What if every episode had an XI-style ending?

[flanl3]

If other episodes had ended a) a little sooner or b) a little differently to give it that abrupt XI-style ending, how would they have ended?

For example, Queeg – ending right on the “what’s happenin’, dudes?” with no explanation.

Topic

[Dave]

Look out Earth!

[flanl3]

*old cat hears cloister*
*dies*
[credits roll]

[RamesesNiblickTheThird]

…..your hallucinating

(roll credits)

[Ridley]

*Starbug flies into lava*

*credits roll*

[Dave]

“That’s… never happened before.”

THE END

[credits roll]

[International Debris]

“They must have looked something like… a roast chicken”

[Credits roll without pause]

[Nick R]

“You’re a bit of a slob, Lister, you know, but when it comes down to it you keep your word. This time I’m gonna believe you. Let’s go for another drink.”

[credits roll]

[flanl3]

(Rimmer & Lister makeout scene)
[credits roll]

[Dave]

There may be a what? A way out of this, is that what you were going to say? Speak, Kryten… how can we change what’s[credits roll]

[Taiwan Tony]

LISTER FIRES BAZOOKOID AT DNA CURRY MONSTER.
CREDITS.

[Dave]

Life, by its very nature, has to be cruel, unkind and unf-IT’S COLD OUTSIDE

[flanl3]

*zooms in on Lister’s face after eating the low strawberry*
[credits roll]

[Ridley]

“Oh and sir–“‘IT’SCOLDOUTSIDE

[Ben Paddon]

Mm! Smells good, Kryts! What is i[credits roll]

[Dax101]

He won’t be long. He’s…you know… in the bushes.
[credits roll]

[cwickham]

“Does this mean I’m not the son of God?” [credits roll]

“Or we could use the teleporter.” [credits roll]

“Of course, lager! The only thing that can kill a vindaloo!” [credits roll]

“His brain couldn’t handle the concept of there being no silicon heaven.” [credits roll]

[The Polymorph blows up.] [credits roll]

“Anything’s better than listening to an album by Olivia Newton-John.” [credits roll]

“To Ganymede and Titan, yes sir I’ve been around…” [credits roll]

[bloodteller]

*Lister receives his Chef’s Exam Results*

“How did you do? How did you do Lister?”

[CREDITS ROLL]

[Pete Part Three]

“Man, I hope it’s mine, because I know, with her as a mother, they would have been the best kids they could possibly be, cos I mean, she was a wonderful woman, and I’m sure she’d have been an even more wonderful mother. Wish me luck…”

[credits roll]

Oh wait, that’s better.

[flanl3]

(series III opening engine roar)
[credits roll]

[Dave]

And if you told them the truth, you know what they’d probably do? 

[credits roll]

[International Debris]

[Kennedy fades away]

[credits roll]

[clem]

Camille: This is what I really look like.

Kryten: Oh.

[credits roll]

[Jonsmad]

Butler ruins all of Red Dwarf.

“Lister is that a cigarette you are smoking?”
“No Its a…”
“Sorry to interrupt you sirs, my name is
Butler, I’m the new service mechanoid.
I’ve cleaned all the soup nozzles on this floor
so you don’t need to be arguing about your shift,
I will see you later I’m off to five the drive plate
an early mot.”

[si]

Rimmer: What about me, old man? What happens to me?
[…]
Old Lister: Rimmer, you wanted to know what happened to you.
[credits roll]

[International Debris]

Rimmer: It’s changing colour!
Lister: What colour?
Rimmer: It is! It’s changing colour!
Lister: What colour!?
Rimmer: It’s blue for not pregnant, right?
Lister: Yes!

[credits roll]

[si]

Rimmer: Open the trunk.

[credits roll]

[si]

Kryten: I knew something he didn’t.

[credits roll]

—————

Lister: Rimmer? You OK?
Rimmer: What happened to me? Where am I?

[credits roll]

—————

Kryten: This stardrive is going to work. Do we believe?
Rimmer, Lister & Cat: We believe.

[credits roll]

—————

[flanl3]

(literally any instant in Queeg)
[roll credits]

[Dave]

Giving me my gauntlet back?

Well, I’m alright. You can’t touch me. You might have killed the others, but I’m ok.

[CREDITS ROLL]

[peepingsignal]

I don’t want anyone to get into a flap here, but I’m the Rimmer who’s from the double-double future.

I̧̘̲͕ͧ̚͠Ṱ͕͔͆̈́̈ͭ̔̂̓̒̈͢͠’͈̘̝̪̠͈͓̬̍S͎̮̣̥̝͚̭̼̉ͨ͌͑ͥ̀͠ͅ ̧̨͙͕͉̳̮̟̲̦ͤ͐̾̃̌C͒ͤͯ̄̓ͩ̿͏̛͓̰̗̭̘̮̞̀O̤̲͕͉̯̽͆̽̑̆̎̅L̷̡͓̜͆̆̏ͅD͎͈̼̺͙̻̖ͬ̿͌̅̃ͫ̆̀̕ ̲̝͚̳̝̹ͧ̾ͧ̉̔͞Ȯ̰͓̭͔ͨ̌ͩ̔ͣ͆ͣ͐Ų̹̙ͦ̒̄ͪ̏̌̀̚T̶͈̮̲̻͗̿̿̍̑̑͜͢S̶̨͖̟͉̭̼͇̜ͭ̆ͮ̀̌ͣͅIͩ̿͆̏̆̈́̏҉̫͍̠̱͖̣̰̻̬Ḑ̟̦̬̤̰̘͕̿̐͗ͧ̀̑͋͌̋E͋͒͑ͯ̾̈҉͉̹̥̭̥̙̙ͅ

[Phobos And Deimos]

Paul, we need to re-shoot the first episode, it’s not coming together in the edit.

IT’S COLD OUTSIDE.

[peepingsignal]

Mrs. Naylor, It’s a boy!

IT’S COLD OUTSIDE (the womb)

[flanl3]

“Rimmer will have sex with Kochanski.”
[credits roll]

[si]

*Series VIII opening titles*

[roll credits]

[International Debris]

At last, one that’s a genuine improvement!

[bloodteller]

confidence and paranoia has now been given an XI-style ending, after the poor reception of the re-mastered version in which confidence died in lister’s sock drawer.

[flanl3]

Well, I must say, Rimmer being played by Alan Rickman is something I don’t find the most reminiscent of XI, but… alright

[bloodteller]

doug naylor re-edits of mice and men with an officer-rimmer type ending.

okay i’ll stop now, i’m sorry.

[Jawscvmcdia]

Backwards with a XI-style ending:

https://youtu.be/zihruo19QIE

[Joe]

The prism laser breaks as Lister walks face first into the mirror. [Credits]

[Phobos And Deimos]

Ian Symes decides against a Red Dwarf fan-site and dedicates the webspace to his first love, Babylon 5.

It’s cold and early CGI-ey outside.

[flanl3]

The Creator writes the crew to death.

[Ian Symes]

Babylon 5’s a big pile of shit.

[si]

GET OUT.

[cwickham]

THE END: 2017 REMASTERED VERSION

[Int. RED DWARF CORRIDOR. RIMMER is carrying a clipboard; behind him comes LISTER, pushing a trolley full of tools and spare parts.]
Lister [singing]: “IT’S COLD OUTSIDE, THERE’S NO KIND OF ATMOSPHERE…”

[si]

No, Rimmer’s clipboard has been replaced by a poorly realised CG tablet.

[Jonsmad]

The End 2017 Remastered.

A pointless overlaid separately re shot 2017 Skutter head wizzes back and forth across the screen
operated by Kerry Waddell, a second Skutter appears operated by Richard Naylor, the two droids get into a Skutter fight scene as first written for body snatcher.

[Dax101]

If early shows had Series XI style jokes

HOLOSHIP.

Rimmer gives the line “I have come to regard you as people… i Met” and then follows it with more jokes where it seems like he is going to say something nice but doesn’t while the other characters give reaction shots.

RImmer then realizes how much he doesn’t care and says something smug about how glad he is to be leaving and then teleporting out while the audience laughs and claps.

I wish i was joking about that but no i am pretty convinced this would happen ;p

[Author]

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