Idea for an episode.

[Dave]

WOULD ANYONE LIKE ANY TOS?

Talkie Toaster is resurrected to carry out a survey to see if anyone wants the official Red Dwarf website to keep providing updates.

[Dave]

THEY FUCKED MY TOS WE’RE ON PAGE 256

The latest page of the Idea For An Episode thread largely revolves around the latest update to the official Red Dwarf website.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

THE END

Smeg.  It is :(

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

FUTURE ECHOS

Fans on a forum for their favourite TV show see the future when the official website for the show is brought back online only to announce it will no longer be updated.

[cwickham]

MATHS IN THE RED PART ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY

?

[cwickham]

QUEENATINE

[Actual idea in too poor taste to post.]

[Formica]

QUEEN: PART II

When Kryten needs a spare part, he looks to buy from a third-party manufacturer for the first time in over 300 years. His sanity chip overloads and his head explodes when he learns that his new penis, Archie, may be a slightly different color to the rest of his body. Will it be in poor taste to make fun of him?

[Pete Part Three]

TWENTY? BAH!

G&T turns twenty and succeeds in making everyone else feel fucking ancient. 

[Dave]

TWUNTY CAR

Rimmer buys an Audi.

[si]

CUNTICA
Because G&T.

(unless someone’s already done that at some point. This thread is pretty long.)

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

CUNTICA
Because G&T.
(unless someone’s already done that at some point. This thread is pretty long.)

You should probably read through everything before posting just to make sure you’re not repeating anything 

[si]

APATHETICA

CUNTICA
Because G&T.
(unless someone’s already done that at some point. This thread is pretty long.)

You should probably read through everything before posting just to make sure you’re not repeating anything

Whatever.

[Rudolph]

BUNTICA

The lads put up some bunting to celebrate twenty years of G&T.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

FELIXOCRACY

The Red Dwarf community put the notion of officially renaming Cat to Felix Sapiens to the vote.

[cwickham]

BORROWERWARDS

Kryten and Rimmer travel to a parallel universe where tiny people secretly live in the floorboards and “borrow” from normal-sized people. It later turns out this episode was only produced because Doug purchased the rights to Howard Goodall’s musical score for the 1990s Borrowers TV series and wanted to use it.

[cwickham]

SNOW ON THE BEACH

Taylor Swift song about the location filming for Better Than Life.

[cwickham]

KARMA

Taylor Swift song about Justice and Samsara.

[cwickham]

INNARDS AND LAVENDER HAZE

Taylor Swift song about the Cat’s fashion styles.

[cwickham]

ANTI-HERO WORLD

Taylor Swift song about a war on a planet populated with waxwork replicas of history’s greatest figures.

[cwickham]

MR. ARNOLD IS MY MASTERMIND NOW

Taylor Swift song about subjugating a mechanoid.

[cwickham]

SWEET, SWEET NOTHING LISTEN PLEASE

Taylor Swift cover of Tongue Tied.

[cwickham]

QUESTION…? FOUR

Taylor Swift song about what the red spectrum tells us about quasars.

[cwickham]

ON YOUR OWN, KID, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

Taylor Swift song about a hologram being left switched on whilst everyone else goes into stasis.

[cwickham]

IT WASN’T IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RYDER CUP OR ANYTHING, IT WAS MIDNIGHT RAIN

Taylor Swift song about Lister losing his virginity.

[Ben Saunders]

BARRIEOGENESIS

Rimmer once again attempts to clone himself. However, he accidentally clones Chris Barrie.

[cwickham]

KRYTIE FREEVEE

Kryten’s campaign to save Androids from cancellation is a success.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

BACK TO OZ

After an encounter with a Bonza Shrimp, the cast wake up in a quiet Australian Neighbourhood, believing they are characters in a recently revived soap opera. 

[Jenuall]

WAITING FOR TODD

Lister makes his way deep into the depths of the ship looking for the Cat but instead finds early 90s neighbours character Todd Landers

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Prawn Vindaloo to Ride

Lister and the crew travel back in time to Australia in search of a Prawn Vindaloo and end up convincing Karl Kennedy to kill himself. 

[Dave]

KYLIE TV

Lost episode from Series VIII in which Kryten starts stalking an Australian soap star and surreptitiously filming her for the amusement of male prisoners.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

TIKKA TO ROOOOOOYYYYYYYYY

Oh you get the idea.

[clem]

BOUNCER

Lucy Robinson’s dog travels the multiverse. 

[clem]

DEMONS & MANGELS

Turns out Nell was the low version all along, surprising no one.

[clem]

MADGE

Bob the skutter’s missus stars in her own spin-off show that has nothing to do with Neighbours. 

[Unrumble]

KRISTINE

Kochanski returns, having had her DNA spliced with a Polymorph, and murderously stalks the crew in the form of a car 

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

KRISTINE
Kochanski returns, having had her DNA spliced with a Polymorph, and murderously stalks the crew in the form of a car 

Can we make that a thing? Please? I want that to be a thing.

[Dave]

KRISTINE GDANSKI

Kochanski moves to Poland.

[Dave]

KRISTINE POLANSKI

The Kochanski from the Out Of Time future marries a famous 20th century film director who is “a bit dodgy”.

[Dave]

KRISTINE ADAMSKI

Kochanski achieves a No.1 hit in collaboration with Seal.

[cwickham]

LISTERINE KOCHANSKI

Kochanski endorses a mouthwash.

[Dave]

LISTERINE

Lister endorses a mouthwash.

[cwickham]

LISTER IN KOCHANSKI

Unproduced VIII episode where Lister uses the sexual magnetism virus on Kochanski, which miraculously even the Doug Naylor of 1999 realised might be beyond the pale and had locked in a safe.

[Dave]

KRISTINE A BANKSY

Red Dwarf solves an eternal mystery of the art world by revealing that a time-travelling Kochanski was the one responsible for going round crudely spraypainting stencilled images with wry sixth-form-level political messages on exterior walls in the early 21st century.

[cwickham]

KRISTINE WANKSKI

Kochanski becomes sexually attracted to snow sports equipment.

[cwickham]

KRISTINE AARONBANKSKI

Kochanski comes up with an elaborate plot to short the value of pound sterling.

[cwickham]

KRISTINE DAVIDBANKSKI

Chloe Annett is cast as the new Cyber Leader in Doctor Who.

[cwickham]

KRISTINE RANKSKI

Kochanski smells unpleasant.

[cwickham]

KRISTINE THANKSKI

Kochanski is grateful.

[cwickham]

KRISTINE ALLEN-KEY

Kochanski tightens some bolts.

[cwickham]

KRISTINE ALLON-SY

Kochanski steals another fictional time traveller’s catchphrase.

[Author]

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