Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Idea for an episode.

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  • #266399
    Dave
    Participant

    CALL TO ACTION WE’RE ON PAGE 106

    Etc.

    #266403
    cwickham
    Participant

    22

    Taylor Swift song about the page we’d have just started under the old number of posts per page.

    #266404
    Warbodog
    Participant

    STAND BY FOR CALL TO ACTION

    Crossover between Stingray and a Red Dwarf fansite theme’s automatic update. Anything can happen in the next half hour, although disappointingly nothing does.

    #266405

    ME22

    New title for Officer Rimmer to appear on some fancy new format in the future.

    #266406
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INQUISITORY OF US

    Taylor Swift song about the judgement of the Inquisitor.

    #266407
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE INQUISITION

    Due to a one-letter typo, BBC Two accidentally shows the last episode of Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons instead of the scheduled episode of Red Dwarf.

    #266408
    cwickham
    Participant

    NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITOR

    The part of The Inquisitor is inexplicably recast to Javier Bardem.

    #266409
    Warbodog
    Participant

    HE EVOLVED FROM CTAS, HIS ANCESTORS WERE CTAS, HE’S DESCENDED FROM CTAS, HE IS A CTA

    Ganymede & Titan’s embarrassing theme update blunder gets an origin story.

    #266412
    cwickham
    Participant

    CTA

    The DNA machine comes back, and turns Lister into a stylesheet error.

    #266414
    cwickham
    Participant

    NO BODYSNATCHER, NO CRIME

    Taylor Swift song featuring HAIM about the cancellation of an episode from Series 1 of Red Dwarf.

    #266422
    Jenuall
    Participant

    THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE! IT CANNOT BE!

    G&T visitor can’t believe that this many regulars appear to be massive Taylor Swift fans

    #266432
    Dave
    Participant

    WE DON’T EXIST HERE ANY MORE

    The Inquisitor judges the Call To Action box to have been unworthy of the gift of life.

    #266433
    Warbodog
    Participant

    THE CALL TO ACTION BOX IS BURIED IN THIS GRAVE

    The Wayback Machine takes a snapshot of Ganymede & Titan over the infamous weekend of 8-9 May 2021.

    #266434
    Dave
    Participant

    IT’S A DRAWBRIDGE POD

    Red Dwarf receives a pod full of fixtures and fittings to convert it into a medieval castle.

    #266435
    Dave
    Participant

    IT’S A MARR-BINGE POD

    Red Dwarf receives a pod full of every episode of the Andrew Marr show, which the crew watch endlessly, never quenching their insatiable thirst for pompous self-important Sunday-morning political interviews.

    #266436
    Dave
    Participant

    IT’S A LAMARR-WHINGE POD

    Rimmer records a podcast dissecting every moment from Shooting Stars in which they made fun of Mark Lamarr and he was grumpy about it.

    #266437
    Warbodog
    Participant

    HE’S A BIT LIKE CALL TO ACTION MAN IN THAT DEPARTMENT

    Lister makes an obscure allusion about Kryten’s impotence.

    #266438

    I WAS ABANDONED IN A CALL TO ACTION POD UNDER A WEB PAGE

    Lister reveals his parents digitised him and inserted him into the style sheet of a popular fan forum.

    #266440
    Dave
    Participant

    THANKS FOR THE CALL TO ACTION BUTTON

    G&T members passive-aggressively berate the site design even once a minor non-issue has been resolved.

    #266441

    TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS CALL TO ACTION BUTTON. WAS IT ILLUMINATED?

    Rimmer, upon reading about a rather exciting style sheet change on his favourite forum about himself, wants to know more about it.

    #266442
    Warbodog
    Participant

    DO NOTHING, PRESS NOTHING, GET KRYTEN

    Lister overreacts when Cat prepares to click a dormant website button.

    #266443
    Dave
    Participant

    CALL² ACTION

    Chaos ensues when Rimmer installs a second Call To Action button.

    #266444
    Dave
    Participant

    CALL TO REALITY

    It turns out the Call To Action button was just a collective hallucination among G&T members.

    #266445
    Dave
    Participant

    CALL TO EARTH

    The crew of Red Dwarf, upon realising that they are just characters in a TV show, log on to a fansite and are disappointed to find that its most prominent feature is a non-functional turquoise button.

    #266446
    Dave
    Participant

    OUT OF ACTION

    The “call to action” button is disappointed when it meets its future self and discovers that it still doesn’t do anything at all.

    #266447
    Dave
    Participant

    CALL & ACTION

    G&T mods go back in time by a few days to try and stop the Call To Action button from appearing, but in tinkering with the website layout they inadvertently create the button in the first place.

    #266448
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-THREE

    Lister takes Rimmer’s bronze swimming certificate (printed on an ordinary sheet of paper) and tears it into two pieces of equal size. He then stacks the two halves together and tears them in half, giving him four pieces. Then he stacks the four pieces together and tears them in half, giving him eight pieces, and so on until he’s done this 52 times. Approximately how high would the pile of paper Lister now has rise?

    #266449
    Warbodog
    Participant

    CALL ME TO ACTION

    Unable to defeat a malicious turquoise banner, G&T mods can only weaken it by depleting its blue and green components, allowing the white to remain forever.

    #266450
    Warbodog
    Participant

    YOU LAUGHED, I SPENT SIX WEEKS IN CALL-TO-ACTION

    An automatic update traps Lister in AR purgatory.

    #266451
    Dave
    Participant

    A SUPERLATIVE IDEA FOR AN EPISODE SIR, WITH ONLY TWO MINOR FLAWS

    One, we don’t have a call to action button; and two, we don’t have a call to action button. Now I realise that technically speaking that’s only one flaw but I thought that it was such a big one that it was worth mentioning twice.

    #266452

    I’VE NEVER SEEN ONE BEFORE, NO-ONE HAS, BUT I’M GUESSING IT’S A TURQUOISE BANNER

    The crew find themselves confronted by a web banner spewing a functionless button onto their forum.

    #266453

    CALL ME A BUTTON, I’LL BE BACK FOR ACTION

    Ace Rimmer gets swept up in, and tongue tied over, the Call to Action button hype!

    #266454
    Dave
    Participant

    THERE MUST BE 40 CALL-TO-ACTION BUTTONS HERE

    Rimmer is impressed by the action-catalysing options available to the Trojan’s captain.

    #266455
    Jenuall
    Participant

    ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE SIR? IT DOES MEAN CHANGING THE CALL TO ACTION BUTTON!

    When a banner begins causing issues Kryten just wants to check that everyone is aware of the effort required in resolving the problem

    #266456
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SO WHAT IS IT?

    The Cat still doesn’t really understand what was going on with the call to action button

    #266457
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SO YOU JUST STICK THE CALL TO ACTION ATTACHMENT ON THE END AND YOU CAN WHIP UP A FRENZIED INTERNET?

    Lister wants to know more about Kryten’s latest groinal attachment

    #266459
    Flap Jack
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-THREE

    Lister takes Rimmer’s bronze swimming certificate (printed on an ordinary sheet of paper) and tears it into two pieces of equal size. He then stacks the two halves together and tears them in half, giving him four pieces. Then he stacks the four pieces together and tears them in half, giving him eight pieces, and so on until he’s done this 52 times. Approximately how high would the pile of paper Lister now has rise?

    4.5 quadrillion sheets.

    Assuming of course that the laws of reality actually permit him to do this.

    #266460
    Dave
    Participant

    CALL TO ACT

    Doug Naylor struggles to direct a showboating Norman Lovett who would much rather just sit back and enjoy the endless minutes of audience applause that ensue whenever he shows up.

    #266461
    Warbodog
    Participant

    KEL TO ACTION

    The Dave era announces another high-profile yet ominous comedy alumnus.

    #266462
    cwickham
    Participant

    BACK IN THE ORANGE SODA

    Following the success of KEL TO ACTION, said comedy alumnus is made a permanent fixture and brings his former co-star with him.

    #266463
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    KALLI TO ACTION

    Ed Bye directs the first scene of Dimension Jump.

    #266464
    Dave
    Participant

    CALL TO WEIHNACHTEN

    Red Christmas is translated into German.

    #266465
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-FOUR

    Kryten has prepared his famous Mechissipi Mud Pie for dessert. Just as he has made two cuts of the pie, cutting it into four equal quarters, the Dwarfers’ future selves turn up from a parallel universe. Without missing a beat, Kryten makes just one more cut and instantly creates eight pieces of pie. Since he did not cut four stacked pieces and he certainly did not make a horizontal cut, how did he do it?

    #266466

    I’M GOING TO TAKE THE CHEFS EXAM

    Since you didn’t specify the 8 pieces need to be equal in size, he makes a circular cut around the inside of the pie somewhere, making 4 outer crust pieces and 4 inner triangle pieces.

    #266467
    cwickham
    Participant

    HOW DID YOU DO, MR DRUMMER, SIR

    Correct.

    #266469
    Warbodog
    Participant

    STYLE ME A KAPPA

    Ace Rimmer adopts a sports-casual look.

    #266470
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GIVE ME VOICE CONTROL ON THE REEBOK COMMAND

    Rimmer gets frustrated when Holly keeps swapping his trainers as a prank.

    #266471
    Warbodog
    Participant

    WHY IS IT WE NEVER MEET ANYONE NIKE?

    Lister’s athletic wear tribalism is triggered when they keep meeting Adidas-clad GELFs.

    #266472
    Warbodog
    Participant

    JUSTDOITS

    Sponsorship of Justice World sees the escort boots get an upgrade.

    #266473
    Dave
    Participant

    OURADIDAS

    Lister goes back in time and leaves a pair of trainers in a cardboard box under a pool table for his past self to find.

    #266474
    Dave
    Participant

    THEY CLEARLY HAVE HI-TECHS WAY IN ADVANCE OF OUR OWN

    Lister envies the footwear sported by the Albanian State Washing Machine Company.

    #266475
    Dave
    Participant

    WHAT THE SMEGGING SMEG’S HE SMEGGING DUNLOP

    Rimmer steals Lister’s body, and by extension his trainers.

    #266476
    Dave
    Participant

    OH NO, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BUY ME SKECHERS

    Lister upsets Kryten by giving him uncomfortable footwear.

    #266477
    Dave
    Participant

    BREAD VANS, MEAT VANS, FOOD

    A marooned Lister gets so desperate that he starts eating his trainers.

    #266478
    Jenuall
    Participant

    PARALLEL CONVERSE

    The crew meet their parallel selves who are all sporting the opposite colour footwear to them

    #266479
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SOME COUNTRY THAT’S BIG ON CURLY SHOES AND PUMAS

    Lister gets confused about the brand of footwear worn in a famous Turkish legend

    #266480
    Jenuall
    Participant

    NEW BALANCE OF POWER

    When Lister attempts to pass the chef’s exam to outrank his bunkmate Rimmer decides to distract him by turning up wearing a pair of Kochanski’s trainers

    #266481
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SIR, YOU ASICS

    Kryten momentarily forgets his disgust by noticing Lister’s new trainers.

    #266482
    Warbodog
    Participant

    IT’S RAINING, GET AN UMBRO

    Lister dreams of wet-look activewear.

    #266483
    Jenuall
    Participant

    WE DON’T ASICS HERE ANYMORE!

    After being erased from history it seems that the biggest worry on Listers mind is that he left his favourite pair of trainers behind

    #266484
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SMOKE ME A KICKER, I’LL BE BACK FOR BREAKFAST

    Ace Rimmer introduces the crew to his strange habit of enjoying smoked footwear with his breakfast

    #266485
    Warbodog
    Participant

    SOAP SUD SLAZENGER

    Slippy tennis?

    #266486
    Jenuall
    Participant

    SEE YOU IN SILICA GEL

    Rogue simulants threaten to wipe out the crew by drowning them in millions of those little packs of gel that you always find in trainer boxes

    #266487
    Dave
    Participant

    SURELY YOU’VE HEARD OF NIKE AIR JORDAN?

    Has it got anything to do with being stuck opposite Katie Price in a packed lift?

    #266488
    Dave
    Participant

    SCHUH’S HAVE SOLES

    Lister goes shopping in Red Dwarf’s only footwear franchise to see if he can get some replacement bottoms for his worn-out boots.

    #266489

    LETS HAVE A GUCCI

    When Starbug flies into a rip in space time that opens up into a high end fashion clothing and footwear store, Lister orders a pair of luxury Italian shoes.

    #266490

    TIMBERLAND TO RIDE

    Lister is distraught that all of the ships supply of Timberlands have been destroyed so hatches a plan to travel back in time to order some more.

    #266491

    STITCH THAT JIMMY CHOO

    Rimmer orders Lister to hand make a pair of shoes for him.

    #266492
    Warbodog
    Participant

    DIADORA DAVE

    Lister is caught in a compromising position with an amorous running shoe.

    #266493
    Warbodog
    Participant

    WIZADORA DAVE

    Lister learns that a benevolent witch he used to date was cheating on him with the scarecrow.

    #266494
    Jenuall
    Participant

    15,000 REEBOKS AND CLOSING!

    Lister is pleased with his haul of branded trainers from a recent discount sale

    #266495
    Jenuall
    Participant

    JUST BUY A POTION FROM WIZADORA, THAT’S WHAT I USUALLY DO!

    Cat offers Lister some advice on how to deal with he chaffing caused by wearing in his new trainers

    #266496
    Dave
    Participant

    PATRICKCOXCRACY

    Rimmer and Kryten compete in a vote on who has Red Dwarf’s nicest shoes.

    #266497
    Dave
    Participant

    LOUBOUTIN THE RED

    Lister is put on PD by Hollister and is ordered to paint red the soles of all shoes on the ship.

    #266498
    Dave
    Participant

    FILA TO RIDE

    Lister goes back in time to order a curry but inadvertently travels to Italy in 1911 and founds a footwear company instead.

    #266499
    Jenuall
    Participant

    DIMENSION JUMP

    The boys in the lab have cooked up a pair of trainers with so much spring in them they can break the speed of reality and cross dimensions

    #266500

    OUT OF TRAINERS

    The crew have an encounter with their future selves, who demand they give them their entire supply of fashionable footwear.

    #266501

    HIGH TOPS AND LOW TOPS

    Lister and Kryten accidentally create a machine that will sort their trainer collection into those that sit above the ankle and those that sit below it.

    #266502
    cwickham
    Participant

    MATHS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-FIVE

    The Dwarfers land on a planet and walk for 10 miles until they find civilisation, whereupon they discover the planet’s only city to be occupied by 50 GELFs. They immediately run back to Red Dwarf as the GELFs give chase. Six of the GELFs can run one sixth of a mile in six minutes, so Rimmer asks Kryten how many of the GELFs will it take to run 10 miles in six hours, and if the Dwarfers are likely to be caught. How should Kryten answer?

    #266503
    Dave
    Participant

    How should Kryten answer?

    “Or we could use the teleporter.”

    #266504
    Jenuall
    Participant

    “I suggest we start to run, sir. I suggest we ambulate as fast as the local gravity will allow.”

    #266505
    cwickham
    Participant

    ANSWERS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-FIVE

    Kryten should correctly answer that he doesn’t know. How many GELFs there are has no bearing on how fast they can run.

    #266506
    Jenuall
    Participant

    HOW MANY GELFS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A RED ALERT BULB?

    As Rimmer’s propensity to step up the alert levels reaches an unmanageable point Kryten looks into outsourcing one of his most laborious tasks

    #266507
    Dave
    Participant

    ANSWERS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-FIVE

    Kryten should correctly answer that he doesn’t know. How many GELFs there are has no bearing on how fast they can run.

    Like Kryten would ever pass up the chance to make a Best Guess.

    #266508
    Jenuall
    Participant

    ANSWERS IN THE RED PART EIGHTY-FIVE

    Kryten should correctly answer that he doesn’t know. How many GELFs there are has no bearing on how fast they can run.
    Like Kryten would ever pass up the chance to make a Best Guess.

    “The research into ‘how many of the GELFs will it take to run 10 miles in six hours’ was in the early stages when I first left the solar system…”

    #266509
    cwickham
    Participant

    I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED HERE ANY MORE

    Taylor Swift song about being erased from history by the Inquisitor.

    #266510
    Jenuall
    Participant

    WE ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TO EARTH

    Taylor Swift song confirming the reality that the crew are never (ever ever) going to complete their journey home

    #266511

    SHAKE AND VAC IT OFF

    Taylor Swift and Norman Lovett appear in a new Red Dwarf tie in commercial for carpet cleaner.

    #266512
    Dave
    Participant

    SOMEBODY, PLEASE: GET ME A TAYLOR

    Cat asks to be introduced to Taylor Swift in order to facilitate a pun that has almost certainly appeared in this thread at least once before.

    #266513

    RED CHRISTMAS MUST BE SOMETHING MORE

    Taylor Swift watched Red Dwarf’s attempt at an animated episode and pens a song about how it is lacking in basically everything.

    #266514
    Warbodog
    Participant

    GRANT TAYLOR

    Rob Grant squats in the bushes and Taylor Swift flies up his buttski to form a new gestalt entity.

    #266515

    OUT OF TAYLOR

    G&T users travel back in time to gather up previously used Taylor Swift puns from their past selves, but killed in the process.

    #266516
    Warbodog
    Participant

    IN THE OMNIZONE

    Rimmer gets extraordinary satisfaction from curating a shelf-efficient bookcase of omnibuses and anthologies with minimal overlap of content (apart from somehow winding up with three versions of The Turn of the Screw).

    #266517
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    BLACK SPACE

    Taylor Swift explains why it’s so difficult to spot Black Holes.

    #266518
    Dave
    Participant

    TAYLOR TO RIDE

    Lister uses the AR machine to sleep with a virtual recreation of Taylor Swift.

    #266519
    Dave
    Participant

    PARALLEL TAYLORVERSE

    The boys from the Dwarf visit a universe where the G&T Idea For An Episode thread isn’t regularly filled with Taylor Swift puns.

    #266520
    Dave
    Participant

    THE MEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf that shows Rimmer successfully fixing the drive plate, thus ruining the premise of the show.

    #266521
    Dave
    Participant

    THE FRIEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf that shows Lister and Rimmer being mates, thus ruining the premise of the show.

    #266522
    Dave
    Participant

    THE SEND

    Alternative pilot episode for Red Dwarf that shows Hollister being warned about the accident by a time-travelling email sent by future-Lister, thus ruining the premise of the show.

    #266523
    Dave
    Participant

    SERIES VIII

    Actual series of Red Dwarf that resurrects the entire crew, thus ruining the premise of the show.

Viewing 100 posts - 10,501 through 10,600 (of 11,356 total)
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