Ian’s Newsround – 13/09/17

You know you’re getting close to a new series when there’s enough news happening that we need to dust off this old format. Here’s a handy round-up of everything that’s happened since our last news update on Friday lunchtime, in order of how-much-we-have-to-say-on-the-topic.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WOMAN, SHE’S SFX MAD – Today saw the latest issue of SFX hit the newsstands, featuring on its cover a photograph of four really familiar-looking men. It was never going to be as prolific as last year’s coverage, so there’s no little booklet this time round, but there is an eight page feature on the show with contributions from all four cast members and both Naylors. The bulk is taken up by the cast answering fans’ questions, most of which will be familiar to convention-goers, and are more often about the show’s past instead of the upcoming series. The only new information of note comes in this answer to a question about whether they’d like to see the Cat people return:

JOHN-JULES Well, funny you should say that… We kind of delve into that topic. I won’t say how far, but we delve into it in series XII. Not in the guise that you’re talking about, but you will see! [laughter] It’s true. What is not true about that? You tell me that what I just told you is rubbish!

BARRIE All you’ve said is true – it’s just the length of time you took to say it.

JOHN-JULES I was trying not to do spoilers, and I get knocked for it. I just hope Doug Naylor’s reading this!

So a hint that the Cat race might be explored in the coming series, or perhaps more likely fleetingly referenced, as Danny’s many caveats seem to suggest. Meanwhile, the Naylors get a much smaller feature, which touches upon the differences between XI and XII, with Richard rebuffing suggestions from “some of the audiences” that Series XII is deliberately “a bit more out there” than its stablemate, saying “it’s just the way it worked out”. Ooh, I think he’s talking about us. And telling us we’re wrong. Fair enough so.

Doug talks about Norman’s return, and how there’s a need for the show to also ensure it’s covering new ground, resisting the temptation to bring back “Duane Dibbley and Ace Rimmer and Polymorphs left, right and centre”. He also discusses a potential future for the show after XII, insisting he’ll only keep Dwarf going for as long as he’s got enough ideas. His final contribution to the feature is to give three-word tiny teasers for each of the new episodes, all titles of which are reproduced as they appear in the magazine:

CURED: Stranded / Evil / Jamming

SILICONICA: MILF / Krytenified / Clean-off

TIMER WAVE: Criticism / Pink / Scar

MECHOCRACY: Revolt / Election / Glasses

M CORP: Good / Bad /

SKIPPER: He / Is / Back

Now I know technically speaking that was only seventeen words, etc. This should hopefully resolve any remaining doubts as to which bits of the series synopsis refer to which episodes – “he is back” couldn’t refer to anyone else, could it?

The feature is largely illustrated with snaps from the cast interview and the publicity stills that we’ve already seen, but there are a handful of new ones. We’re not going to reproduce them here, as it seems a bit cheeky when the mag’s only just gone on sale, and they’ll undoubtedly be released online at some point soon. But we are willing to describe them:

• Around the sleeping quarters table, Lister and Rimmer eye Cat suspiciously as they play cards, while Kryten watches on, wearing an apron and using a wooden spoon (we think – his body is mostly hidden by Lister’s).
• In some sort of corridor or landing bay or something, the four of them with heavy chains attached to their necks.
• Lister sitting on the medi-bay bed, about to tuck in to a giant plate of chips.
• In what looks like a guest set, Lister and Kryten either stuffing Rimmer into a big metal crate, or rescuing Rimmer from a big metal crate, while Cat watches on, wearing a towel round his neck.

DON’T YOU THINK IT’S INCREDIBLE? I AM A-UKTV LIVE! – Today saw the annual UKTV Live event, this year held at London’s fashionable Claridge’s. Chris, Craig, Robert and Doug were in attendance, and took part in a Q&A hosted by Katherine Ryan. A selection of props were on display (and people were allowed to manhandle them, apparently), including a small green ship known as Red Dwarf, according to one journalist. There doesn’t appear to have been any Dwarf-related Periscope action this time around, so the best us poor not-invited-this-time souls can take from today is this amusing picture. It takes a lot to have the funniest face in a photo that features Chris Barrie, so hats off to Doug. You can peruse other highlights from the day via the hashtag, or in this Moment that UKTV curated.

OOF, BLIMEY CHARLIE. DON’T LET THEM DISTRACT YOU, PATRICK – Competition time! As usually seems to happen this time of year, UKTV have launched a retweet-to-win Red Dwarf compo. The prize this time is something pretty special – the chance to be Red Dwarf‘s continuity announcer! This is the kind of niche thing that certain members of the G&T team would kill for, although on the other hand they’d probably boycott the competition on the basis that channel continuity should be done live.

THE LONDON JETS JUNIORS! – This is slightly old news by now, but there’s a new t-shirt on sale, and it’s about bloody time. Most of the discussion on this has already been done, but just to add that deliveries are starting to arrive, and the feedback is good. We applaud this – more t-shirts based on classic show iconography, please.

TWENTY’S PLENTY – The details for the next Dimension Jump have been released, and despite the fact that I’ve barely recovered from the last one, the every-other-year pattern has been broken to ensure that the twentieth Dimension Jump will take place in Red Dwarf‘s thirtieth anniversary year. See you in Nottingham in October 2018.

I think that’s about it – I asked the rest of the G&T team if there was anything else to round up, and the only other business is that John wants you to know he had a wank earlier. Here’s hoping for yet another exciting Friday lunchtime.

UPDATE! BREAKING LAGER NEWS – Mere minutes after this article was published, as if to spite me, Doug Naylor tweeted:

Tasted the beer that'll be called Leopard lager 2day. Carlsberg probably no longer best lager in world. Truly smeggin' awesome. #RedDwarfXII

— Doug Naylor (@DougRDNaylor) September 13, 2017

Wat. Are we getting a promotional Leopard Lager to buy?!