Objection! News Posted by Ian Symes on 6th February 2021, 22:16 Today was the first day of Holly Hop, and despite the presence of Rob Grant and Paul Jackson, two of the three remaining directors of Grant Naylor Productions, we really didn’t expect this week’s rather shocking news to be mentioned, especially considering the Fan Club team politely requested of attendees that it wasn’t brought up during Q&As throughout the day. However, it was clear from very early on in their appearance, as they prepared to commentate on White Hole alongside their usual cohort Ed Bye, that the pair wanted to address the topic. So they both did, and then some. Here is an exact, verbatim transcript of what they said, starting with Rob Grant: I’ve got to address the elephant in the room, really. Hello, Nellie. There’s been a bit of chat about certain developments, and honestly we’re not going to go into them here. Today, we’re here for fun, we’re here to meet our pals and talk about the show we all like. That’s it, across the globe, it’s about fun and it’s about virtual companionship, that’s what we’re doing here. Having said that, I know a lot of you are distressed, understandably. I’ve seen in the forum about reports about the killing of Red Dwarf. I can honestly reassure everyone, we have no intention of killing off Red Dwarf. It’s a mad suggestion. Anyone who’s seen any of these commentaries must know how we feel about the show. We all want Red Dwarf to go on and on and on. We want series and specials and stage shows and movies and spin-offs. We want Red Dwarf flying out of our buttskis. Why wouldn’t we? Seriously? And I would really love, personally, to write some of it, just for the record. So don’t worry, we all want the small rouge one to carry on, even more than you do. And honestly, let’s not clog up the chat line with any more of this nonsense. After an interjection about accidentally spilling rum all over his computer and printer, Paul Jackson then continued: Listen, just to echo what Rob says, of course we want this done. And having worked with him this week, it’s been a joy, for the first time in 25 years, to work with Rob on a new Red Dwarf script. It’s only a little cameo, you’ll see it tomorrow. I hope you get as much fun out of it as we have already. But there’s no way that he doesn’t love writing and creating situations and dialogue for these characters. So look, we all want it to happen. Talk is cheap. And I would just say this. Anybody can say they want it to happen, of course they can. We’ve actually already signed up. Just to be very clear, we’ve already signed our contract for the next iteration of Red Dwarf, whatever it may be, a new special or series, whatever it may be. We signed it last year, everything was negotiated and agreed, we happily signed. Everything was set out – how many, how much, how long. It stipulates very clearly that Doug will be the writer, the director and the executive producer of any such commission. And we’re all delighted and thrilled, and we quite honestly thought by this time we’d have got it going. So we’re ready and waiting, there’s nothing we could do to stop it if we wanted to, because we’ve signed a contract already. So when we say we want to see it happen, we want it so much we’ve already signed our contract. So come on boys, let’s get this together and get something else commissioned. The pair then both excitedly exclaimed “yay, more Red Dwarf“, and there was much rejoicing. So what to make of this? Clearly there are elements of these speeches that contradict what was reported in the Daily Mail, but then we always knew that we were only getting half a story, at most. It’s not for us to speculate about who’s right and wrong, as we simply have no idea where the truth lies, although I suspect it’s somewhere in the middle. I’m now holding out hope that a lot of it boils down to misunderstanding and miscommunication. The impression you get from Paul is that there’s every chance that these legal hurdles can be cleared – his closing lines sound like a rallying cry for all parties to sit down and get it all sorted. He certainly seems clear that he and Rob are more than happy for Doug to continue to make new Dwarf, even going as far as signing a contract to indicate as such. To clarify, as some of the inital second-hand reports from the convention may have lead to confusion, he’s not saying that a new series or special has been green lit, but merely that permission has been granted by Grant Naylor Productions for a commission to be sought, as I understand it. It’s definitely a much, much more positive picture than the one that was painted the other day. Yes, there’s currently a problem. Yes, there’s seemingly a legal issue. Yes, it’s still deeply unpleasant that it’s come to this. But now it doesn’t seem insurmountable. There have always been problems with new Red Dwarf getting made – like we said the other day, it’s never fucking easy, is it? – but it always seems to come good in the end. Maybe this is just yet another delay, rather than a full stop. And then there’s the other thing. Rob Grant wants to write more Red Dwarf. Yes please. The chances of him and Doug ever writing together again were already slim before this week, and now they’re so slim that they only exist on a sub-atomic level. I would never want Doug to stop writing Red Dwarf either, and quite apart from the fact that it would be fundamentally wrong to take it away from him after being the sole creative custodian for around a quarter of a century, Paul clearly specified that the deal that’s in place includes Doug at its heart, fulfilling the exact same roles he’s covered since Back To Earth. But I can see a world in which they both write Red Dwarf, but separately. Some people have suggested that they could split writing duties on a series, taking three episodes each, but that doesn’t seem tenable to me. Instead, how about Doug continues with TV Red Dwarf, producing more and more specials every year or two, and Rob covers the other things he tantalisingly mentions. Spin-offs or novels or audio plays. An expanded Red Dwarf universe, with both of the show’s creators at the helm. We could end up with Doug Dwarf *and* Rob Dwarf. Pinch me.