Norm’s post-Dwarf tell-all

[Ben Paddon]

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NORMAN LOVETT AND ADOLF HITLER?

HITLER STILL HAS ONE BALL.

[Ridley]

Hitler got his book published?

[JamesTC]

Hitler was in Series III and IV?

[si]

> Was that when you complained about him moaning on the Series VIII commentary?

Yup. I wouldn’t mind if I’d @mentioned him, but his daughter just found me talking about him, told me off, and since then, on the odd occasion I’ve looked, I can’t see Norm’s tweets.
Hence I never actually say “Norman Lovett” on Twitter. I usually just mention ‘Norm’ when necessary.

[Phil]

He searches for that, too.

[JamesTC]

Oh, it seems I’m blocked by him too. I have the “Loading Tweets seems to be taking a while.” on Chrome when logged in but when I use IE when I’m not logged in I can see his tweets.

[Ben Paddon]

Sorry, you can’t follow this user (because they’re blocking you).

My guess? Norm searched for us all individually on Twitter just so he could block us.

[redhead85]

> My guess? Norm searched for us all individually on Twitter just so he could block us.

N’aww. Sweet.

[Ben Paddon]

Truly, he cares a lot.

[ori-STUDFARM]

Bastard! Now I have Faith No More buzzing around my brain!

[Alex]

Oddly I’m not blocked by him. What is the world coming to when Ian makes up with Iian Lee and me and Norm seem to be on ok terms?

[si]

It’s because of the Jubilee, I imagine.

[Pete Part Three]

You’re not missing much, guys.

[Phil]

Possibly just delayed.

Thanks Philip. Hopefully we will get to publish this title sometime next year.
Best regards
Chris Cowlin
Production & Publishing Manager
Apex Publishing Ltd

[pfm]

Norman Lovett’s Bald.

[Cloud Strife]

I tweeted norm asking him when “his book of all the people he hates” was out. But he blocked me haha.

[Alex]

I’d imagine he’s more concerned with finiding somehwere to live at the moment to be honest, what with having set fire to his flat and all.

[Ben Paddon]

Wait, what?

Edit: Oh! Well then!

[HelloMabel]

What does “all processions ruined” mean?

[si]

I saw that he’d blocked Robert Llewellyn as well.

But yes, sorry to hear about his fridge and everything.

[ori-STUDFARM]

The same fridge that was a gift from Tony Hawk!He Tweeted that it looked a little ‘battered’

[si]

You’d think any Red Dwarf cast members would get at least a discount on Smeg fridges.

[ori-STUDFARM]

They can…But Norm refused his discount and paid full price after discovering his discount was less than the other cast members.

[Ben Paddon]

I think he set his own fridge on fire, personally.

[ori-STUDFARM]

When the packet says “Cook from frozen”, that isn’t quite what it means….

[pfm]

I heard he gives good head.

[mick]

Took some trawling through my old photobucket account to find this gem:

[Mr-Stabby]

For the first time in a long time i decided to listen to the commentaries on the Series 8 DVDs. I can’t believe i’ve never noticed how negative Norm is being in these commentaries. The thing is, a lot of the time he actually has a point with what he’s saying. Mainly with the whole ‘this used to be a sitcom, now it’s panto’ type stuff. Even sighing the occasional ‘Oh my god…’ at points in the shows when i was doing the exact same thing for it being stupid or crap in some way.

But he’s just being pointlessly antagonistic towards the rest of the cast at various points. They occasionally bite back at him. I love it when Chris does his impression of Norm, then when Norm says his career as an impressionist is over, Chris says ‘Well maybe you should be more famous Norm then i’d be back in business’. Classic :D

[JamesTC]

I wonder if Norm will be in the new series.

[HelloMabel]

> I wonder if Norm will be in the new series.

Yes. That memorable guest appearance everyone’s talking about?

George Wendt.

[Jo]

Blimey, the publishing company REALLY likes quiz books!
http://www.apexpublishing.co.uk/latestnews.aspx

[HelloMabel]

1. Norman Lovett’s favorite hobby is:
A. Moaning
B. Moaning about Red Dwarf
C. Moaning about his ball being taken away

[Ridley]

I can’t believe i’ve never noticed how negative Norm is being in these commentaries.

I believe it was Mr. Paddon who pointed out his disappointment – not in these words, mind – that the crotchety old man schtick doesn’t appear to be an act.

[mick]

I realised after seeing him have a mental rant at a barman in Peterborough, that he was in fact a massive cunt.

[Ben Paddon]

He’s like Larry David, but without all that natural charm.

[Mr-Stabby]

I realised after seeing him have a mental rant at a barman in Peterborough, that he was in fact a massive cunt.

What about???

Barman: Here’s your drink Mr Lovett
Norm: Where’s my umbrella?! Give me my umbrella! If i don’t get my umbrella, you won’t get another line out of me!
Barman: You’ve had one too many lines already!

[Phil]

Norm walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” Norm spends 10 years slagging off the bartender personally, the bar itself, the town in which the bar is located, and everyone who’s ever enjoyed themselves at the bar, then moans about not be invited to the anniversary of its opening.

[Pete Part Three]

Excellent.

[Ben Paddon]

I nominate etc.

[Phil]

Hi, no its not going ahead.

best regards

Chris Cowlin
Production & Publishing Manager
Apex Publishing Ltd

[Ridley]

She said “I’ll take the tell-all.” And she took the tell-all and hid… And locked it away in a cupboard.

[Sam Johnson]

Clearly we’re not going to get another line out of Norm…

[peas_and_corn]

I guess they’re not interested in the audience Norman has.

[Ian Symes]

I had a good long chat with Norman tonight. He’s very much aware of this thread, and both its general and specific content. We each conceded that regrettable things had been said on both sides, and that (especially around Back To Earth) there was bad blood between Norman and Red Dwarf fans, and that this was a sad state of affairs. Norman and I shook hands, and we both expressed a desire to draw a line under things.

He also mentioned that he’d taken a break from writing his autobiography, but is back on it now. And incidentally – he likes Series X!

[Phil]

If it’s any consolation, there was no period during which I didn’t want to read this book.

[Jonsmad]

You had a photograph taken shaking Iain Lee’s hand. Now you are expressing desires to move on from anti-Norman sentiments on G & T.

God fucking dam it Symes!!! Stop being so fucking mature. We are running out of obvious formulaic but of the joke shared gag references around here man!

* sigh* ok ok. I’m onboard. Well done to you. And Well done to Norm. Bright new future.

But if you ever, AND I MEAN EVER, have a nice little chat and photograph opportunity with Chloe’s vaginal entry, and agree that the future direction is that we all no longer discuss it’s frothable capabilities. Then I’m fucking out of here.

[Danny Stephenson]

Thanks to Jonsmad, i’ve just discovered what might well be the most interesting word to say out loud in the English Language next to ‘egg’, ‘sponge’ and ‘pebble’: Frothable. Thanks for that.

[Ridley]

Stop being so fucking mature.

More like self-preservation while he continues to encroach on their professions. :p

[Ian Symes]

For the record, I’m not asking anyone to change their opinions on Norman, or to feel restricted into what they can or can’t post here. I explained to Norman the difference between G&T’s editorial comment and what the community says on the forum, and that we would never censor or moderate anyone’s opinions.

All I’m saying is that I, personally, don’t want to be involved in any sort of feud, which you may remember I also said in one of our Series X Instant Reaction Dwarfcasts – around six months before I’d even considered doing standup, let alone found out that I’d be on the same bill as him! I think Norm has acted like a tit at times in the recent past, but I’m willing to forgive and forget. Same deal with Iain Lee – between us, we called an end to the aggression online about a year before that reconciliation photo was posted.

[Pete Part Three]

I think he needs to do an interview about this (and G+T is the obvious place for it). I agree with a lot of his criticisms of recent Red Dwarf but don’t think he, as a former cast member, has acted very professionally in being so vocal about them.

He *may* have been badly treated but I think he’s been very misguided in expecting fans to side with him over Grant Naylor, and I hope he realises that now. If Series VIII told us anything, it’s that RD fans are a forgiving bunch (Well, some of them. Well, one of them. Maybe) so if he put the record straight, it would probably do him a favour. The alternative is waiting for his autobiography, but I don’t know how many fans would buy that with the way things are currently.

[Author]

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