Home Forums Ganymede & Titan Forum What if every episode had an XI-style ending?

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  • #217847
    flanl3
    Participant

    If other episodes had ended a) a little sooner or b) a little differently to give it that abrupt XI-style ending, how would they have ended?

    For example, Queeg – ending right on the “what’s happenin’, dudes?” with no explanation.

    #217848
    Dave
    Participant

    Look out Earth!

    #217849
    flanl3
    Participant

    *old cat hears cloister*
    *dies*
    [credits roll]

    #217851

    …..your hallucinating

    (roll credits)

    #217853
    Ridley
    Participant

    *Starbug flies into lava*

    *credits roll*

    #217854
    Dave
    Participant

    “That’s… never happened before.”

    THE END

    [credits roll]

    #217857

    “They must have looked something like… a roast chicken”

    [Credits roll without pause]

    #217859
    Nick R
    Participant

    “You’re a bit of a slob, Lister, you know, but when it comes down to it you keep your word. This time I’m gonna believe you. Let’s go for another drink.”

    [credits roll]

    #217860
    flanl3
    Participant

    (Rimmer & Lister makeout scene)
    [credits roll]

    #217862
    Dave
    Participant

    There may be a what? A way out of this, is that what you were going to say? Speak, Kryten… how can we change what’s[credits roll]

    #217863
    Taiwan Tony
    Participant

    LISTER FIRES BAZOOKOID AT DNA CURRY MONSTER.
    CREDITS.

    #217864
    Dave
    Participant

    Life, by its very nature, has to be cruel, unkind and unf-IT’S COLD OUTSIDE

    #217865
    flanl3
    Participant

    *zooms in on Lister’s face after eating the low strawberry*
    [credits roll]

    #217871
    Ridley
    Participant

    “Oh and sir–“‘IT’SCOLDOUTSIDE

    #217872
    Ben Paddon
    Participant

    Mm! Smells good, Kryts! What is i[credits roll]

    #217877
    Dax101
    Participant

    He won’t be long. He’s…you know… in the bushes.
    [credits roll]

    #217878
    cwickham
    Participant

    “Does this mean I’m not the son of God?” [credits roll]

    “Or we could use the teleporter.” [credits roll]

    “Of course, lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo!” [credits roll]

    “His brain couldn’t handle the concept of there being no silicon heaven.” [credits roll]

    [The Polymorph blows up.] [credits roll]

    “Anything’s better than listening to an album by Olivia Newton-John.” [credits roll]

    “To Ganymede and Titan, yes sir I’ve been around…” [credits roll]

    #217879
    bloodteller
    Participant

    *Lister receives his Chef’s Exam Results*

    “How did you do? How did you do Lister?”

    [CREDITS ROLL]

    #217882
    Pete Part Three
    Participant

    “Man, I hope it’s mine, because I know, with her as a mother, they would have been the best kids they could possibly be, cos I mean, she was a wonderful woman, and I’m sure she’d have been an even more wonderful mother. Wish me luck…”

    [credits roll]

    Oh wait, that’s better.

    #217884
    flanl3
    Participant

    (series III opening engine roar)
    [credits roll]

    #217887
    Dave
    Participant

    And if you told them the truth, you know what they’d probably do? 

    [credits roll]

    #217901

    [Kennedy fades away]

    [credits roll]

    #217904
    clem
    Participant

    Camille: This is what I really look like.

    Kryten: Oh.

    [credits roll]

    #217905
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    Butler ruins all of Red Dwarf.

    “Lister is that a cigarette you are smoking?”
    “No Its a…”
    “Sorry to interrupt you sirs, my name is
    Butler, I’m the new service mechanoid.
    I’ve cleaned all the soup nozzles on this floor
    so you don’t need to be arguing about your shift,
    I will see you later I’m off to five the drive plate
    an early mot.”

    #217911
    si
    Participant

    Rimmer: What about me, old man? What happens to me?
    […]
    Old Lister: Rimmer, you wanted to know what happened to you.
    [credits roll]

    #217918

    Rimmer: It’s changing colour!
    Lister: What colour?
    Rimmer: It is! It’s changing colour!
    Lister: What colour!?
    Rimmer: It’s blue for not pregnant, right?
    Lister: Yes!

    [credits roll]

    #217919
    si
    Participant

    Rimmer: Open the trunk.

    [credits roll]

    #217920
    si
    Participant

    Kryten: I knew something he didn’t.

    [credits roll]

    —————

    Lister: Rimmer? You OK?
    Rimmer: What happened to me? Where am I?

    [credits roll]

    —————

    Kryten: This stardrive is going to work. Do we believe?
    Rimmer, Lister & Cat: We believe.

    [credits roll]

    —————

    #217922
    flanl3
    Participant

    (literally any instant in Queeg)
    [roll credits]

    #217928
    Dave
    Participant

    Giving me my gauntlet back?

    Well, I’m alright. You can’t touch me. You might have killed the others, but I’m ok.

    [CREDITS ROLL]

    #217934
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    I don’t want anyone to get into a flap here, but I’m the Rimmer who’s from the double-double future.

    I̧̘̲͕ͧ̚͠Ṱ͕͔͆̈́̈ͭ̔̂̓̒̈͢͠’͈̘̝̪̠͈͓̬̍S͎̮̣̥̝͚̭̼̉ͨ͌͑ͥ̀͠ͅ ̧̨͙͕͉̳̮̟̲̦ͤ͐̾̃̌C͒ͤͯ̄̓ͩ̿͏̛͓̰̗̭̘̮̞̀O̤̲͕͉̯̽͆̽̑̆̎̅L̷̡͓̜͆̆̏ͅD͎͈̼̺͙̻̖ͬ̿͌̅̃ͫ̆̀̕ ̲̝͚̳̝̹ͧ̾ͧ̉̔͞Ȯ̰͓̭͔ͨ̌ͩ̔ͣ͆ͣ͐Ų̹̙ͦ̒̄ͪ̏̌̀̚T̶͈̮̲̻͗̿̿̍̑̑͜͢S̶̨͖̟͉̭̼͇̜ͭ̆ͮ̀̌ͣͅIͩ̿͆̏̆̈́̏҉̫͍̠̱͖̣̰̻̬Ḑ̟̦̬̤̰̘͕̿̐͗ͧ̀̑͋͌̋E͋͒͑ͯ̾̈҉͉̹̥̭̥̙̙ͅ

    #217935

    Paul, we need to re-shoot the first episode, it’s not coming together in the edit.

    IT’S COLD OUTSIDE.

    #217943
    Brayds2006
    Participant

    Mrs. Naylor, It’s a boy!

    IT’S COLD OUTSIDE (the womb)

    #217970
    flanl3
    Participant

    “Rimmer will have sex with Kochanski.”
    [credits roll]

    #217971
    si
    Participant

    *Series VIII opening titles*

    [roll credits]

    #217972

    At last, one that’s a genuine improvement!

    #218159
    bloodteller
    Participant

    confidence and paranoia has now been given an XI-style ending, after the poor reception of the re-mastered version in which confidence died in lister’s sock drawer.

    #218160
    flanl3
    Participant

    Well, I must say, Rimmer being played by Alan Rickman is something I don’t find the most reminiscent of XI, but… alright

    #218161
    bloodteller
    Participant

    doug naylor re-edits of mice and men with an officer-rimmer type ending.

    okay i’ll stop now, i’m sorry.

    #218164
    Jawscvmcdia
    Participant

    Backwards with a XI-style ending:

    https://youtu.be/zihruo19QIE

    #218185
    Joe
    Participant

    The prism laser breaks as Lister walks face first into the mirror. [Credits]

    #218213

    Ian Symes decides against a Red Dwarf fan-site and dedicates the webspace to his first love, Babylon 5.

    It’s cold and early CGI-ey outside.

    #218214
    flanl3
    Participant

    The Creator writes the crew to death.

    #218215
    Ian Symes
    Keymaster

    Babylon 5’s a big pile of shit.

    #218218
    si
    Participant

    GET OUT.

    #219210
    cwickham
    Participant

    THE END: 2017 REMASTERED VERSION

    [Int. RED DWARF CORRIDOR. RIMMER is carrying a clipboard; behind him comes LISTER, pushing a trolley full of tools and spare parts.]
    Lister [singing]: “IT’S COLD OUTSIDE, THERE’S NO KIND OF ATMOSPHERE…”

    #219211
    si
    Participant

    No, Rimmer’s clipboard has been replaced by a poorly realised CG tablet.

    #219213
    Jonsmad
    Participant

    The End 2017 Remastered.

    A pointless overlaid separately re shot 2017 Skutter head wizzes back and forth across the screen
    operated by Kerry Waddell, a second Skutter appears operated by Richard Naylor, the two droids get into a Skutter fight scene as first written for body snatcher.

    #219214
    Dax101
    Participant

    If early shows had Series XI style jokes

    HOLOSHIP.

    Rimmer gives the line “I have come to regard you as people… i Met” and then follows it with more jokes where it seems like he is going to say something nice but doesn’t while the other characters give reaction shots.

    RImmer then realizes how much he doesn’t care and says something smug about how glad he is to be leaving and then teleporting out while the audience laughs and claps.

    I wish i was joking about that but no i am pretty convinced this would happen ;p

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