Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum Red Dwarf is a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn

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  • #206392
    Bexley Heath
    Participant

    A Dwarfy friend and I were chatting on Facebook about the anniversary date being so close to Valentine’s Day but much more fun. She remarked it was a shame they don’t sell cards to mark the occasion.

    Result: the two of us start creating bizarre RD/Hallmark crossover doggerel that could go in Valentine’s Day cards, or Anniversary cards, or both… I present to you a couple of mine.

    “Back in the Red
    is less good than Blue
    No-one likes Pete
    but I love Me2.”

    And, apparently in a subconscious tribute to my inner stalker:

    “Soft-light is red,
    Hard-light is blue,
    You light up my life
    But I can’t touch you.”

    I know from the Rimmericks thread that plenty of us round here have a real talent for trite verse. So, gentlefolk, the floor is yours…

    #206397
    Nick R
    Participant

    “Back in the Red
    is less good than Blue
    No-one likes Pete
    but I love Me2.”

    A Polymorph scared*
    A virus de-haired
    No-one likes Pete
    But I love Me^2.

    * Or alternatively: “Arn’s nostrils flared…”

    #206398
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    Rimmer’s a smeg
    Legion’s one too
    But you my dear
    Are a pile of poo

    …maybe for a divorce card?

    #206400
    Jimboid
    Participant

    The Valentines woes
    of an unwashed space bum:
    He’s his own dad
    And his girlfriend’s his mum.

    #206406
    si
    Participant

    I used to have a couple of the RD greetings cards. Alas, I could never afford the full set.

    #206408
    JEZZMUND
    Participant

    That’s not a limerick!

    #206409
    si
    Participant

    Neither’s that. :P

    #206411
    takerdemon
    Participant

    Unless you’re a pleasure GELF,
    I want you for the foreseeable,
    Let’s lay down, move back and forth,
    In that way humans find so agreeable.

    Might be okay for a short-term relationship.

    #206412
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    A show called Red Dwarf makes us laugh, cheer and groan
    And think that perhaps the slime’s already home.
    We view the show with something close to idolatry,
    Write lim’ricks for it, and other shit poetry.

    #206413
    Jimboid
    Participant

    Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf
    Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf
    Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf
    Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf.

    #206415
    MANI506
    Participant

    Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf?

    #206417
    Bexley Heath
    Participant

    A Polymorph scared*
    A virus de-haired
    No-one likes Pete
    But I love Me^2.

    Christ, it took me so long to get that! My brain just absolutely refuses to read that episode title as “Me Squared”, because it can’t bear the mathematical illogic. Multiplying a person by himself shouldn’t give you two of him, unless Rimmer can be numerically represented as 1.41421356237…

    (And thus I’m sure you understand why my subconscious prefers to read it as “Me Too”, which still doesn’t make any sense but is at least sort of a pun, rather than let me get any further with my pedantic anal-retentive prattling.)

    #206418
    Jimboid
    Participant

    > Red Dwarf Red Dwarf Red Dwarf?

    How did you guess, sir?

    #206419
    Carlito
    Participant

    Dwarfs are red,
    Midgets are blue,
    I think I E5 A9 08 B7
    you.

    #206420

    Carlito wins.

    #206426
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Ah, but Jimboid’s can be sung to the theme from “Gilligan’s Island.”

    #206432
    anniescribe
    Participant

    I’m dressed up all fancy
    With no ladies to impress
    Oh, the woes of a lone Cat
    Who’s- HEY! MY shiny thing!

    #206433
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    “Multiplying a person by himself shouldn’t give you two of him”

    Me2 = Me x Me = Me. So Rimmer times Rimmer means you take Rimmmer and times him by Rimmer and you end up with just Rimmer. Sounds like exactly what happens in the episode to me, you multiply Rimmer onboard and by the end of this plotted equation you get the outcome of just Rimmer. No need for souper numbers.

    Alright so im only arguing cus Carlito has cleverly come up with the poem idea from Camile I was thinking of posting. And alright you might have a . to be honest. But Me2 surely just looks likes a fun pun a bit like Mc2 and if it had been Mex2 people’s brains would have refused to see it as Me Multiplied by two, and instead see it as Mex too, and then wonder why there was no tequila or sombreros in the episode.

    #206434
    si
    Participant

    Me to the power of two. Simple.

    #206437
    HelloMabel
    Participant

    Rimmer is a negative one. Therefore the episode should actually be called i^2.

    …do you see?

    #206441
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    “Me to the power of two. Simple.”

    Bexley’s point is that exponentiation
    Is not the same as simple multiplication
    Me to the power of two
    Me x Me = Me, not Me x Me = Me & Me too
    So they’ve bollocksed the mathematical notation

    It should be Me Multiplied not Me Squared
    But I posited that no fucker cared
    Me2 like Mc2 is a fun looking equation
    More than good enough for that occasion
    When twice the usual amount of nostrils were flared

    #206442
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    “Rimmer is a negative one. Therefore the episode should actually be called i^2”

    Yes Mabel! Brilliant. Love it. :-)

    i^2 > me2 = http://youtu.be/zJDu5D_IXbc

    #206445
    Blisschick
    Participant

    Rimmer is a negative one. Therefore the episode should actually be called i^2.
    …do you see?

    Ha! I see what you did there.

    #206446
    Bexley Heath
    Participant

    Me2 = Me x Me = Me. So Rimmer times Rimmer means you take Rimmer and times him by Rimmer and you end up with just Rimmer. Sounds like exactly what happens in the episode to me…

    That. Is. Perfect. Jonsmad, you’re a genius! That episode title’s been bugging me since I was ten, and that’s the first time anyone’s fudged an explanation for it which my over-analytical mind deems acceptable! Yeah, I know you were only saying it to argue the toss, but I feel so much better now :D

    Rimmer is a negative one. Therefore the episode should actually be called i^2.

    *applause* You know what, I think I E5 A9 08 B7 all of you guys.

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