Did Kochanski ever find out whether the Time Wand can do boob jobs?

[bloodteller]

what if he looked under the sheets in the mirror universe and saw his own face staring back at him

[flanl3]

Dunno about you all but that would sure turn me on

[Hamish]

Since we have descended into the gutter anyway, can anyone explain to me what Rob Grant found so unappealing about a reverse blow job in the Backwards novel?

[Ben Saunders]

They’d start with a cummy mouth and spit the spunk back up your shaft, and the sensation would get duller as time went on before you just kind of stopped and went about the rest of your day

[bloodteller]

surely then sex in general would just be rather unappealing, rather than just blowjobs? the concept of starting out at peak arousal and then slowly become less and less horny before just putting your clothes on and going home doesn’t sound very good

[Ben Saunders]

That description also fits sex in this universe, sometimes

[Hamish]

It was the odd prominence placed on it that confused me, like a reverse blow job would be especially nasty. Remember the Cat does actually enjoy the backwards sex he has later on, if only because he does not know any better.

[Ben Saunders]

Taking the show as canon, that would make Cat’s first sexual experience a backwards one, in the book universe. I can imagine him being confused and disappointed by forwards sex after that.

[GlenTokyo]

Sounders would love a reverse BJ

[Ben Saunders]

Saunders would not.

[Hamish]

> Taking the show as canon, that would make Cat’s first sexual experience a backwards one, in the book universe.

Does being serviced by fictional Valkyrie warriors in Better Than Life count?

[International Debris]

I’m trying work out whether a reverse ejaculation or a reverse shit would be more uncomfortable.

[bloodteller]

surely the absolute worst would be reverse vomiting

[GlenTokyo]

I don’t think any reverse bodily function would be bad really. Maybe a spiky dump, if you’ve eaten a lot of Doritos or something otherwise, I can’t imagine it’d be any worse than the forwards version.

Reverse vomiting is just drinking very quickly, though I suppose you would be drinking sick out of a toilet so that’s not great.

[Ben Saunders]

God reverse vomiting would be horrible. And reverse skiing an enormous piss, the feeling of your bladder stretching and ugh

[bloodteller]

skiing a piss?

[flanl3]

Speaking of skiing a piss, surely every aspect of skiing, including the actual skiing bit, crashing, getting on and off the lifts, etc. would all be quite strange.

Also why the fuck would you wait in lines anymore?

[GlenTokyo]

Wiping your arse would be horrible. Fish a load of shitty bogroll out of the toilet and then smear it all over your arsehole.

[Ben Saunders]

Imagine putting a spunky used condom on.

[Dave]

Given how it started, it’s impressive that this thread has somehow managed to get even *more* weird.

[flanl3]

Getting a boob job would be pretty awkward.

[Lily]

>Given how it started, it’s impressive that this thread has somehow managed to get even *more* weird.

I wanted to ask if it was ever mentioned in the books if the Cat’s penis was barbed, like normal cats, but figured that was crossing the line.

[International Debris]

Rob Grant is always there to answer all questions that cross the line.

[bloodteller]

>I wanted to ask if it was ever mentioned in the books if the Cat’s penis was barbed, like normal cats, but figured that was crossing the line.

it was, if i recall correctly in Backwards the Cat has reverse sex with some girl but his barbed penis basically destroys her vagina or something

[Dave]

Yes, it’s quite important to the plot. Disturbingly.

[Hamish]

> Imagine putting a spunky used condom on.

About the same as taking it off really?

[Hamish]

I don’t know, maybe the reason I am less disgusted by all this is that I have been known to stick my hands up a cow’s birth canal.

[Ben Saunders]

Recreationally?

[si]

It’s a rite of passage in some cultures, I believe.

[Dave]

But imagine doing it backwards.

[International Debris]

It’d be like a cow vagina wash basin.

[Hamish]

Calfs can be born backwards. It is called a breech birth and it is very bad.

That is certainly a time you have to stick your hands in.

[bloodteller]

> I have been known to stick my hands up a cow’s birth canal.

i thought Ainsley Harriot was the one who stuck his hand up a cow

[Paul Muller]

This thread has just put me off my lunch.

[GlenTokyo]

I know someone who was born breech, came out arse first.

Shit anecdote for you there.

[flanl3]

I know someone.

[GlenTokyo]

No you don’t.

[bloodteller]

i know myself

[Hamish]

Biblically?

[By Jove its holmes]

Would a reverse blow-job suck for the woman?

[Hamish]

Does a blow job both suck and blow?

[flanl3]

Is sucking just blowing in?

[Hamish]

Sucking is blowing backwards?

[Pete Part Three]

This thread both sucks and blows.

[Nick R]

I didn’t think that was physically possible.

(Except for didgeridoo players.)

[Author]

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