G&T: The Official Fansite News Posted by Ian Symes on 31st March 2012, 23:00 Ladies and gentlemen, after much discussion and negotiation, Ganymede & Titan PLC and Grant Naylor Productions are proud to announce that G&T is now the official Red Dwarf fansite. Having tested the waters by sending our correspondent Seb Patrick to the official site, we have been chosen to be the official online resource for independent and unbiased, yet totally official, Red Dwarf news and opinion. Having launched in 1999, this move marks the culmination of nearly fifteen years hard work, and a vital component of the brand new paradigm in online Red Dwarf coverage. But what does this mean for you, our faithful reader? Well, as you may have already seen, we have a brand new permanent banner, which I’m sure you’ll agree is much more professional and glossy than our old branding. In terms of house rules, we’re now moving away from the childish bad language which blighted previous incarnations of the site. In compliance, with Red Dwarf‘s family-friendly public image, all bad words have been automatically replaced with the word “smeg”. As for our featured content, rest assured that our uncompromising, no-holds-barred approach to front-line reporting will continue unhindered by the shackles of our new partnership. We’ve got big plans for content in the coming weeks, so look forward to the following new articles: VIII Is Great – a reappraisal of Doug Naylor’s 1999 masterwork. Veale or No Veale – why the Series VII and VIII visual effects are better than anything The Model Unit have ever done. Re-Masterful – the definitive version of Series I-III Our Fantasy Series XI Cast – why Red Dwarf needs Iain Lee You’re Lying? We’re Laughing! – how Robert Llewellyn finally nailed the characterisation of Kryten in Series VII Back To Earth Was Better Than The Brittas Empire, Hi-De-Hi! and Hippies Combined – by John Hoare. Why The Series X Post-Production Period Has Been The Very Model Of Competence And Professionalism Chloe Annett’s Foaming Talent We hope you’ll all be happy with the new direction the site is taking, and we know you’ll look forward to reading all our new articles, just as soon as they’ve been signed off by GNP. Keep smeggin’! The G&T team – Cappsy, Danny, Ian, John, Tanya, Seb, Andrew, Charles, Helen and Doug. EDIT (12:40 BST): LOL A JOKE. I-I-I-Sorry.
all bad words have been automatically replaced with the word “smeg”. Fuck you! You bullshitting bunch of cunts!
Wheeze of the Week, mate. Uh, I mean, CONGRATULATIONS! Here’s hoping you do an article on why Birdman deserves his own series. That guy is one zany mothersmegga.
arse bollocks bastard bitch bumlips boner boob buggery clunge cock crap cunt dick dildo egg felcher fuckface knobend labia Norman Lovett penis piss prick pussy samehead scrotum sex shit slut smegma spunk tits tosser turd twat vagina wanker Forgive the americanisms, I just wanted to see how comprehensive the filter was. Honestly…
“I think we’ve all considered smeging all over it at some point.” – Andrew Ellard, Official Webboard Hehhehheh!
Oh wow, there actually is a Smeg Filter. *clears throat* Fuck. Shit. Iain Lee. Cunt. Twat. Arsebiscuts. Bottom. Meecrob. …man, if the filter was ever removed I’d look fucking stupid. …wait, I already look fucking stupid WITH the filter…
You left off the one about: “The Folly of Rob Grant: The negotiations and rejection of a hack’s desperate bid for re-entry back into the GNP universe.”
Loving reading all the de-smegged comments. Jezzmund, wash your mouth out. Are you going to keep that header in the randomiser? I actually thought it rather amusing.
You already are THE fansite, validation not neccessary… and not that far fetched either. Although Alex is doing some good stuff too on Gazpacho Soup, it must be said.
Genuine laugh out loud at ‘Veale or no veale’. Don’t know why, coz It wasn’t that funny. But laugh out loud – I did.
As if I didn’t log on on the 1st to see the Smeg-filter in action. And what was the “new permanent banner”?
>And what was the “new permanent banner”? It looked like the TOS banner. Thanks for this Ian! Very funny stuff. Off to look up previous G&T April fool gags.
I am drunk. I am very drunk. I’m trying my best to keep typing. Am I doing well? I’ve aimed for a thread no one gives a monkeys rectum about, cus it’s not april anymore, so this hopefully this isnt interupting debate anyway. But I am drunk. stupidly drunk. I mean Im drinking rum and coke, and I ran out of coke, so I put some orange in it, to take the harshness away drunk, im that drunk, someone get me a traffic cone and a police woman who’s up for it, drunk. So im just here to type that I love you. Doug. And Ian, And John, and everyone at G and T. you beautiful people. You inspire me, and your wonderful. Im writing a fan film again at the moment about the band I love, and i’ve so nicked some stuff from timeslides, cus it’s relevant to this vehicle, and I’m well high on life, and drink obviously, series X is going to rule, cus it’s the moaning pussys in the gutter that have a voice but dont ever try to make beauty themselves, that mouth their shite. And it’s fucking hard sometimes, or maybe they are soberness to be honest, fair play, i wouldnt know. Im drunk. did I mention that? I mean you joke about it, but G and fucking T is the site that brings dwarf to me. And I fucking love you for it. official means nothing, passion means everything, and I know cus the man himself fucking said so, in a park, in the middle of London, when he was well on it, and I am drunk. So yeah. peace. out.
Soberness 85%. Recall of previous evening 12% Hangover 5% Script improved from drunk writing 40% Suggestions, dont go online when drunk, appollogise for calling anyone here a pussy (expect DJJ), and replace head.
I’m going to put the name Ian Capps, in my fan film, in a scene that’s more kind of stolen inspirationally from Marooned.
Mine too. Wish I had the guts to write directly from the heart like that. Rum and coke, eh? … BTW, who is/was “the man himself”?
I was once in a park in the middle of London with Jonsmad, but the only people who were “well on it” were the tramps. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_EyOGt-L9k
I’ve thought about that, but whenever I see a video version of a podcast, I never watch it – podcasts are for my commute, not for sitting in front of. That said, we could try to do one for RDX if people are interested. I’d love to do some proper Dwarfy video projects – we’ve been talking about doing then-and-now tours of old locations for years – but I never seem to have the time to do them justice. A poor excuse, I know, but look how shit we are at just writing stuff.
Ah well. You can be sure that the G&T faithful will have a neb at any old rubbish that you shove up on here.
>look how shit we are at just writing stuff. Eh? Your stuff is brilliant and you always get it published while the news is still fresh. Are you talking about frequency of new material? If so, I’ll take quality over quantity any day. *nod*
Rum and coke and orange Mabel. And I’ve praised inspirational G and T before sober and more coherently in the past. Ha ha. The man himself, I think im sort of refering to when John interviewed Doug in the park with the tramps! And he said of this site, “you’ve been keeping us alive all these years” or something like that in exciting welcoming voice. I could be wrong, i’m drunk a lot so my short term memory is probably damaged.
Let this be a lesson to you! Don’t waste your money on ComicCons and Ramen noodles! Spend it wisely at a matinee showing of Madea’s Witness Protection, coming June 2012!
