Complain about Series XIII

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    Bargain Bin Holly

    Here’s a joke thread I just came up with, why don’t we pretend Series XIII has just been announced and the first publicity photo showing off the crew has just been released. Pretend you’re looking at it right now and make-up complaints that you have about it.

    I feel this will raise the morale and ultimately make us happier and all-around more jolly people.



    Just received an email from Rob Naylor containing this attachment, apparently it’s the first publicity photo from the upcoming Series XIII. Not sure about the return of Bargain Steve as a regular cast member tbh


    Bargain Bin Holly

    Holly got shafted again? Norman’s not gonna be happy about this



    I don’t think the yellow tunic suits Rimmer at all.


    Ben Saunders

    Christ, Holly looks about 487 in that picture.


    Taiwan Tony

    Not sure I like the pic of Kryten dressed as Widow Twanky.
    Looks too pantomime.



    Rimmer’s H looks rubbish. I can see what they were going for but it just doesn’t work at all. And is he wearing a wig?



    I was as nervous as anyone when the “more Chinese-looking” Kryten was announced, but this actually kind of works. I think the new audience will appreciate it, at least.


    Flap Jack

    I generally don’t like to judge pre-release promo pics too harshly, but… I really don’t like that Craig, Chris and Danny all just have their natural hairstyles. Danny could have at least shaved his beard, surely? It’s clear they’re trying to make up for it by having Robert wear all 3 of the others’ hair extensions at the same time, but that’s just more conspicuous if anything.

    Also, it took me a while, but I realised what’s so off about Rimmer’s H. It’s in quotes. “H”. No idea why they’ve done that. Hopefully it’s just something to do with the story of a particular episode and not a general change.



    It’s a surprise to see Able back.



    “Crikey! Kryten has an extendable groinal socket now?”



    It’ll be quite weird to have to get used to a *third* Kochanski, but I think Patricia Routledge will do an excellent job.


    Taiwan Tony

    Just hope it isn’t too gag-heavy. And not too much drama. I hope that it’s a bit more like the first two series. And that it’s more like series V and VI.
    And that Doug doesn’t direct. And that Doug doesn’t direct.



    I’m just glad that Snacky has been bumped up to a full regular cast member.



    I know Doug wants to wrap the show up, but I’m not sure a big budget literal 6 part adaption of the Last Human novel will work.

    I think Rob Grant’s alternative final series on the BBC is better. I know crossing over with the Good Life’s final series was a weird idea, with a reborn Tom and Barbera teaching the crew how to be sustainable in RD’s artificial allotment. But it’s relaxing gentle humour and Penelope Keith is very funny as the captain of the posh ship flying back to Earth alongside.


    Bargain Bin Holly

    I know Doug wants to wrap the show up, but I’m not sure a big budget literal 6 part adaption of the Last Human novel will work.

    If this was 1997, I would unironically support this.


    Stabbim the Skutter

    The new Starbug looks terrible. The legs are too far apart, it’s the wrong shade of green, the boosters are too big, the kerning on the “STARBUG 1” logo is bad, the cockpit is too round and it looks like a model.



    The Kill Crazy spin off series is more like classic Dwarf than the main show now. KC alone on his new ship with his small band of misfits has some real pathos. The novels really get into his head too. They’re not just novelisations of the show, they are proper sci fi re-imaginings.



    It turns out the episode titles they have running across the bottom of that image are actually the titles from series XIV.



    Did anybody else notice the major typo in the first episode?

    You know, the one where they misspelled “RED DWARF” as “REED DARF” on the side of the model?


    International Debris

    Whilst obviously going for ‘character development’ can be a good thing, I’m not sure about a series-long second mid-life crisis for Kryten is necessarily a good idea. I’m going to get sick of that red costume pretty quickly.



    >I know Doug wants to wrap the show up, but I’m not sure a big budget literal 6 part adaption of the Last Human novel will work.

    This would probably have actually been quite good in terms of plot, but since the majority of Last Human’s comedy and dialogue is just copied-and-pasted scenes from IV-VI, you’d have to rewrite nearly all of it


    Paul Muller

    In hindsight, I can see why getting Kerry Shale in to re-dub all the performances was an attractive option. Doug could make last minute dialog changes right up until broadcast, without having to resort to reshoots.

    But I mean honestly, they didn’t even try to sync up the lip movements…



    Breaking down the opening credits, I think that shot of Starbug dancing must be from episode 5. It has the same background as the clip where Ziggy returns.


    Paul Muller

    I know that Apple Watch and similar wrist devices are the future, but I’m not sure filming the series in 272 x 340 resolution was a wise move.



    I’m not too sure about this “Lifter” episode. I mean, I guess they can save some money by not having to pay Craig Charles by having Lister mysteriously become an elevator for an episode, but it just seems a little forced.



    Chloe needs to wax her mustache she looks like Ian boldsworth in that photo.


    Ben Saunders

    Really worried about episode four, “Rim Her”, God knows what that will be about



    Think Doug’s cruel side is back with a vengeance. We all know Robert’s put a bit of weight on but replacing Kryten’s chest monitor with a 60″ flatscreen that says fat cunt on it is a bit far.



    So it turns out the UKTV app has leaked episode 3 (before episode 2 has even broadcast!) – and those rumours about a one-man solo Duane Dibbley episode were bang on the money.



    It’s sad not to see DJJ there anymore. Remember, he wanted to spend more time at home, so he is replaced by an animatronic cat (DNA devolved in episode one), “Sabrina the teenage witch” style, which he records lines for weeks before. However, the new Cat has some funny speeches, that monologue about his spiny penis was hilarious, and the CG effect was the icing on the cake.



    Super excited for Spunkjar – Emohawk III: Can of Worms 2, Polymorph Four. That one looks to be a real blast.



    The constant name-dropping of Todhunter makes me think Robert Bathurst is bound to show up in Episode 6.


    International Debris

    Revealing that Hollister is going to be a surprise guest star in one episode wasn’t such a surprise, given that episode 5 is called “LOL What a Fat Cunt the Captain Is”. I’m getting slight VIII vibes from that title which, given that Kill Crazy replaces Lister in several of the cast photos, and the ‘infamous’ promo shot of Kryten looking shocked and pointing at the bloody stain on Kochanski’s trouser crotch, means we could be heading back to broader humour again. I still have high hopes for episode 7, ‘The One Where They All Get Their Knobs Out (Except Kryten Who’s Actually a Woman)’, though.



    At least the promo pic of them all naked from that episode finally answers Jawscvmcdia’s question, though.



    Doug is either the stupidest man ever or the bravest, bringing the Crit cop’s wife into the show as a regular character and calling her “Droopy Ass Toddies”.



    The episode where Doug just monologues to camera for 28 minutes about how Timewave is an unappreciated piece of genius didn’t really work for me.



    Ruth Jones as Cat’s long lost cat wife is a great addition to the cast. I’m not sure Cat needs to screech the catchphrase “mm mm ah love them floppy tiddies!” every time she comes in, though.


    Ben Paddon

    Seems a bit weird that they’d confirm Series XIX during the ad break for episode 5 when we don’t even have XIV-XVIII locked in yet. How’s that gonna work?



    Really worried about the episodes now it’s clear they spent all the budget on the CG Peter Cushing. It was great of his estate to let them recreate his likeness and performance but it just seems wasteful considering he was never in Red Dwarf in the first place.



    Yeah, they were actually supposed to recreate Don Henderson.



    Daisy Ridley is doing a good job as Kochanski. The age difference between her and Lister seems a bit strange though, especially the constant references to Lister being “nearly 30” when talking about having kids to re-populate humanity. And I’m not sure every episode needs to devote a 5 minute scene of her fighting simulants with her light sword.


    International Debris

    She was meant to be Kochanski? The way she was written I thought she was Irene E come back from the dead.
    Why did she have corpse-like makeup on?


    Ben Paddon

    That’s her day-to-day makeup. They didn’t have time to redo it before the studio taping. That’s why she looks so radically different in the location and pre-taped stuff.



    i think now that was the point. “ironically”, Lister doesn’t remember who Kochanski was anymore, he just calls any woman by that name.



    Kryten’s new costume having the arse-cheeks cut out is a little distracting at first, but I can understand needing to keep Bobby cool during the shoot.


    International Debris

    Sad that it gave Doug the idea to go with a “Kryten gets bummed by his own groinal attachment” plot, though. As a quick joke it’d be pretty bad, but as the main plot, with a full five minute ‘climax’ scene… nah, too broad.


    International Debris

    Especially as it basically forces the “Lister finally gets back to Earth” bit into a brief b-plot.



    Rimmer’s line of “you’ll bonk anything, won’t you Kryten?” was a nice callback though.



    I appreciate that they finally decided to go with the original plan to make Rimmer black and white, but the fact that everything he touched also became black and white was just confusing. Did I miss a line explaining this? I was laughing so hard at Kryten’s new Mexican accent that I didn’t catch a lot of the dialogue.



    the thing that bothered me was (maybe some here can tell more)..the cameras used some creative shots and blurring to not get too explicit, but what were the studio audience seeing? The front row at least must have been hit by some fluids.



    Finally, a new alternate version of the closing theme! It’s been a while. I wonder how much Fanta Craig Charles had to drink to be able to burp the whole thing in one take.


    Shoes Have Soles

    I love it when Doug goes back to the old ideas. And we really needed the third installment of the Pete trilogy. As far as I am concerned, that’s all the loose ends tied up in Red Dwarf now.


    Phil 4Q2B

    That final scene with Captain Hollister in the shower revealling it was all a dream was too much. And brining back Holly but with the face of Jimmy Carr and voice of Alan Carr was a word is yet to be invented.



    I still think we have to admit they actually pulled off Pete Part 3. Nobody saw that coming.


    Bargain Bin Holly

    I could’ve gone without the Kryten/Snacky sex scene, tho I’m glad we finally found out what that spatula on the top of Snacky’s head was for


    Pete Part Three

    >I still think we have to admit they actually pulled off Pete Part 3. Nobody saw that coming.

    I’m glad people are realising the sacrifices I make for the show, even if the lightning was poor.


    Ben Paddon

    Did anyone else catch that lyric in “The Kryten Song (Spin My Nipple-Nuts)” alluding to a possible return of Selby, Chen, and Petersen? Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I thought that the bit that went “and Petersen is coming back / Chen and Selby, too / anyway, it’s Kryten’s song / we wrote it to pad the episode” pointed at the possibility.



    So… they left Kryten’s Mum alive and on board Red Dwarf at the end of the episode – does that mean she’s going to become a series regular?



    The decision to adapt ideas from the “Idea for an episode” thread on this very forum is a bold one, but whilst I appreciate they may have had to combine a few given the limited number of episode slots, I think the guest appearances from Albert Speer, Mr Blobby, Courteney Cox, David Cameron, Sven-Göran Eriksson, Phil “The Power” Taylor, ABBA, Roy of the Rovers, Manfred Mann, Damian Green, David Davis, Brian Cant, David Gauke, Ant McPartlin, Gary Lineker, Tim Vine, Milton Jones, Reggie Kray, Emmanual Macron, Clement Freud, Ed Balls, Ken Livingstone, Len Goodman, Barbra Streisand, David Dimbleby, Nigel Farage, Dara O’Briain, Al Gore, Feargal Sharkey, Lee Mack, the cast of The Office, Timothy Dalton, Richard Wilson, Ed Davey, Vince Cable, Nick Clegg, William Russell, Carole Ann Ford, Elton John, Carol Thatcher, Michael Gove, Owen Jones, Donald Trump, Peter Andre, Paul Weller, the Goodies, Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Jeff Cohen, Corey Feldman, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Matthew Waterhouse, Philip Hammond, Roger Hodgson, Keane, Sting, the Bangles, Gary Barlow, Nicola Sturgeon, Danny Dyer, Clive Anderson, Stephanie Cole, Warwick Davis, Caroline Lucas, Kevin Pietersen, the cast of The Simpsons, John Simm, Philip Glenister, Aisling Bea, the entire Parliamentary Labour Party, Mahmoud Abbas and the Clangers may have *very slightly* suffered from all being in the same episode.


    Flap Jack

    It was a flashback to the problems of XI-XII, really. An extra 10 minutes on the runtime and it would have been perfect.

    It’s extra annoying that the Idea For An Episode episode was just regular length, but the bottle episode where Rimmer gets trapped in a supply room with Bob the Skutter (TOWRGTIASRWBTS) got to be a 3-parter.



    I know it was the only practical option due to the cast’s busy schedules leaving no room for overlap at all, but I’m questioning whether I’ll even bother with the Cat, Kryten, H*lly and K*llcr*zy episodes considering I’ve sat through this same story twice already, with all its awkward pauses left for the others. I’ll just wait for the inevitable fan edit combining six separate people’s same episode into one.



    So did they use a bum-double for that shot of Cat shitting in the cupboard, or what?



    I know Craig was unavailable for the extra pick-up day because of some festival or other but was the best solution really to get Gary Wilmot in? It wouldn’t be quite so bad if he didn’t have the wrong hat on at the end of Backwards II: Back to Back.



    I thought Gary did his best but when the sellotape keeping his dreads on came loose and they were dangling down it was distracting. Lovely singing on the musical dialogue though.



    “It’s extra annoying that the Idea For An Episode episode was just regular length, but the bottle episode where Rimmer gets trapped in a supply room with Bob the Skutter (TOWRGTIASRWBTS) got to be a 3-parter”

    and that the whole 3 parter was just Pinter’s “the caretaker” with slightly modified dialogue.



    Shooting an entire episode in a portaloo was a bold formal experiment.



    But did it have to be a re-enactment of the sex tape story told by that audience member from the “Entangled” recording?



    I know the Dave Dwarf is very audience focused. But I wasn’t expecting a simple, no set, no writing, ad-libbing thing where Doug and the cast sit before the actors on simple chairs and ask them to yell out plot points and ideas, and get audience members up on stage to play characters they come up with there and then.

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