Alex

[Alex]

I’m sure that’s the same one that gets resisted every year on Amazon but never produced. I’d be amazed if it actually saw the light of day.

[Alex]

[Alex]

It’s annoying and embarrassing the way a few people have behaved, but I suppose the petition does demonstrate the widespread love people have for the show.

I think that what has happened there is that Bobby and Doug have seen and reacted to Danny’s tweet, but not actually read what he was linking to. As a rule of thumb, I’d always question anything Danny links to. Yesterday he was suggesting that the show was currently being snubbed by the Beeb because it didn’t feature an all white cast, which I think we can all agree is MENTAL.

[Alex]

Was the programme everyone’s talking about the same one this petition was about?

No, the petition was set up after Danny tweeted saying that Dwarf wasn’t on The Telegraph’s list or on the (at that time) uploaded videos on the BBC site. The show tonight was something he latched onto after someone tweeted Dara having a go at him about Dwarf being ignored. That led to Dara being very confused as Dwarf was in that show and he had no knowledge of what had been going on over the previous couple of days.

[Alex]

There is no BBC snub of Dwarf going on, and that petition really doesn’t need to exist. As it happens, they always make no difference anyway, but the annoying thing is that news websites are picking it up as a story and that is not a good thing. It’s making us look an idiot shouting at a cashier for not serving them after they’ve already paid their money and taken their goods home.

Lets be clear. The Telegraph left the show off their list but that means fuck all, and it’s certainly in no way an official list as Bobby’s blog and Danny’s many tweets seem to suggest. From the BBC side, they didn’t have a Dwarf video up, but when Bobby questioned it they pointed out that they are still updating and even asked him what clips he’d like to see. That should have been the end of it, but instead it’s been snowballing on Twitter and it’s getting ridiculous.

The tweets being sent to Dara Ó Briain tonight from fans and DJJ that berated him for Red Dwarf not being included when it was were insane. On the upside, they weren’t quite as insane as the tweets then claiming that it was a victory of the petition that the show got a mention.

AS IF THEY WENT BACK AND FILMED AND EXTRA BIT BECAUSE OF IT.

The whole affair has been truly embarrassing and some of the behaviour on Twitter has been disgraceful. Dwarf is part of the anniversary celebrations and was always going to be.

[Alex]

Time out with medi bots on the horizon?

It seems a bit early if the cast are saying November for Series XI. He’d away from the street for about 6 months before they need him on Red Dwarf.

[Alex]

Hmm, the forum went a bit weird there and cut off most of what I posted. the others were:

“LUV U LITTLE MIX!!!! LUV this song so much! I knw for definite that it’ll cum No.1 YH! hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahah look at the manager! LOL HE was so clueless LOL”

“this videos got me questioning if I like girls or not”

“This made me feel physical sick.”

“cameo would be turning in his grave, if he was dead”

[Alex]

It’s fairly evident by the comments no one has a clue as Jason said.

To go a bit Adam Buxton-y for a minute, here are some of my favourite comments on the video:

“LOl…That guy which is principle or teacher or something…He reminds me of Mr.Bean”

“OMG OMG OMG, MY FUCKING FEELS”

“LUV U LITTLE MIX!!!!

[Alex]

Ooh, that is an intriguing image Alex. I wonder whose face is reflected on the left.

I believe it’s just a stock image to represent the Homo Sapienoid leader.

[Alex]

Yep, it’s here:

[Alex]

Yep that’s the one, though it’s far from being the whole interview and excludes the Q&A where the question came up.

I think the thing is that Alan has often believed himself to be happy in his own skin, despite whatever new depth his career/ personal life has sunk to. Part of the joy of IAP series 2 is seeing an Alan that has (for the most part) bought into his own story of having bounced back despite the fact that he clearly hasn’t.

By Mid Morning Matters you have Alan as he is in Alpha Papa basically, but his situation is far from stable. He’s now on a digital station that only covers North Norfolk and judging by the chapters on it in ‘I, Partridge’ his job is far from secure. You also have an Alan who is getting older and possibly reaching the end of his career. Again, it’s touched on in the book, but the whole fact he and Pat are the two up for being fired in the film acts as a reminder of that.

[Alex]

I went to the BFI preview screening of Alpha Papa and Armando was asked about that afterwards. He basically said that if you thought the Alan we see at the start or the end of the film was a happy one then you weren’t looking deep enough. In terms of the end for example, he said that we should question where Alan has gotten the money for a boat from.

[Alex]

I’ve been looking forward to this for a while. Aside from his songs I’ve always enjoyed Mitch’s standup and I’ve always found him to be a nice guy when I’ve met him so I try to keep up with what he’s up to. I got my copy yesterday and I’ve had a flick through the first few chapters this morning. The Gaiman influence is obvious but that’s not surprising. Looks good so far though! I’ll report back when I finish it.

[Alex]

I saw it yesterday and my friend and I both walked out and immediately said ‘well that was very disappointing wasn’t it?’

As we went through the film it suddenly crossed my mind that this is the last part of the Cornetto Trillogy, yet the popular ice-cream has been entirely absent. Then suddenly a wrapper flies past and you think, ‘ah, that’s sort of a Cornetto I guess. Well that’s that then.’ That was how I felt about the entire film. An odd repeat in many ways if Shaun of the Dead with occasional nods to the previous two films that didn’t amount to much. There were about 2-3 occasions where we actually laughed, but most of the time it at best raised a smile. Not the case for the rest of the audience at our screening, but then they were braying at every use of the word cunt, which came up more than I expected.

Even then however, it’s too hard to nail what I found wrong with the film down to one or two central problems as there were just so many elements that felt off to me. The intro was too long, the plot took a long time to get going, when it kicked it it felt like 2 different films, the emotional elements felt forced and the ending just felt misplaced. I do think that one of the problems for me was that the Sci-Fi they chose to parody was basically an Invasion of the Bodysnatchers type story, which wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that this creates a lot of the same story points a zombie film does. That meant that all the time the characters moved through their pub crawl you were constantly reminded how much more enjoyable this had been in Shaun of The Dead.

Perhaps I’ll change my opinion on a re-watch, but I really have no motivation to see it again at the moment. The most irritating part was that it wasn’t even an *awful* film per se, it was just not as good as it should have been from all involved. That said, the film is saved by it’s second half. If it had carried on in the style of the first half I would be far more scathing.

[Alex]

I think my favourite one that led to Gazpacho Soup was ‘Norman Lovett goes to car shows’.

[Alex]

It’s been up for a while, but it has some interesting bits and pieces in there. It’s just a shame that Ken Plume is so bloody irritating.

[Alex]

*Goes to make the ‘I owe my life to him’ reference.*

*See it’s already been made several times*

WELL FUCK THE LOT OF YOU.

[Alex]

> lol hey alex did you manage to forget it’s your turn? :)

No, I just don’t sit with this site on constant refresh as I seem to have a more active and interesting social life than you do which means I don’t always have time to check internet forums.

I chose not to go on about ‘achievements’ at the time as it’d be the most horrendous kind of self congratulatory wank all over this already toss filled thread. I also have an objection to conversing with those who talk about themselves in the third person as it’s usually a sign that all the coats in their house will have special tie back arms with locks. What the fuck though, this is a pointless exercise but I’ve got five minutes to kill and I might enjoy the laugh.

You graduated from uni? Woop-de-fucking-do. So did a vast majority of the users here (including myself) and we have never used it as a way of lauding it over others you cock-nosed halfwit. You took a job in the army? Well I’m afraid that I’ve always found the type of jarheads that profession attracts to be some of the biggest dullards that I have ever encountered. Congratulations, therefore, as you appear to be the living, breathing embodiment of that stereotype.

Personally I’m proud to have gone from being unable to play an instrument to 5 years later having recorded several CDs, opened for some of my favourite artists (plus others who’ve had hit singles) and gained the respect and praise of Robin Trower for my song writing and playing, thus achieving all I ever wanted to with music. I, however, am equally aware that this means bugger all to most of the population and it’s purely a matter of personal pride. I frankly feel embarrassed touting my wares on here like this and apologise to everyone else for doing so. I only do it reluctantly to make a point. Let’s get one thing straight; nobody cares about your job and they certainly don’t give a flying monkey fuck about your car. Nor should they care about mine or anybody else’s. This isn’t a competition. It’s not a ‘who’s got the biggest cock’-athon, no matter whether you seem to think it is or not. The only reason this thread still exists and you aren’t banned is because everyone is laughing at you.

[Alex]

Fucking hell. I don’t check the site for *one* day and this thread carries on for 103 more messages. This is fast becoming one of the most popular threads. I like to view it like the old Victorian freak shows. Pay a penny, see the freak.

[Alex]

>Dear alex they are free to just name 2 things they have accomplished :)

I’ll just put you down as ‘none’ then?

[Alex]

> See people can do something about being fat and a failure with no accomplishments

Forgetting the fact that plenty of members on here have a variety of impressive achievements for just a moment here, what precisely are your oh so wonderful accomplishments? A Noble Prize perhaps? A long sought cure for a deadly tropical disease maybe? One things for certain, it’s certainly not the ability to read or write to a competent degree. A lot of your replies are incomprehensible nonsense.

[Alex]

> sebby if it’s there the newbs cant join
it does not affect my joining in any way
not trying to trick you
you just cant see it’s a win win either way :)
P.S. I am a twat, obviously.

I love the fact that the only part of your replies that are actually punctuated are the parts added automatically by G&T. Why is it that whenever one of these facile morons appears on here to enact their own bizarre fantasies they always seem to be totally unaware of the existence of commas and full stops?

[Alex]

And they say Gazpacho Soup gets all the nutters…

[Alex]

> If nothing else, this thread has allowed Alex to bring the phrase “arse-shatteringly trivial” to a wider audience.

Well it seemed a shame to waste it, especially when the occasion seemed so apt.

[Alex]

You do realise that cutting and pasting stuff you’ve previously put in this thread doesn’t actually make your point stronger don’t you? If it’s been ignored then it’s because it’s a point so cretinous that nobody has felt the need to engage with it, lest they waste their time in the manner you seem resigned to with such arse shatteringly trivial irrelevancies.

[Alex]

> Do you notice that there is not 1 alpha male let alone female among you?

Wait, Jo, Tanya, Carrie, Joey, Mabel and all the other female members are actually MEN?

[Alex]

> I didn’t start thinking about sleep until 5:30.

Is that when Danny and I left you by the piano? If so then Jesus I didn’t know it was that late. Still, that’s wine for you. And snap, if I’d known you didn’t have a room I’ve have tried to sort something out for you!

[Alex]

>Anyone on G&T blagging tickets to the recording?

If I see them up for grabs in time then I’ll be applying.

[Alex]

> According to Gazpacho Soup, the other slebs on Craig and Danny’s episode are Su Pollard & Jefferey Holland (Hi-Di-Hi), Jean Boht & Nick Conway (Bread) and Brendan O’Carroll & Jennifer Gibney (Mrs Brown’s Boys). So if you see any of those names crop up in listings, you’ll know that’s the one.

Yep, I was at the recording with Jo and that was the line up. It’s definitely a better show than the Pointless with Danny and Ben Miller, even if I did find Brendan O’Carroll to be a throughly vile individual throughout. It’ll be his name the listings will be touting though.

[Alex]

Hmm, Doug and (sort of) 70s prog rock. That’s a hard combination to say no two when it combines two of my big interests. Might have to pop along.

[Alex]

It was certainly apparent last night, if it hadn’t been already, that however all of this started Norman has felt quite hurt by some of it and God knows I’m responsible for the lions share of that it seems. While I don’t think anyone on here would have gone to the length of trolling Norm by sending messages directly him saying why we disagreed with the comments etc he was making about 4 years ago, we were quite happy to come and post them on here. In my case, my posts were certainly tailored to the tone of the site and without a thought that Norm would then go through them. In hindsight, that’s regrettable.

Was it an overreaction? Well very possibly. I’d remove the pictures from this thread if I could and if any of the admins can, then please do so as imageshack don’t allow me to. For the record, I don’t hold a grudge on any of this and never did, even if I joked at the time about my disappointment in the comments he was making. The review of his DVD for Gazpacho Soup even tries to address this in it’s opening paragraph to try and reinforce this point incase anyone got the wrong impression. Sadly, it seemed last night that such sentiments might not amount to enough, but if Norm *is* checking this thread then it seems worth making my position clear. Like Ian I can’t help but think that regrettable things were said on both sides, for which I happily apologise for my part therein.

[Alex]

G&T introduced me to Captain Butler.

Bastards.

[Alex]

>Anyone got this? Isn’t it just republished stuff from Smegazine?

Yeah, I reviewed it on Gazpacho Soup a while ago.

Jane Killick – Stasis Leaked Complete: The Unofficial Behind The Scenes Guide To Red Dwarf (Book Review)

[Alex]

Oh yeah, I needed a a rhyme for bosom to give Danny the feed didn’t I? Uh, ok let’s go with:

I just can’t get it out of my head. It’s just so catchy! “Om!”

[Alex]

>“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeextrordinary!” (actually this needs to be the punchline to another line, so someone think of the one that feeds this… :D)

Never mind this tot, what about *me*, old man? What happens to *me*?

[Alex]

>Do you have anything to say?

I wonder why they call it “Mayday”

That’s right! I told her I wanted to play the field.

[Alex]

Ah smashing, yeah put me down for that.

[Alex]

Oh right, I didn’t know about the SexKey thing or the pictures, I just remember him from ages ago. I’ve stayed off Galifrey Base for some time now as it was getting so negative in parts that it was depressing to read. This whole thing has obviously escalated a bit since I last saw anything.

[Alex]

I’m highly sceptical. There have been numerous hoaxes in the past and I’ve not seen anything to suggest that this isn’t one of them. He’s been around for some time now and there really hasn’t been anything in the way of tangible proof, just vague stories about people jumping to contact him when they’e never contacted anyone else.

Of course, it *could* be legit, but I doubt it. I wouldn’t go to the extent of some fans and send him verbal abuse on Twitter as even if it is all make believe I don’t think he’s doing anything that will harm the hunt. Plus of course, if it is all bollocks, then let him waste his own time on his own make believe. However, the whole way this is being done and the way the promise of downloads is being used as an incentive to get to 50,000 followers makes me highly suspicious.

Will I be following him on Twitter? Maybe. Not because I think he’s got any episodes, but because it’ll give me a laugh to see how this develops.

[Alex]

It looks like I’m the only one that REALLY loves Out of Time and the haphazard manner in which it was put together!

I think both Seb and I would disagree with this sentiment.

[Alex]

Future Echoes: After Rimmer watches him explode, Lister tries to stop The Cat from getting a fishy mouthful.

[Alex]

I’ve seen Richard in good and bad moods after gigs. I think it’s sometimes more noticeable with him than with Stew if he isn’t really into the signings etc at the end. Then again he’s human and he can’t be up and happy every time. I’ve seen Stew being equally off-hand on occasion, even after gigs had gone well. I seem to remember Richard saying that the Christmas run of Christ on a bike was a pretty miserable experience as it wasn’t the type of show people wanted to see at that time of year.

[Alex]

I think it’s a difference of experience. I’ve been told quite a few times in the past by comedy fans that they didn’t like Bottom as they thought it was puerile. Plus I do believe that it is a much stronger effort than The Young Ones, but tends to get overlooked in favour of it when people talk about comedy. There are a few instances where it’s been held up quite well, like in the Britain’s Best Sitcom poll, but with critics it’s often more of a footnote than an important point of comedy history and just ‘the thing they did after The Young Ones’.

[Alex]

Thank you all for humouring my inane ramblings on something I was so desperate to defend after the Christmas Red Dwarf Introcast that I may have overstated the case a bit. The original sadly got a little bit mangled in places when Steve edited it so there are a couple of sections that read a bit oddly. That said, the original was fairly long and those bits aside it probably scans better now. I’ve never shaken off the style of essay writing I had to use for my History degree and that’s not really the style Chortle go for.

Anyway, I put the unedited version up on my site.

[Alex]

Also, I get the feeling almost everyone else is a lot younger than forty. Except Pecos, LOL.

At 23 I’m used to being one of the younger fans, but I’m getting the feeling that quite a few of the newer users might be younger than I am.

[Alex]

The last 5 minutes of Out of Time going out live in 93. I guess it could have been the repeat run as I was only 4 and too young to remember reliably, but I’m pretty sure I remember watching the repeat run afterwards.

[Alex]

Top Ten:

1 – Marooned
2 – Gunmen of the Apocalypse
3 – The Inquisitor
4 – Timeslides
5 – Out of Time
6 – Back to Reality
7 – Queeg
8 – Confidence & Paranoia
9 – Legion
10 – Polymorph

Bottom Ten:

52 – Ouroboros
53 – Krytie TV
54 – Blue
55 – Back in the Red – Part 2
56 – Nanarchy
57 – Beyond a Joke
58 – Back in the Red – Part 3
59 – Pete – Part 1
60 – Only the Good…
61 – Pete – Part 2

[Alex]

The weekend’s viewing reminded me of this similarity between the first episode of Sooty & Co and ‘Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading’ from Father Ted 3 years later.

[Alex]

These are all things I try to catch over the course of December.

TV:
Knowing Me Knowing Yule
Bottom – Holy
Father Ted – A Christmassy Ted
Blackadder’s Christmas Carol
League of Gentlemen Christmas Special
Men Behaving Badly – Jingle Balls
A Child’s Christmases In Wales
The Peter Serafinowicz Christmas Special
Doctor Who – A Christmas Carol

Film:
Trading Places
Father Christmas
It’s A Wonderful Life
Scrooge

And as Ian brought it up, I also try to listen to I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Christmas Carol as well. I went to the recording of this year’s Christmas special with Steven Fry which was great, so that’s sure to be added to the list in years to come.

[Alex]

My immediate thoughts are, ‘screw everything else there, THEY”RE SHOWING SOOTY FROM 1985 AND AN EPISODE OF SOOTY & CO!’

I fucking love Sooty.

[Author]

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