rob and I first wrote for the Radio 4 sketch show Son of Cliché.
• “The Cat’s Challenge”, in which readers would win a prize if they were judged to be more handsome than the Cat.
• “Plus pictures of Kristine Kochanski in the nude!!! Yes – nude!!!”

Bloody hell, how fantastic would most of that have been? Weird City was presumably just never picked up, or Doug decided to concentrate on the movie. But imagine, just imagine, a weekly column by Doug Naylor. Last time I did that, it took me a week to clean the sheets. I assume that the animated Dwarf and Asso fell foul of rights issues. But they too would have been ace.

I’m trying to decide whether or not The Cat’s Challenge was a joke. It would have been great if there was a weekly feature in which TOS completely took the piss out of reader’s ugly faces, though. By the way – excellent use of that picture from the Making Of book in that skit.

Oh, and the stuff about Kochanski nude must have been a joke as well. Bah. Now we’ll never see Chloe Annett’s foaming twat.