Who has has a Red Dwarf dream?

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Oh I started this thread and I get the honour of being post 101, page 2!

Last night I dreamt I was kidnapped by some sort of child bootcamp army, but with a base in East London.

It was a really old barracks and I found an old phone box, but so old it had a small 1980s black and white portable TV as a part of its function.

I desperately tried to dial the police to get help because I’d been kidnapped. But the call wouldn’t go through because it was a disconnected phone. However the TV still worked so Holly (Norman) appeared on the screen to inform the phone wasn’t functioning.

I found that a various different combinations of trying to use the phone led to a different Holly message.

Realising this was brand new, unseen Holly footage that we’d never seen before I was excited to share this news with everyone once I escaped my captors.

[Warbodog]

I only remember bobbyllew featuring a couple of times. Always in the full Kryten get-up, even when he was just hanging out on his porch, which I thought was odd behaviour even in the dream. I probably couldn’t remember what he looked like.

[Pete Part Three]

Last night I dreamt I was in the finale of Don’t Look Now.

[si]

really old barracks

Oh, I’ve heard worse. Taiwan Tony, for example.

[Dave]

Last night I dreamt that I was looking through my Red Dwarf DVD shelf and there was something I’d never noticed before, Series 1 and Series 2 of something called “Red Dwarf Liquid”, which turned out to be a spinoff sitcom featuring just Kryten and Rimmer living on Starbug together (maybe set after Cat and Lister had died?) being neurotic and winding each other up.

Also, in one episode Hattie appeared but not as Holly, as a full-bodied human who kept walking around in an elegant dress laughing at them both.

The only other detail I remember was that the spines of both DVDs were olive green.

[Flap Jack]

Sounds like “Red Dwarf but objectively worse”, but eh, I’d still watch it. New Red Dwarf is new Red Dwarf. And who can resist an enigmatic subtitle?

[GlenTokyo]

Red Dwarf Liquid sounds like either an 11pm version of Red Dwarf with nudity and extreme violence made in 2000 to appeal to people who really liked the Matrix, or a Japanese anime spinoff.

[RunawayTrain]

Red Dwarf Liquid sounds like a concept I wouldn’t mind watching for maybe one or two eps, but it would need an extraordinarily good writer to make it worth 2 series!

 

I had a Red Dwarf dream recently and thought of this thread, but didn’t get round to noting it down and now I can’t remember anything about it at all.  Nothing, not even whether it was about the cast or the characters :(

[Moonlight]

Does it count as Red Dwarf if I had a dream where I saw if I can’t have sex with something?

[Dave]

That’s a different Red Dwarf liquid.

[Jenuall]

Fortunately Red Dwarf Liquid gets defeated by Red Dwarf Solid before the end of the game

[Spaceworm Jim]

What d’you mean, “solid?”

[Flap Jack]

Fortunately Red Dwarf Liquid gets defeated by Red Dwarf Solid before the end of the game

Watch out though, I hear it comes back as a ghost who possesses The Cat in the sequel.

[International Debris]

Had a dream about the 1990s Doctor Who story that ripped off Red Dwarf, right down to having Craig, Danny and Arnold Rimmer as Barrie Chris in it, and a race of incorporeal aliens with large, silver ‘H’s on their heads. I was livid.

[Flap Jack]

And you were about to call GNP’s lawyer, but you enjoyed the episode so much that you didn’t?

[Warbodog]

I had a prophetic vision of the next Red Dwarf special. I didn’t realise that was what it was at first, until the boy who wandered into my garden from next door mysteriously departed with “oh, Hollister says hi.” What?

Cue opening titles, which, like The Promised Land’s, clearly don’t have much to draw from, and are focusing way too much on (presumably) the same orange-pink explosion sequence. Uniquely, this montage has captions immodestly praising the quality and technical achievements of the special we’re about to watch, like it’s a trailer. (This is because of the sound effect captions on Smega-Drive images).

The crew are in Starbug, and Lister announces that they’re entering the Hadakachansk system. It has five planets. “Hadakachansk-A” – oh Jesus, they’re actually doing it – he ends with “Hadakachansk… E,” and looks sad.

That’s about all I’ve got. My literal Dream Red Dwarf Episode, there.

[Flap Jack]

Do you think the planet name is actually setting up a Kochanski appearance in this dream special, or is it just a coincidence that makes Lister sad?

Because resolving the Kochanski story is one thing I do feel that Red Dwarf needs to do.

[Warbodog]

I don’t know, my creativity only goes as far as name checking existing characters. I was watching it with similar despair to Timewave, knowing how much G&T was going to slate it, but not finding consolation there.

[Warbodog]

[Ian Symes]

I had a bloody excellent dream last night that I was playing and live-streaming a Red Dwarf / Doctor Who crossover ARG. The plot was that since being rebuilt in Beyond A Joke, Kryten had been an unknowing sleeper agent for The Master, for some reason, and you had to help flush out the malware. It was mostly in the style of Geek Chase, although there were some physical elements too, such as a plastic prop digital camera. I discovered that if you slide the battery release switch, it revealed a tiny working printer. Press a few buttons on that and it spunks out hundreds of numbered screen grabs from Beyond A Joke onwards that represent Kryten’s memories, which you had to pore over for hidden letters that made up a password to get in to the next part of the online game. I remember the Twitch chat went mental over that revelation, with several real forum names turning up with donations and subscriptions. A truly brilliant dream.

[si]

What a poor, sad life he’s got.

[Flap Jack]

Haha, wow, that does sound pretty awesome. Very detailed too.

Imagine that being how they finally introduce aliens into the Red Dwarf universe.

[Flap Jack]

[Ian Symes]

YES.

[International Debris]

Superb.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

The Toclofane but with Kryten’s face. It’s 6.35am and I can’t be arsed with doing a really shit photoshop job on that

[Jonathan Capps]

Toclofane

[Flap Jack]

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Master Rimmer

[Ridley]

Does it count as a Red Dwarf dream when the best your brain has to offer post-Matrix Resurrections is Doug Naylor doing a G&T interview with the gimmick that it’s locked behind a ‘quiz’ which consists of guessing a four digit PIN? He kept dropping hints on Twitter but it was really obvious it was the year of the show’s first broadcast.

[Moonlight]

I’ve had a recurring dream that episode 3 of Series XII is this flashback to VII set on Starbug crashed on a planet, featuring Kochanski. GELFs show up. I can’t remember anything more specific.

My literal dream is that Timewave doesn’t exist.

This episode’s existence has become a mainstay in my dreams (like the secret bedroom in the basement) to the point where I’m starting to get genuinely annoyed it isn’t real. We could have had some neat throwback flashback episode instead of Timewave.

[Ian Symes]

Dreamt last night that we discovered a long-lost Series VIII era PBS-style ident, but for Australian telly. In it, Lister uses a machine labelled “CLOCHE GENERATOR”. We all absolutely lost our shit.

[Jonathan Capps]

Did the machine just endlessly dispense cloches?

[Ian Symes]

Yes. I think it was Kryten who described it as the most important piece of equipment on the ship.

[Moonlight]

[Flap Jack]

Last night I had a wild dream: I found an actually convenient way of typing curly speech marks in Windows.

I’m envious of Ian’s ability to dream about Red Dwarf/Doctor Who crossover specials and cloche generators, not gonna lie. My brain is a boring bastard apparently.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

I sometimes dream of stock sound effects. I’m not sure whether to be annoyed by that or not.

That’s mostly for the benefit of Moonlight, as I don’t recall if I had any Red Dwarf related dreams, which I’m very annoyed about, as the vast majority of my most interesting dreams are already forgotten about long before I have the opportunity to commit them to paper.

Wish they’d hurry up and invent the dream recorder already.

[Flap Jack]

Last night I had a dream that I did today’s Smegle (I know, I know, only in the land of nod could you encounter such absurdity). The frame was of a custom Back to Earth DVD case that was propped up against a tree in the middle of a park, and the revealed square just so happened to be the one that included the DVD cover. I was like “awwww yeah, easy win baby”.

Navigate to smegle-dot-ganymede-dot-tv right now, and observe my gift of precognition.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

I can’t believe I forgot about this, but apparently I had actually had a Red Dwarf dream and completely forgot about it.  I was just looking through some old messages on Discord and I found this gem from last October:

Okay so just as I was waking up I had this dream of a scene from Red Dwarf, the boys were on a set that was kind of a cross between the size, dimensions and features of Series 8’s Blue Midget with the colour scheme of Series 6’s Starbug, and Lister and Rimmer were having a joke at the Cat’s expense by suggesting he had his own colour-coordinated alerts for what set of clothes to wear for what emergency, and they were all misnamed variants, and I am so so annoyed because first off my subconscious is now composing skits that are better than most of the things I ever wrote consciously*, and second because the only specific line I can remember was the weakest part of the gag where it’s a misnamed version of an alert but the first word (which I can’t remember) wasn’t even remotely close to sounding like the name of a colour, and for the second word the closest my brain could come up with as an alternative to alert was “Malone”. 
Like, come on. 
There are closer sounding words in the English language to alert than “Malone”. 
Where did Malone even come from!? 

Also I think Rimmer and Kryten’s seats were swapped.  

Wait no actually he sat on that side in Blue Midget anyway.

So there you have it, a little peep into my subconscious there.  I wish I could remember more about this as it does sound like a fantastic idea for a skit.

.*note: this may or may not still apply, but I certainly wouldn’t admit that now that I can get regular feedback that has for the most part been pretty complimentary about what I’ve been writing as of recently.

[Flap Jack]

The idea has potential for sure, though yeah, Malone probably wouldn’t survive to Rob/Doug’s final draft.

Although the joke could be that Cat is so precise with fashion that he’s come up with thousands of original Cat names for extremely specific colours.

[International Debris]

Just remembered I had a dream about Smegle last night. Can’t remember anything other than that. Must have been yesterday’s fiendish one that got inside my head.

[Formica]

Had a dream that I was shitting in the bathtub at the encouragement of members of this website, somehow.

[International Debris]

Sounds plausible

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Well now you’ve said that, someone’s bound to.

[Warbodog]

A desperately sinister and completely unresolved mystery dream featuring the Red Dwarf posse (barely. I might have been Lister’s POV, because he didn’t appear otherwise).

Exploring a planet, we come across a strange old house complex jutting out of the sea and are invited to stay by its eccentric owner. He gives us a tour of its wallpapered and carpeted labyrinth that’s forced to twist chaotically around the neighbouring/embedded site that was isolated because it’s the site of a crashed meteor or receives cosmic rays or something else weird that’s being analysed.

Our guide plays up the creepiness as he takes us deeper into recurring rooms and corridors and encourages us to explore at our leisure, which we politely agree to but have no intention of doing. We return to the start and he provides improvised exposition with the help of visual aids that suggests we are ciphers for the house’s four original occupants who coincidentally(?) had the same silhouettes (Cat and Kryten were women). We agree that our host is dangerously insane, but turn in for the night anyway.

In the morning, it turns out we were all haunted by scary dreams about the place, which we decide isn’t really surprising. We’re served a breakfast of gelatinous pudding, which Rimmer secretly stows in his bag for analysis. Kryten suggests they take some for analysis, carelessly loud. Rimmer replies through gritted teeth that they should just eat it all up, it’s very nice.

This belated effort to introduce characterisation and comedy was too much for me, and I gave up / woke up.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

This belated effort to introduce characterisation and comedy was too much for me, and I gave up / woke up.

Dammit, I was really looking forward to finding out what happened next. Curse your overly critical narrative analysing faculties being so damn pedantic about the things your fevered imagination spurges up into your snoozing cortex.

[Hamish]

Dammit, I was really looking forward to finding out what happened next. Curse your overly critical narrative analysing faculties being so damn pedantic about the things your fevered imagination spurges up into your snoozing cortex.

[Flap Jack]

Latest Red Dwarf-related dream:

I open G&T to see a new news post lamenting the tragic passing of a Red Dwarf writer, whose name is an incomprehensibly long string of symbols with no letters, mostly @’s and &’s. I have no idea who this is, which leads to me to realise that I’ve been Mandela Effect-shifted to a parallel universe where this mysterious writer filled the role that was previously taken by Kim Fuller – only this new writer got to be more prolific in the series than Fuller, as she went on to write a number of episodes after ‘Blue’, with ‘Lemons’ being cited as her most major episode.

I try to find out more information about her, but searching is difficult due to her name, and there isn’t much out there. I manage to find a very sparse Wikipedia page (which can’t even have her name in the title because it’s over 100 characters, calling her “Many Ampersand Symbols” or something like that), and a video interview she gave at one point. The video interview makes it clear that she conducted 100% of her public life wearing a Daft Punk style robot costume and speaking through a voice modulator.

Anyway, the upshot is that everyone in the comments of the news post is suddenly being uncharacteristically enthusiastic about how good and underrated ‘Lemons’ is.

[Jonathan Capps]

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

  
For an encore I’m going to entirely rewrite the funeral scene from Stoke Me a Clipper in her honour.

[Author]

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