Who has has a Red Dwarf dream?

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

You have “phophetic” dreams, Warbo?

[Dave]

[RunawayTrain]

Oh that made me properly laugh Dave!

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Not a Red Dwarf dream in truth, just wanted to vent about how out of nowhere recently I’ve been having really interesting dreams with intriguing plot developments that get me really invested, and every single time just as I’m about to learn more the entire thing gets derailed with a very specific non sequitur that kills the mood so badly that I wake up surprised and annoyed. Next time I’ll probably be expecting it so I’ll just be annoyed.

For those interested, the non sequitur ending was getting into a tussle with the naked yellow guy from Return of the Living Dead. Bastard runs in out of nowhere and goes right for me. I’ve never even seen that movie all the way through, for crying out loud! And this latest one looked really interesting too, with bribery and a possible murder investigation and dodgy dealings at a hotel. What a pest.

[Warbodog]

I had a work procrastination anxiety dream, typically set back at school with a creative deadline looming. I take a break from trying to write a profound literary essay about an old pub to see how my classmates are getting on with their projects.

Flap Jack (who probably looks like Crash Bandicoot, I didn’t stare) is fan editing an old Red Dwarf scene of Rimmer and Kryten talking to make it look more interesting. The most obvious change is giving Rimmer a rocket pack in the long shots and having him hover rigidly around the screen.

This seems like an obvious pisstake of Remastered, but in the dream I took it seriously and admitted that it seemed pretty unnecessary and distracting, but would maybe look technically good when the effects were finished. Flap Jack shrugged off the criticism. Rimmer’s rocket pack was clearly non-negotiable.

[Unrumble]

Robbie Rocketpants is one step nearer to being realised on-screen 

[Flap Jack]

[Warbodog]

You’d think that with all your in-depth analysis of the series I’d have a higher opinion of you, but nope.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Gonna post Banana Pie’s dream from the Discord server:

I once had a dream I sadly don’t remember very well. I’ll try to relay it as accurately as possible. I am part of the Dwarf crew and we all get sent to a little town back in time (maybe the 1800s?). No one likes us, especially because of Kryten’s look. For some reason, we don’t age for hundreds of years and can’t leave the town. However, ultimately the townspeople learn to love us and we become accustomed to the new environment.
That idea seems vaguely similar to Time of the Doctor
And also that one Next Generation episode

[AtlasUnderwater]

OK, red dwarf dream i had about 4-5 days ago, writing gets weird after a bit cause this note is so long its literally slowing down My phone-so I’m no gonna mae a second draft or fix spelling mistakes. Lmao here we go-

I was invited to be alive audience member of the 13th season of Red Dwarf, which was filming in the Wilbur theatre in Boston. I’m all like, “Hells yeah, I can’t not go to this!” Neveronce questioning why it was filming in America, or why I, a complete rando got an invite at all. I get there and find my seat way up in the back, so I have full view of the entire stage. The set is like a cross between The Fantasticks and Cats, just massive towers of random garbage structured together to make a scene. Now what was interesting about the set pieces was that they were all on movable platforms, and crew members in black lycra suits would move pieces around behind the actors when they where supposed to be in a new place (different parks of the Dwarf, Starbug, some planet, etc). I do not question why the show is being presented as a filming of an episode when it’s clearly a stage play. 

Now, here is where I gets fucky. The studio lights go off, the stage lights go on, the crowd cheers…then the stage starts to rise. Up to about 15 feet, not a lot, but enough to make me as what the fuck is going on-then the stage splits into 2 sections,with a small thin bridge between he two. Theres a low bar about ankle height on the bridge, if it was for safety then someon REALLY fucked up

. Im now eye level with he stage, now I haven’t been to the Wilbur in a dogs age but I don’t remember this being a feature. Then I smell it, hot oil. I’ve worked in many a kitchen and my current job is as a fish monger, and we happen to have a fry station. Lights under the stage start start up and there it is, an entire pool of hot oil, not boiling, but hot enough for me to know it’s dangerous from the smell alone.

 But it’s obviousy part of the show,so by dream logic I know somethings off but don’t really question it.

  Kryton, Cat, Rimmer, Lister, AND Kochanski (!!!) walk on stage to thunderous applause. I really wish I remembered what the plot was, I really do, but honestly I don’t think there was a plot. 

 About fifteen minutes into the show Lister is walking between stage bits and trips over the low bar on the bridge, and falls straight down into the oil. The crowd roars with laughter and I’m wincing, the dude is a 60 year old recovering crack head, should he even be doing stunts like that??? That’s when the cannibalism screaming started.

Craig Charles is trying to stand up but keeps slipping, screaming in pain from the heat of the oil. The cast doesn’t react, at all.

 Everytime Lister is supposed to have a line the entire cast stops and stands completely still for a beat before continuing with their own respective lines. I start freaking out, I whisper to the people next to me that I don’t think it’s part of the show, I think something is wrong, they ignore me. I try standing, but my lower half is cemented and I can’t move. I start yelling out, “Is someone gonna do something? I think he’s hurt!” No one reacts, I keep yelling, the cast ignores me. Except for Chris Barrie, who shoots me a very nasty look, like I’m ruining the show when a cast member is literally cooking underneath him. I start to REALLY freak out and manage to get my phoneout of my pocket and furiously google “Craig Charles dying” “Craig Charles stage show” etc cause someone must have tweeted what’s happening, but there’s nothing-like he doesn’t exist, the show keeps going on. Craig is still screaming. It takes two hours for him to die. After a half hour of him laying still, face down in the oil, does the show end. The cast all hold hands and bow and the audience is standing and clapping, throwing roses, the whole bit. I’m still stuck the chair staring at the corpse.

It’s around here my partner shakesme awake cause I’m making little keeping whine noises I typically make while having a nightmare. I immediately sit up and google Crag Charles to see if he did, in fact, boil to death in oil. He was not only fine, but I learned he did a cheesy game show last year and cringed myself back to sleep. 

[Warbodog]

I can’t decide whether it’s more AI summary or copypasta, fun either way.

I really wish I remembered what the plot was, I really do, but honestly I don’t think there was a plot.

It’s because we’re not writers. When I try to read anything in a dream, like an urgent letter with multiple sets of handwriting, I struggle to make out any actual words then realise ffs it’s because it’s a dream innit.

[Dave]

Still better than Timewave etc.

[AtlasUnderwater]

Still better than Timewave etc.

Thank

I’ll give you kudos in the introduction when I write the next great American novel

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

It’s because we’re not writers.

Speak for yourself. :P

[Nick R]

Last night I dreamed that the Coral Canvass results came out, and the episode that came first was… DNA. Except I was confused because the episode in my dream did not bear much resemblance to the actual episode of that title. (Unfortunately I don’t remember what the plot of Dream-DNA was about.)

I only found out one of the other results: The Promised Land came last, because the rankings were affected by how many people had seen an episode, and as TPL was so new, very few people had seen it.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Idea for a thread: Who has has a Ganymede & Titan dream?

[Ridley]

I watched Out of Time for what was supposed to be the start of a rewatch for the poll then just dreamt about weeping over Phil being gone all night.

Not exactly haha funny but I am genuinely grateful you gave me an excuse to post this on what should have been his 42nd birthday.

[Warbodog]

Idea for a thread: Who has has a Ganymede & Titan dream?

A light end-of-sleep/naptime dream I’ve had a few times is that I post some absolute nonsense gibberish on G&T and immediately regret it, then I realise I’m waking up and gradually get the relief as my brain slowly works out that means it didn’t really happen.

Don’t know what that could be based on.

[Beryl 2]

I once had a dream I sadly don’t remember very well. I’ll try to relay it as accurately as possible. I am part of the Dwarf crew and we all get sent to a little town back in time (maybe the 1800s?). No one likes us, especially because of Kryten’s look. For some reason, we don’t age for hundreds of years and can’t leave the town. However, ultimately the townspeople learn to love us and we become accustomed to the new environment.

That idea seems vaguely similar to Time of the Doctor and The Inner Life.

[Quinn: Clochebusters World Champion]

Last night I dreamed that the Coral Canvass results came out, and the episode that came first was… DNA. Except I was confused because the episode in my dream did not bear much resemblance to the actual episode of that title. (Unfortunately I don’t remember what the plot of Dream-DNA was about.)
I only found out one of the other results: The Promised Land came last, because the rankings were affected by how many people had seen an episode, and as TPL was so new, very few people had seen it.

TPL is nearly 3 years old. Isn’t that wild. 

[International Debris]

Idea for a thread: Who has has a Ganymede & Titan dream?

I’ve probably mentioned it earlier in the thread, but I had a dream that John Hoare was giving me a tour of Birmingham. 

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

I’ve probably mentioned it earlier in the thread, but I had a dream that John Hoare was giving me a tour of Birmingham. 

How good was he as a tour guide?

[International Debris]

I also had one dream that John Hoare was giving me a guided tour of the West Midlands, including the large inland sea just south of Birmingham.

Turns out I did mention it, in the first reply to the thread. Sadly I can’t remember how good a guide he was. I’m sure he was excellent, though. If I could trust anyone’s attention to detail, it would be John’s.

[Formica]

TPL is nearly 3 years old. Isn’t that wild. 

Still younger than every gap between series since VI, save VII-VIII and XI-XII, isn’t it?

[Ridley]

I also had one dream that John Hoare was giving me a guided tour of the West Midlands, including the large inland sea just south of Birmingham.

Turns out I did mention it, in the first reply to the thread. Sadly I can’t remember how good a guide he was. I’m sure he was excellent, though. If I could trust anyone’s attention to detail, it would be John’s.

Death by a thousand cuts, huh, Ian?

[Warbodog]

[Ridley]

We were all trying to decide best episode by meeting in a park or something which was all rather undone by the arguments over the merits of the park/urban green space-based grading system.

[RunawayTrain]

I dreamed last night that the joint statement from Rob and Doug was an April Fools joke.  Very happy to come on here today and see it still at the top of the home page!

[Warbodog]

Limmy casually reveals on stream that he’s been sent rough cuts of three new Red Dwarf specials, with a comment from GNP along the lines of “don’t worry about providing any critique or suggestions.” He plays a clip of the c.1992-looking guys running from an Alien-type creature for a minute or so, then moves on without comment, whether due to humorous compliance or genuine disinterest.

[clem]

My living room wall had been converted into an approximation of the Joke Wall from Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In (See attached) but the Red Dwarf cast were in there along with Rob and Doug. The cast weren’t in character but wore TPL costumes, rusty Kryten, Mighty Light Rimmer, ‘Three months later’ bearded Cat and hard hat Lister. It was all so that I could sit on my settee and quiz them about the future of the show, as I’d won a poetry competition judged by Craig. Not a bad prize. They revealed that Rob and Doug are writing and directing two feature length specials together, the second of which will be the definitive last ever episode. Holly will be in them and Kochanski will be in one of them which will also guest star Paul Putner and Kerry Howard. When I asked about Mac, Doug said he’d retired from acting and Bobby said he heard he’d bought an orange grove in Florida. He said that was on Channel 4 news. While all this was going on a couple of skutters were in one corner, painting over the psychedelic design of the wall, changing it to Ocean/Military grey. One of them got paint on Doug’s sleeve and he called it a moron and then said “These little twats aren’t in the specials either” and everyone laughed. I thanked Bobby for getting masked up just to do this as I know it nearly kills him these days, and the other three started jokingly complaining that their costumes were uncomfortable too, Danny’s beard was itchy, Chris’s pecs were digging into him and Craig’s hard hat was heavy. Then Craig had to leave to do his radio show, so we all said bye and when he shut his hatch doors they had a Red Dwarf XIV: Bread Dwarf logo on them.

[Flap Jack]

Amazingly detailed stuff. And what a prize for winning a poetry competition.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

Did you manage to rhyme Rimmer with scum?

And did you find a rhyme for Kochanski that wasn’t underpanski?

[clem]

There wasn’t actually a poem. I just dreamt I’d won.

[International Debris]

Superb stuff. Laughed at Red Dwarf XIV: Bread Dwarf. 

Can’t remember many details, but I had a dream last night that involved me trying to make a meme with the Smegadrive. I couldn’t decide whether the second panel should be a Rob in Backwards [gets idea] panel, or if I should use a shot of a monster in an underground car park and have the third panel as a photo of Doug with a [gets idea] caption. 

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

What was the first panel?

[Dave]

Last night I had a strange dream that I was at a party in someone’s garden at nighttime, and there was a crowd of people looking up at the sky because a giant projection of Norm-Holly’s face was being projected up there, doing a routine a bit like the SOS distress calls from the first two series.

Then I went and looked in the shed and Norm was in there with a black blanket around his neck, being filmed to broadcast the entire thing live. And Doug was in there as well feeding him lines so he could ad lib and react to the crowd a bit (presumably influenced by that part in the first novel where Holly’s giant face looks down on the crew as they’re arriving and answers all their questions).

I think they should do this for the opening of the eventual live stage show, it’d be great.

[Warbodog]

Rob Grant’s buttski releases official Red Dwarf luncheon meat sausage (if anyone’s childhood had things like this in it).

G&T user Moonlight posts a scathing review after a taste test, only learning from subsequent comments that it’s actually meat (technically) and not some plant-based thing as somehow assumed. This sends her into a full vegan panic meltdown, posting pic after pic of increasingly desecrated official Red Dwarf meat product while the community tries to offer support.

Apologies!

[International Debris]

Watching series V repeats and couldn’t get over how scary it was. Quarantine, in particular, had a ten minute segment of them exploring the research station, all low lights, weird noises, strange figures moving in the shadows and so on. Also spotted, for the first time, very brief previews of later episodes in the series during the scene in The Iniquisitor where the titular character grabs Lister by the head and shows him his future, while screaming “DO YOU SEE?!” (I haven’t watched Event Horizon in years, but it was clearly where this came from), including a second-long clip of the Caramac spaceship from episode five. It then came up in Smegle and everyone was so confused because they didn’t realise it was included in that scene. I only got a few minutes into the final episode – Chris Barrie’s last – before I woke, but Rimmer and Kryten were exploring a (non-scary) abandoned ship on their own.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

I wish we got that version of Series 5.

Also, dream Moonlight is a vegan?! 

[Dave]

Looking forward to all the veggie details.

[Warbodog]

Demons & Angels horror-xtended would be fucked up.

[Moonlight]

Looking forward to all the veggie details.

As long as they’re fresh or frozen, not canned. Canned vegetables are inedible flavorless mush.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

[RunawayTrain]

Rob Grant’s buttski releases official Red Dwarf luncheon meat sausage (if anyone’s childhood had things like this in it).

I *knew* that was going to be Billy Bear!

[Flap Jack]

Last night I dreamt that I got to see 2 completely new Red Dwarf episodes, and I was lucid enough that I thought “oh, I better focus, so I can remember these for the G&T dreams thread!”. Unfortunately I had another, largely unrelated dream straight afterwards, so I’ve forgotten the details now. It frustrated me in the dream itself. I was like “goddamnit, I haven’t got time to be dealing with this work colleague who got super powers and turned evil, I need to remember the Red Dwarf dream I just had”.

All I can remember is that one of the episodes was called “A Ship of Cowards” and involved a space battle, and the other episode was Holly-focused (possibly inspired by the discussion yesterday about the unmade episode idea where they would have shown Holly’s psyche as being a woman dressed in black speaking into a camera).

There was also some extra bleed over between the 2 dreams, because in the 2nd dream there was a major announcement: Doug revealed that they’d made an extra scene/mini-episode during the production of The Promised Land, and it hadn’t been included on the Blu ray release for some reason, but they were going to release it now. Next thing I know it’s showing on the TV (the hotel room TV at the work conference where my colleague was about to turn evil, of course), and despite it being mostly action, I was so moved that I wept.

[Future Producer of Series IX – aaaaany day now]

“goddamnit, I haven’t got time to be dealing with this work colleague who got super powers and turned evil, I need to remember the Red Dwarf dream I just had”.

Aw man, I hate when that happens!

[Warbodog]

Chris and Craig are sitting around a kitchen table on some informal, crowded Sunday Brunch type show, but they’re not doing a great job of promoting Red Dwarf or seeming like they want to be there. Craig turns around to talk inaudibly to his co-star occasionally. Chris does at least attempt to join in with banter when Friends is mentioned (“that was a good show, good performers…”), but only in a meek mumble.

I get distracted when old BBC sitcom Stone is mentioned, an implausiby long-running dark supernatural comedy drama based around people turning to stone, and carefully check out spoiler-free clips of what looks like an authentic 80s historical sitcom, but I realise on waking was really based around Game Boy Advance emulator game Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus.

[Ian Symes]

Dreamt I was skimming through copies of the Smegazine in preparation for upcoming DwarfCasts, when I noticed a secret code running across multiple features in multiple issues. It was basically uncovering a conspiracy that there was a third person involved in the creation of Red Dwarf. I pieced together all the clues, and it led me to a secret map showing the location of the crucial evidence that would prove everything. I instantly recognised it as Seb Patrick’s parents’ Florida mansion.

(NB. Seb’s parents live in a house on the outskirts of Liverpool, they do not, as far as I’m aware, have a giant mansion in Florida)

Anyway, we arranged for the three of us to come and visit. As a special treat, Seb’s dad had invited Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy and Paul McGann round for tea. But we were there for one reason only – to uncover the truth about Red Dwarf’s creation. I gathered the former Doctors, my G&T colleagues and my dead friend’s parents around to tell the tale. It turned out Seb’s dad John had been to school with Rob and Doug, and they’d secretly stolen one of the key ideas behind Red Dwarf’s success from him.

(NB. John grew up in a different part of the country to Rob and Doug)

He’d forgotten all about it, but for some reason he’d always kept hold of a desk from his old school, even bringing it with him to Florida. And there on the desk, scratched in using the sharp end of a pair of compasses, was a cartoon figure of a man with a H on his head. John had drawn it all those years ago, and Rob and Doug nabbed the idea from him.

When we got home, we revealed the truth to the world. And then Linda Glover told us off because we’d just completely destroyed the delicately negotiated resolution to the legal dispute by bringing a third co-creator into the equation.

[Flap Jack]

Seems reasonable that John would be so chill about being ripped off by Rob and Doug, considering that he ended up living in a Florida mansion, and they ended up living in not-mansions in not-Florida. Though it’s an extra level of zen to also be chill as his son not only watches and gets into Red Dwarf, but goes on to become one of its most famous fans and eventually works for the official website.

I wonder how Dream-Ian-verse Howarth and Lyons discovered this bombshell in the first place in order to set up the clues.

[SmegHammer]

[Author]

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