Jokes you don't/didn't get

[Pete Part Three]

What’s the general consensus on Series VIII?

[bloodteller]

i think we’ve experienced this period of time before, sirs.

[Warbodog]

“Squeeze your roll” isn’t a euphemism for wanking where I grew up (Earth), so I assumed the latter.

I just mentally went through all the episode titles to see if there were any obvious puns I’ve never noticed, and realised ‘Epideme’ probably refers to ‘epidemic,’ not some completely random exotic future name.

[Piplup2003]

>What’s the general consensus on Series VIII?

Despite what everyone else says about it, VIII is probably my second favourite series, after V.

[bloodteller]

wasn’t that the general consensus on the series back when it first came out? there was a poll and i think VIII came second, just below V.

[bloodteller]

>“Squeeze your roll” isn’t a euphemism for wanking where I grew up (Earth), so I assumed the latter.

yeah, but if you were a bloke and a woman you liked came up to you and said “can i squeeze your roll?” you’d think ‘oh brilliant, she’s going to wank me off”, right? you wouldn’t think she actually wants to grasp your wheaty breakfast product.

[Ben Saunders]

Sounds more like giving somebody a massage, to me

[bloodteller]

either way if someone says that to you, you’re probably in for something rather nice

[bloodteller]

if you like massages and/or being wanked off, that is.

[clem]

The rest of Cat’s line after “squeeze their rolls?” isn’t really needed for the joke to work, but I think it works as Cat digging himself a hole, annoying Baxter even more without realising it. Only example I can think of where the VIII thing of over-explaining the gag kind of adds to it.

Maybe if he’d said buns instead of rolls there could have been an extra joke where Baxter thinks Cat is saying he’s gonna squeeze their bum cheeks.

[Pete Part Three]

It’s a very long time since I saw this, but surely the “joke” is that destroying the roll is symbolising torturing somone, and The Cat takes it *at face value* and thinks destroying a snack is just a very peculiar way of punishing someone.

If you start adding extra euphemisms, it kind of ruins it. Surprising they didn’t, actually,

[bloodteller]

oh yeah, that makes much more sense.

[bloodteller]

“are you 21 or under?”

“well my haircut is, does that count?”

eh?

[Bargain Bin Holly]

I think that means his haircut is better suited for a 21 year old than a middle aged guy

[Ben Saunders]

“I’ve given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass”
What world?

[Ben Saunders]

Now i think about it where the fuck are they when the Inquisitor inquisits them?

[Bargain Bin Holly]

>What world?

Cat thinks the world of himself, therefor, he’s given pleasure to himself with his great ass

[Dave]

Now i think about it where the fuck are they when the Inquisitor inquisits them?

I always assumed it was some secret Inquisitor-palace in the far future or outside of regular spacetime entirely, equipped with tech to allow him to channel versions of the characters to judge themselves. It’s a bit metaphysical, I know.

[Ben Saunders]

>He’s given pleasure to himself with his great ass
TMI.

[Ian Symes]

“are you 21 or under?”

“well my haircut is, does that count?”

eh?

I thought it meant that he got his haircut less than 21 years ago, but that seems less likely to be the intended meaning the more I think about it.

[bloodteller]

maybe his haircut is under 21 inches long?

[Ben Saunders]

Maybe it’s a new style, or so he thinks?

[Lily]

I presumed it was because hair is always growing, his hair is younger than 21.

[Flap Jack]

When Cat says “I’ve given pleasure to the world” he’s using the classical definition of world, “all of known existence”, rather than the modern definition, “planet”.

[Ben Saunders]

Thank you, i can sleep easy now

[Plastic Percy]

I took the haircut line is that, if nothing else, his hairstyle is young, fresh and happening.

[bloodteller]

why in Lemons do they refer to penises as “stuffin’ snuffin’ shiderhausers” (?)

is there some sort of joke there or are you just not allowed to say cock on Dave

[NoFro]

I think Lister is saying “Stuffin’ stuff up his schneiberhauser” or schneiderhauser or something. Schneiberhauser obviously being a hilarious euphemism for penis. Obviously.

[Pete Part Three]

When Kryten mutters “Cunt” under his breath in Duct Soup, is he talking about Lister or Kochanski?

[bloodteller]

LISTER: Our nomination for JMC Crew Of The Year Award is starting to look unlikely…

RIMMER: Those damn space monkey from the Omega 4 are gonna get it again!!

eh? so…3 million years into deep space, the JMC still hosts award ceremonies? what are space monkeys? what the hell are they talking about?

[Pete Part Three]

I googled deeley boppers after watching Ouroborus the other day. Never been bothered before. The episode is 17 times more amusing to me now.

[Taiwan Tony]

Nice reference to deeley boppers in Blue Heaven. Eddie Nichols and his novelty cash-in single for the victims of famine “Don’t send food, send…”
I loved Blue Heaven.

[Dave]

Blue Heaven was great. I loved the ‘DIED’ anagram gag.

[clem]

> I loved the ‘DIED’ anagram gag.

Refresh my memory please. I liked it but other than the night club where all the waiters are Frank Carson impersonators I don’t remember much of Blue Heaven. Shane, Frank Skinner’s other sitcom, is really good too. The ‘Do my share/Cher’ joke in that is one of my favourite jokes ever.

[si]

Blue Heaven’s on All 4.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/blue-heaven

Actually, Captain Butler’s on there, too. I won’t provide a link, I respect you too much.

[clem]

And the episode of Bunch of Fives that served as the pilot for Blue Heaven is here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1u4DK1DxMU

[bloodteller]

Vic and Bob’s “The Weekenders” was on Bunch Of Fives too, wasn’t it? That was a really funny show, I’ll never get why they didn’t pick it up for a full series.

[clem]

That’s right. Vic and Bob were told they could make a series of The Weekenders as long as they also made another series of Big Night Out, but they didn’t want to do more Big Night Out. Apparently that’s at least partly why they moved to the BBC.

[bloodteller]

back on the topic of Jokes You Didn’t Get, i was watching Confidence and Paranoia the other day and this particular exchange stuck out to me-

LISTER: I feel really ill…
RIMMER: You ARE really ill.
LISTER: No, I mean really ill…

what is Rimmer on about?

[Taiwan Tony]

The DIED joke was stagehands carrying Eddie’s name in huge letters. They walked in the order D I E D. And Frank asked “Has he not been well?”
Full of jokes. Shane is full of jokes, too. But the show was very ITV.

[Dave]

That’s the one. A silly joke but the setup and delivery of it always made me chuckle.

[Unrumble]

>back on the topic of Jokes You Didn’t Get, i was watching Confidence and Paranoia the other day and this particular exchange stuck out to me-

LISTER: I feel really ill…
RIMMER: You ARE really ill.
LISTER: No, I mean really ill…

what is Rimmer on about?

I always took this to be Rimmer offhandedly having a jab at Lister’s generally unhealthy lifestyle. A foreshadowing of the comments he makes in Bodyswap, say.

[International Debris]

I always heard it as meaning mentally ill, as series 1 Rimmer’s general perspective of Lister being a complete imbecile.

[Warbodog]

Is ‘Back in the Red’ supposed to be a (thematically irrelevant) riff on being ‘in the red’ with debt? A pun on ‘back from the dead’ (as per the DVD documentary) that’s not close enough to work? Or just a cool way of saying ‘we’re back on Red Dwarf’ with nothing more to it?

[Dave]

I thought it was a pun on the debt-related phrase, but without any deeper meaning to it.

[Taiwan Tony]

And the horror that that entails.

[Hamish]

Makes more sense than Twentica.

[bloodteller]

I always thought Back In The Red was just a cool and interesting way of saying “we’re back on Red Dwarf”. It never even occurred to me that it might have been a joke title based around the debt-related phrase. That’s ruined it a little tbh, debt isn’t nearly as cool as spaceships

[Ben Saunders]

They’re literally back in (the) Red (Dwarf), which is also a term to do with debt.
I didn’t make the connection of a pun title until some advert in like 2008 talked about being in the red.

[Dave]

This came out a year before series VIII, so the Red Dwarf title just made me think of that.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Red_(TV_series)

[Toxteth O-Grady]

>Makes more sense than Twentica.

I was at one of the pre-screenings of that episode, which was followed by a very brief Q&A. My question was going to be “why the f*** was it called Twentica?”.

I’ve since read that it’s supposed to be a portmanteau of Twenties America, or something. It’s still pretty baffling even with that explanation. Especially as it’s never mentioned in the episode itself.

Sadly, I never got picked. The person who did get picked asked the much more pertinent and interesting question of “What’s your favorite episode of Red Dwarf?”.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Sadly, I never got picked. The person who did get picked asked the much more pertinent and interesting question of “What’s your favorite episode of Red Dwarf?”.

Don’t leave us hanging, what was the answer?

[Toxteth O-Grady]

I think Robert Llewellyn mentioned ‘Lemons’ and I immediately tuned out.

[flanl3]

Uh oh, not a man with taste, not around here

[Dave]

The “couple of blanks” arse-cheek gag from The End. I didn’t even realise there was a gag there until I listened to the commentary.

[ori-STUDFARM]

There’s a lot of early references went over my head…Moss Bros and Teasy-Weasy is one that instantly springs to mind. Reading through the above, a few of those too.

[Ridley]

>I thought it was a pun on the debt-related phrase, but without any deeper meaning to it.

Well, it’s back on Red Dwarf and the episodes are bookended with the Dwarfers having to pay a debt to society.

[tombow]

I was always confused by Cat boasting about his thrusts being as fast as a drill or jird, because aren’t good lovers stereotypically slow and measured?

[Hamish]

And would Cat really make a good lover tombow?

[tombow]

No, but he seems to think he would based on speed. I guess…I was a confused kid when I saw it, so I kind of wondered if men were meant to be fast lovers, as I’d heard people on other sitcoms joking about men being too fast.

[Pete Part Three]

Cat is referring to the motion in the ocean, not the speed at which the ocean is traversed.

[Ben Saunders]

Cat has a high PPS (pumps per second)

[Lily]

>aren’t good lovers stereotypically slow and measured?

That’s all good and well, but sometimes you just want a good Black&Decker’ing.

[Unrumble]

Obvious ones like not getting references when I was younger, especially in the earlier series “the poor goit you made look like Helen Shapiro!.”

I think it was a while before I understood the implication of “Maybe Ace-hole” too…

[Taiwan Tony]

>That’s all good and well, but sometimes you just want a good Black&Decker’ing.

Easily the sexiest thing I’ve read today.

[Plastic Percy]

I’ve only just bothered to learn that a Jird, more accurately named a Persian Jird, is in fact a real animal.

[R.C.M.]

From Backwards: “It’s exactly like I always imagined, only much shorter.”

Maybe I’m mis-remembering things, but wasn’t there a deleted line/scene that explains why Kryten says this?

[Ben Saunders]

I assume the joke is he read up on Earth in books and, from the pictures, assumed that trees were absolutely enormous, so he looks at the extremely tall trees and remarks that they seem rather short.

If there was a deleted scene to explain that joke and I’ve gotten it wrong I’d love to know.

[NoFro]

I think “…only much shorter” is just a funny nonsensical line which I’ve always loved. Earth could be bigger or smaller than Kryten imagined but it doesn’t make sense to comment on the Earth as being “tall” or “short”, especially when Kryten’s on the surface and can’t even see the whole thing. I think the look on Rimmer’s face is evidence that it’s supposed to be nonsensical.

[Lily]

I always thought it was a play on the thing where people say that actors look shorter in real life than they do on tv/film.

[NoFro]

Yes, that too!

[Dave]

If that was the joke then I never got it.

[Ben Saunders]

When the question was first asked I thought “only much shorter” wasn’t a particularly good joke, ie it was alright, but now I’m amazed that it works on all three levels and am convinced it’s genius

[bloodteller]

In response to the discussion from a while ago, I re-read IWCD the other day, and it’s mentioned in a later chapter that “George McIntrye was force-fed his own nose”, so they definitely did cut it off. How gruesome

[Warbodog]

“How come you need more memory? Over the years, you’ve had more RAM than a field of sheep.”

‘Had’ as in sex. Not: he’s got more RAM than the number of rams you get in a standard field of sheep.

Which, being the son of a farmer, I knew was often just the one, on its own rather than mixed with the ewes, and thus a bit of an underwhelming comparison to make for Kryten’s supposedly impressive memory capacity, whatever units they’re using. It confused me slightly when watching the Xtended video repeatedly at 12.

[Dave]

I guess if Rimmer doesn’t know the intimate details of sheep farming then it still works as something he’d say.

[Dave]

(Or Cat or Lister, or whoever the fuck says it.)

[Warbodog]

Also only recently realised that fan favourite character Dr Lucas McLaren is asking “your chair is screwed down?” because he’s worried Kryten’s going to attack him with the chair, not some oblique way of suggesting he’s got a screw loose.

I haven’t watched VII or VIII much since I was about 14, so some of these youthful misconceptions go unchecked for decades.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Also only recently realised that fan favourite character Dr Lucas McLaren is asking “your chair is screwed down?” because he’s worried Kryten’s going to attack him with the chair, not some oblique way of suggesting he’s got a screw loose.

So THAT’S what that’s about. I’d always assumed it was the latter explaination.

[Paul Muller]

“Personally I prefer partnership Whist” – I understand the point of it, but it’s such an obscure activity to reference. They could have gone with backgammon or tiddlywinks, or elected for an obvious wanking gag and chosen Solitaire.

I guess it’s because I watched most of Red Dwarf as a ten year old, so jokes based around 18th century card games were always going to fly over my head. For a long time, I thought it was some kind of dance.

[Warbodog]

“If she ever ran into Tutankhamen, he wouldn’t stand a chance. She’d have his bandages off before you could say ‘silicone implants.'”

Didn’t get the breast implant reference at the time. I suppose: as well as the obvious joke about a 3,000-year-old man being more attractive by her definition than an 83-year-old, a king’s considerable wealth also makes him more attractive to a presumed gold digger than an actor, and the first thing she’d spend it on is cosmetic surgery, because that’s what a materialistic floozy would do.

Or maybe Lister just saw her photo and she had big breasts.

[bloodteller]

>“Personally I prefer partnership Whist”

up until now i thought he was saying “personally i prefer partnership waist” and it was some sort of health program like weightwatchers

[clem]

“Can someone take him outside and do something to him? Ideally involving ice cubes and any puckered body cavity.”

And the callback line about the wooden mallet only confuses me further. Anyone?

[By Jove its holmes]

put an ice cube in his mouth then hit it with a mallet?

[Warbodog]

My mind always goes to the mouth with these things, but consensus opinion on where Rimmer tried to insert the fridge and guitar lead me to conclude arse. Weird lines anyway.

[Ben Saunders]

Shove an ice cube up his arse? That’s a bit bizarre

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Rimmer isn’t exactly normal is he.

[GlenTokyo]

Knowing Doug’s writing, maybe it’s a reference to a film he saw at the time.

Don’t know what films would involve someone having ice cubes shoved up their arse and/or getting hit with a mallet but the 90s had some odd ones and Doug has eclectic taste I’m sure.

Sounds a sexual to be honest, the ice cubes bit. All a bit weird haha

[MANI506]

Why does Cat call Rimmer Cinninatti at the start of Cured?

[Ben Saunders]

Isn’t it something to do with rimming?

[bloodteller]

yeah, a Cinncinatti Truffle is where you fart in someone’s mouth during rimming. it”s a (surprisingly subtle) joke about Rimmer’s name/rimming. also i think the only joke about rimming in the entire show

[Dave]

There’s also “brown-tongued his way up the ranks” in Dimension Jump.

[cwickham]

Cinncinatti is also a poker term, I believe.

[bloodteller]

>Cinncinatti is also a poker term, I believe.

yeah it is, but they’re evidently not playing cinncinatti poker (i haven’t watched Cured in ages, but they’re just playing regular 5-card poker iirc) so i think the intent is that it’s a rimming joke? even if that wasn’t the intent, surely it’s funnier if cat is making a snide remark about farting in someone’s mouth than him just inexplicably giving rimmer a poker-based nickname that’s totally unrelated to the variation of poker they’re actually playing

[cwickham]

Okay, but what’s more likely: It’s a reference to “Cincinnati Truffles” which doesn’t actually give the viewer enough information to work out that’s what it’s a reference to, or it’s a reference to a type of poker?

[GlenTokyo]

It’s almost certainly a poker reference.

It’s cards banter innit.

[bloodteller]

>Okay, but what’s more likely: It’s a reference to “Cincinnati Truffles” which doesn’t actually give the viewer enough information to work out that’s what it’s a reference to, or it’s a reference to a type of poker?

the first one

[Dave]

Doug has form for this: the “female aardvark” is a well-known sexual position and “trout a la creme” is disgusting slang for a popular fetish.

[International Debris]

I honestly find the idea of Doug knowing what “Cincinnati truffles” means incredibly unlikely.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Maybe Doug is into that kind of thing. Or late one night, he found himself going down a dark rabbit hole on Urban Dictionary.

Or, just perhaps, the name cincinnati truffle has been co-opted by the fetish community and Doug is much more familiar with the origins of the name in the card game.

[Author]

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