Beat The Twats now closed News Yes, that’s it. Time’s up, put down your pens, for Beat The Twats – Ganymede & Titan’s quite frankly downright epic Red Dwarf quiz – is now over. “But how did I do?” “How did you do, Mister Patrick, sir!” Well, first of all, we’ll take a look at the answers… Q1 – In the series 2 episode Better Than Life, what rank was Rimmer supposedly promoted to? Navigation Officer 1st Class Q2 – In the novel Last Human, what is the alternative name given for the Space Corps? Star Fleet Q3 – Subtract the number of episodes featuring Hattie Hayridge as Holly from the number of episodes featuring Norman Lovett as Holly, and add the number of episodes featuring Clare Grogan as Kochanski… what number do you get? 7 Q4 – Which of the following was NOT at Rimmer’s stag party in the novel Better Than Life? John Lennon Q5 – What was the name of Rimmer’s second wife in the novel Better Than Life? Helen Q6 – References made to Kevin Keegan in the first Red Dwarf novel were replaced by which name in the later Omnibus release? Joe Klump Q7 – Who was the FOURTH person to say “smeg head” on the show? Rimmer’s Father Q8 – Why was the original actor cast to play the reporter in Timeslides replaced? He died Q9 – The regular Visual Effects team did not work on two series of Red Dwarf – which two? 2 & VIII Q10 – In which year did two whole series of Red Dwarf air? 1988 Q11 – In which film did both Mac McDonald and Lister-a-like Jake Abraham appear? The 51st State Q12 – Which character appears on the front cover of the Estonian edition of Last Human? The Snugiraffe (see above) Q13 – Who drew the artwork that graced the Re-Mastered video covers? Mark Wilkinson Q14 – Which of the following was not written or co-written by Andrew Ellard? Identity Within Q15 – What tagline was used on promotional postcards for the Series 1 DVD release? Protecting the universe from the scum of the Earth Q16 – Which word was cut out of the VHS version of Polymorph, but re-instated for the DVD? “week’s” Q17 – By how many seconds is the Re-Mastered version of The End shorter than the original version?4 Q18 – In the novel Last Human, what is the future crime that Lister’s doppelganger is (deliberately) falsely convicted of? Smuggling Q19 – How many times does Cat call Rimmer ‘goalpost head’ in the series? 7 Q20 – What is Space Corps Directive #5796? No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples So there you have it. Any issues with the questions to the usual address (unless you’re complaining about there being too many questions relating to Last Human, in which case you can sod off), but hopefully there’s no serious contention about anything (we think!) Give yourself a hearty pat on the back if you got at least ten right, as there were a few real buggers of questions in there (some of which weren’t even all that Googleable). If you got between six and ten, you were around the average – and if you got five, you can at least console yourself that you didn’t do worse than the law of averages allows for (and, indeed, nobody got below that magic number). But! On to more important business… The Winners… In descending order… Third Place With a highly respectable 15 out of 20, Karl Eisenhauer takes third place with the most last minute of last minute entries (we have literally just recieved it seconds before the quiz closed) and he wins the “Official Duke of Manchester Nose Peg”. However, out of the goodness of our hearts, Gavin Fox and Paul Hughes, who were so nearly joint third with a solid 13 out of 20, will also receive some bits of TM: YNYN related tat we manage to dig up. Second Place With an excellent 16 out of 20, the winner of a copy of the Series VII DVD signed by the TM:YNYN cast and crew is… Jonsmad! First Place But the winner, with a staggering 18 out of 20 (if we’re honest, we weren’t sure if anyone would score that highly!), and the proud recipient of a copy of Red Dwarf : Beat The Geek, is… PETE MARTIN! Congratulations to Pete, and the three runners-up, and we’ll be in touch with you folks shortly to get your details. As for everyone else – thanks a bunch for entering, we had a great turnout, and we hope to bring you more great competitions on G&T in the not-too-distant future. And thanks once again to 2|Entertain and Grant Naylor Productions for generously providing us with our star prize!