Shut Up And Let Me FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

[pfm]

So, the Reading and Leeds festival. Know anyone who’s gone? I’m immensely annoyed that the brilliant idea of ‘Leeds + Metallica = I’m there’ didn’t quite pan out. I should be typing this from a tent whilst off my face (on legal substances) wondering whether some dickhead is gonna start setting fire to people’s posessions and whether I actually care, before trying to crawl into my girlfriend’s sleeping bag and then realising it’s not our tent and I’m scared.

The BBC’s coverage is moderate to OK. If only Zane Lowe wasn’t such…a twat. And whenever I see Edith Bowman I expect her to start talking about KT Tunstall or something. Another thing, I’m telling you I can’t, I just CAN’T hear Shut Up And Let Me Go any more (it’s used over the credits and intros of the coverage). I don’t mind watching the Ting Tings onstage for a while but I simply don’t want to hear a single ‘nother note from the-singles-that-people-know-by-them, not one. Ahh well, I’m just bitter. BITTER, I tell ye! I mean COME ON! QOTSA for a start, I would have loved to have seen them there. The Killers, Bloc Party, Slipknot (only joking, I would have been fucking glad that they pulled out), I mean FFS RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE!! Editors too. Flipping heck…

[mick]

Last time I went to Leeds a group of hairy rocker types, under the command of one Ian Symes, held me down and gang raped me during ‘pretty fly for a white guy’.

Those were the days.

[ChrisM]

You keep saying things that fit with the facial expression.

[mick]

Rampant gorilla buggery.

[Jason aka Smeg4Brains]

> Rampant gorilla buggery.

Wasn’t that one of the bands at Leeds?

[Tarka Dal]

No it’s the name of Seven Day Weekend’s debut album.

[Danny Stephenson]

It’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use it.

[ChrisM]

>It?s not the size that counts, it?s how you use it.

Heh. I had an idea someone might say that.

And silverbacks tend to have a harem of females don’t they?

Hmmmmm…

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

>It?s not the size that counts, it?s how you use it.

This would especially hold true for gorillas, as I recall reading somewhere that they’re generally not much more than a couple of inches long, down there. Humans are supposed to have among the largest genitals, proportional to their body size, in the animal kingdom, aren’t they?

I need to stop reading so many books.

[Ian Symes]

Humans are supposed to have among the largest genitals, proportional to their body size, in the animal kingdom, aren?t they?

Well, some of us do.

[mick]

Symes is hung like a whale, I have the scars to prove it.

[ChrisM]

Humans are supposed to have among the largest genitals, proportional to their body size, in the animal kingdom, aren?t they?

According to the programme I saw, chimps have bigger. We’re in the middle.

(My dog’s was weird. It was tiny normally, but when he erm… got excited, it was scary just how much longer… (3-4 time the length. Really.)

It was rather scary. And he didn’t seem too fussy who he erm…

Ok I’m shutting up now, this could get misinterpreted.

[TheLeen]

Well, as far as I know that would be barnacles. Their thingies are 40 times their body’s size.

[Tarka Dal]

Before you even got to the bit about making your doge excited so you could see how big it was…

> According to the programme I saw, chimps have bigger. We?re in the middle.

So chimps are bigger than Humans and you want to be between two of them?

[Tarka Dal]

So that’s why he was called Barnacle Jim!

[ChrisM]

Before you even got to the bit about making your doge excited so you could see how big it was?

> According to the programme I saw, chimps have bigger. We?re in the middle.

So chimps are bigger than Humans and you want to be between two of them?

(Snigger. I realized that looked a bit dodgey when I wrote it.)

I’d ask em to dress up in a frock first. I’m not completely without class.
What can I say, it’s been a while.

[Tarka Dal]

*sigh*

[Arlene Rimmer BSc SSc]

Before you even got to the bit about making your doge excited so you could see how big it was?

“Doge”? Are we in Venice now? [/obscureandboringjoke]

So we’ve gone from discussing the Leeds festival to animal penises and bestiality. We’re such a classy bunch here at G&T.

[ChrisM]

I missed the ‘doge’ bit in the email!

It was certainly nothing intentional. He managed that all by himself. (I can’t help being a sexy beast. Just need to get it to work on women….;) )

Nah, he was a great, funny and excitable (not just in that way) dog. One of those silly mutts who jump up when people come to visit, and won’t leave them alone for ages… and tries doing *wrong* things to them if he can get away with it.

“Mum? Shep wants a piggy back!” (I was young and I didn’t know what he was doing honest.)

“WHAT!? STOPTHATRIGHTNOW!”

Sweet dog though. Not vicious at all except to other dogs. (He didn’t get on

[Author]

Posts