The G&T Forum Hall of Fame Features Posted by Ian Symes on 28th August 2017, 17:44 We’ve only just realised that our humble Forum is now over ten years old. Having cultivated a small but dedicated discussion community through our article comments, and following the previously-discussed closure of Observation Dome, we opened the floodgates by launching a dedicated place for the assorted freaks and arseholes we call our friends to set their own agenda, free to discuss any old nonsense they see fit, Red Dwarf related or otherwise. The very first thread was started by an man announcing he was having a wank, and that pretty much set the tone. Of course, Red Dwarf had been off-air for eight years when the Forum launched, and what a turbulent and surprising decade in the show’s history it has witnessed. But regardless of how many fourth-wall-breaking specials, brand new series, Bluray releases, spin-off games and curries-launched-into-space we’ve seen, the Forum will always be dominated by two things: 1) tedious discussions about whether Series VII and VIII are any good; and 2) extreme silliness, intentionally or otherwise, laced with a very specific and esoteric sense of humour. It’s the latter that we’re celebrating today. At some point over the last decade, a meme started whereby long-standing members of the community – more often than not Phil Reed, initially – would nominate certain threads for a mythical “Hall of Fame”, which they’d do by simply posting “I nominate this thread for Hall of Fame status”, or variations thereof. This was sometimes a badge of honour, awarded to topics that were particularly funny or informative, and sometimes an ironic accolade, doled out to a failed troll or exceptionally dull post. It seems apt to commemorate both types of thread now, as we turn this mythical Hall of Fame into an actual Hall of Fame. Here, then, is a list of every topic we could find in which someone had nominated a thread for Hall of Fame status. This represents both the very best and the very worst of the first ten years of the Ganymede & Titan Forum, and will hopefully either bring back some wonderful memories, or remind you why you avoid the place at all costs. Probably both. Either way, cheers to the first ten years of nonsense, and to the next. Did you see Red Dwarf? – Spoilers! STARTED BY: Pete Part Three, May 14th 2008. NOMINATED BY: Phil Following a spate of discussion topics about contemporary sci-fi/fantasy series – all with the “Did you see X? – Spoilers!” titling convention – Pete Part Three decided to take it to its logical conclusion, and it soon became a thread for people to invent spoilers for a hypothetical new series of Red Dwarf, blissfully unaware that several new series of Red Dwarf were just around the corner. SAMPLE POST: I’m still not sure about Doug Naylor singing over the closing credits, but I think the full-time addition of Bird Man to the crew is great. I think the one thing a sitcom will always benefit from is a comedy Welshman – look at Dad’s Army! Best scene so far? Kryten masturbating into Kochanski’s tea. – Paul Muller Investigating. Investigating this, investigating that. General investigation. STARTED BY: Dave, June 23rd 2008 NOMINATED BY: Phil Absolutely no idea what this is about. Anyone? SAMPLE POST: I’m sure it’ll be in your pants somewhere…just keep looking. – Jason aka Smeg4Brains The Torchwood Spoilers Thread STARTED BY: John Hoare, July 1st 2008 NOMINATED BY: Phil An attempt to discuss the merits of the unpopular Doctor Who spin-off comes a cropper when everyone realises they can’t be arsed, and so it descends into puns, abuse and discussions of Kermit The Frog’s cum-face within minutes. SAMPLE POST: *has sex with the rift* – Jonathan Capps What a load of shight STARTED BY: rimmer, October 8th 2008 NOMINATED BY: Zombie Jim Undead A new person turns up and complains that it “dont make sence” that Doctor Who, a show that’s “for kid” and “shight”, is being made when Red Dwarf isn’t, whilst seemingly unaware that new Red Dwarf had just been announced. The results were predictable. SAMPLE POST: I’m sure I join everyone here in welcoming ‘rimmer’ to the Ganymede and Titan forums, and wishing that he/she contract cholera in the very near future. – mick The Xmas Name Banner Thing STARTED BY: Tarka Dal, December 22nd 2008 NOMINATED BY: Phil Tarka Dal starts a thread to congratulate us on our new festive banner, then points out a fault with it, thus ruining Christmas. SAMPLE POST: Don’t worry, Dave, she won’t go in the sink again, – performingmonkey The Spoilery Doctor Who Thread (The Next Doctor / Matt Smith casting) STARTED BY: Seb Patrick, December 25th 2008 NOMINATED BY: Seb Patrick A fairly standard Doctor Who discussion is momentarily derailed by a small amount of low-level squabbling between Jonathan Capps and SoundableObject, before it’s quickly sorted. I think Hall of Fame status was being bandied around a little too willy-nilly at this stage, although it’s amusing to read further back, and see people’s initial responses to Matt Smith’s casting. Such as… SAMPLE POST: He looks and sounds like a foppish rugby player. And he better sort that fucking hair out before filming. Fuck. – Jonathan Capps Remember you’re a womble is a real song. STARTED BY: Mnoooah, January 20th 2009 NOMINATED BY: Paul Muller An early example of Hall of Fame status being conferred on the shittest, most incongruous and least promising threads. SAMPLE POST: I apologise if I offended you. My personal definition of an aubergine is a weird purple thing, a distortion of nature, which doesn’t feel like it should be eaten. Ever. – Danny Stephenson Where is Rob Grant? STARTED BY: JohnnyW, January 27th 2009 NOMINATED BY: Pete Part Three Here’s an instance of an individual post being nominated for Hall of Fame status, rather than necessarily the thread itself. The post in question was Phil’s analogy for Rob and Doug’s relationship, encapsulating why it’s ridiculous that people were still asking why they weren’t working together when it had been 16 years since they had. Thankfully, lessons were learnt, and the topic never reared its head again. HALL OF FAME POST: I broke up with a girl 10 years ago and for a long time we were not on speaking terms. By this point we can get together and talk about old times and laugh and be perfectly pleasant. But we’re different people now, and the old relationship will never be rekindled. And as chummy as we are now, I don’t think either of us would WANT it to be. I’m Doug. And the girl I used to slap my nuts against is Rob. – Phil Old habits… STARTED BY: Pete Part Three, February 1st 2009 NOMINATED BY: Phil Craig Charles was alleged to have made insulting comments about Coronation Street fans, for which he was roundly admonished by the various Coronation Street fans on the Forum. So someone called Cliff came along and thought it would be a good idea to make insulting comments about Coronation Street fans. SAMPLE POST: …’ok i’ll kill myself, then you’ll be sorry!’ – cliff Oh, you know what’s just hit me about Tikka to Ride? STARTED BY: Ben Paddon, February 9th 2009 NOMINATED BY: Phil Again, it’s an individual post that makes the Hall of Fame, and again it’s a post by Phil. Although admittedly, it was Phil himself who nominated his own post. HALL OF FAME POST: > Which website was it that closed with an arsey parting short at Red Dwarf and its fans? http://www.normanlovett.co.uk/ – Phil best and worst of the rd novels ?? STARTED BY: NitroChrisUK, January 26th 2009 NOMINATED BY: Mr Flibble Another individual post, this one coming as part of a discussion about the differences between the original versions of the first two novels and the Omnibus editions. Interestingly, as well as his nomination, Mr Flibble’s post also makes the suggestion to collate all the posts and threads that have been nominated for the Hall of Fame, and I immediately reply to agree. I may not be fast, but I get there in the end. HALL OF FAME POST: Worse bit in Omnibus? “Lister’s Window was filled with red. And red. And red. He couldn’t see where it started and he couldn’t see where it finished. But it was big. No, it was BIG. A big, red, ugly pencil that looked poorly rendered and really shit” – Pete Part Three Does Rimmer produce man sauce? STARTED BY: Zombie Jim Undead, February 13th 2009 NOMINATED BY: John Hoare The nomination may have been somewhat pre-emptive when it turned up relatively early in this thread’s life, but it more than lived up to the accolade. This heady mixture of pedantry and filth is exactly the type of thing the Forum was made for. SAMPLE POST: Yeah, but strictly speaking it’s holo wee/poo, and composed entirely of light, and therefore not a bodily fluid per se. – hummingbird The biggest pile of shit I have ever read! STARTED BY: SoundableObject, February 12th 2009 NOMINATED BY: Seb Patrick Yet another individual post, or rather just one part of an individual post, this one nominated for the sheer mundanity. HALL OF FAME POST: I found out at about 2pm so I had already had a sandwich by that time, unless I had soup or something – SoundableObject ‘Red Dwarf- Animated’…New Online Series STARTED BY: karcreat, July 2nd 2009 NOMINATED BY: Phil A ridiculously huge thread in which some people start a Red Dwarf animated series, ask for feedback, get snooty about the feedback, get told to fuck off, start flirting with a married woman, continue to discuss their animated series on G&T’s bandwidth, get told to stop being rude, and then everyone just bickers about whether or not that was fair for ages. That gives you some idea of truly how exciting some days can be around here. SAMPLE POST: And I’m not trying to hit on you either, redhead. I’m seeing three girls already and I’m sure at least one of them would take exception to that. :) – Ben Paddon Blue Midget dance = blatent clue to hallucination STARTED BY: Tonguetied, December 1st 2009 NOMINATED BY: Ian Symes Aww, who remembers Tonguetied? He was a strange man who was seemingly obsessed with Blue Midget, particularly whether or not the Blue Midget page on TOS would ever be updated. This is one of his trademark tedious threads, along with the usual inventive offensiveness that greeted it. SAMPLE POST: Next up on G+T: Testicular Cancer – what’s the point of it? – Pete Part Three T-Shirts for Sale STARTED BY: Plastic Percy, January 5th 2012 NOMINATED BY: Phil Guy turns up to sell some t-shirts, receives interest, then comes back with the news that they’ve been sold elsewhere. It’s a classic tale. SAMPLE POST: ‘sokay. I’ll adopt the thread. I have some Red Dwarf underpants for sale. I guess they’re not official Red Dwarf merchandise but there is a crusty stain that looks kind of like Blue Midget if you squint a bit. I’ll accept Paypal. Or a handjob – Pete Part Three If you walked down the Hayes (Cardiff) wearing a green coat and an Ace Rimmer t-shirt today… STARTED BY: thomasaevans, February 27th 2012 NOMINATED BY: Danny Stephenson G&T briefly becomes the Metro’s Commuter Cupid feature, with hilarious musical consequences. One particular post was singled out for Hall of Fame status, but the whole thing is worth a read. HALL OF FAME POST: “I like…” “UK Sitcoms” “Like Red Dwarf…” “…Eight” “It’s not considered the best one” “No, but I like it” “Well I don’t” “Fuck you then” – Pete Part Three Question for those who saw an episode (or more) filmed STARTED BY: Phil, May 29th 2012 NOMINATED BY: Ridley When Ridley nominated this thread after only twelve replies, he had no idea how right he would be proven to be. A perennial favourite – it’s The One Where Every Word’s Butter – and it’s always a delight whenever it gets dusted off for another round, or when its influence spreads to other threads. Haha, I said “spreads”. SAMPLE POST: If you’ve got nothing to spread, you can’t be with bread – Slainmonkey USA fans Crap Treatmant STARTED BY: Pecospete666, October 18th 2012 NOMINATED BY: Ian Symes Remember Pecospete666? He was an amusingly persistent troll for a little while, banging on about issues that are only of interest to himself, continually referring to “Vogans”, posting irrelevant pictures in every thread, and getting increasingly angry whenever he was told off. The highlight of his tenure as most annoying regular was when he dialled in to our live 25th anniversary DwarfCast, told Cappsy to fuck off, and then hung up. He can now be found on Twitter, where he’s a hardcore Trump supporter, having turned his ire and penchant for tedious images towards the mainstream media. This is a typical thread of his, which doesn’t seem quite so funny with that in mind. SAMPLE POST: You sound like some little girl that had her pig tails pulled? Are you a girl? This matter was settled by Doug the same day! Why are you trying to make something out of it? Are you TROLLING? Are you a little girl troll? – Pecospete666 PLOTS FOR SERIES 11 STARTED BY: Pecospete666, October 28th 2012 NOMINATED BY: Phil This thread has the distinction of being the only one to have been retroactively nominated for the Hall of Fame, from a completely different thread. It was fully deserving of the honour. An appeal for future episode ideas leads to hilariously inappropriate suggestions. Around 300 of them, over the space of four years. When a similar thread started up last year, it reminded Phil of the original, and now both threads stand as a comprehensive archive of filth and stupidity. SAMPLE POST: Birdman is back…and he’s getting married! Lister, Rimmer, Kryten and Cat all fall over themselves (and each other!) in the hopes of becoming his best man. In the end he tells them that they’re all great men…and therefore none of them can truly be the best. He then rides Pete into the sunset. In a fun B-plot, Lister finds a stranded human being in need of aid. His actions directly result in her gruesome death and he doesn’t give a shit. – Phil Rimmericks STARTED BY: si, November 13th 2012 NOMINATED BY: Ben Paddon Another hands down classic. A poetry competition on TOS inspires a series of limericks that would have been too off-brand for consideration. The results were varied, as you’d expect, and the whole thing descended into a squabble about the rules of limericks, as you’d expect. SAMPLE POST: There once was a man with a plan. He’d planned it – it was his plan. On a farm he’d breed horses With horses and horses But for Krissie, he’d need a dustpan. – clem Red Dwarf is Back on Netflix Streaming, but… STARTED BY: KyoSo, January 6th 2013 NOMINATED BY: Ian Symes Here’s a funny one. This thread, about a strange interpretation of Epideme in the synopsis on Netflix, eventually became a repository for people’s own amusingly point-missing summaries of episodes, which in turn subconsciously inspired the “In Brief” entries in G&T’s Complete Guide. But it turns out that this thread’s only here because one individual comment got nominated very early on, some time before the real funny stuff started. HALL OF FAME POST: Later the SS Herpes is infected with a chlamydionic microbe. – Jonsmad Sebby P STARTED BY: Nancy Hemming, May 16th 2013 NOMINATED BY: Kris This was a thread by a particularly horrible piece of shit who held a grudge against Seb Patrick for something that had happened on the TOS forums, and decided to follow him over to G&T and pester him here, until he eventually became one of only a handful of people to get banned. I can’t remember what half of his nonsense was in reference to, and it’s probably best off staying that way. SAMPLE POST: God, he was Seb. Sebby Patrick, we used to call him. Hello, SEBBY. How’s your acne, SEBBY? – Ian Symes I Complained To The BBC Tonight STARTED BY: Pete Tranter’s Sister, August 11th 2015 NOMINATED BY: Ben Paddon Ah, and now we move on to the section of the Hall of Fame containing threads started by bellends that are still here, albeit with new accounts now. Pete Tranter’s Sister shares the complaint letter he’s sent to the BBC, and is called an absolute fucking idiot. SAMPLE POST: You absolute fucking idiot. – John Hoare That Old, Fake BtE Synopsis STARTED BY: KyoSo, February 22nd 2017 NOMINATED BY: Jonathan Capps The first new thread to be nominated for years, and it’s just Cappsy taking the piss. Probably best not dwell on the implications of that. SAMPLE POST: Ah, right, yes – I only spotted it the other day, then couldnt find the thread when I checked back yesterday, so assumed it had been nuked. Anyway, the point is…actually there is no point. As you were. – Paul Muller Test STARTED BY: Phobos And Deimos, August 9th 2017 NOMINATED BY: clem And that brings us right up to date, with a thread from this very month. It’s another ironic nomination, although it does handily contain a round-up of some of the most recent in-jokes, including “should X have continued after Y?”, “is X wearing a wig?” and “cloche”. SAMPLE POST: Hall of Cloche – cwickham So, what have we learned? Well, we’ve learned that people don’t tend to use the phrase “hall of fame” nearly as much nowadays as they did in around 2008-9, and that therefore this article might have seemed more relevant if we hadn’t waited so long to put it together. But then what butter tribute to our decade-old Forum than cobbling something half-arsed together, only for it to quickly descend into unpleasantness, mundanity, and impenetrable in-jokes? It really is a place like no other – its personality is distinct even from the rest of G&T – and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Well, apart from the constant cycle of debates about Series VII and VIII. You can stop that now.
There once was a Hall of Fame Which for years existed only in name It’s now mostly a catalogue Of fake plots, trolls and a chlamydionic microbe Should Red Dwarf have continued after Epideme?
Looking back at the reaction to Matt Smith’s casting is incredibly interesting I was really annoyed by it – I thought they were going for the Twilight audience and going for the pretty-boy Doctor shit that started with Tennant that I never liked. The Doctor should be an old man! Then, he turned out to absolutely get the “incredibly old man in a young man’s body” thing and turned out to be (in my opinion) one of the best Doctors, surpassing Tennant by a country mile. Funny how these things go. It’s also why I’m reserving judgement on Thirteen until they have a series under their belt. Could be dreadful, could be another Smith-tier surprise. Anyway, back to Red Dwarf. There have been some dreadful posts in this forum, believe me. Such as this one. Series VII is good.
Matt Smith turned out to be my favourite (so far) of the 21st Century Doctors. Eccleston only getting one series sort of precludes him from being the best unfortunately – who knows how he would have developed into the role given time – but what he gave us was very good. Capaldi was great too, I want to kiss Moffat for having the balls to just fucking go out and cast an old man as the Doctor again, despite what the BBC or certain fans might wish for. That’s exactly the kind of boldness I appreciate.
My greatest contribution to the world at large. In all honesty, I’ve wondered if I started that “I nominate this thread for Hall of Fame status” garbage or if I picked it up somewhere else. I genuinely can’t remember. Regardless, it’s here now, and we all have to deal with it.
This article reminds me of how slow I was to sign up instead of just lurking, considering I found the site before any of us even knew Back to Earth was going to be a thing, yet never bothered invoking posting privileges until XI hype was well underway. I think it’s because you had to email in for posting permission following an influx of bots and/or shitposters around the BTE period, and I was too much of a fanny to introduce myself in that manner. Or I couldn’t be arsed. One of the two. And now I am one of those very shitposters! (Aside – I partly finally signed up because I was using “Captain Bollocks” as a disqus handle for about three years before it appeared in Red Dwarf, and I didn’t want anyone else to have it. And in that post-XI year, not one person has asked me if it’s a reference to Red Dwarf, not even the bloke I came across on a pro wrestling forum with a picture of Nicholas Lyndhurst and the username “Gary Sparrow”.) FASCINATING INSIGHT.
Looking back over “PLOTS FOR SERIES 11”, I was greatly amused to see my first contribution has Cat turning into a polymorph in Episode 6. Close enough. Really pleased to be responsible for two of the entries on here, but obviously more so the Netflix one since that resulted in the hilarious short descriptions for the Silver Survey.
The very first thread was started by an man announcing he was having a wank “An man”? An Man on An Skateboard.
True fact. Take a look at this page for the Channel 5 documentary ‘The Woman With Half a Body’, aired in 2005: https://www.tigressproductions.co.uk/productions/the-woman-with-half-a-body/ The original title, changed before TX? ‘Half Woman, Half Skateboard’.
This article reminds me of how slow I was to sign up instead of just lurking, considering I found the site before any of us even knew Back to Earth was going to be a thing, yet never bothered invoking posting privileges until XI hype was well underway. I think it’s because you had to email in for posting permission following an influx of bots and/or shitposters around the BTE period, and I was too much of a fanny to introduce myself in that manner. Or I couldn’t be arsed. One of the two. And now I am one of those very shitposters! (Aside – I partly finally signed up because I was using “Captain Bollocks” as a disqus handle for about three years before it appeared in Red Dwarf, and I didn’t want anyone else to have it. And in that post-XI year, not one person has asked me if it’s a reference to Red Dwarf, not even the bloke I came across on a pro wrestling forum with a picture of Nicholas Lyndhurst and the username “Gary Sparrow”.) FASCINATING INSIGHT. Gary Sparrow has a paucity of curiosity concerning other people’s user names.
So for Four Years, we were making jokes punning and crowbaring “Butter” into every line in Red Dwarf history, And last October we stopped doing that or at least thats when that threads last post was dated, and so no one pointed out the arrival around that time, of “Butter-ler” as a new character in Red Dwarf cannon. Yet the very same new episode he arrived in, that first discussion thread on Krysis, manages to birth “Cloche” into the comedic lexicon of G&T in jokes instead. “Cloches” over “Butter” how fitting.
