My dearest friends, I hereby declare that voting for the Coral Canvass, our mega 35th anniversary poll, is now OVER. A huge thank you to everyone who took part and indeed helped us spread the word. Submission numbers were way beyond our expectations – more than double the amount of responses we got for the Pearl Poll five years ago. And let me tell you, the results are very interesting indeed. You think certain episodes’ positions are set in stone? Think again. All will be revealed at 9am on Wednesday 15th February, right here on ganymede.tv.

But that’s not all! For the previous two milestone anniversaries, we’ve accompanied the results with a little anniversary party in the form of a Live DwarfCast. This year is no exception, other than the small detail that it will be a Live Video DwarfCast instead! That’s right, not only will you have to put up with irritating voices, you also have to see our repugnant faces too. So make a note in your diary to be online at 9pm on Wednesday 15th February over on our Youtube channel (though the video will be embedded here too). We’ll be discussing the poll results in full, as well as dealing with your live waffles and also playing a little game…

Yes, because doing our first ever live video stream wasn’t ambitious enough, part of the entertainment will be CLOCHEBUSTERS, a Red Dwarf-themed game show. And for that we’ll need contestants! Three of them, to be specific. To apply, you’ll need the following…

  • Availability from 9pm-11pm GMT on Wednesday 15th February
  • A reliable and half-decent internet connection
  • A webcam and microphone (which can be the built in ones on your device, we don’t need anything fancy)
  • Access to Discord, which is what we’ll be using for the video call

There are absolutely no prizes to be won, so what are you waiting for? If you’re interested, just email admin@ganymede.tv with the subject line “Clochebusters” and we’ll take it from there. (Note for foreigners and young people, this is what we’re ripping off lovingly homaging.) See you in two weeks. And you’ll see us too…

40 comments on “Coral Canvass Closed! Anniversary Adventures Announced!

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  • Ooh, the prospect of certain episodes ending up in surprising places is intriguing! As long as that’s not because the poll has been disrupted to a coordinated review bombing campaign by a group of series VIII devotees trying to get the Back in the Red trilogy into a higher position than Back to Reality…?

    The streaming event sounds fun. Looking forward to it!

    (By the way, the link to this page on the now-closed Coral Canvass survey page is broken; that link points to the URL /2023/01 instead of /2023/02.)

  • “more than double the amount of responses we got for the Pearl Poll five years ago”

    That is very pleasantly surprising. Fully expected the Pearl Pearl to be the peak considering the response to that.

  • Is it possible for us to still view our personal scores even if the poll is closed? 

    As long as that’s not because the poll has been disrupted to a coordinated review bombing campaign by a group of series VIII devotees trying to get the Back in the Red trilogy into a higher position than Back to Reality…?

    It’s too hideous to contemplate.

  • As long as that’s not because the poll has been disrupted to a coordinated review bombing campaign

    I always wanted to ask about this during the voting season, but didn’t want to encourage vandalism, like they wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise. G&T have said they discarded obvious trolling or no-effort polls in the past, but then you get things like that one person who chose Krytie TV as their #1 episode where you might just have to give the benefit of the doubt.

  • We’ve been monitoring the results as they come in, and while there are certainly some people out there with very strange opinions, there’s nothing that looks like trolling. Some people do really like Series VII and VIII, and some people aren’t so keen on Series 1 and 2 – we’ve got a really broad range of people from various parts of fandom taking part, and it’s somewhat a relief that we’re not just seeing our own opinions parroted back at us! But nobody did anything obviously trolling like putting Back To Reality as a 1 and Pete (Part Two) as a 10, so I think we’re safe. The final results feel right – there are big surprises in individual placings, but each episode is in the rough area of the chart you’d expect it to be. 

    In all, we only discounted one set of votes, because they said in the comments that they’d scored every episode they hadn’t seen or were less familiar with as a 1, despite the guidance being very clear. 

  • I suppose I’m interested to know how many people put their email in, rated one episode, and gave up. Since this format does allow for that to be counted as a perfectly legitimate score, and all.

  • …I still think Coral Canvass should have been the Molybdenum Manifest. Or some other title with an obtuse element that sounds funny to say.

  • I suppose I’m interested to know how many people put their email in, rated one episode, and gave up. Since this format does allow for that to be counted as a perfectly legitimate score, and all.

    Well, The End does have more scores than any other episode! There’s a handful of people that registered but didn’t actually submit any scores. We’ll remove those from the count of total participants, but mostly everyone seemed to rate all the episodes they wanted to rate, whether that’s the full 74 (the vast majority did this), all episodes up to a certain cut-off point, or some people who cherry picked episodes they had particularly strong opinions on. But even the episodes with the fewest number of votes (which were the latter parts of the Dave era, unsurprisingly), had hundreds more than we got for the Pearl Poll.

  • But nobody did anything obviously trolling like putting Back To Reality as a 1 and Pete (Part Two) as a 10

    I ranked stuff like Back To Reality and Thanks For The Memory as a 1 because they deserve to be first in the list, while stuff like Krytie TV and Timewave got a 10 because they deserve to be at the bottom. I don’t think that’s trolling.

  • I hope we get a total left-field worst episode, personally. My money’s on Kryten. Sure, five bucks lost if I’m wrong, but you won’t be laughing at the millions I’ll get if I’m right.

  • Pockets of love for series VIII + less voting for the latter Dave era (more discerning fans) = Timewave 74th?

    Maybe the system would favour episodes that everyone generally likes over ones that could be contested as amazing or overrated, so I’ll go for Quarantine tortoising its way to 1st.

  • Was Seb in or part of the audience of a Blockbusters (the gameshow not the video rental establishment)? Cause my brain is mentally inserting him into one, he’s not in the link probably, and the only thing a popular Internet search engine stalk is giving out is a comment in https://www.ganymede.tv/2005/06/part-twenty-three-of-the-alternative-red-dwarf/.

    Ask the Family: https://twitter.com/sebpatrick/status/1184920384258396160

    (I remembered him saying he was on a TV quiz, but I misremembered it as Family Fortunes. So I searched his Twitter for “family” and that was one of the first results.)

  • Well that all sounds like tremendous fun. 

    When I first read “clochebusters” in the tags I was imagining the Ghostbusters logo but with this guy instead of Mooglie

  • “a Live Video DwarfCast instead! That’s right, not only will you have to put up with irritating voices, you also have to see our repugnant faces too.”

    Those details don’t sound very sexy tbh.

  • Amazing to hear the responses being so high, turns out the show just had to actually die for people to express their opinions on it!

    I was only a filthy casual reader of the site back when the last poll was done and didn’t really follow along with the results so intently, as such I’m definitely looking forward to what the live ‘Cast brings to the party!

  • You say “live waffles” but do you want them in advance? It’s only taken ten years or so but I do finally have a question!

  • You can whack em in here if you like – we wouldn’t want to miss a question ten years in the making!

  • Quite a build up for a fairly crap question but too late to turn back now. I rewatched every episode and attempted to rank purely on enjoyment not nostalgia. I’ve always seen the first 36 episodes as almost untouchable but was surprised at how some series/episodes were much better than I remembered (for example series 10) and some episodes (mainly from series 1 and 2) just didn’t seem quite as I good as I once thought (I still enjoy almost every episode though). Anyone from G&T experience this or have your rankings not shifted at all over the years?

  • I had a few surprising moves in my list, such as preferring the second half of VII to the first, not hating Cassandra as much as I used to, generally enjoying X a lot less than I thought, and preferring the filler-laden BitR Part 3 to the first two parts. That said, the only real surprise from the first 36 was Out of Time only getting a 9/10 when I would have given it a 10 without the rewatch. 

  • Thanks for the Memory is now in my top 3 rather than just outside top 10. I appreciated Stasis Leak and Demons and Angels more than I ever had previously, was variably disappointed by Backwards, Legion and especially Back to Earth 2.

    I liked Epideme and even Beyond a Joke more than I would have expected, but it was so long since I watched VII, and so seldom, that I wasn’t ranking them reliably before.

  • Oh chaps, that’s fantastic!  

    Imagine if they hadn’t shown this ahead of time and then just tried to carry on with the game.

    Well quite!


    “ARTHUR: Oh, who’s that guy? Hm, oh, grey haired, did that game show, “Can I have a P please, Bob?” Uh … what’s his name?

    DOUGLAS: Your hope being that it was Brian…?
    ARTHUR: Yeah, Brian…Uh…Brian…
    MARTIN: Bob Holness, it was Bob Holness.
    ARTHUR: That’s it! Oh … Well, does he count anyway?
    DOUGLAS: Does Bob Holness count in our list of people called Brian.  What the hell, yes, he does, well done!”

    (Brians of Britain – Cabin Pressure S01E01, Abu Dhabi 1 ~1:40)

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