What if Frankenstein had drunk Lager instead of milk? Would the cat race still have survived? Would they have been too drunk to create religious texts? Would The Cat be the way he was in ‘Polymorph’ permanently? Would this mean that Red Dwarf wouldn’t have run out of cow’s milk, and Lister wouldn’t have ended up drinking dog’s milk? Would this mean that Red Dwarf ran out of lager instead? Would this have motivated Lister to use the time drive to get lager rather than curry, leading them to randomly screw up a different part of history? Would the lack of lager have affected the outcome of ‘Pete’ somehow? Would Lister have started drinking milk instead? Would “Leopard Milk” be literal leopard’s milk, or just cow’s milk with leopard branding? Would the lack of alcohol and raised calcium intake make Lister stronger and sexier, meaning that Rimmer wouldn’t have been able to convince him to swap bodies in ‘Bodyswap’? Would Lister be completely sober in ‘White Hole’, causing him to screw up his planet pool shot and therefore kill everyone instantly?