G&T News logo in the style of the 90s BBC 9 O'Clock News titlesForget Harry and Meghan, this is the real story. After nearly 17 years of writing on Ganymede & Titan – I started when I was a useless 21 year old, and I’m now a useless 38 year old – it’s time for me to hang up my steaming moon boots, mumble something about you all being people I met, and say goodbye.

Before we see a digitalised recording of my final moments, there’s going to be a lengthy tribute, interspersed with poetry readings, read by… hang on, “digitalised”? That sounds fairly archaic now, doesn’t it? And if the material is digitalised, why are there analogue tape artefacts when Lister fast-forwards the tape?

You really aren’t going to miss this kind of bullshit from me, are you?

Anyway: spin on. I’m not going to bore you with a long, tedious examination of my time in Red Dwarf fandom. Hell, if you want that, all you have to do is read G&T’s archives. Suffice to say, my years here have been some of the most fun I’ve ever had, and have somewhat taken away the sting of my schooldays where actually being interested in something was regarded with a great deal of suspicion. To be part of something where I could write ridiculous things like this has made me very happy over the years.

But maybe the writing was on the wall when I wrote this back in 2017. My relationship with Dwarf has been troubled at the best of times over the last decade, and that article nails a lot of my uncomfortableness. Recently, I’ve been glancing over at certain Star Wars fans, consumed with bile about the latest supposed injustice that has been performed in the name of mass entertainment. Maybe I’m unlikely to end up like that, but I’m not sure having to have immediate opinions on stuff I’m often not that keen on is particularly good for the soul.

It’s not just that, though; something else has become clear to me over the last year. Every time I put real effort into G&T, my own stupid little site, Dirty Feed suffers. This was particularly true last year, where I made a resolution to publish something new on G&T every single month… and Dirty Feed languished. And writing nonsense for my own site is really where my heart is these days. If I want to make Dirty Feed all I want it to be, something has to give. I’m not 21 any more; I have neither the endless time nor the endless energy to do it all. Two hours of sleep before a busy workday is no longer an option.

Thank you to everyone who’s read my crap on here over the years; I really appreciate it. Yes, even you, performingmonkey. (If anyone wants to stay in touch, grabbing me on Twitter is probably your best bet.) Thanks also to everyone who’s been part of G&T and Observation Dome, both past and present. I leave you in the more than capable hands of Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps, and Danny Stephenson. See you, smegheads.

Transfer.

33 comments on “# Wipe the tear, baby dear, from your eye-ee… #

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  • My flabber is, quite literally, ghasted. Not because I don’t understand your decision, John – but just because your recent articles here are so brilliant, that I’m surprised they were written out of obligations you set yourself.

    Anyway, my reaction to this is wholly selfish and you must of course, do you. I will continue to read and enjoy Dirty Feed but this will take some getting used to round these parts. It is the end of an era.

    God speed and bless you son!

  • What the fuck John?!

    Wow I’m shocked. I’m gonna miss your articles here; the amount of research you put into minutiae is what makes them such a great read to me, along with your sense of humour. I’m excited to see you bring that level of detail to other shows more often now. Every cloud, etc.

    Regardless I’m glad this isn’t a total goodbye from the ‘net, I look forward to seeing DF flourish (and the podcast I hope, put those JAM jingles to work!) and I’m glad you’re still about on twitter (I’m peepingsignal there, btw). You’re legitimately my favourite person on that hellsite.

    Stoke me a clipper and good luck.

  • You really aren’t going to miss this kind of bullshit from me, are you?

    Yes, John, yes. That is exactly the kind of bullshit I’m going to miss.

  • Aw, this is a shame, especially in light of some of those recent great articles.

    But at the same time, I totally understand the reasoning and think it’s probably healthy. More people in fandoms of all kinds should have that same level of self-awareness – I think the world would be a much happier place.

    Cheers for all the great stuff over the years and please keep posting the Dirty Feed links here to keep us abreast of the new stuff.

  • I can’t say much else than echo what everyone else has said so far. I’ve loved your articles, they make G&T a special kind of fan site and have always been ridiculously interesting to read.

    But your reasons for hanging up the keyboard for this site at least are all good ones. You can’t force yourself to write something your not invested in in the same way anymore.

    Seeya smegger.

  • Well this is monumental. Your stuff for G&T is always interesting, and your unique viewpoint and humour will be much missed. I enjoy a great deal of your writing on Dirty Feed, so long may that continue, and you’re an excellent presence on Twitter, but Johnless G&T… :(

    > You really aren’t going to miss this kind of bullshit from me, are you?

    That’s exactly the kind of bullshit we’re gonna miss, John. Thank you so much for all of it.

  • Awful news.

    I’m really going to miss your Dwarf stuff on here, John. I don’t comment enough on how much I’ve enjoyed the articles but I bloody have done. xx

  • Pfft. Don’t forget to write, you great nancy.

    I owe so much to both John and Tanya, and not just because of G&T. Seventeen years ago, when we first met, I was a painfully shy teenager, but John and Tanya instantly became the first people ever that I felt I could truly be myself around. Others soon followed of course, but if it wasn’t for that initial boost in confidence and self-esteem that they gave me, I don’t know if I’d have been able to go on and pursue my dream career, appear on telly, perform comedy, host live podcasts, etc. Most importantly, if it wasn’t for mine and John’s little hobby keeping me an active part of the Red Dwarf fan community, I’d know hardly *any* of the people who are now my best friends, including the woman who’s about to become the mother of my child. The impact that these two people have had on my life is immeasurable.

    G&T will of course carry on regardless – updates may fluctuate in frequency a little, but that’s always been the case anyway. I can’t pretend I’m not a little bit heartbroken that this has happened, but I’ll always be incredibly grateful for the wonderful times we had as this particular group, and most of all extremely proud of everything that John and I have achieved together since 2003.

    #smegxit

  • It’s insane when you put it into perspective, 21 to 38, about 17 years. All the stuff that happened in that time and how incredible it is sticking to Red Dwarf when the first 7 of those years were nothing but futile speculation over a proposed movie.

    Yet, it was kept alive, and the only reason we’re getting the closet reincarnation to that said movie this year is because fans like you kept it alive in those wilderness years and beyond.

    You succeeded spectacularly, and for this accomplishment, we award him this: Ian, place First Officer John’s decoration into the coffin.

    Gentlemen, First Officer John! *Rimmer salutes*

  • Sorry to see you go, John. I’ve enjoyed the unique & fascinating contributions to this site from you over the years. Hopefully you’ll stick strict instuctions to the fridge of Broadcunting House in regard to what to look out for in the placing of the ad breaks in the upcoming special. All the best.

  • Fucking hell, you heartbreaker, you! Gutted to hear/read this. Your articles have always been some of my favourites to read. I’ve always enjoyed the work, the unique perspectives into my favourite show. It’s what’s made this fandom so fun and special for me. I’m just glad you’re still going to be writing as I personally think it’d be a crime if you were to ever stop doing that. One of the best writers and I love reading everything you’ve contributed here, as well as on your own site. Wishing you all the best, and will miss your wonderful bullshit on here.

  • I will miss your articles on here, but also looking forward to what you’ve got coming up for Dirty Feed. See you there.

  • Oh, no! 😢

    Sorry to hear this, John, but fully understand your reasons. Thank you for taking a moment to draft this farewell post. It conveniently gives us opportunity to appreciate the last 17 years of material – it’s an extraordinary legacy. And while your departure marks a loss to the Red Dwarf universe, I look forward to the broad range of possibilities this – fingers crossed – opens up for Dirty Feed. 🤗

    For now, thanks for the memory.

  • Have spent some time today trying to put my thoughts into words but not sure I have anything to add. Will just say that I have also always greatly enjoyed everything you’ve written here, am also sorry to see you go, and best for the future.

  • A real shame, but you gotta do what is right for you. I will just say that the funniest thing I ever read on G&T was one of yours.

  • John, you are a living legend. Your content on G&T, and hilarious wit and charm in the Dwarfcasts, have brought me much joy over the years. Wishing you all the best in your future endeavours. :)

    P.S. would love to hear your thoughts on the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic finale. Can you do a few articles about that show on Dirty Feed sometime? :D

  • Sad to see you go John but I can absolutely understand your reasons. Thank you for all your efforts over the years, somehow you managed to make numerous lengthy articles about bits of grey wall incredibly engaging and fun – your presence and writing will, as I’m sure you know, be sorely missed. I look forward to reading more of your work on Dirty Feed.

    But regardless of what the future holds, we’ll always have foaming twats.

  • Wow. Thank you so much everyone. I didn’t expect a reaction quite like this. You’re all ridiculously kind.

    One thing I didn’t say in the article is that while I’m giving Red Dwarf stuff a wide berth this year*, I do still have a list of potential articles about the older stuff I want to write, and some of those might end up on Dirty Feed at some point. In particular, I’d like to finish Set to Rights, for Series 1 and 2 at least. But it won’t be for a while.

    Oh, and Stabbim: I’m a few seasons behind on Friendship is Magic, so I can’t really write about it yet. I’m sure I’ll do something at some point. The fact that I’m a few seasons behind a show which is my FUCKING AVATAR might explain one reason why I struggle with having to keep up with Red Dwarf: my viewing habits are a bit inconsistent these days!

    Again, thank you all so much. This was a difficult thing to do after 17 years, but I hope it’s the right thing.

    * And as I’m not now a registered G&Ter, a wide berth is all you get.

  • Thanks very much for all your work John. Very much appreciated over the years.Will have to sign up to dirty feed! Hope to buy you a thank you drink at DJ this year.

  • Oh, John. I’m so sad to hear your news. I’ve been visiting this site since dusty old 2003 and your in-depth and unique takes on subjects that you are so passionate about has been an absolute delight. I totally understand that you feel the need to move on and dedicate your time to different things. Remember you have lots of friends here. You’ll also be missed on the DwarfCasts (is Tania leaving too?) but I shall continue to follow you on Dirty Feed.

    Thanks again for the many wonderful articles, opinions, sound bites, arguments and laughs over the years. It’s been an absolute pleasure, sir.

  • I’ll never forget the thrill of discovering you all around about 2009 and catching up on all the Dwarfcasts up to that point. No one wants to hear me twatting on about Krytie TV or Tikka To Ride so you’ve always been a much appreciated outlet. Thank you all and I look forward to further adventures both here and wherever else you show up from here on. Special thanks to John and Tania for introducing me to Filthy Rich and Catflap.

  • Thanks again, all. I am absurdly grateful.

    I probably won’t be checking in and commenting much here, as I think that would be a bit odd. (Truth be told, I’m not even planning to watch the Special immediately on broadcast; I’m going to wait a few months and try to go into it with a different mindset than usual.) But as I say, grab me on Twitter if you fancy a chat. DMs are fine.

    A couple of people have asked about Tanya. She’s also no longer part of G&T either.

  • Whether you read this or not, I just want to thank you, John, and say what you’ve done here with G&T is nothing short of amazing. Every article always interesting, and as in-depth as this show deserved. It’s been a pleasure reading, or hearing, your opinions, negative or not. I hope you don’t think any negativity about the more recent series’ has brought anything down, cause it really hasn’t. It’s always been a fascinating read/listen, and there’s no harm in being real.

    It’s been a bloody long time since I first came here, and even though I’ve been an arsehole (which I genuinely apologise for, I was justtrying to be funny and fucking up at every turn), it can’t be over-stated how important G&T was to me, and others, particularly in the early days. You and Ian are legendary figures in Dwarfdom (and, of course, Mr Capps et al), and you made a huge difference being there for the fandom, keeping it alive and present in our lives. This was, and remains, my Red Dwarf home. I firmly believe Dwarf would not be in the healthy state it is right now without G&T, past and present; this place constantly proving how much fans care about the show and want it to succeed. The importance of G&T can’t be measured.

    Thanks again, John, for everything. We get to experience everyone’s writings, just in different places. It’s like the Oasis split, only none of you tried to twat the other round the head with a guitar (that we’re aware of…). Seriously, best of luck to you, and good wishes to all G&T.

  • Cheers, performingmonkey. That means a lot.

    The fact I actually namechecked you in my goodbye piece is a sign that… I love you, man. I really really love you. The REAL arseholes don’t get a namecheck. The site would have been immensely poorer without you over the years.

  • It will be a sadder site without you, John. But I also look forward to the meatier Doctor At Large type of articles you will surely nail.
    And let’s hope a guest spot on a future Dwarfcast or two! (Providing you’re allowed access to G&T Towers.)

  • Thanks for all the great content, John. I don’t post as often as most but have been reading this site since the days of the DVD reviews. It’s fair to say that the level of interest that I continue to have in Dwarf has been kept alive through this site. I love the show but certainly without this site and the content and contributions from both the admins and the users there would be a lot less to look forward to with each new series and the older series certainly wouldn’t occupy my thoughts as much as they do. Articles aside, the great thing about this site is that people with all sorts of different opinions on Dwarf old and new (let’s be honest, opinions mainly vary post-VI) can post and discuss their thoughts without fear of being trashed or trolled for their opinions. Most of us love a lot of Dwarf, hate some of it, and have mixed feelings over big chunks and its great that that this site provides a place where we can all share that with one another.

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