Where's the bomb?

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

So, has it ever struck anyone else as a bit weird that Red Dwarf initially had a self destruct bomb? What possible situation could possibly occur, running up and down the solar system (or if Skipper is to be believed, up and down the entire galaxy in 6 months) carrying rock around, where the Captain would opt to blow the entire ship to pieces?

[bloodteller]

when lister and rimmer get on his nerves a bit too much

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

You mean like, the Captain could have chosen to self destruct Red Dwarf rather than put Lister in stasis for not giving over Frankenstein?

[bloodteller]

yes but that would be troublesome

[Dave]

Presumably, given its size, if Red Dwarf ever had some kind of navigation malfunction that locked it into a course where it might collide with an inhabited planet or moon, then it could cause death and destruction on a massive scale. In that situation, it might be safer to blow it up before it hit.

[Flap Jack]

I bet if Lister hadn’t survived the radiation leak, Holly’s protocol would have been to trigger the self-destruct, to ensure that no other people would try to approach the ship and die from exposure to the radiation.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Ok, so Dave’s point makes some sense.

Flap Jack … surely Holly could just park outside the solar system and send out a distress call / message to notify anyone not to approach.

In fact, why not do that anyway? It may have even been possible, using mechanoids, to launch a rescue mission to retrieve Lister. Somehow extract the stasis booth intact and get it off the ship then let him out.

[bloodteller]

holly fell asleep at the wheel

[Ben Saunders]

Holly’s got a poor iq for a glass of water

[International Debris]

I bet if Lister hadn’t survived the radiation leak, Holly’s protocol would have been to trigger the self-destruct, to ensure that no other people would try to approach the ship and die from exposure to the radiation.

Which would lead to a LOT of radioactive debris (a friend of mine) flying around.

Although primarily a mining ship, obviously the JMC was happy to let parts of Red Dwarf be used by other aspects of the Space Corp, hence the prisoners, the scientists who created the matter paddle, etc. There could always potentially be something worth protecting enough to destroy the ship.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Maybe Red Dwarf isn’t a mining ship at all (where are all the miners?) and it’s actually a cover for a top secret intergalactic Government research ship.

Floor 13 isn’t a prison but rather an a Zimbardo style prison experiment.

Birdman is research into the effects on space travel and solitary confinement on an insane sparrow loving old man

It would explain all the science decks with extremely capable prototype equipment and how Holly was able to fashion a universe hoping device that allows them to return home, something Ace’s dimension couldn’t guarantee.

The whole thing is a complete cover up. Only the officers know the true meaning of the mission and why nobody at all panics when the end up dead and then revived 3million years into deep space. It’s because its exactly the crazy shit that could potentially happen on a ship designed to research weird spacey things.

[flanl3]

It wasn’t a drive plate that blew, it was another experiment and that’s how they covered it up.

[Dave]

It’s not really three million years later, the whole thing is just a big practical joke the rest of the crew is playing on Lister. They let him out after a few days in stasis and made up all the radiation leak/mass death stuff, and got someone to dress up as a Cat-person to add to the gag. They’re all still hiding on Z deck.

[Hamish]

It’s all in the Captain’s message. It’s all in the microdot.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

It’s a blatant clue isn’t it. Red Dwarf being a mining vessel and not being able to mine.

[Dave]

Are you seriously telling me you watched the mining version of Red Dwarf? For thirty years? Oooh, that’s a classic, that is.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Well that’s the final irony isn’t it. Lister the ultimate space adventurer actually turns out to be a miner.

[flanl3]

Somebody alert the press. This is the biggest story since the Red Dwarf theme had lyrics.

[flanl3]

Well, at least since somebody unearthed the secret of Back to Earth. That one really blew my mind.

[bloodteller]

>Red Dwarf isn’t a mining ship at all (where are all the miners?) and it’s actually a cover for a top secret intergalactic Government research ship.

but the ship has loads of mining equipment on it: the bazookoids, the mining laser from BTE etc. so there was evidently some mining going on somewhere at some point in some area of the ship

[bloodteller]

>It’s not really three million years later, the whole thing is just a big practical joke the rest of the crew is playing on Lister. They let him out after a few days in stasis and made up all the radiation leak/mass death stuff, and got someone to dress up as a Cat-person to add to the gag. They’re all still hiding on Z deck.

actually they got him to lick an envelope and he’s been in an AR machine within an AR machine for the last 3 decades because the captain wants to know where lister hid the cat. so far all he has discovered is that lister is under the bizarre delusion that the captain of a mining ship used to be a donut boy

[flanl3]

but the ship has loads of mining equipment on it: the bazookoids, the mining laser from BTE etc. so there was evidently some mining going on somewhere at some point in some area of the ship

They had to keep everyone fooled somehow.

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

Lister in an AR machine within an AR machine would explain how a Knight was able to escape an AR machine. It’s AR inception

[Moonlight]

I bet if Lister hadn’t survived the radiation leak, Holly’s protocol would have been to trigger the self-destruct, to ensure that no other people would try to approach the ship and die from exposure to the radiation.

Explode the ship, sending radioactive material flying in every direction instead of keeping it contained in one spot. How safe.

[Dave]

That just makes it sound even more like something Holly would do.

[Plastic Percy]

I guess it would be a possible anti-terrorist protocol, stop the ship and it’s valuable cargo of mining ore, convicts and four-thousand-six-hundred-and-ninety-one haggis falling into the hands of space pirates, GELFs and Simulants.

[Ben Saunders]

Flying into the sun would probably be the best thing to do if Lister didn’t survive

[Flap Jack]

I mean, I said “I bet” but only like, £2.50.

I’ll just spitball some other possible reasons to use a self-destruct, that JMC would definitely prepare for for some reason:

1. The ship’s navigation systems have been irreparably damaged and it’s on a crash course for a major population centre, but there’s a window of opportunity to blow up the ship while it’s still in the outer atmosphere and minimise the total number of deaths.
2. A Xenomorph is loose on the ship.
3. In case of interstellar war breaking out, Red Dwarf could be repurposed as a warship and used in a Kamikaze attack.
4. The thing what I said before, but as a safer implosiony type self-destruction that might be possible in the technologically advanced future.
5. To jumpstart the second big bang. Well, that’s the final irony, isn’t it? Lister, the ultimate atheist, tur- oh, you already did this one.

[flanl3]

If they’d had enoUGH TRANSPORT SHIPS LIKE A WELL-EQUIPPED VESSEL, THEY WOULD HAVE ALL ESCaped on stARBUGS AND MIDGETS in Only the Good…, and then blOWN THE DAMN THING UP. AND A MINING SHIP BUILT TO ITS ORIGINAL PLANS BEFORE CUTBACKS IS CERTAINLY GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH ESCAPE PODS/SHIPS, DOUGLAS.

[Dave]

The ship’s navigation systems have been irreparably damaged and it’s on a crash course for a major population centre, but there’s a window of opportunity to blow up the ship while it’s still in the outer atmosphere and minimise the total number of deaths

So what is it?

[bloodteller]

>If they’d had enoUGH TRANSPORT SHIPS LIKE A WELL-EQUIPPED VESSEL, THEY WOULD HAVE ALL ESCaped on stARBUGS AND MIDGETS in Only the Good…, and then blOWN THE DAMN THING UP. AND A MINING SHIP BUILT TO ITS ORIGINAL PLANS BEFORE CUTBACKS IS CERTAINLY GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH ESCAPE PODS/SHIPS, DOUGLAS.

i mean they have enough craft for the main crew to escape, it’s just the prisoners that are left behind. and even then it’s “most” of the prisoners so i guess maybe they took Nigel with them. Nigel is nice

[q u i n n _ d r u m m e r]

I wish Nigel had been a regular character

[si]

He was nice.

[bloodteller]

if you look closely, Nigel appears again in the cinema scene in Krytie TV so i guess he is sort of regualr

[bloodteller]

maybe he appears elsewhere in VIII too? it’s like a really weird version of Where’s Wally

[si]

Nigel appears again in the cinema scene in Krytie TV

Nigel’s nice.

,blockquote> it’s like a really weird version of Where’s Wally

Wally’s a cunt.

[si]

Oh, blah blah edit.

[bloodteller]

honestly i think i would’ve liked VIII a bit more if Nigel had a more prominent role.

i mean he’s definitely preferable to Baxter, who is just boring, and Kill Crazy, who is good in Cassandra but then after that he’s a bit crap and also weren’t all the other Canaries supposed to be dead?

[Author]

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