Jokes you don't/didn't get

[bloodteller]

i know there’s the thing of “the joke isn’t funny if you explain it” but were there ever gags in Red Dwarf you didn’t get? and if so, what?

i never quite got what Cat’s “stan and ollie” line in White Hole was about, for example. nor did i get what “see you in ten minutes?” (repeat x10) from Pete was all about, and also Rimmer’s “steers and queers, which are you boy?” joke from Meltdown

Topic

[Formica]

The walk light is on. I’m allowed to be there.

[clem]

TIL the Topic bar used to be advertised with the slogan “A hazelnut in every bite”, clearly the basis for Rimmer’s line in Stasis Leak. Of course it’s always worked perfectly well without that knowledge, just has an extra little slant now. 

[Warbodog]

I don’t remember ever seeing a Topic bar or being aware of them outside of Red Dwarf. Apparently only discontinued in 2021, but could have been the 70s for all I knew, a strange confectionery blind spot.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

I don’t remember ever seeing a Topic bar or being aware of them outside of Red Dwarf. Apparently only discontinued in 2021, but could have been the 70s for all I knew, a strange confectionery blind spot.

Didn’t Topics used to be in either Celebrations of Minature Hero’s at one point?

[clem]

Didn’t Topics used to be in either Celebrations of Minature Hero’s at one point?

Celebrations. I think they were removed at the same time as Twix but Twix has since returned.

[Ben Saunders]

Mentioned it before but having never heard of the original Tales of the Riverbank, this entire sequence is nonsense to me. Anyone care to explain what a hamstergram is supposed to be? 

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

It’s a play on kissogram I think

[Warbodog]

This hamster is being used as a sort of prostitute.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Thanks, Warbo, that’s exactly the mental image I want associated with a beloved childhood television series.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Thanks, Warbo, that’s exactly the mental image I want associated with a beloved childhood television series.

You comfortable with the idea of Lister and Car going at it with Betty and Wilma?

[Technopeasant]

You comfortable with the idea of Lister and Car going at it with Betty and Wilma?

I was going to photoshop something, but I think the mental image works better….

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

You comfortable with the idea of Lister and Car going at it with Betty and Wilma?

I never watched that show so I don’t care.

[Flap Jack]

But did you watch any of the Winnie the Pooh cartoons?

[Warbodog]

[Warbodog]

I always figured “brown trousers time” referred to the time when your trousers would be turned brown with shit, but now I’m thinking it means it’s time to change into brown trousers so that when you do imminently shit them, it’ll be less immediately obvious than it would with another colour, helping you to save face.

[Ian Symes]

Also, can you even get Day-Glo brown?

[Dave]

I thought of that joke from Holly when I saw this in Deadpool.

[Dave]

But yeah, at the risk of turning this into a Cinzano Marrone situation, I think the joke is just “shitting yourself”.

[Ben Saunders]

Brown trousers, shirt tails, and one triple-thick condom. You never know.

[International Debris]

Given that they also wrote “my trousers they go brown, girl,” my guess is the joke isn’t a preemptive change of clothes.

[Flap Jack]

It’s nothing to do with shit, you’re all just being childish. Brown clothing is inherently calming to wear, so when people get scared they go and change into brown trousers, and if possible have a nice cup of tea.

The line in Tongue Tied is unrelated though, and often misheard. It’s “My trousers they go, brown girl”. It’s about flashing.

[Warbodog]

[Dave]

On a related subject, I always misheard this:

As “your extra-brown Rimmer safety pants”.

[pi r squared]

Oh. So did I!

I think our version is actually funnier…

[Unrumble]

Oh. So did I!

I think our version is actually funnier…

[Technopeasant]

[clem]

Why are two of the simulants in The Beginning called Chancellor Wednesday and Chancellor Thursday?

[Ian Symes]

Because they’re chancellors. 

[Warbodog]

Someone’s been looking up how many episodes mention specific days of the week.

[clem]

Someone’s been looking up how many episodes mention specific days of the week.

The peculiar thing is they’re not referred to by name in the episode, only the credits, so I’m thinking it might be an in-joke.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

[Ben Saunders]

Chancellor Wednesday is a delightfully silly name, and Chancellor Thursday follows on from that I guess.

[Flap Jack]

Chancellor Thursday, what a concept!

[Technopeasant]

[loadoftottnumb]

What exactly does ‘Dinosaur breath’ mean? 

Breath like a dinosaur would have had? Smells like you’ve eaten a dinosaur? 

[Flap Jack]

Surely the former. Why would eating a dinosaur give you worse breath than just eating meat in general would?

[loadoftottnumb]

Well why would a dinosaur doing so do so? 

[Flap Jack]

Because dinosaurs eat their meat raw and don’t brush their teeth. They’re biologically unequipped to wield the brush and paste tube.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

[International Debris]

Because dinosaurs eat their meat raw and don’t brush their teeth. They’re biologically unequipped to wield the brush and paste tube.

Not sure many of the herbivorous dinosaurs ate their meat raw, or indeed cooked.

I do kind of understand the question: why dinosaur and not, say, crocodile or leopard? The answer being it sounds funnier.

[Technopeasant]

As for herbivore, have you ever smelt a cow burp?

[Technopeasant]

Because dinosaurs eat their meat raw and don’t brush their teeth.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

They can’t reach the toothpaste with them little arms.

[Ben Saunders]

[Technopeasant]

Straw poll here, when Duane Dibbley says he needs a triple thick condom, is he saying it is because he wants to be extra careful for it to not tear or is it because he has a small willy?

Before you answer, bear in mind that his penis is still presumably barbed…

[GlenTokyo]

I could see the thickness being because he plans on being a particularly exuberant lover, sort of the safe sex version of the black and decker gag, because he’s still The Cat in there somewhere even if he’s a dork now, or the low self confidence tiny nob gag, but I think it’s just continuing the ridiculously overprepared gag from his list of items personally (and it just sounds funny, in a “two pound black ribbed nobbler” way)

[clem]

Always thought he was just exercising stereotypical nerdy caution.

[Technopeasant]

[Dave]

Before you answer, bear in mind that his penis is still presumably barbed…

This is an interesting question. Duane Dibbley is a human in the hallucinatory world of Back To Reality, but when Cat turns into him in Emohawk, he’s not Duane physically, just mentally – he’s still in the Cat’s body.

So where do those teeth come from?

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

[Author]

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