Misheard lines

[bloodteller]

not strictly a misheard line, but since my first series of red dwarf was series V i always assumed lister was bald since he wears that hat for most of the season and craig charles’ hair is really fucking weird in it too. this led to a lot of bizarre childhood drawings in which lister resembled karl pilkington more than craig charles.

[Warbodog]

Misunderstood/uninformed lines: As a kid, I thought Cat saying “if I was dead, you most certainly could not swing me around in here” was a hilariously R@nd0M line, until my (younger) brother informed me that it was a well-known expression. It was nowhere near as funny in context.

[Ben Saunders]

“Brylcreem it’s called” was funny to me in 2001 because my brother had a tub of Brylcreem on his desk at the time. But that was the last time I ever saw a tub of the stuff so I wonder how many people watching for the first time today will get the joke.

[Dave]

When Rimmer in Polymorph notes the abbreviation of the ‘Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society’, I always thought he said SPITONAWRIST.

[Seb Patrick]

Isn’t there a bit of history with the subtitles being, well just completely wrong? G&T commentaries go on about it a lot

Oh, shut up, Patrick.

[Moonlight]

“Brylcreem it’s called” was funny to me in 2001 because my brother had a tub of Brylcreem on his desk at the time. But that was the last time I ever saw a tub of the stuff so I wonder how many people watching for the first time today will get the joke.

The real question is why they choose to follow up the line by explaining the joke for the audience, in case they didn’t get it.

[NoFro]

The brylcreem joke is actually great, as predictable as the punchline is. The explanation does completely kill it though.

[bloodteller]

there was a similar line in Pete where they explain about the Little Chef Waitress joke and it just sucks the humour right out of it

[Pete Part Three]

Oh here’s one.

“This is worse than playing away at Leeds!” in Stoke Me A Clipper. For at least the first watches, I heard it as “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to lead”.

Whatever that means.

[bloodteller]

the first time i watched Demons and Angels i thought Cat said “hey guys, they’re gonna be playing our tunes at the Wilbur Awards!” but it turns out it’s “they’re playing our tune; the awooga waltz!”

[bloodteller]

i also used to think rimmer was called “Rimmeire” because Lister pronounces it really oddly in Demons and Angels. on top of that, the line “as was using his uniform as a temporary latrine’ i heard as “using his uniform as a tent of the tree.” it was my first episode of red dwarf though so i think these were understandable mistakes

[International Debris]

the first time i watched Demons and Angels i thought Cat said “hey guys, they’re gonna be playing our tunes at the Wilbur Awards!” but it turns out it’s “they’re playing our tune; the awooga waltz!”

To be fair, that line is said at such speed that it’s bloody hard to make it out even when you know what it is.

[Ben Saunders]

The awooga waltz is a fucking brilliant line.

[RickLee84]

Rimmer discovering what shirt tails are for and using his uniform as a temporary latrine… Can holograms shit and piss or are these just elaborate ways of joking that “Rimmer shit/pissed himself” metaphorically rather than physically. If it’s an absure idea that holograms could ever piss or shit, what happens the Mimosian banquet Rimmer eats in Legion?

[International Debris]

The digestive process of a hardlight hologram is something I have a feeling Rob and Doug didn’t consider too closely before writing it in. I always assumed it just came out the other end when his inner chamber became ful- no, it’s too weird.

[Ben Saunders]

The first thing Rimmer felt when he became hard light was an extreme and urgent desire to do the fat steaming shit he didn’t have time to do before he died because he was apologising to the captain for killing everyone

[Warbodog]

Naively misunderstood lines: Currently watching Dimension Jump for the first time in a few years (what an ep). I only just got the joke “rubber shares went up this morning.” I used to assume it was something to do with his clothing, and never updated that innocent first impression. 32 years old.

[Ben Saunders]

Oh God THAT’S what that means

[flanl3]

Oh no.

[bloodteller]

condoms?

[flanl3]

Either that, dildos, tires, shoes, or bouncy balls.

Or something else I’m missing entirely.

[Ben Saunders]

Tyres for his many sports cars

[si]

Two pound black ribbed nobblers.

[Dave]

Until I just looked it up, I genuinely thought Holly was asking Rimmer if he wanted “a ham with your homework”.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Home work ham is very common, I can understand that misunderstanding there.

[Dave]

It’s one of those things I just never questioned. That someone might want a bit of ham with their homework. Which, now that I type it, seems obviously stupid.

[bloodteller]

does the ham come in a sandwich or is it just on its own?

[Dave]

I imagine a full, glazed ham.

[Hamish]

Steamed hams?

Please, don’t hit me.

[Warbodog]

Mistaken identity/Ductpdate: Just remembered that the same younger brother who corrected me about Duct Soup’s dead-cat-swinging reference himself thought that “it’s Princess Leia” was a cheeky nod to the “fact” that Kochanski was played by the same actress as Princess Leia from off of Star Wars 20 years earlier. I WON THAT.

[Moonlight]

Rimmer discovering what shirt tails are for and using his uniform as a temporary latrine… Can holograms shit and piss or are these just elaborate ways of joking that “Rimmer shit/pissed himself” metaphorically rather than physically. If it’s an absure idea that holograms could ever piss or shit, what happens the Mimosian banquet Rimmer eats in Legion?

I’m pretty sure we had an entire thread about this before.

[RickLee84]

Was that discussion nominated for Hall of Fame status?

[Plastic Percy]

The first time I heard it, I thought Lister’s “Fat Bastardoria” was “Fat Bast-at-the-Rear”.

[bloodteller]

the first time i heard low rimmer’s speech i always heard it as “i’m going to lash you to within an inch of your life….and then….i’m going to hurt you”.

tbh i think it sounds more threatening that way, him saying he’s going to have sex with lister isn’t nearly as sinister

[bloodteller]

demons & angels is really one that you have to watch twice to understand what everyone is saying i guess

[Warbodog]

“You never had the right set of pens for your genie drawing.”

Okay, I knew that wasn’t the actual word, and it was just something similar-sounding that I always allowed to pass over my head like some of the cultural references. Apparently “G & E drawing.” I don’t know what that is.

[Ben Saunders]

What episode is that from? What’s a good+e drawing?

[Pete Part Three]

The line is from Me²

I think G.E stands for General Electric. And G.E drawings are very detailed diagrams of trains.

I think.

[Warbodog]

Looks like it’s in the first novel’s adaptation too, so obviously a familiar enough reference in the late 80s. Either that, or Rimmer’s exam prep involves doing a drawing of a genie.

[NoFro]

I’ve seen “ham with your homework” mentioned as a misheard line a few times. Never heard it that way myself but it’s interesting that several people have.

[Warbodog]

“Lister to Red Dwarf, we have an Armitzvah complete smegpot.”

[Ben Saunders]

When I was young I didn’t know that the word “shoals existed” so I thought they were just pronouncing “shites” really weirdly.

[Dave]

Goldfish shites nibbling at my tights?

[International Debris]

“Lister to Red Dwarf, we have an Armitzvah complete smegpot.”

Yes! It took a long time for me to work that out.

[bloodteller]

i think it’s “our midst” isn’t it?

[NoFro]

It is.

I don’t think I’ve had any of these confusions…

[International Debris]

I think my version was “Lister to Red Dwarf, we have Armizvah’d a complete smegpot”, as in a term to mean they’ve been saddled with. A well known term.

[bloodteller]

i thought it was bar mitzvah

[Ian Symes]

The first time I heard it, I thought Lister’s “Fat Bastardoria” was “Fat Bast-at-the-Rear”.

I heard it as “The Fat Bastard Of The Year”.

[Ridley]

Lister does call Chen “Ched” in Back in the Ren, right?

[Author]

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