This was always going to happen. Cultbox have posted synopses for all six episodes, after which Doug Naylor now refers to them by a very slightly altered version of their name. We’re covering this because it’s information released in relatively mainstream press, and because they’re standard Radio Times-style capsules that only give away a teasing summation of the bare bones of the plot, rather than blowing the endings. Nevertheless, be wary of spoilers before reading more, and remember that if you’ve been to an audience recording, then you may not reveal anything that you saw.
Episode 1: Trojan
Thursday 4th October 2012
Rimmer receives an SOS Distress Call from a doomed ship commanded by his all-conquering brother, Howard. But Rimmer can’t bring himself to save Howard until he’s on an equal footing career-wise. He has 15 hours to pass his Astro-Nav exam and become an Officer. The same exam he’s already failed nine times.
Yes, we all know about this one. Although, it’s a pretty bold move to open up the whole ‘how many times has Rimmer taken his exams’ can of continuity worms.
Episode 2: Fathers and Suns
Thursday 11th October 2012
Every year Lister sends himself a Father’s Day card to celebrate the fact that he is his own father, but when Rimmer points out he’s been a lousy father to himself Lister decides to do something about it. Meanwhile, Rimmer and Kryten install a new computer; the beautiful, but lethally logical, Pree.
So, it’s a new computer called Pree, not a return for Holly. Obviously. I genuinely can’t remember how much of this is new information, and how much has just been guessed from the ‘bit of poppadom’ clip.
Episode 3: Lemons
Thursday 18th October 2012
Marooned in Britain in 23 AD, the Dwarfers need an 8 volt battery to power up their Returner Remote and get home. Remembering a lesson from school Rimmer suggests they make a battery out of lemons but the nearest lemon to Britain in 23 AD is in India 4,000 miles away. They begin their journey, a journey that will ultimately lead them to a meeting with a historical A-List Celebrity that could alter the entire history of civilisation.
Ooh, I wonder who THAT will be. Hey, remember Doug tweeting ages ago about how to make a battery at the turn of the millenium?
Episode 4: Entangled
Thursday 25th October 2012
Lister loses Rimmer in a game of poker to a group of Biologically Engineered Life Forms and in return gets an unwanted gift: a groinal exploder programmed to detonate in 24 hours unless Lister pays his debts. Meanwhile, Kryten and Cat become quantum entangled and do everything in perfect unison.
Everyone’s upset about Rimmer being lost in a game poker, except for him, him and him. Again, the phrase ‘biologically engineered’ instead of ‘genetically engineered’. Pretty sure the groinal exploder is new information, and I imagine it’ll be a big topic of discussion.
Episode 5: Dear Dave
Thursday 1st November 2012
Lister has women trouble when he gets himself in a love triangle with Snack Dispensers 23 and 34, then to make matter worse gets a letter from an old girlfriend telling him she’s pregnant and it might be his. Lister and Rimmer hunt through the mountain of letters from the mail pod to discover if Lister is finally a dad.
And suddenly we see where another one of those preview clips fits in. That’s two episodes out of six that deal with Lister being a dad.
Episode 6: The Beginning
Thursday 8th November 2012
Hiding in an Asteroid, surrounded by a Simulant Death Ship and a fleet of Annihilators, the Dwarfers begin to wonder whether this is the beginning of the end. Only one man can save them. Unfortunately that man is Arnold J Rimmer.
SIMULANTS. ANNIHILATORS. GOOD. I’ve not seen this episode, so I don’t know whether ‘hiding in an asteroid’ should read ‘hiding in an asteroid belt‘, but it’s gonna be a lot of fun finding out.
Right, have fun picking that little lot apart…