Issue #151, Christmas 2006. IT’S COCKING NOVEMBER. Magazine publishing dates annoy me.

Anyway, a few things Dwarf-related caught my eye in SFX this issue, so here’s a quick roundup. You should probably buy it, as I’m not going to cheat and scan everything in for you.

Firstly, and most importantly, is a Fat Rob Grant interview! Fifth result down. Shit. I really hope he doesn’t see that. It’s a very interesting piece, and there’s a rather large hint as to why the release “schedule” kept being put back. Apparently, it turned up on Amazon before he’d even started writing the thing – he’d only bullshitted the idea to his agent a few days before. There’s also an interesting bit about the direction his writing style has taken: “…I suppose there’s an element of satire in all my stuff. I’m getting more real worldly.” There’s also lots of stuff about the nanny state, and a hint as to what his next book might be about: “I will say that climatologists better watch out.” It all sounds like a pitch for Grumpy Old Men, but then I can talk. Oh, and it comes with a full-page picture that makes him look like Zoidberg.

Speaking of Fat, it’s now looking like the publication date of the hardback is the 27th December – at least, that’s what his publisher’s site is telling us, and if anyone should know it’ll be them. They’re also promising an interview with Rob on December 6th, so watch out for that.

Moving on. There’s also a full-page advert for the Dwarf film cells, although it shares the space with Stargate. I’d scan it in for you, but I can’t get get my scanner working. Blah blah Mickey Mouse operation etc. It seems strange that Rye By Post would splash out of a full page ad a year after they were released; but presumably they’re trying to catch the Christmas market.

There’s also a review of Fated – in which the film gets one star. “Imagine a puppy with big round eyes. “Love me,” it says. But you can’t. Because it’s done a poo in your favourite pair of trainers.” It also mentions Craig Charles’ appearance: “Craig Charles also pops up as a poetry-spewing stoner DJ who takes his trousers off and crashes a mini-cab. Twice.” Final assessment: “First time writer/director Nicola Scott struggles to find any humour (or romance, or charm, or even the vaguest connection to the theme of fate) and ends this terrible picture with a twist that’s as annoying as it is nonsensical… Sorry, Nicola, but don’t give up the day job. Unless your day job’s making films. In which case, you should.” Dear oh dear. I’d like to watch it myself – but I can’t find out where it’s on…

Finally, this isn’t related to Red Dwarf at all, but I have to mention the following question in the Ask the SFXperts column:

I vaguely remember Torchwood‘s sexy Captain Jack presenting some crap Saturday morning show when I was a kid. What was it and what did he do in the intervening years?
Nia Connelly, email

Nia – if you have email, you almost certainly have access to the web. Type “John Barrowman” into Google, and the third result is his IMDB listing. From there, it is not hard to work out with a bit of detective work that it was Live & Kicking. All considerably less effort than mailing SFX.

Secondly: Live & Kicking was anything but crap – especially in those early years. Why do you think it’s crap, when you know so little about it that you can’t even remember the show’s name?

Thirdly: am I just in a bad mood this week?

11 comments on “SFX Roundup

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  • Craig Charles also pops up as a poetry-spewing stoner DJ who takes his trousers off and crashes a mini-cab. Twice.

    Christ. Do you think they found out they could get him, and then wrote a part for him, instead of vice versa? I mean, I know he’s made a living out of basically playing himself, but that’s verging on insulting…

  • Much as I like John Barrowman (er, not in that way), he was absolutely crap as a presenter of Live and Kicking.

  • I can’t actually remember much about John Barrowman on L&K. I’d like to see an entire show again.

    But I do know that the show as a whole was definitely not crap. Even Trev & Simon were still great in the first couple of series, although they admittedly did go right downhill. Which is a huge shame.

  • Yeah, they were priceless in the early years (all together now; swing your pants!) and then they were replaced for a while by a wholly unfunny trio whose names escape me. When they returned, they couldn’t really recapture the magic.

    Funniest book of all time: Trev and Simon’s Stupid book. Surely I can’t be the only one who owned this?

  • I don’t know, but I do still treasure a cassette tape that (I think) came free with PG Tips for Comic Relief, of Trev and Simon’s World On Tour. It was bloody fantastic, and I nicked the entire “pop quiz” segment for a revue in primary school once.

  • Funniest book of all time: Trev and Simon?s Stupid book. Surely I can?t be the only one who owned this?

    I have it and it is indeed brilliant. The ‘B’ game is loads of fun!! The Stupid Video and the Other Video are well worth getting. They’re often on ebay. There’s also a live video but I think they’d gotten a bit crap by then.
    That cassette did come with PG Tips. There were 4 to collect: T&S, Jasper Carrott, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, and Bells from Blackadder II.

  • “Beware that if you’ve chosen a word that already starts with B, you may be missing the point a bit! Unless you’ve chosen BOTTOM that is, because it’s always fun to say bottom out loud!”

  • >> I can?t actually remember much about John Barrowman on L&K. I?d like to see an entire show again.

    It’s funny, because he’s always been John Barrowman from Live and Kicking for me. No-one I know remembers him! I distinctly remember his ‘musical’ moments when it really didn’t go down very well with da kidz.

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