Sorry for being shit lately. It’s all John’s fault. Anyway, the main TOS story is, of course, the Series VII menus. Lovely lovely lovely lovely. The main menus for each disc look excellent, with the options spread across four vidscreens, rather than just two. It gives the extra extras, IDW and the Fan Films a deservedly prominent position.

There does seem to be a hint of faff surrounding the episode menus. Say, for some bizarre reason, you really felt like watching Ouroboros. Now, the first thing to do in this situation is to seek professional help. But let’s forget about that for now and go back to this hypothetical situation. You want to watch Ouroboros, so you click “select episode”, then “Ouroboros“, then either the normal or Xtended version, then you have to click “play episode”, then you DIE of FAFFING AROUND.

Although, to be fair, there is no other way they could have done it. It’s just a consequence of having so many options and so much stuff on the disc, and I’d much rather have a bit of faff than no such options.

While we’re vaguely on the subject of the episode menus – interesting to note that “Previously…/Titles” is an option on the Nanarchy menu. All previous series have had the first chapter on the menu as the first scene post-titles. However, given that five episodes of VII do not start with the title sequence, I guess things have changed in this respect. We’ll have to wait for the chapter titles to be released before we know for sure, obviously.

We’ll let you try and figure out which extras correspond to which prop in the sleeping quarters for yourselves. I’m more interested in Ellard’s sneaky reference to the Easter Eggs, and the deliberate red-herrings. Well, from the looks of things, the bazookoid on the scanner table, the lobster, the emergency ammo and Caroline Carmen’s arm could be egg locations… but I’m willing to bet money that none of them are.

One thing this update has reinforced is the sheer size of the release. It’s going to take me a full day to view all the content, rather than the full afternoon that previous releases have occupied. I really can’t wait.

But anyway. Other news. A new series of Scrapheap Challenge starts tomorrow, 18th September, at 17:35 on Channel 4. Scrapheap is bloody great, but I never seem to catch it. I’ll make sure I make the effort this time round.

Also, Norman Lovett has signed up for Collectormania, which is being held in Mil-ton Keynes in a couple of weeks time. Possibly a good chance for those who missed out on his cut-short autograph session at DJ to get stuff signed. Maybe he’ll take the piss out of your hair, like he did with mine.

And finally, the Dwarf DVDs have been released to a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys. Was the man who burned Joan of Arc simply wasting good matches?

32 comments on “Ian’s Newsround – 17/09/05

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  • How come the French and the Czech DVDs are the remastered ones?

    This doesn’t really fit with this article, but:

    Why, if the remastereds are doing well in foreign countries and (I think) more popular in America, did they not remaster Series 4-6 (and I guess 7, as it wouldn’t fit in with the others)? I mean, they might have made a profit on it.
    That’s not to say they would be better, by the way.

  • The reason the Re-Mastered series do well in foreign countries is generally because it’s the only version of the series they know. I’m sure if they were familiar with the original series before the Re-Mastered series were produced, they’d have reacted in the same way we did.

  • “Say, for some bizarre reason, you really felt like watching Ouroboros. Now, the first thing to do in this situation is to seek professional help.”

    Well, I feel like watching it because I haven’t seen it for a fucking age (as has been my policy of watching no Dwarf leading up to the DVD releases so that the eps feel more ‘fresh’). Of course, I know I’m not suddenly going to go ‘Fucking hell, this is great! Why have I shat upon this series for the last eight years??’ but I’m at least gonna try and view the episodes with a more shall we say sympathetic approach for once (not sure if that’s possible with Beyond A Joke).

    The menus look cool.

  • You missed a semi-important piece of news; for us poor saps in North America who were forced to wait until March 15 last year for series V and VI, we now get to join the rest of the human race and catch series VII much earlier on January 10.

    Ok, it’s not November, but hell, I’ll take it….

  • > Why, if the remastereds are doing well in foreign countries and (I think) more popular in America,

    It seems to fall to Austin and I (as probably the most frequent American posters on this site) to mention that the remastereds, while purportedly green-lighted so that the show could be more profitable over here, have never once been seen on shelves or on television by either of us.

    My entire VHS collection was the same as you lot received in the UK (with SLIGHT alterations to packaging), and the only episodes I’ve ever seen on PBS affiliates have been the originals.

    Now, as I’ve only had BBC America for the past month and they’re not showing it currently, I can’t vouch for which versions they air…but neither Austin or I have seen any evidence of the remastereds making any sort of impact whatsoever here.

  • Well, as Andrew Ellard said, there could be future rebastard DVD releases, so they’ll finally be available in America then, if they happen.

  • ‘They have never once been seen on shelves or on television by either of us’

    I would actually like to see them on TV here in the UK, as the originals are on the DVDs and I don’t want to buy the remastered videos.

    Just out of curiosity, do you not think, if there were a Re-m DVD release, they should talk about what they would have done to Series 4-6 as originally planned? Or maybe they could knock up something to show us what it would’ve been like.
    Probably not as good, but it would have been interesting.

  • Most definitely. I really want them to release Re-Mastered on DVD, just so there’s more Red Dwarf DVD extras after Series VIII.

    I’m also really looking forward to the new magazine, for the same reasons.

  • Although the magazine is interesting, I would rather see more TV or Cinema based items.

    As I have said before, on the Re-M DVD release (assuming there will be one), I still think there should be the Smeg Up/Out (whatever) that ‘fell off’ in the edit for the DVD, as well as (ironically, I suppose) the missing model shots from Series’ 1 and 2, alongside the CGI shots (like the Series 7 and 8 DVDs will have).

  • Not only have I never seen the Remastereds on broadcast television or on shelves, I’ve never seen them, period. If you don’t count that Japanese episode on Series I – and that doesn’t really count, since I didn’t even watch it all the way through.

  • Oh yeh. The Japanese Episode. I think that’s a good omen for a Re-M DVD release, as it would have made much more sense to put the Re-M ep on it instead. I just watched it to see the new effects. While the CGI wasn’t as impressive as the models (I do, however, find it interesting to see a new take on the Ship shots, which is why I would like to see a sample of Series’ 4-6 re-mastered), I did like the new music cues (there’s something else for the re-mastered DVDs), I think the more solemn music worked well in places.

  • Mornin’. Rumour control here.

    > How come the French and the Czech DVDs are the remastered ones?

    A large part of the decision comes from what people are used to in those territoires. More specifically, it relates to what gets broadcast.

    A broadcast version has subtitles and/or dubbed audio all ready to go. This is vital when considering the DVD release, as not having those elements has massive cost implications.

    Also, the original first few series of Dwarf have no solo M&E tracks – Music and Effects – which means dubbing becomes a real pain. The remastered eps have them, which makes foreign sale a great deal easier.

    > Why, if the remastereds are doing well in foreign countries and (I think) more popular in America, did they not remaster Series 4-6 (and I guess 7, as it wouldn’t fit in with the others)? I mean, they might have made a profit on it.

    Series I-III (the first two especially) were a tough sell, because they looked SO old. It didn’t feel like a hip and trendy show – which, of course, is what broadcasters want. Remastering upped the sexiness of the shows to broadcasters.

    Having taken, and had success with, those early series, they then also picked up IV-VI. Or else they picked up the lot in one go. Either way, they’ve been showing IV-VI already. They don’t need the remastered editions, because they’re happy with what they have.

    Which is to say, the remastered wasn’t just about selling to new viewers – it was also about selling to broadcasters. And with tha job done, there’s no need to go about remastering IV-VI. The remastereds have done the job they were created to do.

    > It seems to fall to Austin and I (as probably the most frequent American posters on this site) to mention that the remastereds, while purportedly green-lighted so that the show could be more profitable over here, have never once been seen on shelves or on television by either of us.

    Okay, but they HAVE been seen on TV by a high percentage of American Dwarf viewers. Remember we get complaints from people who want to know why the DVD versions have ‘lousy model effects’ replacing the CGI!

    > Did Goodall score the remastered music?

    Not specifically. Some of his cues are in there, with the rest made up with pre-existing library music. As happened with much of VII and VIII.

  • Oh, additional on this:

    > It seems to fall to Austin and I (as probably the most frequent American posters on this site) to mention that the remastereds, while purportedly green-lighted so that the show could be more profitable over here, have never once been seen on shelves or on television by either of us

    But they have been on shelves on VHS over there – and, in fact, that’s what’s been out for the last 7/8 years. They’re in the RD online shop right now.

  • > Fucking hell, Ellard’s turned into Brian Glover.

    I was SO hoping someone would get that reference.!

    (Alien3 on DVD, viewed as the original work print – fascinating.)

  • ‘Remember we get complaints from people who want to know why the DVD versions have ‘lousy model effects’ replacing the CGI!’

    I could see their point of view, if the remastereds were the first ones they saw. But tell me, does that mean that they would like 4-6 remastering?

  • > I could see their point of view, if the remastereds were the first ones they saw. But tell me, does that mean that they would like 4-6 remastering?

    Are you asking me? I don’t know – ask them!

    My personal opinion is that the remastering thing has come and gone, and it would seem a mistake to re-cut Series IV to VII to line up with the newer I-III.

    That said, I’d love to see VII remastered in full. The improvement to the remastered Tikka is significant, and worth doing in full – if only we could fund it.

    I’d also, as I’d said before, like to see the remastered eps get a DVD release. Partly to have a cyhance of doing I and II doccos, but also because it IS a part of Dwarf history and my collection feels incomplete without it. Also, it would placate those who genuinely prefer those editions. (Deal with it, they exist! I just don’t happen to be one of their number.)

  • ‘I’d love to see VII remastered in full’
    I’m not too fussed about most of the Series VII eps, though Stoke would look good re-done.

  • Incidentally, James, do you have a brother called Simon? He’s a mate of mine who mentioned that he had a brother called ‘James’ who read the site. Plus, you have the same initial as him.

  • Yeah, Stoke would be a much more worthy episode if the CG was redone. Of course, I would welcome the whole of VII and VIII’s CG redone, but if the money isn’t there then there’s no point. And I think I’d be a lot more interested in series I-III remastered if they were re-remastered, with at the very least the film effect redone so it doesn’t look naff.

    I wonder if it’d be possible *hint hint* for just The End to be re-remastered for a series I remastered DVD release, sort of in a similar way that Tikka has been done. There are things in The End remastered that make me want to kill myself.

  • ‘Incidentally, James, do you have a brother called Simon? He’s a mate of mine who mentioned that he had a brother called ‘James’ who read the site. Plus, you have the same initial as him.’

    Yup, that’s my brother.

  • Well, the CGI in VIII isn’t embarassing, unlike VII. It’s just “not as good as the model shots”. But then, of course, we all know that.

    VIII could probably benefit slightly from being redone… but it’s VII that *really* needs doing. VIII could be remastered with some model shots and a proper-shaped Dwarf, of course, but that would cost A MILLION BILLION POUNDS.

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