Beat The Geek. It’s finally upon us. Released on Monday, it looks like that’s when I’m actually going to get it; unlike Marian, Play haven’t posted it early. Utter, utter bastards.

Anyone who saw the game at DJ will know how utterly brilliant this is going to be – it’s just a huge amount of fun. And it’s very, very funny. But there still seems to be a certain preconception amongst some part-time Red Dwarf fans that this is going to be a load of rubbish – despite these being the same people who complain that they want more Dwarf, when this is exactly what this is. I did actually add the phrase “Why, I have no idea” here – but actually, I know why. It’s because most DVD games are utter crap. But this isn’t just a good DVD game; it pretty much redefines the whole genre, it’s so fantastic. Never has so much love and effort been put into a DVD game before.

So: once you’ve played it – spead the word. Let people know how great it is. You won’t just be doing the Red Dwarf community a favour by ensuring further releases – you’ll actually be doing them a favour, as they’ll miss out on a whole lot of fun otherwise.

Meanwhile, here’s our plans. Instead of rushing our review up by having me play wtih myself in a room for a few hours (ha ha, like masturbation!), we reckon that we should give it a proper test. So there’s going to be a group review of the thing, which will hopefully be up by next weekend, or shortly after. Also going up around then will be a special Beat The Geek Dwarfcast. Don’t worry – it will be more interesting than just hearing us lot play the game and laughing periodically. But admittedly not by much.

To make up for the delay though, we should have something relating to the release published on Monday morning, to tide you over a bit.

Oh, and if that desktop background isn’t on all your computers immediately, there’s going to be trouble. Mine is up already. I need something to stare and dribble at until Monday morning…

53 comments on “It’s a shitty cash-in, clearly

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  • I notice that my order status is ‘preordered’ on Play…
    I kind of got excited Thursday when I received an ‘order sent’ email, but this turned out to be ‘Green Wing’ ser II, as this too hasn’t arrived this morning, I may just have to the pub again after all.

  • I hope we’ll see see some kind of reaction to the Geek Chase, too – while most fans won’t want to give away how to get to a certain point in the treasure hunt, there IS going to be a lot to discuss/notice/brag about…

  • >Beat The Geek Dwarfcast

    I’m actually really interested in hearing this. Can you edit in some clips of Austin or I saying “Lucky motherfuckers” periodically? You know…just so you can get the region 1 reaction in there as well…

  • Just got an email from play at about 2pm today saying that it’s been posted.
    Can’t wait. It’s also great to hear what this site has planned for follow up
    coverage. That’s going to add to the fun all the more, though I will probably wait until I’ve had a good chance to play the game extensively before I come and read/hear the opinions here.

    “It’s because most DVD games are utter crap.”

    I know what you mean it’s a difficult new breed of idea isnt it. Because it’s somewhere between a DVD and a Computer trivia game, and both of those
    are judged in part on “last-ability” when purchasing. So it’s great to have read that this seems to have about double the amount of questions and surprises that most of the other dvd games I’ve seen seem to have.

  • That’s a shame. I perhaps should have clarified, for those interested, that I wasnt buying the version that is more money with the exclusive DD head knocker thingy.

    So maybe that’s an issue?

  • Same here and it’s still stuck on ‘pre-ordered’, Maybe I will have a trip into town and keep a sealed copy, how’s that for dedication!!

  • Am I alone in staring at the ‘Groovy channel 27’ pic on Fridays update and coming up with an answer to a clue that wasn’t there, this does not bode well :-)

  • I found my confirmation that they had sent my DVD in my Junk e-mail folder, so they might have sent a

  • I’ve also just realised how much the title of “Beat The Geek” has grown on me. I really didn’t like it at first, but it isn’t really about what the title is, it’s the content that counts…

    Plus, i’m proud to be a geek.

  • Same here. Pre-ordered last week with the headknocker, no e-mail or anything. I was hoping to have a game tonight with my friend over a pizza and a bottle of red wine, but it looks like it’ll have to be chess again… *sigh*

  • Since it’s my day off (rare words), I thought ‘sod this, it’s only a headknocker,’ cancelled the order and went to Virgin! Lovely poster.

    So, I’ve had a game. First impressions: very, very good. I played at viewer level and scored pretty okay marks. Norman and Hattie are hilarious! Unlocked the first bonus game, pretty fun. I’ll expand on this in due time, but for the moment quite impressive!

    Brill, no chess tonight…

  • Yeah, it’s good. Not as fun as I was hoping it would be but still good. It’s a shame they couldn’t give a little plot or some reason to get from one part of Red Dwarf to another – person who wins gets to escape pod first, person gets to Starbug and does such and such, person who wins gets the hologram discs etc etc etc. I couldn’t get into it that much and when you complete the game nothing really rewarding happens.

    Also, the mini-games you can unlock are hideous.

  • I hate to be one of those random people who turns up on a forum out of the blue and hates everything, but I hated it.
    I thought the questions were on the whole far too easy and not numerous enough, the acting (and I love both Hollys dearly) and jokes were pretty substandard and the minigames were just…. ‘Navigate the invisible maze in Starbug but beware of black holes which you can’t see because they’re black’ This (although I’m sure I got the line wrong there) may be the most depressing sentence I’ve ever read.
    I certainly am grateful that Red Dwarf still releases brand new stuff like this, but I just finished playing and was hugely disappointed. Anyone else feel this way?

    There you go. Random complaining bastard.

  • > the acting (and I love both Hollys dearly) and jokes were pretty substandard

    What did you fucking expect. Get a grip on life.

  • My copy was finally posted at 9:19pm last night. THANKS PLAY.

    I’ll probably get it on Thursday or Friday, then. Ah well, at least it’s for the weekend…

  • I got this from Sainsbury’s on Monday, and it’s pretty good.

    The Hollies (Hollys?) are both on top form. Their performances are just as great as they were back in the day. There are some fantastic lines in it, as well as some brilliant costumes. Although Hattie is crap at being the Low Holly. “Weeeeeell Dooooone…”

    The virtual wireframe corridors and stuff are great. There are some location problems, such as the Captain’s Office being on the other side of the ship to the drive room, Lister and Rimmer’s old bunkroom being upstairs to the drive room rather than just round the corner, and the Officer’s Quarters being smaller on the outside than on the inside, but it all still looks very nice.

    And then there’s the questions. They give you some really easy ones for a while, then as soon as you start to get confident…BOOM! “Which crew member played an extra in this scene?” How am I meant to know that? I don’t think I’ll ever get Funky Fifty on Geek Mode.

    So, in conclusion; it’s very good. Buy it.

  • Really, really enjoying this game. Thanks Ellard & all if your reading.

    Loads of specific comments, I’ll leave those for later, till most
    readers here have had their own discovery plays. In general though and
    in relpy to already posted comments here…….

    The wire frame ship bits I thought it would be crap, but it works because of the speed it goes, and it makes the whole animation a little like the hitchhikers
    tv show animation which I like.

    As for the above comment about the ships layout being wrong, it changed so often
    in the show anyway, I mean the captains office definately moves from series 1 to series 8 doesnt it?, but then so does the ships shape etc? And this has to fit with all 8 series some how. I think it’s fine as it is.

    Im really surprised how long 1 game lasts, about half an hour and more like an
    hour for the two player. Most DVD games I’ve played were much shorter than that,
    so this is a real sit down quiz not a dip into short five minute goes thing.

    I dont think there is much the makers could have done to stop comments about “it’s too hard” or “its too easy” given the vast differences in knowledge between people
    and wanting a wide market, I think Geek, veiwer and general knowledge is about the best stab they could do at getting something that works for everyone. Geek is too hard for me. veiwer is about right for me to try and get funky 50 at but havent managed it yet after 6 goes. And general knowledge has either been hard or easy for
    me and my family. This could have been much much worse as only total geek or all easy questions it’s pretty wide ranging I think.

    On the nit pick side, There’s one miss-spelled question in there ive seen.

    The bonus games (so far) are just that “a little bonus”, they are one joke games nice bonus to unlock as rewards but I didnt expect grand theft auto 3D (wasting disc space here), but I can see why the above person didnt like them. And I dont think the first one works on my shit dvd player, but I doubt I will play them much so really it’s the main game that counts here.

    I love the holly Moments, plenty to smile at, some real laughs and my family enjoyed these too. The holly appearances are the reason to play this game, that and the joy of red dwarf trivia. The main game is excellent. The questions varied, the holly moments either ok, fun or in some cases brilliant and I think everyone will have their own faves. Unlike the above comment I found the low holly startling the first time and think it works well. I’ll post my own faves much later, lets let everyone
    play first.

    Rad has a real point with “when you complete the game nothing really rewarding happens” at the end, I’m wondering wether it’s different with funky 50 when I reach that. In the two player mode their is the joy of victory over your oponent so that’s ok, but in one player it’s a weak ending.

    The choice of menu music is spot on, it would have been so annoying to have the
    theme tune over and over again if left playing on the menu.

    The biggest shock for me though is how could someone geeky enough to regularly visit a red dwarf forum such as this, lose 37 (general knowledge) vs 32 (geek) to a 62 year old who manages to win by getting questions about modern teenage girl groups rights!

    I dont think I’ll live that one down. Right REMATCH!!!!!

  • >Loads of specific comments, I’ll leave those for later

    Oh the sorrows of living in region one…not only do we get no release, but we also get no spoilers.







  • > There’s one miss-spelled question in there ive seen.

    I know exactly which one you mean. We only spotted it the day AFTER the final approval date, and I feel just sick about it.

  • > On the nit pick side, There’s one miss-spelled question in there ive seen.

    Would that be ‘Billy Boyle’, by any chance?

  • To be honest, with over 1000 questions, I would have been surprised if there *hadn’t* been one spelling error…

  • The doorbell just went!

    I thought it might be postie having another go at delivering my copy of Beat The Geek!

    But it wasn’t!

    It was the fucking gasman!

    And it wasn’t even my meter he wanted to read!


  • I was just about to go out and collect my parcel, when I realised that I can’t. Because Tanya ordered it, and it’s in her name – and I need her signature to collect it.


    Why the FUCK did I leave the house? I could cry. Genuinely.

  • …and after a brief phonecall, she has offered to come home and we’ll go up and get the parcel together.

    See, this is why I’m with her. She understands the IMPORTANCE of these things. Even though we’ll end up getting to Nottingham two hours late tonight…

  • You could at lease try, John. Do you have a bill with your address and both your names on?

    Also, for most packages you don’t need to sign for anything. Play don’t always use proper recorded delivery, in which case all you need is the slip.

    Go, go, go!

  • No, they always check with me! Maybe I look disreputable. And you do need it signed by the other person in order to *collect* (not recieve at your door), even on non-recorded items.

  • No, it’s 5:30pm here. She’s arriving at 5:00 and we’re going up.

    I’m sure everyone is finding this FASCINATING. Shall I start talking about tits or something instead?

  • You should have been able to collect it yourself, if you’d taken a bill with both names on it.
    They probably wouldn’t have checked anyway – I rarely do unless it’s for Special Delivery.

    But anyway… John, I believe you wanted to start up a conversation about Ian???


  • > Maybe I look disreputable.

    Maybe they’ve just heard you in conversation…

    > But anyway… John, I believe you wanted to start up a conversation about Ian???

    Oh, VERY good. *applauds*

  • No Sweat, like I said I’m nitpicking. There is clearly a huge amount of effort and care gone into this DVD game, so huge thanks.

    What I will take you to task about though, Andrew, is why did you include questions about teenage girl groups that my 62 year old dad inexplicably guesses correctly!
    It’s just not right! Dam you.

  • Just played the first game. I got 33 on ‘Geek’, and Tanya got ’36’ on viewer. I am an twart.

    My review will be up Monday, so I won’t say anything more for now.

  • No, you mean his cock. Don’t you inflict that wishful thinking of yours on the rest of us.

  • Revised BTG coverage schedule: Dwarfcast up tomorrow. Review should also be up tomorrow, or the early hours of Tuesday morning.

  • FUNKY FIFTY!!! Yesss! On viewer level, mind, but I got there! The bonus games are a nice little diversion, and I enjoy them.

    Having played the game a few times now, I’ve got to say I’m impressed with the amount of work that has gone into it. Very impressive.

  • Sorry – our BTG coverage has been put back again. Dwarfcast should now be up tonight (that’s Tuesday), and my review should be up on Wednesday night.

  • Sorry, coverage put back yet again. We should definitely have it for you before the end of the week.

    In my defence,?I’m trying to get my business launched this week, and haven’t had much time for Dwarf stuff…

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